What really happens when you take someone’s sex juices in your mouth? By BareAmy83 & LePenseur. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Today we’re talking about the thrill of ministering to your sex partner’s wonderful playground right between two legs. And today we’re discussing the oral delight to the mouth. This is the safest sex act involving penetration. The first report comes from BareAmy83. She’s so delighted for all the health benefits she derives from her man’s semen. But it’s her story to tell, so here she is. The Science of Cum  Why Blowjobs Are a LOT Sexier Than You Ever Imagined. Author’s Note: I have pooled various internet research, studies, facts and figures in order to give you an interesting way of looking at something we all may take for granted in our sexual lives: oral sex and the male ejaculation. I am by no means a scientist or doctor, and none of what you read is intended as medicinal advice, it’s just something that I found rather neat and slightly kinky, and want to share with anyone who has a passing interest in what happens when you go down on a man and swallow his cum. Enjoy and happy blowjob giving! PROLOGUE Oral sex is one of the safest acts of sex between two people. There is absolutely no risk of pregnancy when a couple engages in pleasing each other orally. Bringing your partner to a satisfying climax is enjoyable for both the giver and the receiver. And for those of us who are sexual ‘submissives’, we are often called upon to orally please our Sir or Madam, or even other people. While giving oral sex to a female can be incredibly rewarding, the focus of this essay is to focus on the immediate outcome of successful oral sex given to a man, by stimulating his penis with your mouth to the point of ejaculation. And more to the point, what *actually* happens when a male ejaculates into someone’s mouth? Sure, there’s a satisfying orgasm for that person, but for the person giving the blowjob, it goes beyond the simple receiving of semen into the mouth. And, depending on how you look at it, the outcome from receiving that load of semen is either disgusting or sexy. Personally, I feel it to be insanely sexy! To understand what happens when you receive a load of semen in your mouth, let’s first talk about the area receiving most of the “action”: your tongue. THE TONGUE The human tongue is actually the largest muscle in your body. It aids in chewing and digestion, speaking and breathing. Your tongue runs from your hyoid bone (in the middle of your neck) to the floor of your mouth. Your tongue is mostly made of muscles, anchored to your mouth by a web of strong tissue, and covered in mucosa (a moist pink lining that covers certain organs and body cavities). It is sensitive and kept moist by saliva and is richly supplied with nerves and blood vessels. The upper part of the tongue is covered by four different types of taste buds housed in lingual papillae: Filiform: taking up the front 2/3rds of your tongue, they do not contain taste buds. Fungiform: mushroom-like in appearance, they are on the sides and tip of your tongue, and consist of about 1,600 taste buds Circumallate: small bumps on the back of the tongue, containing about 250 taste buds. Foliate: rough golds of tissue, containing several hundred taste buds. Taste buds are clusters of nerve cells that send sensory messages to your brain for five different tastes: sweet, salty, bitter, sour and savory. Although people think that different areas of the tongue taste different things, that is not true. All taste buds can detect the five tastes, but some are more sensitive towards certain tastes. In total, the human tongue has from 2,000 to 8,000 taste buds. Each bud has 50 to 100 taste gustatory hairs, or receptors. These receptors pick up different chemicals and send a signal the brain that it has a particular nutrient in it that is either good or bad for the body. A LITTLE ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES When a male ejaculates into the mouth cavity, a whitish fluid called semen is disgorged from the penis. Semen (also known as “ejaculate” or “cum” or even the slang term “seed”) consists of liquids from the prostate, seminal vesicles and bulbourethral glands, and contains sperm (male reproductive cells), sugars, proteins, and even some vitamins and minerals. A typical ejaculation will have 15 million to 200 million sperm per milliliter. Semen is a delivery method, and once delivered, it’s the sperm’s job to get to work, regardless of where it is placed. In a warm, wet environment, the sperm will thrive, sometimes up to five days. In a very cold area, or even in hot water, sperm will die quickly. This is where things get interesting. GETTING To WORK Each sperm has one job: find a female egg and fertilize it for purposes of reproduction. When millions of sperm are released, they work their way through the area, testing every possible crevice to achieve their goal. In the mouth, that means that a majority of sperm and going to be diving into the taste pores of the tongue and interacting with the taste receptor cell and basal cell. The sperm does not know that the taste cell is not an egg, and will try very hard to penetrate the taste bud. The rapid movement of the sperm cell and seminal “cocktail” fluid will trigger a taste response that cannot be explained by “normal” flavors. Nearly every taste bud will have a sperm try to enter it. The longer the seminal fluid and sperm stay on the tongue, the more intense the stimuli from the taste buds will be. Because seminal fluid contains sugars, minerals and other flavors, the brain will presume that the fluid is present to help aid the body. Sugar signals the presence of carbohydrates, which is an energy source. Salt is essential for maintaining the body’s water balance and blood circulation. Other tastes, such as glutamate and amino acids reflect food’s protein content. The brain, feeling these items are necessary, will pump extra saliva into the mouth. Saliva will help to prolong the sperm’s lifespan. Saliva will also help break down the clumps of sperm into a more lubricated liquid that increases sperm life and coats deep within the cell walls of the mouth. Thus, sperm will explore beyond the tongue, into the walls, roof, and jaw of the mouth, as well as down the throat, seeking that ever-elusive (and, sadly, not-at-all-present) egg for fertilization. Diving back that deep into the mouth and throat will trigger an active swallow response. Even after the sperm have been consumed, they are still actively seeking any openings they can find to penetrate. Cheek and tongue cells will be penetrated by the sperm. The introduction of water (aka “Trying to get the taste out of your mouth”) will not remove the penetrated sperm. Once it’s embedded, it’s staying embedded. In around 15 minutes, the immune system will receive signals that cells are damaged and that a foreign substance (the sperm) is present, and it will being to try to repair and remove the offenders. This will cause inflammation in the area. The inflammation swells around the cells, pores and cavities that the sperm has embedded itself within. The immune system can only rid itself of the sperm through the blood stream, so it pulls the sperm into the body and circulates it. Within 30 minutes, millions of sperm are in nearly every organ of the body, including the brain. Psychological Effects The sperm can attach to active sites of proteins, causing neurotransmitters to be released. With a higher volume of sperm consumption, this can result in an emotionally induced pleasure, or “high”. Some refer to it by a much more base, slang term: “Cum Drunk”. Because it creates this high, the brain remembers it and will begin to associate sperm consumption with a pleasurable feeling, similar to nicotine. Although it’s certainly not been proven, it’s been postulated that some nymphomaniacs or even sex workers and porn stars can develop a craving, or even addiction, to sperm consumption over time. It’s also been theorized that the high created by sperm consumption can be a defense mechanism against depression in some people. Consumption of sperm has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. It also can increase sex drive, especially within women, in large doses. Typically, within 40 minutes, the sperm that remains in the mouth denatures and dies. Saliva breaks it down further and a specific scent will remain, typified by a bleach and ocean scent. The coating in the mouth and throat will begin to dissolve and go away. Any dry, dead sperm outside the mouth with become stiff due to the organic polymer within seminal fluid, tightening the skin. Thick seminal fluid that drives will begin to flake and peel. Any semen consumed by the body will think it is food and use it for cell regeneration. The body will use it to make new cells. The sperm literally becomes a part of you. By BareAmy83 for Literotica. Rapturous Clitoris Clitoris, why are you yet so fair? By LePenseur I have a confession to make: I am entranced by the clitoris. Ever since I learned about it, I wanted to see one for real. I wanted to watch it swell into a blushing pearl, and tentatively wrap my tongue around it and send a girl through the roof. I did eventually tongue a girl’s clitoris, and it was every bit as delightful as I had hoped. She didn’t go through the roof, sadly. But that wasn’t the end of it. Every lover I have, I long to see her clitoris. Because, in my mind, the clitoris is the single sexiest part of the female body. It’s almost a fixation. I love to stare at a clitoris, stroke a clitoris, tongue a clitoris, run the velvety underside of my penis on a clitoris. When I watch an adult movie, I look for clitorises. And when I read erotic literature, there had better be lots of gratuitous clitoris play, or I’ll be tempted to move on. I always pronounce it “KLIT-oh-riss.” I’m aware of an alternate pronunciation, “klit-ORE-iss”, but I don’t like it as much. And it’s very trendy and common to talk about a “clit”, but that to me seems to abrupt. It’s a beautiful organ and deserves a beautiful name. No need to cut it short. In my mind, saying the full “clitoris” means you’re talking about a thoroughly fascinating and sexy part of the body for longer, and therefore I say clitoris and not clit. Twice as many letters, twice as sexy. Now, there are other parts down there too. There’s the vagina, which is nice and very sexy when wet, but I feel it’s overrated. The inner labia are wonderful too, with so many shapes and sizes and colors to fantasize about. I like the way the skin folds and stretches, and I love the rich pink everything turns when a woman is aroused. And when you top it all off with the swollen purple button of an engorged clitoris? Breathtaking. I know, I know, there are other parts of a woman too. But as of the time of this writing, I am in my early twenties and fairly sexually inexperienced. I can’t help it. The center of womanhood, especially the clitoris, is one of the most arrestingly beautiful things on this earth. I can’t help but admire it, worship it even. Nothing turns me on more than seeing a clitoris, straining past its hood, taut with desire. Don’t take this to mean that bigger is always better. A clitoris is at its best when it looks at home in its gorgeous surroundings. Artificially enlarging it makes it look out of place and uncomfortable. In my opinion, a clitoris that relies on pumps or steroids is trying way too hard. No clitoris is naturally unattractive, but it’s easy to make a clitoris unnaturally unattractive. There’s no size contest here. Similarly, while I drool over the clitoris to no end, I don’t want one of my own. I quite like my penis, we’ve been very good to one another. Plus, it’s always more fun to play with somebody else’s body parts. Drawing my finger or tongue along a wet clitoris’s sheer surface and hearing a woman moan is heavenly. It wouldn’t be the same if it were my own. So what makes a clitoris attractive? I wish I could answer this question better, because this answer sounds downright silly. But the fact of the matter is, when presented with a clitoris, I always think it’s the most beautiful clitoris I’ve seen yet. Memories can’t bring back the raw lust and desire I feel when I’m looking at an erect clitoris just inches from my face, and I don’t even try. I will stare at your clitoris, maybe take a few deep breaths. My eyes will shine. I will tell you it’s absolutely the prettiest clitoris I’ve ever seen. And I’ll mean it. Sometimes I wonder what people would think if they knew about this obsession. Guys probably wouldn’t be too impressed, mostly. I don’t know what most girls would think, though I can’t imagine they’d mind very much. It’s too bad there’s only so much you can say in public. “Hey there. I’m single, I’m tall and I’m thin, I’m acceptably good-looking, I speak fluent French, I’m studying to be a teacher, I’m a lot more thoughtful than most guys, and I get turned on by licking a clitoris for forty-five minutes straight. If we wind up in bed together, would you mind if I tried for even longer?” An eager, straining clitoris. It makes me smile, just thinking about it. I love everything about the clitoris. I love how a clitoris swells when aroused. I love the way a clitoris turns a dusky lavender, or maybe a bright ruby red, and I love seeing its shape nestled among wet folds. I love to watch a clitoris shyly peek its head out of the hood, and I love to see a clitoris already proudly presented, haughty and demanding attention. I love to lick along the labia and roll a woman’s nipples and watch her clitoris pulse urgently. I love to spread a woman’s cum on her labia and admire how it glistens. I love massaging that cum into her engorged clitoris, then slowly licking it off with the tip of my tongue. I like to eat a woman out until we’ve lost track of both time and orgasms, then pull back and see how her clitoris cries out for more attention, shining and throbbing with desire. I love to slowly circle my thumb over a hard clitoris and feel its firm texture among hot, soaked folds. I love to sink my penis into a woman, pumping my hard, veined flesh in and out and rubbing my thumb on her clitoris at the same time. I love to feel a pulsing clitoris in my mouth. I love to run every taste bud along the smooth, eager surface. I love to release it, then trap it again. I love to use my tongue and dance with a clitoris; sometimes a soft, slow waltz, and other times a swift, firm ballet or a frantic, eager grind. I like to gracefully pirouette around a clitoris, lift it without warning, then catch it again in my tongue’s warm, wet embrace. The clitoris enthralls and enchants me. The clitoris delights me. The clitoris is a work of art. By LePenseur for Literotica

An exploration on finding and stimulating the G-spot. By jt hammerhead. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. JT has a great message for guys who need some coaching on how to play a woman’s cunt like a concert violinist. It comes with plenty of hope from us ladies, that you will pay attention and put the knowledge into practice. Now, JT is in charge of the workshop. For the couples in the classroom, Get comfy and help each other. All we ask is that you keep the moaning down to a level where other students can still hear the guest lecturer. And now I give you JT Hammerhead. There is perhaps no greater point of contention than the G-spot. Does it exist? Is it just a myth? How does it work? What do I do with it when, or if, I find it? I'll try to address these questions, however I must admit to being a late member to the G-spot camp. Like many men in their early years, my focus wasn't always as attuned to my lover's needs as it should have been. Let's face it guys, it is pretty damn obvious when we have an orgasm. Women vary. Some can be very subtle while others act as if they are possessed. Men, as a rule, heat up faster than women. If we aren't patient, we get there before she does. To stroke our egos, many women will fake an orgasm then. Unless you know your lover well, it can be difficult to detect if she is faking. I believe I know when a woman has faked it, but I have no doubts that I have missed a few imposters along the way. There is no faking when a man cums. There is a mess everywhere! I had been sexually active for a good number of years before I became truly aware of the power of the G-spot. I'll share what I know, but I don't have the same depth of research to draw on with this topic. So where is this so called "G-spot?" Just like the clit, it can vary a bit in position from woman to woman, but generally it is on the front wall of her cunt, about 1 to 2 knuckles in. That is not to say that is the only place she gets stimulation. Our understanding of how a woman is stimulated and attains orgasm has been somewhat of a mystery. However, recent studies suggest that the clit and the G-spot, along with other tissue in the vagina, are interconnected by a system of nerves. I have had partners say they can sometimes feel stimulated on their clit when I am rubbing their G-spot, so I believe this to be correct. Those nerves run along and around the vagina. However the largest concentration by far is in the clit. If you want to be sure your woman cums, the clit is the way to go. Some women can orgasm from penetration, but the percentage is small. Those women likely have more nerves in their vagina and receive enough stimulation that way. Another reason might be that during sex, the penis is rubbing the G-spot just right and causes enough stimulation for orgasm. You might be asking if every woman has a G-spot or can cum from stimulation to her G-spot. I'm afraid I cannot answer that question. As I mentioned, my knowledge of the G-spot came later in my sexual experiences. I can say that once I started paying attention, I have found that every partner I've been with has had one. Some are more sensitive than others. I know that sounds like a broken record that every woman is different, but that can't be stressed enough. I'll repeat what I have often said. Communication and exploration are key. Talk to your partner as you explore. Let her tell you what she is feeling. If you aren't comfortable enough to have a conversation like that during sex, maybe you should rethink if you are comfortable enough to be having sex. I'm not saying a one night stand doesn't have an appeal, but even then, if you are only hooking up to fuck, shouldn't you try to make the fucking better? Just saying. We know where the G-spot is generally located. So when should we go looking for it? Great question! Just as the clit is easier to find once a woman is aroused, the same applies here, and even more so. If you put a finger inside her within a few minutes of making your move, you may not feel much difference. Likewise, neither will she. Things need to be warmed up for the search to be fruitful. The best time to look is just before an orgasm or after. The nerves are all firing, blood is rushing to the area, and everything is go for liftoff. If you are spending ample time working on her clit with your tongue, she will get worked up. If she isn't, go read my story on eating cunt. A Diplomatic Overture Once she is very aroused, and very wet, slide a finger inside her. I like to use my middle finger, because it is my "fuck you" finger. Also, it is longer and easier to reach where it needs to. If she is lying on her back, you should be holding your hand palm up. By the time your second knuckle is at the entrance to her cunt, you should be able to feel a slight difference in the feel of the front wall. However, distance and location may vary. Rotate your hand and feel the sides and back walls. They are relatively smooth and soft. Now feel the front wall again. It should feel a little rougher. Not like sandpaper for goodness sakes! This is still a cunt. The difference is subtle. Feel around to see how it changes. It might bulge a little there too. As a woman becomes aroused, this area can definitely swell a little bit. My guess is that women who orgasm from penetration swell quite a bit, making it easier for the head of her partner's cock to rub it better. I would love to hear thoughts on that from my readers. If you know she is very aroused, even perhaps after an orgasm, and you still cannot find a spot like I am describing, your partner may just be wired a little differently. It could still be there, but not obvious. Go ahead and try some of the stimulation techniques I will describe in the same general area and see if she responds. If she still doesn't, don't fret. You still have her clit to work on. Master your tongue technique and she will be very happy. Trust me. You can likely feel her pelvic bone there also. Quite often the G-spot is just behind the "ledge" of that bone. Given that you have given her time to get aroused, it is much more difficult to be too rough here than it is on her clit. That is not carte blanche to forego being careful and gentle. But you can put a lot more pressure here than you can her clit. Oh, and by the way guys, CUT YOUR FINGERNAILS!! Nothing kills the moment like a fingernail scraping the inside of her cunt. Just practice good hygiene all around, okay? What I like to do is tease my partner and use my tongue on her clit for quite a while before I start on her G-spot. It is easier to find, and it adds to her orgasm. Sometimes I will only focus on her clit and make sure she has an orgasm first before I ever slide a finger inside of her. Unlike the clit which can become very sensitive after an orgasm, the G-spot is prime for stimulation then. In fact, the G-spot is the key to multiple orgasms. I'll talk about that in a later story. For now, just remember to wait until she is close to orgasm or has just had one before you start your exploration. It will make your life easier. Your partner is ready. For the purposes of this description, let's assume she has had an orgasm. While she is just starting to recover from that, slide that middle finger inside her. Remember, palm up, assuming she is on her back while you were eating her. Get your finger good and wet by sliding it in and out a couple of times. Then on one of those slides back in, start to apply a little pressure on the front wall as you enter. Use a series of strokes to work your way along. Start off with just the tip, yes, just the tip. (Yeah, I love saying that. Sue me!) Each stroke of your finger gets a little deeper, maybe a quarter inch further each time. When you start to feel the difference, that is likely the G-spot. You can go a little further, but you shouldn't have to get your finger all the way in, unless you have tiny fingers. You may be able to feel the pelvic bone in that same area. With my current partner, I can sort of rub her G-spot against the bone. Experiment to see how much pressure she likes. The common direction for stimulating the G-spot is to use the "come here" motion of crooking the tip of your finger toward you. That is a great beginning, but it should not be your only move. Expand your bag of tricks! You can keep your finger stiff and slide it in and out of her at a slight angle forward, rubbing the spot with your finger as you do. You can also rub sideways back and forth. On some women, you will feel a ridge of tissue running parallel with your finger. That tissue usually has some good nerve spots in it. Try rubbing your finger sideways back and forth across that ridge. I like to find one motion that is working and stick with it until she orgasms. Then I can change up my technique and bring her to another. Whichever technique you use, go slow. As she gets close to an orgasm, you can speed up, but a slow rub and pressure do a lot here. Another technique is to push your finger in far enough that is passes over the G-spot, then push your finger against the front wall after it has passed that spot of rough, swollen tissue, You are sort of on the back of the G-spot now and can apply pressure and stimulation with it between your finger and the pelvic bone. It is surprising how much pressure you can apply there and it still feels good. Don't go all out at first, work up to it. Your partner might not tolerate as much. You can also try 2 fingers. When I do this, I put one on each side of that ridge of tissue I mentioned. Then I rub them sideways back and forth across that ridge. My best explanation of what it feels like is a tendon. You should be able to feel it almost jumping as you rub across it with pressure, like a guitar string if you put pressure against it and rub across. It will roll under your finger. Finally my last main technique is to push my finger as far in as I can and wiggle the tip. There seems to often be a spot even a bit further in than the G-spot that can be sensitive. However I usually save this spot for the 3rd or 4th orgasm. She needs to be pretty worked up for that one to bring her off. The orgasms she has can feel very different. My current partner will say that some feel very localized while some she can feel all through her body. Rubbing, stroking, and applying pressure on the various areas will cause different sensations. Again, explore and find out how your woman responds to them. One other approach is to do this while your partner lies on her stomach. If you are between her legs and behind her, you will rotate your hand so it is palm down. For some men, this is more comfortable. Also, the woman can straddle a pillow, a stuffed animal, or anything that rubs against her clit. It can feel good to grind against that while you are exploring her cunt and stimulating her G-spot. In either position, you may try a vibrator on her clit at the same time. Like Finger – Like Cock We have talked about using the finger to stimulate the G-spot. However you can do the same with your cock. My first true realization about the G-spot was with a woman who was very sensitive there. You could pretty much make her cum at will. In the cowgirl position, the head of my cock hit her G-spot perfectly. We found just the right angle and we lost count of how many orgasms she had. It was dozens. I don't say that to brag as I have never accomplished anything close to that before or after. She was a true exception. I will admit it made me feel like superman though! The point is, find an angle where you can rub across her G-spot with your cock as you fuck. While doggy style is fun, it can be difficult to stimulate her properly that way unless you take a pretty sharp angle down into her. That isn't always comfortable. With missionary, again depending on the angle, a pillow under her helps, you can slide against the G-spot with a little effort and practice. Cowgirl works well too. She can take a more active role in finding the angle that works for her. I have also found a position I like where the man is on his back, the woman is on top facing away, but the man's legs are on the outside of her legs and on top of them. She is almost in the doggy position. If your cock has a downward curve, this might work even better for you. Try out the different positions and concentrate on trying to hit that spot on your strokes. A good number of women have stronger orgasms through their own efforts than when having sex. Using a vibrator on her clit can bring an intense feeling. It can be difficult for a man to replicate this with either his fingers or his tongue. Here is the great news guys! While there are toys out there that supposedly stimulate the G-spot, none are as flexible and effective as your finger! To have enough rigidity to penetrate her, and also hold the electronics for the vibration if the toy has it, it loses the ability to bend and adapt. Your finger is extremely adaptable. This is an area where you can excel! Take advantage of it! You have a lot to try out. The G-spot isn't nearly as straight forward as the clit. Many women swear they don't have one. Obviously I can't know for certain, and we agree that women do vary. However I suspect that a woman who says that has just never had any luck finding it herself, nor has she had a partner that was willing to put in the work to find it. It can be elusive and may take a lot of arousal before it really wakes up. However, if you do find it, you open the gate to many more opportunities to pleasure your partner. By jthammerhead for Literotica This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.

A textbook For the Art of fellatio.By Bee cee. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex. The old world of centuries past, had a trusted process of passing on skills from one generation to the next. Apprenticeships were an effective way to learn through practice. The concept is still used in many trades, But today it also incorporates testing and demonstrations of skills acquired, in order to be certified by an oversight guild or trade association. We’re instituting this same concept of mastery, to help lovers assess their progress in the art of erotic coupling. Youthful pledges enter apprenticeships where they learn fundamental skills and benefit from supervised practice. When they show consistent aptitude of the fundamentals, The guild certifies them as journeymen. They continue to develop their artistry, until they attain the level of Master, where they are trusted to properly mentor others. Only the most highly talented and very experienced, will ever be regarded as a grandmaster. The Apprentice Many women have only a basic idea of how to give a man a good blow job. Most seem to think that by closing their mouth around a man’s cock and bobbing their head lustily up and down as fast as they can until he shoots his load constitutes a good blow job. This is true to a point and all well and good for a quick blow job in the car or under the office desk when time is limited. If you want to bring him off quickly then this is an extremely satisfying way, but what does the man's cock really want? You should preferably pick a time when you will not be disturbed in a reasonably lit area so that both you and he can see what's going on. Overcome any shyness that you may have and let him see his cock disappear deep inside your mouth, observe and make a mental note of the responses from his cock and indeed the look of pleasure on his face that your tongue and lips are providing are the first steps to master. For a typical guy, your lips around his ‘family jewels’ is the greatest visual expression of love & devotion. It dramatically impacts his arousal, emotionally, even more than physical. Pull his foreskin down to reveal his corona and run the tip of your tongue around the base of it. Close your mouth onto his cock and flick the underside of his corona with your tongue. Talk to him, tell him his cock is wonderful and that you are not going to stop until he cums in your mouth. Always stay in control and don't ask which part he likes best, find that out for yourself. Keep your tongue, mouth and hands active. Cup his balls and gently scratch with your finger nails the area between his anus and balls. If you are wary of the amount of cum he will produce, just as he is about to erupt, place your thumb and forefinger at the base of his cock and gently squeeze to restrict the flow. The amount of cum a man produces is a good indication of how much he has enjoyed what you have done for him. Most men who have been stimulated in this way will produce copious amounts. Slow down and relax are the golden rules. Every woman should also be aware of the most sensitive and sensual moment that a man's cock experiences. Most mornings, men wake up with a hard on, referred to generally as piss proud. This moment is about two or three minutes after he has relieved himself; and is the ideal time to give him a sensual blow job. What position should you be in? Because of the structure of his cock, as well as the structure of your mouth, lips, tongue and teeth, you can provide the highest degree of sensation for yourself and your partner by kneeling between his legs with him either sat down or standing up and with your head tipped slightly back, approaching his cock from the bottom rather than from the side or top. This will enable you to read the expressions on his face and observe how his cock is reacting to your stimulation. Alternatively, lie on your back on the bed and position yourself so that your back is on a pillow or two, but your head is just beyond the pillow. Let your head drop to the mattress so you are able to take him deep. Relax and make yourself as comfortable as possible and open your mouth ready to accept him. He should approach you on his knees from above; and as soon as you have his cock in your mouth, take control of the situation by placing both of your hands on his buttocks. This will allow you to guide him in and out at your own pace and to stop him thrusting and gagging you. His ball sack will likely straddle the bridge of your nose, so close your eyes and concentrate, as you direct his hips with your hands. Types of Blow Jobs There are three types: · The Quickie, which we just outlined; for when there is not much time e.g. in the shop doorway on your way home from the pub, in the car or even in aunt Mabel's living room when she is making the tea. · Pure sensual oral love making when you really want to do something special and you have plenty of time. We’re about to discuss that art, in great detail. · Deep Throat which needs plenty of practice to be able to accommodate his cock fully down your throat and past your tonsils without choking you, discussed last in this episode. Plan on improving your skills and expressions every new lovemaking event. If you’re perfect in your execution on the very first time, we probably don’t believe you. If your performance is awkward and disrupted by clumsiness, just know that you’ll only get better as you apply yourself. Your man is more impressed by your devotion to his pleasure, than your prowess. Take Initiative The ‘journeywoman’ Lead him in to the bedroom, telling him that you have a very special surprise for him and that it will be something he will always remember. You will most probably have given your man a number of blow jobs before and will be quite comfortable to take his cum in your mouth and swallow it. Also, know exactly which point of your stimulation brings him to his point of no return. Sit on the edge of the bed with him and reach over for a couple of pillows. Push him down on to his back and place the pillows under his head making sure that his head is tipped slightly forward so that he can observe everything you are doing. Remove his trousers and underwear. Part his legs and approach his cock from below, with your mouth slightly open and your tongue licking your top and bottom lips until they are really wet. Tell him that he is about to receive the best blow job of his life, and that he should just relax and let you take control of the situation. He should already have at least a semi hard-on, at this stage; so take his cock in your hand and very slowly start to stroke him. Bring your wet lips close to his cock and do full, long, slow hand strokes, so that the corona, or head; is extended. Don't be shy. Encourage him to watch you loving on his cock! Any man loves to see his cock disappear deep into a woman's mouth. This will be one of the most erotic scenes either of you will ever experience. Occasionally, pause the downward stroke long enough to give the corona a long lick with your wet tongue. Look up to see the response on his face each time your tongue touches different parts of his cock and let him see that you are wanting him to enjoy every minute of it. Close your eyes down to a slit and make erotic facial gestures. No man can stay soft under these circumstances, especially in anticipation of what you have made clear that you are going to do for him next. Anticipation and teasing are all part of giving tremendous oral sex; but don't spend too much time in this area or his cock may stop responding and could even go limp on you. Once you have started to wank and lick his cock, it will obviously become very hard and swollen. Gaze into his eyes lovingly and open your mouth fairly wide, then slowly take his cock as deep into your mouth as possible. Hold this moment for as long as you feel is right then very slowly pull back until his cock is just at the tip of your lips. Pull down gently on his foreskin as far as you can to reveal his corona. Gently lick under and around the rim of his corona, you will see by the expression on his face how much pleasure he is receiving from you. Close your mouth onto his cock again keeping his foreskin pulled down with one hand and slowly feed it as deep into your mouth as possible, again slowly pull back off repeating this action several times. After a self determined number of "sucks", pull off and lick his cock up, down and around to see which option gives him the most pleasure. Let the tip of your tongue softly caress his "opening, at the very tip. This is heavenly for most men. Talk to him and tell him what a lovely cock he has and that you will not stop until he has cum in your mouth. With all this sucking and licking, his cock must be ready to explode by now. You will certainly feel it pulsing and twitching, (and surely him groaning with pleasure). He will probably tell you amid his groans of pleasure; that he is ready to cum but you should already have a good idea anyway. He may instinctively try to push his cock further down your throat than you are comfortable with. To keep the situation fully under your control, move both your hands up to his hands and place them on to his stomach, hold them there while you carry on sucking him at your own slow pace. Now is the time to give your man the greatest pleasure of all, to take his cum in your mouth. Keep his cock as deep into your mouth as you can, tilt your head back slightly and make eye contact whilst sucking nodding back and forth ever so slowly, your tongue swallowing or rubbing on the under side of his glans. until you feel his climax ripple through his body and up through his cock. Just as his cum is about to erupt, hold your mouth and lips still, maintain eye contact and let him sense and feel his cum spraying inside your mouth. Swallow as much as you can. Let him feel you swallowing it, but don't release the grip of your lips from his cock just yet. Once his orgasm has subsided, let go of his hands and bring one of your hands round to the base of his cock and squeeze it gently between your thumb and fore finger in an upward motion (slightly wanking it into your mouth). This will force most of the remaining cum up and out of his cock. When his cock has stopped pulsating in ecstasy; and he has relaxed, pull back very slowly making sure that his foreskin is still pulled down, then gently lick and suck any remaining cum into your mouth. Place your thumb and forefinger at the base of his cock as before, gently squeeze and with an upward motion, milk his cock for any remaining cum, this will usually produce a small amount which you can dip your tongue into and swirl it around the head of his cock. Let him see his cum on your tongue and in your mouth before you take his cock back into your mouth for a further self determined number of deep sucks. This is the ultimate in sexual dreams that a man can have (at least until the next time); so make your man’s dreams come true. Sensual Fellatio Arts The mistress Experience and practice are the only requirements needed to give a sensual blow job and provide a man with the highest degree of pleasure possible. Try some variety. If the two of you are enjoying a movie night at home, You might want to take initiative on the sofa. Get your man to sit on the edge of the sofa with his legs apart and Kneel in front of him. If he’s more interested in the tv screen than you are, Just tell him to unbuckle and slide out of the pants, and shorts; so you can visit his manhood for a while. With your mouth fairly close and partly open, wank his cock ever so slowly, occasionally rubbing your thumb over the head. Look into his eyes. Tease him by licking your lips (a wet warm mouth is very erotic). It won't be long before you have a raging hard on in your hand; so turn your attention to a different area to take his mind off cumming too soon. Cup his balls gently with your free hand and let your fingers explore the underside scratching lightly with your fingernails and paying particular attention to the area just before his anus. Gently pull down his foreskin to expose the full head of his cock. Close your mouth around the head and tease it with your tongue, still looking into his eyes and observing any reactions. Using your tongue, lick softly along the entire underside of his now throbbing cock. As you suck and lick; you will learn those areas that give him the greatest pleasure when your tongue is touching them. Are you paying attention to his signals? He should by now have provided you with several clues as to which areas are most pleasurable to him. The most sensitive area for most men will be the ring (or corona) of the head. The underside of the cock head, called the glans penis By continued licking and sucking around this area with your tongue you are going to bring forth a geyser. If you are not skilled and you want to please him in a hurry I suggest that you get him off in this manner in order to become familiar at first hand with the nature and delight of his climax. As he is approaching climax you will note changes in his cock. These signs will be the same every time he climaxes and you can learn how to react and prepare for his cum properly. The head of his cock will swell somewhat larger than it is during the normal course of his erection. He may reflexively thrust his hips forward as he tries to shove his cock deeper into your mouth. For most men, immediately prior to his cum, there will appear at the tip of his cock a clear drop or two of pre-cum. This isn’t urine. It’s not gross. When you see or taste his pre-cum you will know that he is ready to shoot his load. By now you will have a very swollen throbbing cock in your mouth and will feel and sense the urgency in which he needs to shoot his load. His cock is probably deep red, or maybe slightly purple. His cock and his whole body is now quivering and you can feel his cum emptying from his balls, up the length of his cock and spurting uncontrollably into your hot wet mouth. His balls will constrict up tightly against the base of his cock when his cum starts to flow. Don't let him rush you. Take as much of his cock into your mouth as you can, and suck him up and down slowly keeping your lips fairly tight round his cock. Try to make eye contact just before he cums and let him see that you are enjoying this moment as much as he is. He’ll never forget this moment of devotion. A natural reaction at the point of ejaculation is to suck harder and faster, don't! Just carry on slowly and when you feel the first spurt, almost stop, gazing into his eyes and let his cock as deep into your wrapped mouth as you can and hold still. Use your flat tongue to stroke under his shaft as your tight lips hold him wrapped in an oral hug. Tilt your head slightly back so that he can see his raging cock buried deep in your mouth. Breathe only through your nostrils during this precious event. Now just hold still and gently suck, let his cum flow over your tongue and down your throat. You can swallow most of his cum directly at this stage without releasing the grip of your lips. His cock will spasm several times during orgasm and each spasm will produce a fair amount of cum. The amount of cum your man produces is a general guide as to how much you have pleased him. When his cock stops pumping, pull back very slowly, to wring out his spent cock; then take the head back into your mouth and gently suck the remaining cum into your mouth. Carry on licking gently around the head and occasionally, close your wet mouth over it until he stops spasming and jerking. He will love the sensuality of your mouth caressing his cock, extending his orgasmic bliss for as long as possible. This bliss only lasts about half a minute, for a guy. Females’ orgasms can last a good bit longer. So let his fully enjoy each precious second. Becoming His Fellatio Artist The Grandmistress By understanding your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that will allow you to take the full length of your man’s hard cock into your mouth and all the way down your throat without choking you. The biggest obstacle is the fact that there is a bend of almost eighty degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat. So the first thing you need to do is get his cock past that angle without you gasping for breath and ruining the moment. A relaxed and well-lubricated throat is essential. Warm sweet tea is a good thing to have sitting at the nightstand before you begin. Take a long drink before you get into position. Now get in a position where you can tilt your head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line. The best way to accomplish this position is to lie on your back on the bed with your head positioned just over the edge of a pillow, cushion, or mattress; and tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth and throat nearly in a line and will allow him to approach on his knees giving you full control over how much of his cock you can take. You can then gently guide him in and out of your mouth at your own pace by grasping his buttocks and pulling & pushing him. Keep a firm grip on his cock with your lips and keep your tongue as straight as possible. It is possible that not everyone will learn the "Deep Throat" technique until several sessions have been completed but this should not stop you from practicing. You must learn to allow your throat to relax completely and breathe through your nose instead of your mouth. Pull his cock as deep into your throat as you comfortably can. To do this long enough for him to completely orgasm and cum down your throat is very difficult and may require practice beyond this one day alone. It may be that you will be able to take his cock completely down your throat, but you will not be able to maintain a good grip with your mouth. If this is the situation, then pull, push and suck as deeply as you can until he is just about to erupt. As his cum starts to pump in to your mouth, pull him past your tonsils and hold him still for as long as you can. Next time you will know precisely what to expect and how to react. It is important for the first few times at least that you let him know that you must be in complete control of his cock in this situation because only you know how much you can comfortably take. After several sessions on your deep throat skills; you will learn to relax and will feel more comfortable each time. You will know precisely when he is about to cum; and how much of his cock you can take. If you are feeling comfortable at this point, let him fuck your mouth at his own pace. It is possible to take a full 10 inch cock all the way past your tonsils and deep into your throat. His thickness is the biggest challenge, not his length. You can feel his foreskin peel back as it eases past the back of your throat just as it does when he first enters your cunt. As he fucks your throat, he will not be able to or want to hold back for very long. The pure sensation of his foreskin pulling back and forth deep inside your throat will bring forth an enormous amount of cum. Another technique, which is not really deep throating but will still give him the same sensation is to clench your hand around his cock as near to the base as possible; and as you go down on him with your mouth, pull slightly downwards. And on the way up, pull slightly upwards pulling his foreskin back and forth over the corona. Keep your clenched hand close to your mouth and this will feel to him like his whole cock is engorged; and again will produce copious amounts of cum. As mentioned before, the amount of cum a man produces is a direct result of how much pleasure you have given him. Feel free to follow all or some of these exercises, and maybe make your own alterations & improvements along the way. If the man has any sense of gratitude, he’ll already be yanking your panties down and eating you out with a passion. Let him! This is a perfect redirect, while his cock recovers for another round of fucking, but the finale will be his cock visiting the depth of your very wet cunt. And his 2nd serving of spunk only erupts after a longer, more sensual time of deep fucking. By Bee cee for Literotica.

Why she loves to pleasure his cock, and how she does it. By AnaLeePleasured. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. I have always found it odd that there are women out there who do not enjoy giving a man a blow-job, especially if it is the man they love, or are in love with. Personally I just cannot imagine anything nicer than the experience of sucking a beautiful hard, or soft cock and knowing that my efforts are being enjoyed. I believe it is an honor and a privilege to be allowed to pleasure a man in this way. I have always wanted to explain why I love it so much and how I feel when I do it and what the experience gives me. That is what I will attempt to do now. I hope that someone out there enjoys reading about how wonderful cock sucking is from one woman’s perspective, and hopefully somehow, a few of those women out there who see it as a “chore” can be converted into developing a new attitude to pleasuring their man. My first time that I went down on a man was after a late, or rather, early night of partying hard on the dance floor of a local nightclub when I was just eighteen. He was thirty-seven and we had been getting hot and close all night and into the morning. Others on the dance floor were telling us to “get a room”, and we finally listened to them. So off we went to his place for the rest of the ‘night’. We both had a shower and went to bed but sleep was the last thing on our minds. So we kissed and I finally got close enough to see what I had been brushing up against all night. His cock was long and hard and I ached to touch it. I didn’t ask, just reached out and felt it, running my hand up and down the shaft,  Soon I was masturbating him with both hands and getting more and more excited by his groans of pleasure. I don’t know why, but I just sort of took control of the situation because he was enjoying himself so much and seemed happy by what I was doing. So I kissed a trail down his strong lean stomach till my mouth found its target. He was so surprised when my mouth engulfed his cock. He couldn’t seem to believe that I had just gone straight down on him without a word of encouragement from him. He seemed almost alarmed that I had wanted to suck his cock. For me it was the most natural thing in the world. I had never done it before and I had never even seen porn at that stage in my life. I just knew I wanted to taste, to use all the senses that I possessed. But then, that is just how I am, I believe in getting the most out of a beautiful experience, making meaningful memories that last long after the act. That is what I am all about. So that was my first experience of sucking a cock and when I think about it now, what I loved most of all about it, was the way he enjoyed what I did. He encouraged me every step of the way with moans and groans, saying “YES” when I sucked his balls or gently stroked them with my hands while sucking his cock. Then afterwards, he had looked at me in amazement and awe, admitting that he had never been so masterfully handled before and wondering where I had learned to do it so well. He also told me that no woman had seemed to really enjoy sucking his cock before and that it usually seemed as if a woman did it as a “favor” or saw it as a “chore”, needing to be asked to do it. He said he couldn’t believe I had done it voluntarily. What he said had made me wonder why anyone faced with such a lovely cock would need to be asked to suck it, I just couldn’t understand it. From that first experience I learned so much about men and what they like and I also learned about myself and what I like too. For me there is no greater compliment than having a man’s erect cock pointing straight at me, I see it like a child sees candy, it just begs to be tasted and sucked. It is my reward for being a good girl, I get to have the lollipop. When we are young our parents teach us that there is more joy in giving, than receiving and as we grow older, many of us stop thinking that way and start to want more and more and give less and less. That is such a shame because life should be more about giving and enjoying the shared pleasures that creates. It is not a nice feeling when we give someone a present and then realize that it is not actually something that they need or want. But most women quickly recognize that sucking their man’s cock is one of the greatest presents you can give him, and sadly, many women use this as a blackmailing tool, manipulating their men into giving them something or doing something for them or forgiving them after a fight. This really makes me angry and my heart goes out to those men who are being used in such ways. What do I love about sucking a juicy cock? Well, this is something that cannot be said in a sentence or two, I need to write a whole fucking story about it! For me it is an honor, as mentioned before. Here is a man, a beautiful man with a nice juicy cock all ready to be used by you. Just the thought that someone WANTS me to pleasure him, that is the first thing that excites me beyond belief! Without that WANT, I might as well be sitting back watching television. I love the visual aspect of a cock disappearing into a willing mouth, and sometimes I envy the man because he gets to look down at his cock moving in and out between loving lips of a wanting woman. So, because I cannot see it from where I am, up close to all the action, I imagine how it must look to the man I am sucking, seeing it from his point of view. That turns me on BIGTIME!! I love when a man tells his woman to “look up” at him while she sucks him, and I imagine that sight from his perspective. Eye contact is so important for me during sex. Eyes are windows to the soul, so to look into them means to see more than just a cock, or a man, or a woman, but instead to see right through to what makes them who they are. That is something I find incredibly attractive when I am in love. I want to see inside the man, which allows me access to even his deepest, darkest secrets and desires. When I look up into a man’s eyes as I suck his cock, my heart beats even faster and harder, making me hornier and wetter. To see a man’s eyes reflecting the emotions he is feeling, the amazing sight he is seeing, the sensations he is experiencing, THAT stays with me and affects my every thought of him from that moment on. I also love seeing a cock all shiny and wet with my saliva from sucking him and spitting on him. It is a turn-on for both my man and me when my mouth pulls back from sucking and there is a long rope of drool connecting my mouth with his cock. It is all part of getting 'down and dirty’ during an intense sexual experience. The visual aspect itself is fantastic, but that is expanded even more when you add the mental stimulation. The fact that a woman will play for hours with a man’s cock and drool all over it and enjoy seeing all that wetness and get turned on by it, that is what pleases a man and when he is pleased, that in turn pleases me too. I have often made reference to my sense of smell when engaging in close contact with another. How a man smells all over and especially when you get close to his cock, can mean the difference between a woman feeling like she is in heaven, or in bed with the toilet brush. That may sound cruel but I can understand why some women are turned off by a man who is not clean or healthy. An unhealthy man who does not eat the right foods or drink plenty of water can smell less than nice and this affects the mood and the taste of his cock and also the taste and smell of his cum. I love the clean, fresh smell of a healthy man who takes great pride in his body. This also makes me want to worship his body as I would like mine worshiped. I even love the smell of a healthy man’s sweat. This kind of sweat is even a turn-on for me after he has been exercising and while he works out with me. My mouth waters when I kiss the head of a man’s cock. I feel the anticipation of what he will taste like and slowly I let my tongue lick over his head and gently into the eye, marveling at the fact that this is the source of so much, most importantly, the giver of human life. Right there at the tip of his manhood is the place where such important bodily fluids are excreted. My knees go weak when I think about this place I am licking, allowing myself to love all that this sacred tool is used for. I love using my tongue to trace a line of saliva around the rim of his mushroom head and allow it to pop in and out of my mouth. This gets me really worked up as it is very sexual. I love to look up right then and see him close his eyes in pleasure at the friction that is created with this movement. I love to hear the sounds of his rapid breathing and the deep rumbling timbre of his lustful groans. I love the excited thrusting motions as he tilts his hips to meet my hungry mouth. Allowing the rhythm to take a hold of me and escalate, is something so exciting. Hands are so important during all forms of sex as they are what 'speaks’ when there are no words. My favorite is kissing him while working my saliva covered hands up and down his slick shaft, being sure to stimulate the sensitive parts around the rim of his head. I enjoy pulling my head back a little so I can just look into his eyes while masturbating him and telling him how much I love him and what I am doing to him. There is so much you can do with your hands during a blow-job, an endless list of techniques which stimulate him in different ways, like rotating two hands around him or stroking his balls at the same time, or just using two fingers, thumb and second finger in the shape of an O, just rapidly over his head. I love the sense of power that I have when I hold my man’s cock in my mouth or hands. At that moment and for the next hour or two, I am in control of what happens, and I am responsible for him having the most sensational, meaningful experience possible. I want it to be mind-blowing for him and not over and done with in an instant. I want to take him to the edge as many times as possible, stopping every time he is about to cum. I want him to experience orgasms of the mind and body, sometimes cumming only a little bit (if he is capable of that, not all men can do it) and then at the end, allowing him to shoot hot ribbons of cum as far as he can, or all over me. The first time I tried to swallow a man’s cum I was only eighteen years old and I did not like the taste. It was like horrible warm soup to me and I had to spit it out, almost vomiting in the process. For some women it is like that every time and they never get used to the taste and smell. But for me, the greater my love for the man, the greater my fascination with his cum. Now I love to smell it and lick the little droplets of pre-cum off the tip of his cock. I love the feeling of accepting his 'offering’ to me like a reward for my efforts when he finally cums. I have learned that a man is very proud of his cock and what cums out of it. For him to see a woman enjoying his cock and his cum, makes him feel emotions that are almost too hard to put into words. When I saw my fist porno I watched in horror as the man came all over the woman’s face and tits as well as into her mouth. I couldn’t believe she was actually enjoying that! Now I beg for cum. I love the fact that it is such a turn-on for a man to see his cum all over a woman as she smiles and licks it off. Once again, I put the shoe on the other foot and see it from his point of view. How AMAZING must it be to look down on a woman on her knees as long ribbons of cum spurt out of your cock and land all over her lovely face? There are so many things you can do when you have a man’s cock in your mouth. When I first watched porn, I would skip over the part where the woman was sucking him because I had no real concept of what went on during that time, the cameral didn’t go into her mouth. But now I know how much actually goes on in there. You can tell from the sounds a man is making what is happening to his cock. I like to flick the tip of my tongue over the eye of a man’s cock and especially work up a rhythm around the sensitive dent where the rim meets on the underside of his cock, all the while still sucking him and moving his cock in and out of my mouth. This can only be felt by my man and me but not seen by anyone watching.   Another discovery which was so exciting for me was the concept of 'deep throating’. I never realized that it was possible to take a man’s cock down deep into my throat. I thought that when it slid into my mouth and stopped, that was it, that was as far as it could go. When I found out that a cock can actually move past that stopping point and slide down my throat I was so amazed. It is hard work, especially with a thick cock but the look on his face, pure joy, and the sounds of raw ecstasy in his voice as he realizes what you are doing for him, that is worth any discomfort. I have enjoyed this form of giving and have made it a point to 'practice’ as often as I can so I get used to relaxing my throat to ward off my 'gagging reflex’. This is where I like to use my various different sized dildos. There are still two more senses I have not gone into in any great depth. Those are the sounds and the feel or more importantly, the feelings. I find the sounds that sucking on a cock makes, exciting and dirty in an animal-like way. The squelching sounds of hands covered in saliva, rubbing over a dripping cock, fucking awesome! It all adds to the experience in a positive way, heightening sexual pleasure for both the man and the woman. I always say to men that if they want to know how the head of a cock feels in your mouth, then take a boiled egg and peel it. Pop it into your mouth and lick it, and that is what it feels like. It is so smooth and velvety and delicate, so sweet and succulent. I love textures, materials that are smooth or ribbed, silky or course. The feel of a man’s hairy strong arm against my smooth bald pussy, this all adds to the excitement and sensation so that feeling of touching his cock and balls to me is like an 'all you can eat buffet’ is to a starving man. I know that I have only touched the surface of what can be done, and what can be felt when going down on a man or 'giving head’, but I am not a very technical type of person so I can only try to describe how it feels to me. My greatest fantasy is to have a naked man on my bed and to have the next few hours or days or weeks to just do everything I have always dreamed of doing to and for him. For me it all begins and ends with the mind. First you must have the thought and then you put it into action. But at the end you must be able to reflect on what you did and communicate with your partner. This way you learn from each experience and find ways of improving each time. There is an endless world of different sexual experiences to be had so there are no excuses for doing the same thing, the same way, every time. So women who just suck their man’s cock for a few minutes as foreplay should re-examine what they are giving. You don’t cook the same dish, the same way, every day, so why not shake things up a bit? I believe that women who have a sexy male in their life, should worship his cock. By  Ana Lee Pleasured for Literotica, from How-To Sex Podcast

How to train a man to love cunnilingus. By cd prosper ot. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. A lot of women love to have their pussy licked as much as or even more than having a cock fill their cunt. And if you have a man who loves to go downtown every chance he can get, great! But what do you do if your man either won’t do it, won’t do it right or long enough or if he treats pussy-licking as something obligatory and a mere prelude to sticking his cock up your twat? Well, don’t just complain. Here’s some advice about what you can do to get your man to adore eating you for as long as you can stand! First of all, 1: Initiate Sex Are you horny? Do you want his cock, his finger, his ass or especially his tongue: then let him know it! A lot of women, even if they’re dripping wet and desperate to be sucked and fucked into oblivion, will wait for their man to initiate sex. Chances are that when that happens, a man is going to have his own agenda. But, why not start out with your agenda, instead of his? So what if you’re shy! Get over it! We know that women have moments when you want and even need sex. So tell him when that happens! If you’re in a relationship, what on earth is the point of hiding your sexual needs? Is it some kind of weird power trip: if he knows you need sex, you can’t ration it? That might have worked in the fifties, but surely we’re way past that now. Besides, nothing will turn him on faster more than knowing that you want sex. So tell him! But how? Words are best: nothing like an e-mail or a quick phone call to his office, provided it’s private, if you need that; and a “Honey: I can’t wait till you get home. My panties are sopping wet.” Or “I’m so horny and my vibrator isn’t doing it for me; I need you!” You can bet that he’s going to blow off or rush through whatever overtime might have been in the offing (if he is the type who stays at work when he has a horny chick to come home to, what on earth are you doing with him in the first place?). If you’re reluctant to be that explicit you can always use all the tried and true chick ‘come hither’numbers. That’s Okay. But if your man is tired or depressed, he can miss the non-verbal cues, or worse, ignore them. Ignoring a verbal invitation is not an option for most men: 99 times out of a hundred he’s going to accept, no matter how tired or down he is. One final suggestion: a pre-arranged signal. One couple has a bride and groom from a wedding cake. When either one wants sex, they put it out where the other can see it: yes, it’s really hokey, but it works. So, why is so important for you to initiate sex? Because you score big, big points with your man just by initiating: men hate, let me repeat that, men hate the burden of always having to initiate sex because unless you’re hooking up with a nymphomaniac (whom most of us have never met, let alone screwed), initiating sex involves a certain probability (often quite a high probability) of rejection and attendant humiliation. When you initiate you instantly get your man’s gratitude, and cooperation. And if he doesn’t like to dive into your muff and polish your pearl, you will need some of that cooperation. So initiate already. All right, you have your man racing to get into your panties. Now what? 2: Tell him, yes, tell him in clear words, what you want. Now, I gave you, reluctantly; non-verbal alternatives to initiate sex. But there’s no way around this one, you have to say exactly what you want: “Honey, could you go down on me.” “Honey, I need your tongue,” The more explicit and urgent the better: “Lick me!” “Eat me!” “Suck my pussy!” Especially, if you’re somewhat prudish or restrained, the more graphic and desperate your language, the more you will turn your man on and, maybe get his head between your legs, fast. Be sure to use a pleasant and delighted voice. And it’s all about how you frame the issue. Never tell him what he’s failing at. Tell him what you need more of. When you tell him what he failed, he feels rejected and his confidence is crushed. That’s never a good thing for healthy coupling. But when you share your need, you allow him to be a hero and rush to your cause. It makes him feel needed, desired, and special. You can add that if you were more ravished in this manner ‘God knows what you might do for him?’ Or how much more often you’d be shagging him. But if you can’t keep a patient and encouraging tone, plan another time to work on this improvement to your lovemaking. You don’t want to risk him despising cunnilingus, just because you were rude of insulting to him. But what do you do if your man refuses or expresses reluctance? Amazingly, there are some guys who are grossed out by the thought of connecting their mouth to their woman’s pussy. If he refuses or if all you can get is a quick kiss on the twat you’ll have to settle for that, temporarily. Okay, let him do his thing and start your campaign. 3: Your campaign begins with talking. Yes, you heard it right, talk to your man. Personally, I am thrilled to talk to my partner about sex: it’s so much more exciting and much closer to my heart than talking about kids or chores: but then I have an unbelievably open and understanding spouse. And, as a bonus, it’s often a huge turn-on to talk about sex, especially in public (discreetly or undiscreetly depending on how much of an exhibitionist you are). Now I know that there are a lot of men, and women, who are too uptight or scared to talk openly to their partners about their love life. But I don’t care if you have to go to a sex therapist to get a conversation going. If you’re going to have a sexual relationship that lasts more than a few weeks, you need to be able to talk about sex with him. And the odds are overwhelming that he’s not going to initiate that discussion. So first, accept the necessity of talking and second, figure out how to initiate it. Once you have a conversation going, it’s important to be gentle and supportive but also to let him know how you feel, what you like and what you want from him. Above all, avoid any hint of criticism or anger. Let him know you appreciate his willingness to be open and to meet your sexual needs. First, remind him that it’s not unhygienic to kiss your cunny: your bush is actually cleaner and more sanitary than his mouth (why else did God invent Listerine?). And reassure him that before you’ll ask him to head south, you’ll make sure you’re really clean down there. Please note that some men actually prefer that you not be overzealous about scrubbing your cunny, especially if you’ve been horny and wet all day; but that’s another subject. Second, let him know that if the two of you are going to continue to have sex, then you want oral sex to be a part of it. Also, you’re willing to take it slow and let him get acclimated; and finally, you don’t want to expect to cum every single time he goes down on you, that he has the right to stop if he’s tired and that you don’t want him to carry on heroically to get you to cum when his jaw is falling off. It’s way better to express your needs and wants directly than to abandon or suppress them or even worse fight him passively aggressively. Once you stated your position, it also helps if you let him know that you’ll be patient and help him get through the awkwardness and that you appreciate his willingness and his commitment to satisfying you. And there are plenty of books and how-to articles, and yes, videos. You can use them all, to help initiate him into the ancient art of satisfying his woman with his tongue. You could start with some excellent pieces on cunnilingus in this “How To” section. Let him know, that you’re willing to reciprocate. He’ll be on really shaky ground if he likes having you suck his cock but he won’t lick your pussy! Finally, you need to talk about is what turns you on sexually. If something has worked and he’s done it right, let him know it, verbally, non-verbally, anyway at all. Just make it obvious that he’s had an effect. Don’t fake it or exaggerate too much. But do let him know what gets your juices flowing. About Pussy Juice. Speaking of juices, there’s no way to avoid having him deal with your nectar. Pussy juice is the elexir of life, the yummiest, most delicious, most aphrodisical liquid in the universe, better than chocolate, can you imagine? If your man is not one of that opinion, and he’d better have a lot else going for him if he isn’t, then you will have to initiate him into one of the principal joys of oral sex. My experience is that most women have at least some and maybe a lot of anxiety about how you taste and smell down there. And there are some times when your cunny might not taste or smell great. Start by finding out yourself. That means, to put it bluntly, you need to taste and smell your pussy more than once. If you’re not comfortable doing that, how can you expect your man to be? Fresh & Clean I think most men are probably turned off by the smell of urine and execrement and the thought of swishing those in our mouths (not to mention your monthly flow). So try to eliminate those, but, please don’t try to cover up with scented soaps or deodorants. I’m sorry, but even those who are not as totally nuts about pussy juice as, do not want to be sniffing, or worse, tasting; scented fruit soap or perfume in your nether regions. The idea here is to get your man to want the taste and smell of your cunt, not the latest Proctor and Gamble product, or lint, or bits of toilet tissue. Once you know that there are no obnoxious experiences for him down below, then you need to start stage two of your campaign. 4. The Campaign, Stage Two: Practising Kissing, Licking and Sucking. Okay, enough about talking and testing, let’s get back to sex! The best way to get your man started on the road to great cunnilingus, it to draw the connection in his mind between kissing and oral sex. Now that may be obvious to you, but, trust me, it’s not obvious to a lot of men. A great many women complain that their partners are not into kissing, don’t seem to enjoy it and don’t do it very well. You can change that; yes, you can. Start by assessing your own kissing skills: are you completely passive, waiting for the man to plant the lip lock on you? Do you swoop in and peck at your partner with wild abandon? Neither one of those approaches is going to convince your man that kissing is a rewarding part of sex to be enjoyed its own right and not just as a necessary means to get his wiener into your bun. The first time I understood the mind-blowing potential of a kiss was a few years ago after an obligatory lunch at a rooftop hotel dining room with a friend whom I had and have absolutely no desire to bed. I’m happily married and I want it to stay that way. As we took the elevator, I was given the most seductive, the most tender, the most erotic kiss, ever!. Now, I’ve kissed a lot of lovers (the order of magnitude will remain hazy in the interests of preserving my marriage). But that kiss was a revelation. It was an invitation, words fail me. Can you kiss like that? If not, start practicing. This is something that you and your women friends can definitely discuss, and maybe even practice. And then take the initiative. Show your man what soft, tender, lengthy kisses can be like. If you blow his mind, you’ll be on your way to having him blow your twat! Once you have him started understanding and enjoying kissing, then get him into kissing, sucking and licking your tits as an activity that is pleasurable in itself rather than just as a prelude to intercourse. If you don’t like having him play with your tits, then just skip this section. Very few women actively encourage their partners to suck and lick their tits, and that’s what you need to do. Take your breast and actually rub it on his face. Play with your nipple on his lips. Moan appreciatively when something he does turns you on. Above all, tell him what works, what does turn you on and gently guide him: “softer,” or “harder”, “bite me gently!” “yes, keep going!”. As long as what he’s doing is even mildly pleasurable for you, keep him at it for as long as you can! This is training, and you want him well trained when you send him south! He needs to find out how to use his mouth and lips tenderly, how to prolong the pleasure, how to keep you on the edge. Every moment spent giving your tits pleasure is great preparation for him making love to your cunt and great training for you in communicating what turns you. So don’t be in a hurry to send him down to the engine room before of you are properly trained and ready to perform your respective tasks! When you, are ready, then you can give him permission to move further south. Not all the way just yet; he has more practicing to do. This is where you learn to tell him what to do, and make it whatever might turn you on. What you have him do is strictly up to you, but at this stage keep it relatively short. He could kiss your stomach, lick your thighs, roll his face on your mound; just as long as he keeps his face and his hands out of your crotch until you give the word. If what he does isn’t doing anything for you, cut it short and get his face into your pussy. An Aside on Shaving I’m totally with Sophia Jane (“A Girl’s Guide to Getting Head”) in the camp of do whatever is comfortable for you. If you don’t mind shaving and you like the way it feels and looks, go for it! If shaving makes you itchy but you don’t want a full bush, trim away. If you don’t want to be bothered with shaving or trimming, by all means flaunt your beaver! The point is that you need to be comfortable with how your pussy looks and feels, and when you’re comfortable, it’s easier for your man to be comfortable with your pussy too. And don’t be defensive about your choice. Either way has its rewards for your man. Yes, many appreciate the incredibly soft and delicate feel of a shaved pussy. Feeling a woman’s soft swollen labia is any unbelieveably thrilling part of oral sex! And it’s a definite turn on to be able to see a pair of engorged cunt lips or a hungry aroused clit emerging from its hood and begging to be sucked. But it’s also great for your guy to feel a sopping wet bushy beaver desperately thrashing against his face. And a hairy cunt definitely seems to give off more delectable pussy smell! So, both shaved and full bush or anything in between, has its joys for the male tribe. It’s your choice: experiment and go with what feels right for you, and if you want to change it, change it! 5. The Campaign: Stage 3: Okay, his face is between your thighs. What now? I know you may feel incredibly vulnerable in this position. But you need to remind yourself that you are the boss. If you man is inexperienced or repulsed by oral sex, you need to take charge and tell him what to do: namely, whatever he pleases you. Start by keeping it slow and simple. The first thing both he and you need to learn is how he can tease you. So have him experiment and tell him what works. You might have him stay away from your clit at first, and lick and kiss delicately around your outer lips, your mound and your perineum. Some women like to have their man take their whole cunt into their mouth; for others, that does absolutely nothing. Some woman adore having their man tongue-fuck their cunt hole. For others, it’s an annoyance. You need to tell him what’s working, what starts the juices flowing for you. And you and your man need to keep reminding yourselves to take your time, take it slow and not rush towards orgasm. If you’re like most women, it feels better to be teased with a very light touch of his tongue. He needs to be guided to do that, It took us a long time, a lot of practice, and a lot of communication to be able to achieve the kind of light touch that delights and sends a woman into orbit. But it’s definitely worth it! Note: you may need to remind your man to keep his mouth and tongue wet. Don’t hesitate to give those kinds of reminders. It’s much better that your man knows that than that you are uncomfortable. You may want your man to use his hands to hold your pussy wider. You’ll need to tell him how much force to use. Some women love their pussies are wide enough so that they can easily tongue-fucked. Others don’t. Also, some women like to have a man push his hand on their stomach. To others, that’s a distraction. Either way is fine: just say what works. Most women (but you may be the exception) want to be thoroughly teased and aroused before their man starts working on their clit. You need to tell him when the time is right and how you like your clit to be stimulated. Some women like a man to start by holding their clit gently in his mouth and then very gently flicking it with his tongue. Other women are so turned on at his stage that they prefer a harder touch or even a light nibble. Again you need to pleasantly communicate what works for you. And when you get to the point, where you can’t stand being teased and you have to cum, your man needs to know that he has to hang in there and not break his concentration or his rhythm until either; you cum, or one of you has to give up. At some point many women want their partner to use their finger or fingers in addition to their tongue. If you’re among those, you need to make it clear when that would be good. For some women, especially those who get wet easily, it doesn’t matter too much if a finger goes in very early. For others who need to be really turned on to have their juices flow, it might be painful to have their man’s finger up their cunt too soon. But there are great lubes to remedy all that. You also need to tell him what kind of digital stimulation works best for you. Some women love a vigorous finger-fucking. Others hate it. Some like their man to rub their clit with his finger. Others want a tongue exclusively. Almost every woman I know, adores a soft, slow, gentle stimulation of their g-spot. A man needs some guidance to be able to do that. So give him that guidance: it will be well worth it. A woman’s orgasm is much, much more intense when both her clit and her g-spot are being stimulated at the same time. When it’s done right and your anatomy allows, he might get not just a squirt but a great gush of pussy juice right in his face. Now, there seem to be some men who are disgusted by the thought of their woman cumming all over their face. Of course, they can’t expect to be able to squirt semen on your face if they won’t allow you to give them a facial. If your man absolutely can’t tolerate your squirting on his face, you may have to draw the line there; although maybe he can compromise by letting you cum on his chest. Fortunately, there are a huge number of men who absolutely thrive to give you the best tongue licking possible and take it as a personal compliment if you squirt on their face. This is such a turn-on that when it happens! I just hope that at least some of what I have written above will help you train your man to enjoy diving into your muff and giving you mindblowing oral sex. By cd prosper ot

Young Brittni shares tips and advice on the art of deepthroating. By Brittni4u. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex. On the internet in general, there are several stories and guides posted on the subject of giving blowjobs. Many of them are great and give various techniques and opinions on how to enhance oral sex on a guy. Once again, I'm not claiming to be an expert, especially at the young age of 22, but I do have skill, experience and above all, enthusiasm. In this post, I'm focusing on the deepthroating aspect because I feel over time I have gotten pretty good at it and want to pass my knowledge along so that I may help others. Deep what? First, what is the definition of deepthroating? If a girl goes all the way down on a cock, gags, chokes, then immediately rises back up, is that defined as a deepthroat? Should there be a time limit on how long you have to keep it in your throat before it actually qualifies as deepthroating? Should you be able to, not only swallow the cock, but bob all the way up and all the way down on it while performing, in order to count it as a true deepthroat? I believe there are three levels of deepthroating, so the answer to all those questions are; yes! ·         A stage one deepthroat is the first type I mentioned which most girls can do. ·         A stage two deepthroat is more difficult and fewer can keep the cock in their throat for an extended period of time. ·         And finally, a stage three deepthroat is the most difficult to perform and a low percentage of people can continually suck a cock while deepthroating it continuously every time they go down. If you are one of the lucky few that can give your guy a stage three deepthroat, he will be a very happy person. Deepthroating not only allows him to feel his entire cock into a warm, moist orifice, it also excites his mind seeing every inch disappear in your mouth. My last serious boyfriend had a long cock. It wasn't freakish big, but was just over 8 inches. He couldn't believe how easily I could deepthroat it while I blew him. He became obsessed about it and together we would look up deepthroating porn on the internet.  There are some amazing deepthroating videos out there but no one porn star that I had ever seen was better than a girl named Heather Brooke. Have any of you seen her work? Oh, my god, she is the deepthroat queen, with no peers. If you haven't seen her, I strongly advise looking her up on the internet. Obstacles to overcome The two factors that prevent someone from deepthroating are either physical or psychological. The physiological makeup of people is what determines the largest portion of their deepthroating skill. The physical barriers include the gag reflex in which we all hear the most about, throat length, cock thickness which is much more of a hindrance in deepthroating over cock length, among others. Many times, our skill level is predetermined but I do believe we can improve it. I cannot walk up to Ariana Grande and ask her to teach me to sing as good as she can; no more that I can ask Heather Brooke, ‘Please teach me to deepthroat like you.’  If you don't have the natural ability, you cannot be elite but you can get better and better with practice and it would be a shame to never realize your potential. Even if you are great at deepthroating cock, it is a physiological certainty that those barriers, I mentioned, will still get in the way sometime. Even the elite will gag, cough, heave and eyes will water at some point during deepthroating. As you perfect your skill, those things will happen less often but they still will happen nonetheless. That is why you would not deepthroat a guy through an entire blowjob. It's physically impossible. I treat deepthroating like it's glitter on a poster. You add a little here and there but it makes the best statement at the end. I think the psychological hurdle accounts for only a small portion but I wouldn't underestimate the effect it possesses. Girls, we all know when we have crossed over into extreme horniness; or what I call "lust mode." That may happen with alcohol, great foreplay, loving our partner, great lead up sex, or just a really hot guy who knows what he's doing. When you are in that state, that is the best time to attempt deepthroating. Lust mode may shed that "claustrophobic feeling" of having an object lodged in your throat if that is your psychological barrier. When you are uninhibited, you become more daring, experimental, and enthusiastic. A good blowjob starts and ends with enthusiasm. You have to like sucking cock and you have to want to suck cock. I have questioned my girlfriends at length and some like doing it and some don't. The ones who don't, still will do it on occasion just to please the guy but he will sense this in your demeanor which will diminish his pleasure.  I also hear that, on average, when a woman gets married or older in general, she performs fellatio a lot less; but I don't know many older women that I feel comfortable asking, so I cannot give a valid opinion. I love sucking cock and hope the enthusiasm I have for it, never diminishes. If you sincerely want to please his cock, savor the taste, do all the little sexy non-verbal gestures, and truly swallow every inch of it, he will absolutely love it. Sometimes, I get so aroused and into it, I feel like I can't swallow enough of it, even if it is completely buried down my throat! I want even more! We can sense when a guy's attitude is lackadaisical in eating our cunts, and the guy knows when we are sucking his cock just because it's "his birthday." Before you try to get your man's cock down your throat, be sure it's lubricated. Of course with all the sucking, there will be excessive saliva built up in your mouth but much of it will either stay in your mouth or ooze out as drool. There will be no doubt his cock will be lubricated but many forget to swallow to lubricate the throat. It is also good practice to have a drink handy when giving a blowjob; if it is possible. The wetter your throat, the better his cock will slide down. Your throat is no different than any other orifice in your body. You cannot read anything on deepthroating without hearing about the gag reflex. It is very real and very different for everyone. My sister gags at everything and cannot stick anything in her throat. My friend Kelly can slide a 10 inch dildo down her throat with no trouble. Those two girls have very different pharyngeal reflexes. I think my throat is much closer to Kelly's. Most of us girls have been so drunk or feeling so bad, we have had our fingers in our throat trying to throw up just to feel better. That is triggering our gag reflex. When we have a cock lodged in our throat, we have to think the opposite. We are suppressing our body's natural instinct to reject the object. How can we do that? I think there are a couple of techniques that may help. The first one is practice. We cannot completely change our gag reflex but we can train it.  When I was a teenager and learning the art of giving blowjobs, I got tired of gagging, so one day when I was at a friend's house, she was showing me her mom's dildo collection. She let me take one of them that looked old and not in good shape. I peeled the outer rubber or "skin" off, exposing only the core which was just a long, thin piece of rubber. I sterilized it with rubbing alcohol and used it as my practice tool. It was still very long and perfect for sucking. I would push it to the back of my throat, heave and pull it out. I would try different positions and a variety of techniques before I would go to bed. Some of those included, shove it in very fast, very slowly, drive it back and forth very quickly, try to swallow it, and twist it around. I did get to where I found my own personal preferences that worked best for me. The guy I was dating at the time could tell a big difference in a relatively short amount of time, as could I. In a few weeks, I went from gagging and choking, to deepthroating his cock like a pro. The best advice I can give is to not think specific techniques work the same for everyone. Most information that I have read about deepthroating directs people to relax and straighten their throat because that provides a better "sword swallowing" angle and suppresses the gag reflex. Yes, that can work for some people but not for me, it is the exact opposite. I deepthroat better with my chin down and tightening my throat muscles. To elaborate, I start out by locking or pressing my tongue down at the bottom of my jaw. I then open my throat while keeping the muscles contracted. Once the head of his cock touches the back of my throat, I push it down rather quickly without changing my throat position in any way. Quicker works for me but sometimes slower is better and you will have to see what works best for you. When his cock reaches its destination and completely submerged down your esophagus, it is important to not pull it completely out when you start sucking. Give yourself some time to get used to it. Shallowly, bob up and down while barely moving the cock in your throat and keeping your tongue perfectly still. Moving your tongue transfers the feeling in your gag reflex which could cause you to gag. When you get more comfortable, you can "slide" the cock further distances until you are deepthroat sucking. It's important to breathe when it slides out. Try not to change the throat angle or the pace of the sliding cock until you have mastered your gag reflex. Even if you go to great efforts to keep everything consistent, there will be times in the heat of passion you will choke or gag. There is nothing wrong with pulling it out, regrouping and starting over. That is why it's physically impossible to deepthroat someone throughout an entire blowjob. Positions Of course there are many positions to give a guy a blowjob and to deepthroat in particular. Whether you are experienced and comfortable or just starting out, I feel the best position for deepthroating is with both of you right side up. The first advantage is you keep your orientation because while on your knees or sitting down, being right side up tells your brain that everything is "normal" which allows you to focus on the task easier without gagging. Another advantage to this position, is it's easier to control the depth and thrusting speed of the cock. Your mouth or his cock are not fighting or supporting gravity. If you feel yourself start to gag, a quick pull off is easy, plus, you can use your hands to press on his abdomen when direction is needed. In addition, this position allows you better access to his balls and ass. By fondling, rubbing, cupping, jostling, or just playing with his balls, you can add that extra sensation to make him cum quicker. If he likes ass play, he can spread his legs and allow you to slide a finger in his asshole to enjoy a prostate massage while you deepthroat him. That can also trigger him to cum quicker. Another recommended position is, what I call, aligning to your lover's cock. If his cock curves upward, attack it from the top like you would do while on top during a 69 position. If it leans to the left, then get on his left side and swallow it that way. Properly aligning your throat to his natural curve can help reduce friction in your throat which in turn could help reduce gagging. It is ironic, if you have ever watched a nature show and see a snake swallow its prey, it aligns its jaws to help pull the prey down its throat and swallow it whole. Now we are the predator and our prey is the guy’s snake but we are trying to accomplish the same result. Rules? I don't recommend allowing your man to be on top if you are inexperienced at deepthroating. In other words, it is very difficult to allow him to "fuck your throat" without complications. He may get caught up in wanting to go faster or deeper than your comfort level allows. However, if you do get to the point where you can handle him doing that, it can be very exciting and erotic. Make sure he is aware of your "rules." I will also tell you that if you upside down or lying with your head hanging over the bed while deepthroating, it can be a struggle to breathe with his balls covering your nostrils. That is why I always keep a hand free to tap or "rearrange" him if needed. Once you have improved your deepthroating ability, then it is time to add some skills for his pleasure. One thing I like to do is lick his balls while his cock is totally submerged in my esophagus. I like to give a little smile, maybe even a wink, and rub my tongue back and forth on his nuts. Be careful not to stick your tongue out too far because that releases the tension of gag reflex and can cause you to gag. You will have to find your own tongue technique that works best for you. Another skill I like to performance during a good deepthroat blowjob is clenching my mouth very tightly. Once I have him completely buried, I clamp and keep removing the air trapped between my cheeks and his cock. This provides a different type of a snugness sensation, almost like a vacuum effect. When you start to bob in this position, it will feel like he is fucking a virgin. It will be no time and he will be ready to cum. Finishing If you are willing to finish a guy while deepthroating, then you have decide how you will receive his cum. It can be a little trickier than it would be with just a standard blowjob. When a guy cums in your mouth during a blowjob, you can prepare by blocking off your throat with your tongue and let him empty without choking you. The second technique is when you suck it out like your drinking through a straw. Either way, it feels natural. Cumming in your throat is something completely different. It is more difficult but if you can master the technique, it also supplies a couple of advantages. The first advantage to deepthroating an ejaculating cock is if you don't like the taste of cum. The cum shoots directly into your throat, bypassing the gag reflex and taste buds. So if you are one who hates the taste or even the slimy, thick consistency of semen, this is perfect and you are basically not swallowing until the end. Another advantage is that you have the entire cock trapped. Every inch is completely lodged and secured in your throat, therefore he cannot jam it down your throat any further which keeps you in control and gives you a better ability to take it without him doing something unexpected. There are also disadvantages to deepthroating an ejaculating cock. The first would be the movement factor. This is the total opposite of what I just explained in the last paragraph. Yes; you would have better control when you have it completely swallowed, but as he is enjoying his orgasm, he may twitch, shake, or even buck and this could cause the slightest change in your throat, triggering your gag reflex. I learned this the hard way with one of my boyfriends. He was a "hard cummer" which means he would completely shake and buck when he came. I would have to literally hold tight to his ass cheeks and keep him pressed firmly against my face when he shot because one time he bucked, causing me to gag, then shot a huge, thick wad that hit my air pipe instead of in my throat, causing me to cough up his load while he had to jack the rest of it on the floor. My eyes watered and there was a mess everywhere. So you have to be careful. It was the ultimate deepthroat gone wrong. Pass the honey, please I will tell you that once you have deepthroated a cock, your throat will be sore. With all the trauma, it feels like you are catching a cold, so don't be alarmed. Hot tea with honey is a great way to kick-start the recovery. I hope my tips and ideas will help you deepthroat you man like a porn star. Just remember to find what works best for you because no one method is for everyone. That is the key. By Brittni4u, for Literotica Thanks for joining today’s how-to sex, lesson. Come back daily, and invite your friends and partners to do the same. Enjoy putting your new insights and skills into practice, and become a greater master of the arts of sexual satisfaction. This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.

It may be time to let the girls out of boob prison. With Sam EscobaR, Tonilyn HornunG, & CQt Rose. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. With their pokey underwire, thick straps and sweat-trapping cups, bras are not always the most comfortable thing in the world. Sure, getting a bra that properly fits can do wonders for your boobs, but there's nothing quite like going without one. While there are certainly some folks who simply can't go bra-free, whether it's due to comfort or size, the ones who can; seem to universally agree that it is supremely amazing — whether you do it in public or just in the comfort of your own home. As someone with large breasts who has recently started embracing the wonders of going braless, I am totally obsessed. Why? Let me count the ways. 1. Your boob sweat can just ... evaporate. Look, one of the most inconvenient things about summer (and having big boobs in general) is the pool of under-boob sweat that appears with the slightest hint of heat. When you skip the bra, you have a chance to air it all out rather than pressing that gross moisture against your skin all day. It even creates health risks of skin infections and rashes. 2. Your natural chest shape emerges. For years, I thought that extremely round, padded and shaped look was the best one for my body. Now that I've started skipping a bra all together, I actually get to see the shape of my breasts, about which I've been previously self-conscious. It's fine if you like a bra-shaped appearance for your boobs, but it never hurts to try something new. 3. You realize how unique all boobs are. Since the bra-free look has returned to popularity, more folks with differently shaped breasts have been rocking it. Droopy, small, large, asymmetrical, perky — all sorts, not just the one type fashion, movies and TV would have us believe. And the cool thing about that is that it's a reminder of how different chests are from one person to the next. 4. You get that "just took off my bra" feeling all. day. long. You know how wonderful it feels to remove your bra the moment you get home? Imagine experiencing that delight for the entire day. 5. You save money on bras. Fact: Bras are expensive. Another fact: Replacing them is annoying. If you wind up only wearing one for half of the week, you go through 'em half as fast — and spend half as much. 6. Nipples are highly underrated accessories. The 1970s was a glamorous decade filled with glitz, gold and visible nipples. Take a page from the disco era and allow your nipples to add a little extra fun to your look. After all, men wear theirs out literally the entire summer. What's the big deal about letting ours simply rest naturally under the fabric of a shirt? 7. You look great in a crop top. If you've ever felt so inclined to try the continuously popular crop top (hey — it's for any age, any body type!), I've got great news for you: They look great sans bra. 8. At the end of the day, you don't have all those pressure lines. Even the best bras can leave some uncomfortable marks on your skin — why not just skip 'em all together? 9. It feels just a little extra adventurous. I'll be honest: Going without a bra sometimes translates to risking a "wardrobe malfunction," depending on what you wear it with. But hey, you only live once. You might as well feel extra alive every once in a while — and that breeze-plus-boobs combo will definitely help. 10. Going without a bra doesn't make your boobs "sag." First of all, some breasts are naturally droopy. That's a fact, and it's fine. You don't need to be afraid of it! Second, there's this oft-repeated old wives' tale that if you don't wear a bra, your breasts will get lower and lower, but a 15-year French study actually concluded the opposite. In fact, the study found that women who went without bras developed more muscle tissue, allowing their bodies to support their breasts naturally. Thanks, science! 11. You remember that if something makes you uncomfortable, sometimes it's best to just skip it. Obviously (and unfortunately) there are situations where people are going to judge you for what you wear. However, if you feel your most confident heading out to dinner or to the park without a bra, let yourself just go for it. And don't listen to anyone who says your breasts aren't the right shape, size or type to go bra-free. 12. Once you adjust to how it feels sans bra, it can feel seriously powerful. Yes, really. Just trust me. Why I Stopped Wearing a Bra My mom's refusal to wear one used to embarrass me. Now I get it. BY TONILYN HORNUNG It used to embarrass me — my mom's refusal to wear a bra. I'm not sure why, really. It's not like she jogged her way through life forcing everyone to stare at her heaving chest, but as a teenager, I found her refusal mortifying. I'm sure a therapist would delve deeper into the reasons why this may have bothered me, saying something along the lines of, "Seeing your mother in any way womanly or sexualized made her seem like more of a real person than a mother," but to my basic teenage brain, it was simpler. Women wore bras. That's just what women did, and my mom was a woman, so she should wear her bra. But she did not. Now, as an adult, I think my mom might have been on to something. There was a time I enjoyed buying frilly, lacy bras, and such. Walking into Victoria's Secret was a quiet thrill for this shy, little Catholic schoolgirl. I'm sure my husband would appreciate it if that thrill still existed in my world, but if I'm being honest, the last time I bought a bra was over three years ago. No, I have not decided to burn all my bras for some sort of political statement or because it was super cold this last winter. I haven't purchased a bra for a very good reason. I wore a bra for two years straight. The pregnancy books don't really tell a nervous mom-to-be all there is to know about Mom Boobs. Sure, the books go into fantastic detail about all sorts of other pregnancy issues, using scary words like "discharge" and phrases like "growing areolas." But I found that the majority of these helpful tomes forgot to mention that a pregnant lady's breasts can be so tender that putting on a bra, and then strapping them down with an Ace bandage, is the only way to walk up and down a flight of stairs comfortably. The bra (with the Ace bandage) became my best friend during my pregnancy. I figured after I had the baby, my life and my boobs would achieve some sort of normalcy. I thought I'd be home free, but then I started nursing my baby. Again, I needed a bra to support my milkshakes — but this time it was a nursing bra. These contraptions are slightly more comfortable than a real bra but unlike a normal bra, they open in the front for a little quick air conditioning on a hot summer day. Still, though, trying to sleep without "The Girls" contained was as uncomfortable as sleeping on two actual cartons of milk. So I wore a bra during my pregnancy and while breastfeeding — day and night for two years. (I did take it off to shower.) Now I require freedom! At most, a passerby might see me in a sports bra just to keep "The Girls" from roaming all over the place, but I can't stand wearing a real bra anymore. They feel tight and constrictive. I have earned the right to feel my "Girls" flop against my stomach as I sit, but more important, I've discovered my mother's secret: Bras are uncomfortable. Perhaps one day I will come around and prefer a little lace and wire help hike up my puppies, versus the power of gravity, but for now, I like my freedom. And maybe if I actually used the Victoria's Secret gift card my husband bought for me last Valentine's Day, I might discover bras have evolved over the last several years to where it feels like a person is wearing nothing. But I have a better idea. Why not actually wear nothing? Oh god! 10 years from now, what will my teen daughter say about my free puppies? By Tonilyn HornunG My back pain Is Gone! My horny hubby’s idea helped me deal with upper back pain. By CQt Rose Not wearing a bra... braless... letting the puppies (or kittens, in my case) play freely. Yes, when I went to the grocery store this morning, I didn't bother strapping the girls into anything that would restrict their natural movement. Shopping at the mall? Nope. Church last Sunday? Sorry, that was me swaying completely to the music. (Oh, get over it. Do you really think Mary, mother of Jesus, wore a bra? I rest my case.) Shirts versus skins amateur basketball tournament? Dang, I was benched before that decision had to be made. Looking back, I can see how naive and silly I was fifteen years ago. I can also remember the real reason I rarely confine my chest into some modern day instrument of Puritanism. It was the turn of the century (the year 2000, for the calendar deficient). Between the stress of work, my husband launching his own business, and a move from my beloved home to a big city, everything was crashing down on me. The end result was headaches, upper back pain, and a miserable me. I suffered through it for almost six months before that fateful day my husband came to me with a bewildering question: would I be willing to try going without a bra for a month to see if it helped my maladies. Fifteen years ago, prior to that moment, before six months of increasingly excruciating pain, I wouldn't be caught dead without a bra. I even slept in a sports bra. My hubby is a curious sort and loves research. He had been looking for anything we hadn't tried to help my upper thoracic(back)/lower cervical(neck) spasms, which were the likely source of my recurrent head aches. Low-and-behold, an unpublished work by a couple of orthopedic surgeons in England reported an unusual finding. Women scheduled for surgery due to neck and upper back pain, when asked to go without the 'benefit' of a bra during pre-surgical preparations, often noted reduced symptoms, even before their actual surgery. Discussing things, the dynamic-doctor-duo started to consider the bio-mechanics of the brassiere. They noted that those nasty things were distributing weight from the front of the chest, up over the shoulders, crossing directly over the thoracic-cervical spinal transition zone and associated parts: muscles, joints, spine. Everything was potentially affected, even resting posture. That shoulder-to-shoulder boulder holder was intentionally moving structural stress onto the upper back and lower neck. It couldn't really be that simple, could it? Obviously, the bra was made by a group of men to help women, right? Nope. The brassiere was made to keep the God-fearing menfolk focused on their jobs and proper etiquette. Why bother retraining a man when you could more easily torture a non-voting woman. Rapidly the freedom of movement was replaced by the proper brassiere, corset, and other torment devices. All to keep evil women from flaunting their apple-eating harlot bodies, and thus deliberately forcing men to have improper thoughts. Heaven knows, no righteous guy would ever have an improper thought if not directly lured by a woman... at least not more than six a minute. (Yes, I know, that study was flawed, but it's still very funny.) With the passing of time, this original reason for the invention of the bra has been lost. Most people incorrectly think it was made to help women by supporting the breast and to prevent sagging. Not really truth in advertising is it? Yet look what gender is running the ad campaign to promote another piece of lingerie to be added to a woman's "essential" wardrobe. Knowing it's not to support the breast tissue, why not consider asking women, while on the waiting list for surgery, to 'go natural' for a month. I'm sure our good doctors spun it as "in preparation for surgery" instead of "because we're beady-eyed sex fiends that want to see bouncing boobies everywhere!" (Cue up "Bounce Your Boobies" by Rusty Warren.) For their study, they evaluated pain scores, mobility, headache frequency, and any other data point they could find (I'm sure the doctors' wives nixed the nipple diameter and 'cup-ability' of the-breast-in-hand aspects of the study, but being boys first, scientists second, I bet it was on their original study outline). Interesting trial for the patient, not so good for surgical income because a significant portion of the women who went braless improved enough not to need surgery. Back pain? Gone. Neck pain? Nada. Headaches? "Dammit, Jim, bring that one back or I'm gonna have to start putting out!" Returning to my own painful situation, facing my husband's puppy-dog eyes begging me to try, I bit the bullet. I bit my lip. I did a hundred hail Mary's that first day, asking forgiveness for my sin. I left the bra off. The following morning, I got reminded not to put it on. "But it's not working," I whine to my scientist. "It's been eleven hours," he says. "Yes! And it's not working!" I emphasize, since he seems to want to prove my point. "How long have you been in pain?" "Four months." "Half a year, sorry. Nice try. Next contestant," Doctor Smarty-Pants says. "So? It's not working," I grumble. "So I get half a day to fix a problem spawning, growing, consuming you for six months? The study said four to six weeks." "But people will see!" "You mean under your T-shirt, button-up, sweat shirt, and... please! A scarf? It's spring, at least lose the scarf." I reluctantly put down the bra, leaving all the other clothes on, thankful it was my day off. No freaking way I was going to work without a bra. Little did I know just how adamant my belligerent husband could be in some instances. The next day is much easier. Much fucking easier because, "Where the hell are all my bras?" I snarl. He swallows with a deer-in-headlight look. Not a good sign before I've had my breakfast. He bolts for the door. "Stop! Man-up!" I yell at his retreating back. He turns back toward me when at a safe distance, "That's cowboy up, to you, sweetie! Free Willie!" and he pumps his fist in the air before hastening to finish his escape. By the end of the second week, I'm woman enough to admit, I was having fewer headaches. My neck still ached like a son-of-a, but I swear, Aspirin and I were no longer having an intimate relationship. Of course, neither were my husband and I, but that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. Finishing the third week, he had grown a set and returned to our bed, sleeping uneasily as I occasionally sang the 'Bobbit' song. I wasn't going to mention my neck pain was reduced by more than half. Let him sweat a little more. End of the first month? I wanted my brassieres back, but only for special occasions. Like when I go out in public. When I get up in the morning. When I go to bed at night. You wouldn't take Linus' security blanket away, would you? Unfortunately, my husband would... the bastard. Start of week five. I had to start being honest with him, because he'd hidden a small fortune in lingerie. My neck and upper back were almost completely pain free. I hadn't had a headache for almost ten days. My boobs didn't hurt. They weren't even hitting my knees... yet. Ladies? Here's a special hint: don't marry a scientist. Not only will they try to support everything with fact, plus at least two references, but everything becomes a classic study where a single result means nothing. "Ok, you tried our little test. You can have them all back," he smiles, returning the stack of my clothing. He earns himself a blow job. (Oh, as if you've never been so happy to get your way you don't go a little crazy.) Little did I know, his devious man-mind was still at work. Two weeks later, I make the mistake of dumping out three aspirin onto my plate at breakfast. "Headache, huh?" "No shit, Sherlock, who gave you the first clue?" I glare at him, daring him to mention labeled dose. "You want me to rub your shoulders?" Never trust a guy volunteering to give you a back rub. He wants something. Or, in my case, he's about to prove something I don't want to really hear. "Sure," I say, somewhat dejectedly into my toast and pills. His hands gently start at my shoulders, then in toward my lower neck... "Holy mother of... stop! Ow! Stop!" "Oh, sorry. Neck pain?" "Yes, Einstein, and shoulder tenseness, and..." Flick. Where the fuck do guys learn to do that? I didn't even have time to flinch, let alone stop to realize what he was doing reaching behind my back again. My girls drop two inches. "Fucker." "Thank you. We're starting braless study, phase three now. I trust you can have your bras and use them responsibly? Only in dire emergency? Like you've got an audience with the Pope?" "Fucker." Only this time, it's said in that tone that means I've given up. Dammit, the stupid Y chromosome-holding genetic freak now held all the cards. {Funny, I never realized how much I could swear when in pain. The good news is that scientific studies show cursing increases your pain tolerance - cuss away.} "Thank you. You want help taking it the rest of the way off?" Stupid-ass puppy-dog eyes. God I love him. No matter how hard he makes it. It only takes three weeks this time. Completely pain free. Last aspirin almost the day after our showdown. I wore a bra less than seven hours over that period of time, and only because it was summer now, and it's too hot to keep wearing a sweatshirt every time I go out. Then a not-so-funny thing happens. We're out and I've worn just a T-shirt and a huge baggy sweatshirt with jeans. It's hot. I was going to pass out. "Take off your sweatshirt, silly!" "I don't have on a bra, dipstick!" "Sorry, I forgot. Everyone looks at you. You're the center of the universe." "Stop being an ass, I'm dying of heat." "You think anyone really gives a flying flip about what you are or aren't wearing? I'll help you watch for the first leery-eyed bastard that looks your way. You get 'that' look, we're out of here. If you don't get that look, you accept it: unfortunately, you're just not that important... just like me. People are in their own worlds and they never see the world around them. Take your freedom and live it." Stupid revolutionary scientists. I hate to admit it, but I didn't burst into flames that day not wearing one out in public. Except for the rare occasion, it didn't seem like anyone ever noticed. In fact, until much more recently when I started wearing the thinner, lace-and-sheer tops as I grew more confident and comfortable with my body, did I ever notice anyone taking a second look at me. It's amazing, not only am I still married to the scientist, but my girls get to roam free everywhere we go. Though I still enjoy a good massage today, it's not needed for neck and upper back pain. If you or someone you love has upper back pain, neck discomfort, shoulder tenseness, or headaches, it's an easy experiment to try on your own (at least if you're female or a bra-wearing guy). There's no serious significant side-effects and you might be surprised at the amount of mental freedom you feel. So in answer to, "Uh, excuse me miss, but you have a very nice, uh, natural movement to you when you walk. You aren't, uh, you're not..." "You bet, buck-o. I'm not wearing a bra! And I'm loving it!" Another woman concurred. Great therapy idea. There are various reasons why some women never go braless but a big reason is insecurity about their shape, thinking their breasts are too small or too big or especially if they think they are too saggy. A group of neighborhood wives that discovered the benefits of going bra-free, in conjunction with also discovering that their supposed "imperfections" are actually attributes. It came about at a neighborhood walking group, one June evening. One of the wives revealed that her bras cause her pain and that she goes braless at home to get relief, but is too self-conscious to do it away from home. Another confesses that her doctor told her to avoid bras for the same reason and the three other wives all admit that they hate their bras but feel compelled to wear them, even around their neighborhood friends. The gals dared each other to leave their bras home at a future walk. The next evening at that next walking group, the wives were talking about their insecurities about their breast shape/size. to dress "conspicuously braless". The ladies eventually decide that during the next night’s walk, as therapy, they will be braless, & forced to learn that their size/shape is OK. At that next night’s walking group, the women finally were all braless, and loved it. Within a couple weeks, they thought nothing of it, and when the older Anderson couple in the neighborhood started walking with them, the ladies were not bothered at all about Mr. Anderson. By August, the neighborhood summer barbecues were also mostly braless, & the wives often showed up wearing either tube-tops, bikini tops, or went bra-less under tank-tops, in the 90 degree heat. This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.

 No matter your size, you can make it work for you. By PolySwingerWife. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.   We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact. In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence. Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration. Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits. Let’s hear from Evangelina Vargas, aka, Poly Swinger Wife. She’s married, but claims multiple sex partners. Length vs Girth It is often men who are concerned about cock size. I will admit that cock size can be an issue for some women, as well, but more often it is men who are the most concerned. Men’s penises can be seen in gym locker rooms by other men, at nude beaches, and at nude resorts by both men and women. When penises are seen in these places, the penises are flaccid. Most men are not comparing their erect penises to other men’s erect penises in real life. When this occurs, it is usually while looking at or watching porn. Since most penises are seen when they are flaccid, it is safe to assume that flaccid size is just as important as erect size. Let’s say that two men are together, one man’s penis glans (head) is bigger than the other man’s entire penis. Could this be an issue? I believe so. Let’s now say that a woman is looking at these two men. Is she going to see both men as being equal, sexually or otherwise? Possibly not. A person’s reaction to a man’s penis size can have lasting effects. And too often statements made about a smaller penis are rarely complimentary. Imagine that you are a man, and more than once you have been told that your penis is “cute.” Does this foster a feeling of command, confidence, and masculinity? No. Conversely, if you are told that you are hung, or hung like a horse, does this foster a different feeling for the “hung” man? I believe so. The size of a man’s penis often has a lot to do with how a man sees himself. How well he measures up will attribute to the man’s feelings of self-worth, and himself as a man. It is said that flaccid size often has nothing to do with what the same penis will look like when erect. I agree, to a point. I believe that a man who has a flaccid penis that is 2.5 inches in length isn’t going to be as big when he is erect as a man who is 6.5 inches in length when he is flaccid. A larger cock, when flaccid, may not grow much more when it is erect, but it may get thicker. So, let’s say that one man has a 4.5-inch erect penis that is 4.0 inches in circumference, and the other man has a 6.5-inch penis that is 5.0 inches in circumference when it is flaccid. I believe it is safe to assume that the larger flaccid penis is going to be the bigger penis when it is erect. Many men fear being alone or rejected because of the size of their penis. This fear usually exists because of past ridicule of the man’s penis or the fear of that happening. The Whole Clitoris Matters Although most women care much less about men’s penis sizes, it has been noted that women who can, do, and enjoy vaginal orgasm prefer larger cock men. For women who don’t prefer vaginal orgasms, penis size is a far less pressing matter. Studies have shown that fewer women can and do orgasm vaginally than those who orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Yet, it has also recently been proven that the clitoris is much larger than previously thought. Essentially, all women who experience orgasm, either through clitoral or vaginal stimulation, experience clitoral orgasms. Why is this important? The reason many women can and do experience “vaginal” orgasm is that the penis rubs the clitoris on all sides. When looked at, the clitoris is not just the nub that most people think that it is. It actually covers much more ground. The “nub” is just the tip of the clitoris. To put it crudely, the entire clitoris looks like a large wishbone that has incredibly large testicles. (Side note, the G-spot is actually the back of the clitoris.) A thicker cock can stimulate the clitoris in various areas. This is why girth is often more important to women than length is. ‘Show Me’ clubs If girth is more important to women, why are men so worried about the length of their penis? The reason is that men’s penises are their advertisement, their forecast of what’s to come. Yet, I will admit, this, too, is situational. My husband and I go to swing clubs, and we are also members of a nudist resort. My husband and I have both noticed that there is a big difference between the men who go to swing clubs and those who go to nudist resorts. The men we see at the swing clubs usually have penises that hang and swing when they walk. Whereas, most of the men at the nudist resort have small, or barely visible, penises. Of course, swing clubs are sexual atmospheres. Whereas, nudist resorts are family-friendly. At the swing clubs, it’s rare to see men who have a small penis. Conversely, at the nudist resort, it’s rare to see men who are well hung. My husband has a small penis. At the swing club, my husband often feels inferior. Whereas, at the nudist resort, he’s larger than a majority of men. We have become friends with another couple who also attend the same swing clubs we do, and they are also members of the same nudist resort. And we have talked about this with them. The wife of the couple has said that she feels more attractive at the swing club because men want to have sex with her. The husband says he likes the nudist resort most because he is around men who are more sized like he is. Seeing the difference between the penis sizes of swingers and nudist men has made us think. In a sexually charged atmosphere, the larger penis men are seen as most valuable. Whereas, at the nudist resort, personality is what matters most. If you go online and look at nudists, you will see a lot of small penis men. Why is that? At nudist venues, public sex or public displays of affection is forbidden. Whereas, at swing clubs, public sex is encouraged. So, what would attract one man to one place and another man to the other? Comfort and acceptance. You pretty much go to places where you feel you fit in most. So, if you have a small penis, you would feel more comfortable at a nudist venue. We’ve gotten to know the one man, at the nudist resort, who is exceptionally well sized. To put this in perspective, he used to be a porn star, and he is bigger soft than almost all of the men I have seen (hard) at the swing clubs. He says he feels like a circus freak, sometimes, at the nudist resort. Yet, he also says that a lot of women, at the nudist resort, want sex with him. Although public sex is frowned upon at nudist venues, this big dick guy says that sex does happen, a lot, at least for him. Neither my husband nor the husband of the other couple we’ve gotten to know, have been able to get sex at the swing club. Yet, a larger penis man, at a nudist resort, gets sex, often. At the swing clubs, you get to see men both flaccid and erect. Whereas, at the nudist resort, you only see men flaccid. At the nudist resort, it doesn’t matter if you are a grower or not. We’ve been to several swing clubs and several nudist resorts, and our findings have been the same. Nudists believe that baring it all has physical and mental health benefits, including stress relief and improved self-esteem. Which makes sense, even sexually. As a man, when you are around a lot of other men, who also have small penises, you see yourself as normal. At a swing club, if you have a small penis, you see yourself as that guy who doesn’t get to have sex. And that has no physical or mental health benefits, stress relief, or improved self-esteem. It works in reverse, too Nudism is about creating situations where there is psychological and emotional equality between people. This is not the case at swing clubs. A nudist environment is a safe, NON-sexual space. Whereas, swing/sex clubs are sexually charged. Having an erection, and not hiding it, in a nudist environment reinforces rape culture and works against everything the nudist movement stands for. Whereas, at a swing club, especially if you have a large penis, you are more than likely going to get to make new friends. In nudist environments, sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are never appropriate. So, why is it that in swing clubs sexually suggestive language, dancing, dress, or displays of affection are permissible and even encouraged? Because nudist environments are considered wholesome and non-sexual. Whereas, swing clubs are sexual by nature. This being the case, why are there more larger penis men who go to swing clubs and smaller penis men who go to nudist resorts? In a nudist environment, no one cares how big or small your penis is. And no one pays much attention. Whereas, at a swing club, your penis size is important. And everyone notices if you are big or small. Although nudist environments aren’t sexual, a larger penis is going to be noticed, just as a small penis is going to be noticed at a swing club, but not in a good way. To add some balance, at a swing club, a plumper woman is not going to be seen as attractive as a fit woman. And she will not be seen as sexually valuable. This is something that we have come to see. If you are a larger woman or a small penis man at a swing club, you are not seen as sexually valuable. In a nudist environment, your size, whether you are a man or a woman, isn’t important. Why? Because nudist environments are non-sexual. So, in sexual situations, your size does matter, whether you like it or not. I believe this is something many people don’t understand. To most people, sex is important. And in our findings, if you are a fit woman or a man with a large penis, you are seen as sexually valuable. I think we all want sex, but because of how people are, what you look like, and what you have, matters. The biggest difference between a larger woman and a small penis man is; a larger woman is more likely to be hit on than a small penis man is. As far as confidence goes, nudist men don’t care who sees them nude, in a nudist environment. Even if they have a very small penis. Yet, at swing clubs, the larger penis men seem to be the most confident. It seems to us that confidence, where penis size is a part of it, is largely dependent on the situation and the environment. If overt sexuality is looked down upon, small penis men are the most confident. And, in sexually charged atmospheres, larger penis men are usually the most confident. Take this outside of swing clubs and nudist environments, and penis size is often important, to both men and women. And, sadly, if you are a small penis man, even clothed and no one knows you have a small penis, the small penis man still often feels inferior. I joked once to my husband that maybe all men should be nudists. And he didn’t laugh. He told me that would not be a good thing, because then you’d know who really did and did not have a small penis, and everyone would know. Not what most small penis men would wish for. It’s sad, considering that most things in life are not sexual, that penis size is such an issue. Big penis men complain that they can’t find underwear that fits them right, or that they can’t get their penis in a woman because their penis is too big. But that doesn’t seem to affect their day-to-day lives. Whereas, small penis men deal with small penis problems in all aspects of their lives. I started this post to state that the importance of penis size is situational. But I have to admit that it isn’t. If the opportunity for sex doesn’t exist, then penis size isn’t an issue. Whereas, if sex is what people are there to have, or are looking for, then penis size is going to matter, a lot. We are a society that sees our physical appearance as important. If you type “sexy nude women” in Google, what do you see? You see younger, fit women, with larger breasts. What happens when you type in “sexy nude men” in Google? You see pictures of men who are well hung, or you see pictures of men having sex with other men. What does that tell you? Sadly, our naked bodies tell others of our sexual market value. And this is why many men fear their penis isn’t big enough, or want theirs to be bigger. Often people see sex as a private matter, but, in reality, it is more a socio-economical matter. Men’s and women’s bodies are like sexual currency, and each body has its own sexual and socio-economic value. As stated above, when sex is not wanted or looked for, a small penis isn’t an issue. When sex is the goal, that is when penis size matters. Just 3 Seconds A man and his penis may be likened to a property owner looking to sell. It makes sense for him to advertise, market, and position his property to create increased demand and end up with the best deal. Consider actual marketing, the business that has the most money can attract the most customers. Now, look at men and penises. The man who has the most to advertise is going to attract the most sexual partners. A recent study revealed that women see a man’s height and penis size as equally important. And in this study, it was proven that women can approve of or reject a man’s penis in three seconds, by simply looking at it, and the majority of women in the study stated that they did not find a small penis attractive. One thing that all men have to realize is that women can and do have sex more often than men, and usually understate their number of sexual partners. What this means is that no matter who you are, as a man, chances are good that the woman you’re having sex with has probably had sex with more men than you will with other women. What does a woman’s number of sexual partners have to do with penis size? If you are a man who has an erect penis that measures 3.75 inches long and 3 inches in circumference, and all the other men that your present sexual partner has been with have been at least 6.5 inches long and 5.75 inches in circumference, You’ll have a challenge before you. The other men were all almost twice your size in both length and girth. Kinky Options ‘For Small Cocks Only’ Keep in mind, though, if a woman is into anal sex, many women prefer a thinner penis. And if you are on the smaller side, a woman can get your entire cock in her mouth, she can deep throat you. Then, she can relax and just have fun with your cock. Some might say that a woman’s vagina feels different if she has recently had sex with a man who had a much larger cock. If it has been a while, the same woman may feel tighter. If you enter a woman just after another man pulled out of her, and his cock is larger than yours is, the woman may feel loose to you. And if you have a large cock yourself, you may never meet a woman that you’d consider to be loose. There are benefits no matter what side of the scale you’re on. If you have a smaller cock, you may get to do more than a man who has a much larger cock. If you are a man who has a larger cock, you might get sex more often. Yet, if your cock is the size a woman can have fun with, then you win, no matter what. Although any man with any size penis can please a woman, and enjoy himself, men still concern themselves with something they can’t change. Your penis can’t be any bigger than it is, you can’t change how tall you are, but you can lose weight and work out to improve your market value. Instead of focusing on what you can’t change, focus on what you can change. I’m not saying that there is ever going to be a time when a smaller penis is seen as superior to a larger penis. What I am saying is that larger and smaller penis men can and do get sex. And you can, too, no matter the size of your penis. In conclusion, men will probably always worry or be discontent when it comes to their penis, but keep in mind that women also worry about their bodies and parts. The fact that women have sex with more men than men do women should tell you that you’re still in the running, no matter your size. By PolySwingerWife for Literotica from How-To Sex Podcast https://how-to-sex-podcast.tumblr.com/post/744670606372601856

No matter your size, you can make it work for you. By Dancing Sprite. World Data.info, Risia Skye, & nh play guy. Listen to the Podcast at How-to Sex.     We’re taking plenty of time for this issue, because it has a lot of myths, yet it impacts much of how we interact. In the same way that busty women often carry themselves in a confident aura, and often intimidate other women, Some men have a confidence that is tied to their ‘package’. Men who don’t have super-sized packages, sometimes feel a significant lack of confidence. Never mind that longer, thicker men are usually denied uncomfortable intercourse from many women. And they are almost always deprived of alternative sex act like fellatio and anal penetration. Some men are also adverse to the attention they draw for their larger physiology; just as some women don’t like being stereotyped for having big tits. How does your equipment compare to others? Find out! Dancing Sprite provides some historic statistics, so our further conversations will be based on a proper perspective. Few questions seem to occupy men as much as the size of their dicks. Is it too short? Will my girl think I’m a bad lover or even laugh at me because it’s shorter than others she’s had? Is it long enough to reach every nook and cranny of her pussy and stimulate each and every nerve ending? How does my dick compare to others? Is it longer? Shorter? Average? Questions upon questions. Especially avid readers of porn stories, who regularly come across tales of 10", 12", or even 15" cocks, often can’t help comparing these specimens to their own equipment and, not surprisingly, find their own dicks to be much smaller than the ones they read about. The question that has to come up sooner or later is: who’s the freak, the guy in the story with the 12" monster or me with my 5" dick? How long is the average human penis, anyway? Despite widespread interest in this question, however, there are surprisingly few scientific studies which could give us a definitive answer. Instead, as always, when solid information is scarce, rumors and speculations run rampant. Even basic facts become the subject of heated arguments among locker room buddies and many men are more confused than ever. Most obvious is the fact that, according to leading sexologists, almost 80 percent of all men secretly believe that their dick is shorter than average. While the optimum penis size will probably always remain subject to debate, at least the average size doesn’t have to be. Kinsey Institute Weighs In The first extensive study of penis sizes was undertaken by the Alfred C. Kinsey Institute for Sex Research in the mid-1940s and found the average penis to be 6.2" long. This study, which is still kind of an authority on the subject, had one flaw, however: participants in the study were never actually measured; they were given stamped postcards on which they marked the length of their erect penises, then mailed the results back to the institute. This procedure was often criticized for its lack of supervision of the participants and the possibility of distortions due to inaccurate measurements or downright cheating. It’s called ‘self-reporting’ and is widely discredited for clinical research protocols. After the Kinsey report, several other studies on the same subject followed, conducted among others by the University of California in San Francisco and the Lifestyles Condom Company. These studies came to slightly different results, but all found the average penis length to be somewhere about 10 shorter than Kinsey; between 5.1" and 5.9". As is the case with most objects in nature, the distribution of penis lengths follows a bell curve. The line peaks just under 6" and falls to both sides; the farther away you get from the statistical average, the less frequent a certain length occurs. In fact, about 90 percent of all penises are between 5" and 7" long. The longest penis ever described in medical literature, a 14" specimen, was mentioned in a book by Dr. David Reuben, but since he didn’t give a source and the measurement could not be independently verified, scientists tend to disregard that report. The longest medically verified penis is not far behind, however; in the early 20th century, Dr. Robert Dickinson came across a 13 point 5" penis, which still holds the record. Other studies found various penises between 9" and 12", but organs of this length are in fact quite rare. At the opposite end of the spectrum, the smallest fully functional penises documented in medical literature measure around point 5" in length. While many people might balk at the description of a half-inch dick as “fully functional,” in this context it means being able to get erect and have an ejaculation(somehow). Your Turn To survey. In case you’ve never measured your own dick and are wondering how to do it correctly, it’s easy: first you need to get an erection, then you stand upright and hold your penis at a 90 degree angle from your pelvic bone, i.e. parallel to the floor. Now place a ruler on top of it, press it lightly against your pelvic bone, and read the number off the ruler where the tip is. Don’t cheat! Now, before you decide to throw a party because your dick is longer than average after all, or jump off a bridge because it really is shorter, here’s the result of another study: Most women don’t care! About 80 percent of the women who were interviewed expressed no preference for penis size; they said that what a man is able to do with it is the important thing, not its size. And while some women do indeed prefer long dicks, the majority of the remaining 20 percent said they didn’t like large penises because they hurt. There you have it, guys. Don’t worry about its size, just use it and have fun! WorldData.info recently conducted a global ‘self-reporting’ survey. They found no association between age or body mass. No other topic on this website has been asked for more often than the average size of male genitalia. This international comparison now gives some basic data about the mean sizes per country. Over all countries, the average size of a penis is about 5.35". The longest ones are 6.93" long on average and carried by men in Ecuador. The average length in Cambodia is only 3.95", which is about 6.1 percent of the body height. Among Caucasians, the nations of Georgia, France, Netherlands, and Canada were all slightly longer than 6”, while most Asian and Middle Eastern nations fell short of 5”. The USA, Russia, Japan, India, & the British men all approached 5 point 5 inches. Clearly, Southeast Asian men were have the smallest average cocks; in the 4” range. The average cock lengthens 50% when transitioning from a warm dry flaccid state, to a rigid & fully erect state. A little frank talk about the (un)importance of size And now let’s talk a while about how a woman deals with a man’s phallus, and what she needs. What Can A Woman Handle? By Risia Skye Myth: Secretly, women all really want an enormously endowed man and only pretend not to; so as not to hurt men’s feelings. Men, how many times have you heard women say that it doesn’t matter; and how many of other times have you heard comedians make jokes about what a lie this is? Which do you believe, or do you not know what to think anymore? Women, surely you’ve noticed that men seem to worry a great deal about the size of their cocks, right? In all likelihood, you’ve even measured at least one hard-on for a partner who was “just curious.” Ever wonder what causes that anxiety? Well, no wonder they’re confused and even scared about how their equipment “measures up”; with all the mixed messages out there, it’s a wonder men aren’t more obsessed with the size question. It’s tough enough to get naked in front of another person and open one’s self to body judgement, let alone taking that risk when you can’t even tell what’s attractive to the opposite sex, much less whether or not you fit the bill. Reality: Penis size doesn’t (really) matter. The truth is that there’s no simple, always true for all women, standard answer as to what’s the best size, for a variety of reasons. Pussies are differently sized, for one thing, and are thus optimally stimulated by different sizes and shapes of cock. Also, there’s a great deal of truth to the old adage that “it’s not the size of the wave, but the motion of the ocean.” While among ourselves, most women will admit that penis size does have some impact on sexual satisfaction, there’s a lot of wrong ideas (especially among men) about what that really means. For one thing, while most men seem to focus their size-anxieties on it, most women don’t really care about length; the average vagina is only 4 to 5 inches deep, and the average erection is slightly over five inches, so that all works out just fine the majority of the time. Circumference, on the other hand, can seriously affect the experience of intercourse. Women, by and large, enjoy the sensation of fullness that can only come from girth; it’s the flip side to men’s enjoyment of a tight, clenching pussy. And, even if a man has limited endowment; in both length and girth; he can be a skilled and fully satisfying sexual partner for most women. A smaller than average erection doesn’t equate to a bad lover because attentive foreplay and technical proficiency go a long way; rather than sweat the issue or do silly things like buy products which claim to increase size, you’d be better off accepting your body and learning to make optimal use of the equipment you were dealt by the hand of Fate. In fact, regardless of penis size, every man has the potential to be a good lover; and the best way to start is by taking the focus off of genital measurements and redirecting it toward a much broader idea of eroticism and sex appeal. Learning to use the whole body and mind during the sexual experience, rather than relying upon erection size as the barometer of sexual prowess, makes for a much better lover. Corollary myth: a big cock makes for a good lover. First, I’m not denying that some women really are size queens; they truly do prefer, or even insist upon, sexual partners with larger (sometimes significantly so) than average organs. Let’s address the size-focused minority first and get it out of the way: there are three principle groups of female size queens and size-fantasists. Some see it as exotic, often associating cock size with race or some other way in which the ideal partner is different from the woman; much the same way a man might eroticize Asian women based on stereotypical images of the submissive “Lotus Flower” or the sexually voracious bitch-goddess known as the “Dragon Lady.” For this group of women, penis size is often occupying the place of the real turn-on because the implications of the fantasy are uncomfortable; for example, given U.S. cultural history, what does it mean for a white woman to fantasize about being fucked senseless by a big, well-muscled and hugely endowed black man? And who wants to think about history, racist stereotypes, and cultural role reversal taboos when they’re trying to get off anyway? Other women actually like a plus-sized erection because it’s tougher to have satisfying sex with than average-sized equipment; think of it as a scaled down version of the attraction to Mt. Everest. Corollary reality: a larger than average penis can actually make sex much more difficult, frustrating, and even painful. And some women actually sexually desire oversized phalluses because the sexual experience might be difficult due to size. Particularly for women who consider themselves skilled and experienced in bed, taking pride in this image of themselves, encountering a particularly daunting erection is a challenge to their self-image that cannot go unanswered, and having “been there and done that” will add another notch to their accumulation of diverse sexual experiences. Also, sexual masochism is more prevalent among women than men, which means that some women actually desire to be penetrated by uncomfortably or even painfully large phalluses; while heterosexual men are the least likely to understand this, because they’re statistically the least likely to find pleasure in masochism. Even if a particular woman really and truly only wants to have sex with jumbo-sized members, a big erection doesn’t automatically equate to a good sexual experience. Much like the prettiest girl in high school tended to get away with being a bitch to everyone else, well-endowed men often seem to consider the size of their package a license for laziness in bed, treating it as the reincarnation of cavemen’s clubs; as though women will simply fall at their feet in a swoon of sexual frenzy from the mere sight of the thing. Having a big one means a whole lot more to men than it does to most women, and it does absolutely nothing to make a man better in bed; in fact, a man with a truly large penis who lacks skill is often actively worse than an average sized man of the same skill because a large erection is difficult to manipulate, a challenge to perform oral sex on, and hurts to fuck if it’s done badly. Global Cock Research and commentary Finally, we’ll finish part 1 of this topic with a man’s insights and research. Size Ain’t Everything, and I can Prove It. How much of an issue is a man’s size? By nh play guy I’m a 45 year old, married man who, I’m reluctant to admit, has cheated many times over the years. Of all the women I’ve been with; and the number is probably close to two dozen; I’ve never once been the “biggest” guy they’d ever been with. Usually I wasn’t as big as the guy they were currently with. Yep, that’s right, most of these women were married; or at least in a relationship with someone else; someone who was well endowed. Maybe I should describe my “self” before I go too far. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m not an under-endowed guy with 3 or 4 inches. Actually, if the statistics I keep hearing are correct; that the average size is between 5 and 6 inches; then I’m on the high end of average or perhaps slightly larger. That said, every woman I’ve been with was used to a bigger guy. Excluding the unusual instance of simply not being compatible, every one of them preferred sex with me over sex with the larger man she was accustomed to. When pressed, they admitted it wasn’t that the other guy was too big; most of them usually did like the size (or at least didn’t object to it). No, it was more the sex itself that wasn’t what it could be for them. My own opinion is that these men are at least somewhat aware that they’re comparatively well-endowed and they think that’s enough. They simply don’t try to please the woman because they think that the sheer size will “impress” them and please them. I, on the other hand, do try to please my partner. Yes, of course there are times when I’m selfish, but that’s the exception. As a rule, I get the most pleasure from the knowledge that my partner was well and thoroughly pleased. So anyway, based on my experience, I’m convinced that size isn’t that much of an issue. It’s probably important to at least have “enough”; whatever that might be; but beyond that, it’s just a bonus. What I had a tricky time understanding was, if I’m average size (statistic-wise), how is it that all these women think I’m small? In all seriousness, I was becoming depressed over it. I started wondering if the statistics were false; made up in order to buoy the fragile male ego. I tried every way I could think of to get to the truth about size. I consulted web sites, articles, reference books; I even asked a few of my female friends about their size preference. Everything seemed to reinforce the 5 to 6 inch average. It seems to me that there are three likely reasons for these women to consider me small. The first Possibility As mentioned above, is that average size is really bigger than I think, and I really am actually small. Now, I really did do my best to find the truth and can tell you without influence of ego that I’m satisfied that’s not the case. So that leaves a second possibility. As alluded to earlier, perhaps these larger endowed men are just selfish and lazy lovers. After all, none of these women were with me because they were dissatisfied with another average or smaller guy. No, they were all used to being with bigger men. So maybe that’s the answer; bigger guys are just lazy lovers. I guess that’s possible. But I can’t believe that’s true of all of them. Sure, maybe some, but all? I have a hard time accepting that. So that brings us to the third possibility. Maybe these women who are fortunate enough to attract well-hung men also just happen to be women who enjoy sexual variety. If we explore that a little deeper, we’ll most likely find that these women are extremely sexual creatures. They probably exude confidence and sexuality. If that’s true, it may stand to reason that only a man who knows he’s well-endowed would have the necessary confidence (and therefore, courage) to actually approach these women. With few exceptions, women will select a man from among those who openly show an interest. Women don’t usually make the first move. Okay, so here’s what we have: a woman who’s very sexy and perhaps a little intimidating. Only the most confident of men will make an advance on her. The reason these men are so sexually confident in the first place is (speculatively) because they’re well endowed. Therefore, the only men these women are ever with are well hung men. But there’s good news. Remember above I said these women like sexual variety? So you and I have a chance. As long as we’re not assholes, and the woman in question (not knowing what’s in our pants) finds us otherwise attractive, we just have to have the balls to approach them. Once we’ve gotten our chance though; and this is important guys; don’t fuck up. Remember, we’re not the big luxury-liner that doesn’t even have to try in order to be impressive. No, we’re more like “the little engine that could”. We keep trying and doing whatever it takes to please her. Don’t forget, odds are, she’s always had bigger guys, so she may be surprised when she sees you (most likely she won’t embarrass you though, so don’t get all uptight). So you have to impress her with your attentiveness and; dare I say it; confidence (not arrogance; that’s for those other guys with the big dicks; you know, the guys who’s women you’re screwing because they are arrogant). Now that we’ve got that straightened out, I’d like to talk about the other side of this; because you may not be aware of it, but this whole thing is a giant double-standard. “What do you mean?” You ask. Here we are, a bunch of average guys, whining about how life’s not fair. “I’d have a better chance with the ladies and I’d be a lot happier and all would be right with the world; if only I had a bigger dick.” For crying out loud, quit your belly-aching. What about all the women who you never even consider because they don’t match you idea of perfection? Most of these women are lovely and sexy in their own right. Unfortunately, it requires someone who’s not narrow-minded to see it. Maybe they have a little more meat on their bones than you like (don’t knock it, you probably don’t know what you’re missing). Maybe they’re a little older (trust me; definitely don’t knock that). Maybe they simply suffer from the curse of being average (sound familiar?). I’ve been with several women; some from each of those “categories”; and let me tell you: they will rock your world if you just give them a chance. Think about this: do you know the other dirty little secret to this double-standard? You know how the guys with the big dicks are arrogant and selfish (some of them)? Well guess what these beautiful, sexy, ideal-looking love goddesses are like (some of them). It works both ways guys. By nh play guy Our next episode will include insights from a hyper-active swinger named Evangelina, whose had many many men, yet her own husband measures a bit shorter than average. To be continued in Part 2 By Dancing Sprite, RisiaSkye, nh play guy, & WorldData.info

A discussion of Womens’ Breasts and Sexuality By  CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321 . Listen to the podcast at How To Sex. We’ve spent a good amount of time and attention on a man’s physiology and the impact on sexuality. Now lets discuss a woman’s breasts. They are often called tits, a term originating from the French word, tetons. You’ve also heard the terms; boobs, knockers, puppies, milkers, bust, mammaries, and other slang descriptives. Let’s start by discussing the variety of female mammary glands, worldwide. A global study recently published several findings. Let’s look at what the Daily Mail website has to say.America, the busty-ful! By CARLY STERN FOR DAILYMAIL.COM PUBLISHED:  June 2016 Sweet Land of Lib-bra-ty! A new study found that American women have the biggest natural breasts in the world. Scientists measured the breasts of women in 108 countries, excluding anyone who’d had breast surgery, was pregnant, or was breastfeeding. American women revealed as having the biggest natural breasts in the world, while Brits come in fifth and Filipinos are last. Researches measured breasts of women born in 108 countries; excluding those who’d had breast surgery, were pregnant, or were breastfeeding. The results clearly found Caucasian United States Americans have, on average, the biggest breasts, followed by Canadians and non-Caucasian U S Americans. Women in Europe tend to have bigger breasts, while women in Africa and Asia (particularly Southeast Asia) have smaller ones. In a not-entirely-surprising bit of news, American women have been found to have the biggest breasts in the world. A group of researchers conducted a study; for science; to compare the average natural breast volume of women born in 108 countries. Excluding women who’d had surgery, were pregnant, were breastfeeding, or had been pregnant within the past 12 months, the scientists found that those born in the USA has significantly more ample assets. In the study published in The Journal of Female Health Sciences, the researchers broke down countries from the bustiest to the most flat-chested, analyzing the mean volume and cup size of each nation.   Nearly 400,000 women around the world were measured for the study, which used EU bra sizing for consistency. While all of the measurements used measuring tape, some also employed ‘visual examination’ and 3D scanning.  Interestingly, the study actually listed averages for Caucasian United States Americans and non-Caucasian United States Americans, finding that Caucasian United States Americans had the highest breast volume of all, with a volume of 1,668ml and a cup size higher than an D, in US sizing. Non-Caucasian Americans were still found to be quite busty, with an average volume of 1,089ml and a C cup in US sizing.  Again, these measurements exclude women with breast implants, meaning the difference in size is due to natural factors, like hormones in meat (though the study didn’t examine contributing factors). The researchers did find, however, that obesity played little part in the relative size of breasts; the average breast volume was found to be large regardless of body weight, with even athletic and slim women being large-breasted.   Canadian women followed Caucasian United States Americans; and the average of all Americans; with an average cup size of C.  Ireland came in third, Poland in fourth, and the United Kingdom in fifth, with an average B cup  in US sizing) and volume of 879ml. While there are certainly some outliers, most countries’ average breast size seems to correspond with the region of the world they’re in.  The biggest breasts are mostly in North America (though Mexico’s average cup size is an AA and Europe, with The Netherlands and Iceland also placing in the top ten.  Most African countries fall into the bottom half of the graph, while Asian countries; particularly those in Southeast Asia; tend to be home to women with the smallest breasts.  On average, the smallest breasts in the world were measured in the Philippines, followed by Malaysia, Bangladesh, Samoa, and the Soloman Islands. In addition to ranking countries, the researchers also found that most women are wearing the wrong bra size; with more women believing their cup size to be larger than it is.   The 8 Most Common Nipple Types and What You Need to Know About Them Nipples come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. BY HANNAH ORENSTEIN 2022 You probably know that breasts come in all different shapes and sizes, but did you know the same goes for nipples? Actually, there are eight different kinds of nipples, says Dr. Tsippora Shainhouse, a board-certified dermatologist and pediatrician. All nipples are normal, and in fact, it’s possible to have a combination of two or more types (like protruding and bumpy, or flat and hairy). It’s also possible that your nipples don’t exactly fit into any of these categories; and that’s totally normal, too. Before we break down the different types of nipples, it’s helpful to familiarize yourself with the anatomy of the breast and some definitions you may not know. You most likely have heard the terms nipple and areola before, but there’s a chance you might now know exactly what they mean. The nipple is a small projection located at the center of your breast, while the areola is the pigmented circular area surrounding the nipple, according to the Cleveland Clinic. This area looks different from person to person. Now that you know a little bit more about the nipple, it’s time to get into the specifics. Below, we break down everything you need to know about the eight different types of nipples in the world. Protruding Nipples: Protruding nipples are those that are raised a few millimeters above the surface of the areola and point outwards. When cold or stimulated, the nipple can harden and become more pronounced. Women with significantly protruding nipples tend to draw attention, whether they want the attention or not. A contemporary fad is for women to have their nipples pierced with a post affixed from one side to the other, which further enhances the nipple, and showed even through multiple layers of clothing. Protruding nipples are associated with a state of sexual arousal, and many women will maximize the appearance, to signal their sexuality, to others. Other women may feel shame for having protruding nipples, fearing others may inaccurately associate this natural variation with lustful preoccupations. Flat Nipples: The entire nipple is flat and tends to remain level with the areola. Like a protruding nipple, a flat nipple may harden and become more pronounced when cold or stimulated. But sometimes a woman with flat nipples may not have any protrusion, even during a climax. Puffy Nipples: The entire areola and nipple area looks like a small, raised mound on top of the breast. The nipple can harden and become more pronounced when cold or stimulated. An inverted nipple retracts inwards. Sometimes, you can use your fingers to bring it out, but sometimes, the muscles are too tight. Inverted Nipples: A further variation of this is the Unilateral inverted nipple. One nipple is raised, while the other is inverted. If you’ve always had unilateral inverted nipples, that’s perfectly normal. However, if this is a new development (as in, your nipples used to both be the same and now one is inverted and the other is raised), it might be a sign of breast cancer, infection, or injury, according to the Cleveland Clinic, so schedule an appointment to see your doctor. Bumpy Nipples: It’s common to have bumps on the areola surrounding the nipple. These bumps are called Montgomery glands and can sometimes look like whiteheads. You might be able to squeeze dead skin cells out of them, but don’t play with them. Every person with breasts has the glands, but some people are bumpier than others. The aeriola has several milk ducts, and these openings often result in a textured skin. Hairy Nipples: Stray, dark hairs, growing out of the areola area, are normal. Everyone has hair follicles, but some people are hairier than others. They might be fine or coarse. It’s safe to pluck them out with a tweezer. Just be careful; the skin is super sensitive down there. Supernumerary Nipples: Some people have extra, smaller nipples, but they’re typically harmless and not very noticeable. They tend to either look like flat moles, or like a fully-formed, raised bump. Some may have them removed by a medical professional. by HANNAH ORENSTEIN Seventeen US  A discussion of people’s nipple & breast preferences. By Nondescript In CT I’ll first disclose that I’m a middle-age man. It appears to me that, as expected, overall size of a breast is a factor to a woman’s appeal. There is definitely a sizeable and candid “bigger is better” contingent out there. What I have found interesting is that there is an equally represented “smaller, firmer” faction. What I have also found interesting is who, in general; tends to be in which group. Grande Rack Younger, testosterone-driven males tend to express more preferences for the bigger breasts. Although there does tend to be an upper limit for most; ‘roughly larger than a volleyball’, they do not appear to differentiate further; natural or implants, nipple length or circumference, even color of nipples and breasts don’t appear to factor in much. This is the “Great Rack!” crowd that loves the restaurant “Hooters;” and keeps girly Magazines in business. Don’t misinterpret; I do not criticize or belittle this group. I have merely noted certain other common interests members of this group tend to have; in general. Women with large breasts tend to have one of two general viewpoints. One viewpoint is the “eye contact” group. These women are frustrated at the attention their breasts draw; guys don’t make eye contact but just stare openly at their chest. They tend to have almost a combination of shame and anger at their situation. These women pretty much stay away from a breast or nipple-associated forum; they don’t like theirs so they certainly don’t want to see or talk about others. I know one large-chested woman in her 50s who has spent so much of her life trying to de-emphasize her breasts, she almost always walks with her arms folded across her chest and never wears anything that would reveal even a hint of cleavage. The other viewpoint of women with large breasts is what I call the “Oh, yeah!” group. These women love the fact that they have large breasts. They like the attention they get because of them and will do things to emphasize them. They are also not above using their…assets to their advantage; everything from getting out of speeding tickets, to making a sale or getting a promotion can be accomplished, at least in part, by using their breasts against men susceptible to their power and influence. I have not had much intimate relations with large-chested women, but I have had some candid discussions with some. What I found most interesting about the sexual side of large breasts is that it is not necessarily a male power/control “thing” when a guy “titty-fucks” a woman. That was always my assumption, but more than one woman has informed me that they like it also. They can get a sense of power and control over the man by doing this; “I can get you off with just my breasts.” Girl Next Door Who would you guess to be in the “smaller, firmer” coalition? It is my observation that women of all ages and older, more mature men tend to express preference for breasts in this overly-simplistic category. The women expressing interests in breasts appear to view the entire shape and symmetry of the breast and nipple together. They don’t tend to focus on the extremes; very long nipples, huge breasts, etcetera. Breasts that are firm, capped with an erect, well-defined nipple and those that have a bit of a natural “teardrop” droop with a modest but well-defined nipple appear to be favorites. The interests of older men in smaller breasts can be best summarized by the “mouthful” paradigm; more than a mouthful is unnecessary. Oh, don’t be fooled; those guys have no problems with large breasts per se, but they are old enough and wise enough to know that breasts are a source of pleasure for a woman, more so than they are for a man. I must admit that I am a member of this group. We love everything about breasts, but we are most interested in using them to pleasure our partners, and the smaller breasts are more, manageable. There is also a subtle, rarely discussed concern on our part that if we spend a lot of time on foreplay with breasts on a large-chested woman, she may think we are actually in the more superficial “bigger is better” contingent. If they are average-sized, or smaller breasts, our attention on them rarely gets misinterpreted. Unlike the “bigger is better” group, there are well-defined sub-groups in the “smaller, firmer” group. The most well-known would be the “itty bitty titty committee.” The ranks of this group tend to be filled by women with very small breasts and men who love a long, hard nipple more than the surrounding breast. I love this group for two reasons. First, I find women who are comfortable and proud of their breasts regardless of size and shape to be very comfortable and open about their sexuality. That is always a huge turn-on. The other reason is that I am one of those men who cares more about the nipple than the breast as a whole. I find it much more erotic to have a long, hard nipple in my mouth or fingers while a woman expresses her enjoyment of associated feelings and sensations, than to have really large breasts that have wide, semi-flaccid nipples that don’t have the same effect on the woman under similar ministrations. School Girls There is also the “school-girl” sub-group. Women with a youthful appearance and small, firm breasts are the preference for this group. I call it the “school-girl” group because the women of interest to this group tend to be young; breasts that may still be developing and are therefore small and firm. To me, this may be the most controversial and divisive group there is. There is almost a stigma associated with being in the “school-girl” group. If an older male expresses an interest or approval of a young woman with small, firm breasts, that opinion is derided with the offending party being labeled a “dirty old man.” Terms like “jailbait” and “help her with her homework” are slung to belittle and demean the choice, even in a friendly, “all-opinions welcome” forum such as the Nipples forum I introduced at the beginning. I would also place Asian women as a subject of interest to this group. They tend to have a very youthful appearance and smaller, firmer breasts than their Caucasian counterparts. What I find interesting is that those expressing a preference for “Asian women” also tend to be drawn to Caucasian women who skew younger, smaller and firmer, but they won’t necessarily admit to this due to the “stigma.” I would challenge all of them to review a stack of 100 black and white photos, full frontal (face obscured) and side view (without showing face, butt or legs), of Asian women and Caucasian women with dark pink or brown nipples. I seriously doubt they would find any of the Caucasian women any less attractive or desirable than the Asians. Don’t get me wrong; my point has nothing to do with race. I love women of all races equally. My point is that I feel the Asian “lovers” that ridicule those that prefer young, small and firm Caucasians are simply being hypocritical. Finally, there is the wrath of the more mature woman (say 35+) to a man expressing appreciation of a young, small and firm woman. Again, they don’t appear to be as vocal about a man expressing a liking for Asian women, just when they express similar thoughts and opinions about a Caucasian woman. It is as if they consider the Asian preference a perfectly healthy and acceptable fetish, whereas a preference for Caucasian women with similar physical characteristics is seemingly akin to pedophilia. My overall preference is for mature women; I find their intellect and comfort with their sexuality to be very attractive and erotic. However, some young women can convey that same self-confidence and desire borne of self-awareness, and these women I find equally attractive. If they happen to be an 18 year old, small and firm Caucasian, so be it. However, if a woman with those characteristics happens to be an attractive 50 year old African-American grandma with very large breasts, I would probably gravitate to her more than to the 18 year old. But I can still find the 18 year old to be attractive without being a “dirty old man.” It is sad that there are social issues concerning nipples and breasts. It is not fair that a woman with large breasts may feel compelled to hide them, but it happens. Men should not be made to feel guilty at finding a young, nubile woman to be attractive, but in today’s climate of sex crimes, that also is a fact of life. As stated previously, nipples and breasts are good and an endless variety is truly a gift for us all to enjoy. After all, even the holy clerics of multiple world religions agree with the text of scripture which says;  “Enjoy the wife of thy youth, and let her breasts satisfy you at all times.” Let’s finish with an essay from a buxom college coed. My Boobs A 22-year-old reflects on growing up with a big chest. By zipado 321 Right now, I’m a 22 year old girl with a 38D-cup chest. It’s official: I’m a college gal with big boobs. I recently had a late-night chat with a friend who is pretty flat chested, and I walked away with a new appreciation for my breasts– and I realized the impact they have had on my life. She made me realize that being busty had encouraged my sexual side to come out at times when for her as a petite girl she had more of an option to think things out. It all started when my breasts started to appear early, a good six months before anyone else in my class of 200 even could think about boobs. I’ll admit it was a weird experience for me. I didn’t have any friends in a similar situation, I didn’t have an older sibling, and I wasn’t close with Mom like I am now. So I decided to hide my ever-growing chest. Maybe, I hoped, I wouldn’t have big boobs like she did. I was able to dance around the issue by wearing sweaters and other baggy clothes, but Mom finally caught on and by the spring I was in my first training bra. I felt so incredibly embarrassed and for a little while I stupidly blamed my Mom somehow. By the end of the year the word was out in school: I was the first girl in the grade with boobs. It definitely effected me because I stuck out like a sore thumb—never a good thing in middle school. The other, more popular girls resented it, and the boys didn’t know how to react to it. I started to keep more and more to myself as my chest grew, and by the end of middle school I was one frustrated and fed up girl. That all would change in high school and I knew it. I walked in the first day as a freshman girl wearing a 36D cup bra and a tight white t-shirt. That definitely stuck out, but I quickly learned it made me stick out differently than in middle school. My chest was a good thing now. It got me attention and it made me finally feel appreciative about my breasts. Kids in the older grades noticed me and I quickly fell into an older crowd. I just loved the attention from the juniors and seniors, but with it came the pressures of the older high school kids, namely drinking and sexual stuff. I had personally ruled out having sex just to be popular, but I figured less than that was just having fun. As the other girls in my grade were going out on first dates, I was in the basement of a party with a drunken senior’s hand on my breast. As other girls were enjoying Christmas break by having their first kiss, I was nervously being pressured into jerking a guy off—I just had to, I was told, because my tits had turned him on so much and he needed a release. As other girls were being felt up for the first time, I was pressured more and more often into giving blow jobs to a particular guy I liked. I had told him I wouldn’t swallow (it really scared me then, but looking back I’m not sure why). When he complained a lot and implied I was getting to be no fun, I ended up telling him that I still wouldn’t swallow, but he could cum on my naked breasts. He eagerly accepted and I felt happy that once again my big boobs had saved the day. What was weird about all of that was figuring out what I meant to people. I knew I really enjoyed the power and pleasure of being sexual. Each time I was there on my sore knees, my eyes closed tightly, reaching for a tissue to wipe some guy’s cum off my cheek, neck, and breasts, I felt that I was the real winner there. I was getting attention and appreciation for being the person that I was, I thought. But I also knew deep down that in one way nothing had changed. I was once the middle school girl with “the big boobies.” Now I was the high school girl with “the big tits and nice mouth.” Girls my age still resented me, and guys my age and older still couldn’t figure me out, even if they did enjoy using me. I was getting tired of being the young and easy chick and decided that guys couldn’t get with me so easily. Suddenly I was spending a lot more time alone again. For the rest of high school, and since then, I won’t usually put out unless I’m in a relationship, and I certainly feel better about myself. But still I know when a guy says he loves me, even if he means it, my breasts have helped him come my way. Not that I don’t love sex, because I’m still very sexually minded! I guess I’m just not sure if my big breasts brought me increased sexuality, or if my already high sexuality has fit well with my big breasts. I really really love being sexual and even though my breasts have given me a different road to take. Each and every time I feel a hand on one of my breasts I feel a rush of gratitude and shame at the same time. I love the feeling but I wonder if I’m still that teenager appreciating being humiliated by an older guy as he cums all over me. I’ve known since puberty hit that having a big chest makes me different, and if I have the proper outlook, they can make me special. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. zipado 321 By  CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321, for Literotica, Seventeen, & DailyMail

What every man wishes you knew By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn…well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there. Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT… Well, ladies, I catch them…and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me. Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times. Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them. You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s… she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant! Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t…You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you didn’t keep your buns firm or your underwear sexy. You bored him into leaving and you berated him for not liking you that way. And you follow it up with insulting him after the fact that he’s shallow, and he has the problems! So were the cupcakes for the bake sale really THAT important? Cause you sure act like they are! Men want fantasy, they want entertainment, they want the princess we are, they want the fairy sprite, the little girl in us who dreams, they want eternal youth from our INSIDES, but they also want the slut lurking within us all, they want excitement and to fly, and then land safely, they want to be our wings, our angels of destiny and if we deny them that part of us, if we refuse to go with them or let them take us on their flights of fancy, they lose, but so do we, all we are is housekeepers then, neither queen or whore, and not their partner in life either, we become grounded as the world moves on without us. We just exist to make dinner, when we could be going on exotic trips and living a life of dreams. We choose to be dull and boring, and then whine they don’t. Classic sex symbols, from Mae West to Madonna, from Liz Taylor to Brittney Spears, are women men dream of, women of passion and fire, women who are playful and adventurous and have a natural sexuality. Men, dream of a nymphomaniac in their lives, or at least one who can be one at times? They want to be cherished, and adored and worshipped, and they should be! They want to be teased and pleased and played with. They want a playmate, a friend and a confidant. They want a woman who makes them proud, who their friends go WOW, where’d you find THAT one, you must be a stud huh? To keep HER! It’s a man thing, it’s pride, its competitiveness, it’s what makes them happy…its what makes them manly, ladies, if you want him to be more of a man, be more of a woman! They want a princess to provide for, they want a woman who sparkles at them when they do things for her, and sighs and coos. They want her to be pleased, and surprised by their efforts to win her and appease her. They want to chase her and feel her give in to them. Ladies the guys want romance, not pink lace, real romance, the kind with feeling, the kind that has candlelight and soft music, and sighs, they want the longing glances and the deep involvement. And we sort of end up handing them Chef Boyardee and saying What’s your problem? Well, gosh, dinner from a can, might be some of it, the Dog eats dinner from a can, and we pet the darned dog at least? Or I pet mine, but maybe my dog lives better than your man does too? Consider that. That’s sort of sad isn’t it, for him. They want her to be glamorous at times, slinky and sexy. They want her to be natural at times, and able to get ready in less than an hour, they want her in baseball caps and jeans, as they sit and fantasize about how hot she was last night, and watch her looking like a tomboy now. They want her to like their bodies, and revel in them, as males, to act like a greedy sexual creature who can’t get enough, at times, as well as listen to their thoughts, and try to make their dreams come true. They want her to be all the women in the world at once, pure and innocent, devilish and dangerous, squirmy and high spirited, needy and soft, nurturing and comforting, and sexually awake and aware of sensual pleasures. They want the mother in us, the sister, and the slut, they want us to be as multi-dimensional as they are. They want the lady in the living room, the whore in the bedroom, and always have. Be that, and able to carry on a conversation about something other than yourself and your interests, and they will all eat from your hand, with pleasure. And if we give them that, they really don’t care if we make dinner, or vacuum, they’ll do it, they’ll hire a maid, or they’ll take us out to dinner! Trust me on this, ladies, I don’t do housework! I do keep my passport handy just in case. It takes so long to go back for it, is why, we may miss the flight! I go places, I do things, I get taken out, and away, and I love that I do, they carry my bags, they open doors, and they buy me things to please me! And they call later! I love men, and it shows, and they love me right back! They don’t want to hear, oooh, yuck, and no way, and you’re kidding, I’m not doing that! They want her to blush and go really? You want me to do that, for real, and try it…they want us to tell them that things feel good, and why, and how to touch us. They want to please us so we do go out of our minds with pleasure. They want to know what we think, but not about the sale at the grocery store, to them it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t! Who cares if lettuce is twenty cents less, like change matters? Now if you could do something sexual with that lettuce they’d want to know about that. They want to be pleased, surprised, seduced, coveted, treated with awe, and worshipped, that’s all! They want to be on a pedestal, just like they put us on one! And for that, they will give us everything they have, can find, can earn and look for more if it pleases us. We become their goddess, but only if we make them our gods… I’m sexual, very…I like sex, I like a lot of it’s aspects, I enjoy exploring it, and adventuring in it. And there are men, who don’t like it as much as I do, that prefer quieter realms and softer ones, there are compatitble types, there are. But they still crave the sex, the affection and the bonding, and they have to have it ladies, it isn’t about they physically need, it’s how they express themselves to us, if we would only learn to listen! It’s their language, it’s primal, it’s instinctive and it holds them totally in its’ thrall, when we deny them that, they have to go looking, it’s male. They cannot survive without it, and neither can I. I like a lot of different flavors in life, from the spicy to the sweet, to the hot and ice cold, salt and vinergar to sublimely mild. I like tastes, I like feelings, I like emotional intercourse, which by definition is communication. When we bond together in physical unity we can’t hide from each other, we allow each other inside us, and to me, life without that is pretty boring. Changing our approach is so easy, it really is. When we join that exercise class at the gym, instead of whining about the effort and expecting to be praised, all we have to do is strip down and show them our behinds daily and say, “What do you think, is it getting smaller, is it getting tighter?” And they love it, and smile, and go hmmm, some, come over here, let me check closer. Then it becomes, for him, we work out, and then they’re more than happy to share it…they’ll check our progress with glee…and insist we take more classes, if they get to be part of it like THAT? If we make dinner, add candles, dress for him, cook in just an apron for heavens sake? Want him to take out the trash more? Stand there naked. Wear a thong…and say, Like this? Well, as soon as I take out the trash? If I’m still in this mood…the trash is gone, girls, never to be mentioned again…if he forgets? Wear that same outfit…he will learn fast…see thong, take out garbage, get some, it’s like electricity to men. They’ll move so fast and while they’re out there, they’ll put your car away and close the garage door, they do not want more interruptions! As in phew, got her mind on me finally…I got to keep remembering that trash, or yikes she’s gonna find someone who will! Men learn so much quicker than we do. It is just about motivation, use that, there is no You forgot the trash again, oh no, he won’t forget…every day for six years, he’ll remember the naked woman saying I’m gonna take out the trash now…like his own private pin up girl. And kids? Oh right those anti-romance creatures, uh, feed them early, put them to bed, they’ve had you all day? Daddy’s turn. Get a sitter, trade with a neighbor down the street, you keep mine tonight, I”ll keep yours tomorrow night…just give that man, some of what he needs, he’ll be happy! He had the kids, he loves them, just once in a while, he wants to play with the grownups too. And it doesn’t hurt the kids to be told, Mommy and Daddy are going to play together tonight, it’s our turn. You guys are going to bed early so we can. Give you Dad kiss now, night night. And if I hear one more woman tell me she’s tired, in this day of electric appliances and television, here’s my answer…you will be more tired if you work all day and come home and then take care of the kids and have no one to help. Take a nap, plan it, don’t wear your self out dusting once in awhile, schedule your man like he matters! Quit whining, once women made the soap, spun the cloth, plowed fields, baked bread, ground flour, knit the socks, and still had the energy to kiss him hello and wrap her arms around him when he walked in, so what is your excuse? The dishwasher door was so heavy to close you’re tired now? He worked all day, he’s tired too! And all he wants is a cuddle and a squeeze and a big smile to see him and to cop a feel, like that’s hard to give him? Uh, give it to him ladies, or know, someone else will. Men need several things, acceptance of their masculinity, pride in their existence, self esteem, love, affection, sensual pleasures, credit for their contributions, titillation and warm welcome, and to be important in their own lives and for that, they will give you everything they can gather to honor you and please you, they’ll lay anything at your feet, if you just treat them with respect and admiration. It’s our call girls, it is…and it’s ok with me, if you don’t want to wake up to it! Cause your husband takes me to Mexico while you’re busy at the PTA meeting, and I like going on trips to exotic destinations…and being treated like I’m important and wined and dined and catered to. You can do the PTA if you want? It’s ok with me! Doubt me? Ask any man. By almost for Literotica. from How-To Sex Podcast

A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them. Frustration; it's a bitch; it can be good, really good, or very, very bad. The idea is to make the sexual frustration great for her, so that when the time comes, she is so wild for you, the sex is mind blowing for both of you. This can happen every time, if you know what to do, and how to approach her the right way. There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex. 1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs 2 Planning: Take Your Time 3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew. 1. KNOW YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS: You HAVE to know what she likes and doesn't like, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. If she is frustrated emotionally, you aren't gonna get anywhere with her. Meet her emotional needs first. If she is not feeling loved, or appreciated, if you have troubles in your relationship, then take the time to fix it. THEN focus on the sexual needs. (Usually bad sex is what creates the core of relationship problems.) Not every woman is the same, and not every woman will reach orgasm the same way. Some never will because their partner is too impatient, or her EMOTIONAL needs aren't being met. If your too embarrassed, or impatient to ask why she isn't enjoying it, (if she isn't climaxing, she isn't enjoying it) she will be very reluctant to have sex with you. If your wife/partner consistently refuses your advances, makes excuses, rolls her eyes, snorts, laughs, and won't give you any; YOUR most likely the source of the problem. WHY? An emotionally and sexually satisfied woman will not refuse her man sex, at least for long. She will hunger for it, like a cat in heat. If you can't answer these questions, don't be so quick to call her frigid. When a man really knows what his woman wants, and actually takes the time to give it to her, she will almost NEVER refuse him intimacy. She won't WANT to refuse you. In fact, once you master the three keys, she may be the one begging you for sex. THE 20 QUESTIONS: 1; What are her sexual fantasies? 2; What gets her in the mood? 3; What turns her off? 4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry? 5; Is she feeling loved by you? 6; Is she feeling desirable to you? 7; How does she like to be touched? 8; How does she hate to be touched? 9; How does she like to touch herself? 10; How does she WISH you would touch her? 11; What makes her feel more relaxed? 12; What makes her feel uncomfortable? 13; What makes her hot for YOU? 14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex? 15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes? Ask her these questions first: 16; What kind of relationship do we have now? 17; What kind of relationship do you want? 18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month? 19; What can I do for you today to make your day better? Ask every day. At first she may say "nothing" If she does, do something spontaneous anyway, like pick her a flower, fold the laundry, rub her feet, let her pick the movie, brush her hair for her, put the kids to bed for her, run an errand, make breakfast in bed, give her an extra long kiss goodbye, and a wink, dedicate a song to her, clean the kitchen for her, write her a love letter, rub her shoulders, plan a picnic, send flowers to her work, just because, ; there are a million little things a woman would love for you to do for her, non sexual things you can do; pick one and just do it without being asked. 20; Find out her Love Languages (Read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman) Even if SHE doesn't know them, you will be able to recognize them. Make sure your filling her tank with the right gas; (you'll have to read the book) If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's most likely the main reason you dont have the sex life you want. It's your job to find out. She WANTS you to know the answers to these questions, and probably doesn't know how to bring it up without risking you shutting her down, because women know most men HATE talking about the relationship. I think it's because most men don't know HOW. Men, dare to be different and actually talk about your relationship and how to improve your sex life. Use the questions as a guide. She might think you've lost your mind because such a thing is so foreign to you, and it's the LAST thing she ever thought you would say. Feel free to print this out and show it to her, I don't mind. Pick a time when the two of you are not busy, and NOT trying to be romantic. Shock her speechless and tell her your going to dedicate the next (however many days) making the relationship better, not just sexually. Make sure to take this seriously, be open, be honest, and make sure she knows all YOUR answers to these questions too. You'll get a MUCH better sexual response from her once you address her emotional needs. THE HEART OF A WOMAN (From the book Captivating, by Staci Eldridge) At our core, women are just more emotional than men. Learn to deal with it. We CAN'T change that, because we are designed that way. For a woman to feel most fulfilled, romantic and loved, she must have three basic emotional desires of her heart met: 1: Every woman wants to be romanced—and not just when your trying to seduce her into bed. We all have a desire to have a great relationship, and we recognize one when we see one. We recognize a bad one too. We KNOW when we are really, truly loved, and when we are not. If your not really in love with her, she knows it, trust me. 2: Every woman wants to have a beauty to unviel. We want to know you find us enticing, attractive, lovely, radiant, sexy. There is a reason little girls like to twirl around in princess dresses and like hearing she is beautiful. Face it, you want to be the prince who comes to beauty's rescue. 3: Every woman wants to know she is irreplaceable to you. Just how every man wants a battle to fight, and a grand adventure to go on, the lady in your life wants to know that she has a place in that adventure, by your side. She wants to know that you need her, (even if you don't think you do.) FYI, you need her too. This first step is vital to a great sexual relationship with any woman. If you skip it, you'll be doomed to, at worst, very little bad sex; to, at best, mediocre sex, for the rest of your life. Ok, now for the good stuff you've been waiting for. 2 Planning: Take Your Time This is important, because women are like crock pots, men are like microwaves. It just takes us longer to heat up. Or, if you like, women are like diesel engines; once we get revved up, we can go for miles (hours). You're the mechanic. Some women like to be taken by surprise and ravished, but most of us need a lot more time to REALLY get into it. A woman's sexuality is like a plant. It needs to be tended to, taken care of, watered regularly. Being that you're the one with the hose, you're the gardener. It's up to you to water her plant, or it will wilt and die. (I'm talking foreplay here boys, not just intercourse.) When a woman's emotional needs are being met and she feels loved and secure in the relationship, she will bloom sexually as well. (ie: you have more, hotter sex). This is where asking all those questions pays off. Some women never really bloom because the man in her life is too selfish to meet her needs—and has no freaking clue what he's missing! Pay attention to her answers, and do your best to provide her with what she says she needs. Even if you don't get it all right at first, she will appreciate the effort you put into being romantic, and the more comfortable she will become sharing her sexual side with you. For a woman, a fantastic night of great sex actually begins that morning. A woman actually requires several dozen non sexual touches a day. Basically, we like to be touched, but not alwasys sexually. Holding hands, hugging, a caress, can be enough to make us feel the first twinges of desire for you. If your not the one doing ALL the touching, she is likely to find someone who will. Here is an example: Take the time to romance her all day. Set the alarm at least an hour earlier if you can and just spend time kissing. Tell her what it is that attracts you to her, all the reasons you love her. Tell her how much you are looking forward to the night. Bring her breakfast in bed. Take a shower together; tease her a bit, but don't finish; no matter how much you both want to. The goal is to build up to the night time action. Take the time to kiss her at the door; until you can't wait to come home at night, and she can't wait to have you home. During breaks and on lunch, call her or text her; say something sexy that will make you both wish you were home right then. Arrange for her to get flowers sent to the house before you get home, or leave love notes where she will find them after you leave for work; in her car, in her purse, on the bathroom mirror, in the desk. Whatever. When you get home, unplug the phone, answering machine, disconnect the doorbell, cart the kids off to a sitter, or grandmas, or send them to a friends house for a sleepover, get dressed up, and take her out to dinner, it doesn't have to be expensive. Or make a meal at home. Cooking together can be very erotic; especially if its done naked. (Don't cook with hot grease if you go naked.) Feed each other; really talk to each other, not about kids, school, work, bills, health problems, the respective parents; nothing that will kill the mood. Be romantic, be silly, be seductive. Take your time and enjoy the meal. Later, take turns giving each other a massage; with warm, not hot, oils (even olive oil) tease each other; caress; discover every inch of her skin, find her non obvious erroneous zones, (collarbone, neck, ears, inner arm, feet, back of knees, her butt, her back, her sides); its different for every woman, and she may not even know all of them. Help her discover all of them. Make her bloom. Patience is the key here. No matter how impatient you feel, take a deep breath; do multiplication tables, count to 20, whatever works, and keep going. Focusing on her pleasure will pay off for you in the end when she calls you the best lover she's ever had, no matter what size you are. (It really doesn't matter to most women, especially if your focusing on foreplay. If your insecure about it, don't be. Trust me; if you tease her enough, she won't be thinking about that, and neither should you.) Caress her, kiss her, lick her; everywhere but her breasts and her clit. This teasing will drive her nuts. You may have to keep her hands off of you. Be prepared to tie her (use soft materials, use a square knot.) down so she can't hurry things up. Don't stop teasing her until she's begging. This process could take hours, if you're that patient. 3 Make Her Wild Ok, now that you've sufficiently romanced, wined, dined, tickled, teased and tormented her, turn up the heat on her crock pot. Focus on her breasts for at least an hour; see if you can make her climax just by teasing them. Most women can, if they are aroused enough. Make it your goal of the night to see how many orgasms she can have. Don't be afraid to take directions, and let her know you WANT her to tell you what she likes. No matter how tempted you are, don't speed things up; keep teasing and her; go slow, no matter what she says. Find her clit, or let her show put your hand there, tease her with your mouth, lips, tongue, fingers, feathers, toys; be very gentle, and ask her to direct you; don't be shy; the better she feels, the better she will make you feel later. Don't use your teeth unless she asks you to. (Imagine how it would feel if she bit down on you) It doesn't feel good for us either. Make her cum a minimum of 3-5 times before you continue. At some point, she will probably become overly sensitive; back off a little and let her cool down some. Continued stimulation would be similar to her biting down on your balls right as your trying to come. It hurts, and not it a good way. A multi-orgasmic woman can have several climaxes one right after the other; you'll know your successful if she is moaning loudly, begging, calling your name, screaming, thrashing, biting, hissing, swearing, clawing, pulling your hair, begging you to stop but holding you to her, bucking, tossing her head, whimpering, crying, trembling, rolls her eyes in the back of her head and gets as stiff as a board, squirts, grunts, groans, claws the sheets, and finally, screams at the top of her lungs. Only then do you finally enter her. Even then, don't just pound away at her, find a rhythm. She will be a wildcat; because you actually took the time to please her the way she always imagined someone would. Not every encounter has to be as detailed as this one, or as planned out, but the same amount of effort should be there, no matter how creative you get. Any man that takes the time to make a woman experience the best sex of her life, will never again be wishing he had more sex. She will never want to deny you sex, but you have to be willing to wait to get her to that point. Once she has, she will bloom sexually, and pursue sex with you probably several times a week, if not every day, twice a day, and you'll have moved well beyond mediocre sex. You won't be the one begging for sex, anymore, and she will begin seducing you, so long as you make sure to tell her what you like. You will never have to worry about her finding another man, so long as you keep in tune (you're the mechanic remember?) with her emotional and sexual needs, and once she blooms sexually and becomes a tiger in bed, you won't want to find woman either. PS; Every woman WANTS to be a tiger for the man she loves; he just has to help her to bloom first. By Lillianna Morgan for Literotica.

A few things that gross me out about porno myths By LargoKitt. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. What I HATE About Porn Right up front let me make it clear that I watch erotica, read erotica, and write erotica. Please scope out my stories or poems or even my art and I think you will be pleased. Porn is very ancient stuff. Prehistoric people were making images designed to turn them on, and I'm sure they were sitting around the campfire and telling spicy stories. Motivating people to do the deed and plant the seed has been a major push for millennia. Hindus and Greeks and lots of other folks have gods who celebrate procreation. Heck, the Bible contains the steamy Song of Solomon. And in Genesis, God never said, "Don't fuck." He said, "Be fruitful and multiply." Don’t Make Me Feel Shitty Point 1: BDSM. I don't think sex is dirty and I really don't much like stories or vids or auds that portray people who feel like shit for feeling horny. Guys should not have to apologize for hard-ons they get in an honest scenario. Horny is built into the machinery. But hang on, I understand that if you were brought up in a strict religious household where touching yourself or anyone else without a legal contract will cause Old Scratch himself to snatch you by the short hairs and drag you to Hell where he'll fry you till you're a crispy critter; if that's the crap that's in the back of your head when you spot a hottie and the spirit rises; well then I can see how being bad and feeling good might end up in the back of the same pickup truck. Since religious figures, priests and preachers and missionaries and nuns, are placed artificially off-limits, I can see how getting under that dark robe might be a turn on. But a story about raping a priest or a nun who used to humiliate you in school. That's not erotica. That's a revenge horror story and I hate it being considered a turn-on. And stories about religious folks exploiting or hurting kids is never sexy. It's criminal. I personally despise stories that feature people despising each other, especially in the bedroom. I might write a story about people playing at humiliating one another. I can imagine people, maybe a woman CEO who is always in charge and demanding of respect, enjoying a fantasy where someone calls her a 'stupid worthless slutty cock-sucking bitch'. Same with a male CEO who likes to be ridden and whipped like a stubborn mule. I can imagine those characters getting relief from constant responsibility. I can see how the sting of a little pain might lift their spirits. But I switch off when the sex is about the pain. Oh I get how a spanking or being bound and restrained might raise the stakes of sensation. But then the pain is about the sex. And the sex plus pain is for the pleasure of the person being bound or 'punished' not for some nut who gets his or her nut by hurting other people. I understand if your kink swells when you have someone in your power. But for me sex is always a dance with equal partners even if you're playing that it's not. So. Stories teach. And I HATE stories or videos that teach men that it's okay to treat women like shit. Also stories that teach women that the only way they can tell a man what she wants is to be a cruel slutty dom. Or little girls who need permission from 'daddy.' Or independent women just waiting to be enslaved by a cruel master who "knows just what they want." Bottom line: whatever your kink, sex should be fun for all members of the party and their members, and fun shouldn't make you feel weird and guilty. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Point 2 -- Girls just wanna have fun. I HATE porn that is all about the man getting his nut with no concern for the woman getting hers. What's up with that? Are most pornos secretly for men who are into men? Why in Baal's name do we always spend so much time looking at dude's dicks? And balls? And assholes? Maybe a viewer who isn't built like superman likes to pretend he is the buff cut flexing shiny well-waxed, spray-tanned hunk who is drilling a hottie who is lying about what a turn-on he is. But how about, for once, having a Don Juan or Lothario who is actually a role model for how to light a lady's fire? Because if you have the basic equipment, but really know what to do with it your reputation as a cocksmith may grow, and most often it won't be about your cock. The guy may be necessary in the video to show what turns her on. But then I want to spend lots of time seeing her get with it. I don't want a guys ass between me and the beautiful stuff any more than it has to. And for pity's sake, porn makers and porn writers, show us what is happening with her, how this lick or that deep plunge is beginning to light her up. Some of you dudes may be all about pretending you are this super-stud and this total hottie just wants to be drilled by you until your jackhammer has busted the pavement. But really, that's not as much fun as taking the time to wind her up and truly get her truly excited. Hard truth: Jamming your dick is the LAST turn-on a woman usually wants to feel to get her off. Everything else you do: flirting with her, complimenting her, giving her a gift, feeding her, kissing her, gently touching her, rubbing her, fingering and licking, ALL are bigger turn-ons than your dick. She may want your dick, because it feels good, fills her up in a way she likes, connects in a powerful way, shows you want her and only her so damn bad, and are eager to feed her your seed. But her orgasm usually comes from the other strokes. And for lesbian couples this literally goes double. Two loving gals are not usually eager to pretend to be hard dick-jamming men. Lesbian Porn Point 3 - "Lesbian" videos (or stories) are not made for women, even though most women now and again fantasize about having it on with another woman. But how often does anyone actually ask the women to write the script about how two women come to get it on? Note how many writers who identify as lesbians or bi, put at the top of the story, something like, "If you just want to get right to the sex you may be disappointed, because this story has a slow build. That is because, gentlemen, that the lead up in a lesbian story is the lust. So how about more videos in which the women take their time playing with each other? Not hours of loud smacky fake kisses and tongue tangling. No. Real attention to all the erogenous zones: the neck, the ears, lots of exploring tender skin, the talking. Seeing each face come alive. And always, take your time. After all; what's your hurry? Butt? Point 4: But, but, butt. Maybe there was a time when the idea and the illustration of a man having penetrative intercourse with another person's anus was a strange and exotic turn-on. Now you have to plow through the butt shots to get to any other kind of sexual activity. Enough already. Or put the butt play into a special search for those you don't lift off except when imagining back door action. Otherwise, go easy. And that means planning your camera angles so we aren't looking at someone's shitter when hot romantic sex is supposed to be happening. Roughly Sensual? Point 5 - Rougher and tougher is not hotter. Oh, sure, sometimes jamming, and slappling and hurling her (him) around is at the peak of turn-on. Sometimes the opposite is true. The smooth strokes can really reach her. Gentle that breast. Please that little spot on the side of her neck. Sweetly tickle that clit hood. Do spend lots of time on the breasts and nipples. Stroke and kiss and suck them a dozen ways and do it again. Let us see her face and hear her voice as this happens. Talk to her. It doesn't matter if the vid is shot in Slovenian. All the senses say something Point 6 - And speaking of voice, let us hear how she is feeling. I don't mean clichés like "Oh baby, you're so big." I mean those personal sounds that tell you she is beginning to feel it. Let us hear her breath slowly get more raw and excited. Encourage her to say what she needs. That last point is important, and very sexy. Not just, "Oh yeah, right there, right there," but, "Grab my tit hard please." "Squeeze my ass." "Kiss me...I need you to kiss me." And let us hear him as his excitement builds and he begins to groan and roar. For lesbian sex it would be good to really hear the couple work out what feels good. "That's good; roll a little to your left. Yeah, move up that way." "Keep rocking. Oh please don't stop rocking." "Just lick inside right there with the tip of your tongue." "Shut up and fuck me hard." Sprayed vs filled? Point 7 - The money shot. Time was, you had to know this was real sex, so the dude had to spill the cream at the end. Now I think that's old hat. The real money shot is seeing her get off for real. Now we know that for most women PIV sex is not the true lift off. It may be great, but it is the satisfier that says your man is happy and has really connected. Your orgasm(s) can come any time along the way and are proof that your lover is really paying attention to your needs. And here's a simple dirty secret: most guys watching and probably a lot of women are going to get off when they see her cum more than when they see him cum. And for me nothing is sexier than both partners getting off while they are deeply connected. No need to 'open out' awkwardly so we see all the messy bits. For the last lap let them find each others' rhythm and go for it. Stay Unselfish Coda - Make videos with people who know and respect each other. Even if the love play is rough and tumble, have your "actors" know and care about each other and show they care about each others' bodies. Give them time to get to know each other before they shoot the scene. And we have all seen "the four ways to fuck"-- now missionary, now doggie, now her on top, now on her side with him behind, pull out and jizz in her mouth. Yawn. Let them work out what gets them excited. My Golden Rules: NEVER feature sex with children. NEVER feature enslaved, exploited, addicted, or drugged participants. NEVER treat women like they are second class citizens. NEVER have the talk or action be racist. NEVER show rough sex without the absolute consent of all participants. NEVER confuse torture for stimulation. NEVER exploit young or broke people to make a porno. There are plenty of adults willing to make sex videos for fun and/or profit. And if you like erotic stories, videos, audios, pix then use the ones that respect people and avoid the ones that don't. If the maker breaks those golden rules, don't watch or pay for that shit. I KNOW I am bumping up against some people's favorite kinks, or even the whole reason they seek out porn. That's them. Maybe that's you. Okay, but the stuff I list above is what ruins it for me. I have a simple stance. Sex is good. Sex is fun. People do best when they don't feel angry, or ashamed, or guilty while doing it. You can play football to maim the other player or humiliate them. For me that ruins the game. Our bodies have wonderful built-in toys. Enjoy them. The 11 Best Sexual Positions for Satisfying Sex Tons of sexual positions can bring mutual satisfaction, but do you know which ones both you and your partner can enjoy? Check out these 11 you might want to try the next time you get frisky. By Ashley Welch Switch up your sexual routine so you and your partner can rekindle your connection. There are hundreds of hot sex positions for couples that bring partners’ bodies together for mutual pleasure. Knowing a variety of sex positions can help you be a better and more inventive lover for your partner. What Are the Best Ways to Have Mutually Satisfying Sex? That answer is different for every couple. "I would define the best position as the position that works best for the individual or individuals involved,” says Tameca Harris-Jackson, PhD, a certified sex educator, a sex therapist. "Trying different sex positions actually offers an opportunity to bring different ways of experiencing pleasure into sexual intimacy and a sexual relationship,” Dr. Harris-Jackson says. “You can eat the same meal every day for 20 years, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to get the most joy out of it. You’re just getting the nutrients. But if you try to add a little bit of parsley to that meal, you might taste it in a different way, and it might become a more exciting meal. And that’s what having new positions in a relationship can do.” There are nonphysical factors to consider, too. Take intimacy, for example. For many people, especially women, intimacy can lead to better sexual experiences because partners are comfortable and trusting enough to ask for what they desire and to try new things. Many couples are figuring out exactly those benefits, according to research funded by the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana. An online survey of 1,559 adults showed that while people had less frequent sex during the first weeks of the COVID-19 pandemic, they were more willing to try new things, which included sexting, sharing sexual fantasies, and experimenting with new sex positions. Try New Sexual Positions to Spice Things Up Stressful periods of time can make it difficult to get aroused and stay aroused, says study coauthor Justin L. Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey. “Trying something new can amp up your arousal,” he says. “Trying new things is about self-discovery — what works for your body, your relationship — and that’s going to have lifelong benefits.” You don’t have to be a gymnast to make these moves pay off. Don’t think “crazy sex positions,” rather “new sex positions” to create more heat between the sheets. “Not every position is for everyone, and that’s okay,” says Dr. Lehmiller. “But even if the positions described here don’t work for you (maybe you’ve already tried them), that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try new and different things. Novelty is one of the things that keeps us interested in coming back for more. When sex is the same every time, we tend to lose interest. New positions are a handy way of adding an element of novelty and newness to our sex lives.” 1: The Missionary Position or Face-to-Face Potential Benefits or Caveats Intimate but not necessarily mutually satisfying. Details It's a simple sex position: The woman lies on her back with her legs spread and knees bent slightly. The man lies between his woman’s legs and guides his penis or sex toy into his lover’s vagina or anus, supporting her body weight with his arms or elbows. The problem with the missionary position is that it’s not as good at delivering pleasure to women. The pelvis of the partner on top can sometimes stimulate the clitoris in this position, and it offers great intimacy through face-to-face contact. But the angle of the penis does not allow for deep penetration or stimulation of the G-spot (felt through a location on the front wall of the vagina and believed by some experts to be a stimulus for orgasm in women). Some women also complain that this sex position doesn't provide enough clitoral stimulation to experience climax. In a study published in August 2020 in Sexual Medicine, researchers in the Czech Republic surveyed 1,100 heterosexual people about 13 sex positions and revealed that most people still choose the missionary position even though it does not correlate with orgasm for women. Try Female-Friendly Intercourse Positions If the most common sex position is not offering women consistent orgasms, then one important thing to do to is “close the orgasm gap,” says Lehmiller, and try a new sex position. In other words, don't limit yourself to the missionary position. "In most cultures, it is not the most used position," says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, a certified sexuality educator and professor emerita at Rutgers University in New Jersey. If you are looking to spice up your sexual experience and enjoy better sex, try some of these female-friendly positions. Many afford partners the chance for clitoral stimulation, which is what 35.4 percent of women said they need to reach orgasm. 2: Cowgirl Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep penetration and sensations vary; clitoral stimulation. Details In this position, the man lies on his back while the partner being penetrated faces them and kneels, straddling his pelvis. She can then sit up or lie down on her man. "This is a great position for a woman to control the depth of penetration," Harris-Jackson says. “It’s also a good position to get multiple forms of stimulation. With the woman’s body upright, the nipples can be engaged, which can lead to extra arousal. It is good for having access to the clitoris for stimulation.” The riding partner can choose whether to bounce up and down, grind, or make hip circles — each delivering a slightly different sensation. “This is also a good position for a person with a penis if they have back issues because it’s almost a resting position for them,” she says. 6 Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Married Sex Life Making things more interesting in the bedroom doesn't have to be hard. Try these simple tips to create more heat between the sheets. 3: Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Rider on Top Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Buttocks play, visual stimulations, opportunities for variations; may cause pain. Details The man lies on his back while the woman sits astride him, facing his feet, and slips his penis into her vagina or anus. The woman can control the rhythm and pace of the thrusts. This position can be especially exciting for the man, who gets to observe the back and buttocks of his lover. Squeezing or grabbing the buttocks can enhance the experience for both. This position can be tricky to master since it requires the woman to lean back or sit up very straight to accommodate the angle of the penis. “If you’re leaning forward, it can be painful and uncomfortable for the man because it could almost feel like his penis is breaking,” says Harris-Jackson, who recommends having the man bend his knees while the woman holds her hands against her lover’s thighs or waist. Switch It Up “This may be one of those positions that is better in theory than in practice,” says Lorrae Jo Bradbury, a sex and love coach and the founder of SluttyGirlProblems.com and LorraeJo.com. “You might want to use it as a foreplay position, grinding on his penis before you begin intercourse.” 4: Doggy Style or Rear Entry Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration and G-spot stimulation but the position can feel impersonal. Details In this position, the woman kneels on all fours, supporting herself with her hands and knees. The man crouches and enters from behind. This is the best sex position for deep penetration of the vagina. It gives the man freedom to thrust hard and fast, and allows easy access to caress much of the woman’s body. The position also allows for good G-spot stimulation. Switch It Up Some people complain that this sex position is too impersonal because there's no face-to-face contact. “If you want closer eye contact with this position,” says Bradbury, move your knees closer to your chest and arch your back so your partner can lean into you near your face and you can make eye contact. Bradbury says you can also try this position in front of a mirror so you can see one another’s faces. A variation of this can be done standing; using a high bed, dining table, or even the kitchen counter; when a woman lays her chest or forearms upon the solid surface. Many women report laying in wait at the kitchen, when their man comes home. Her sticky panties are dropped to her knees. With his coat still on, she simply orders him; “Fuck Me Now! I can’t wait another minute!” He follows her instructions and sates her lusts. After his spunk fills her wanton cunt, she turns to face him, holds his spent cock, and says; “This rod needs to be ready for round two, after dinner, in the bedroom. 5: The Corkscrew Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Intense, deep penetration. Details Leaning forward, the woman lies on the edge of the bed facing inward, resting on her hip and forearm while her partner enters her from behind. The woman can keep her thighs together for a tighter hold on the penis or penetrating toy. But if the woman opens her legs, the clitoris is exposed for stroking while the man thrusts from behind. “You’re getting that deeper penetration like doggy style, but this may be an easier and more comfortable position,” says Bradbury. Switch It Up Your partner can easily lean down to make out with you, and the clitoris is within easy reach, according to Bradbury. 6: Side by Side or Sideways Potential Sensual Benefits or Caveats Deep eye contact and intimacy. Details Both partners lie on their sides, facing each other. The woman lifts her top leg so the man can enter her. This position is great for morning sex when you might be a little sleepy, says Bradbury. It offers intimacy because you are close to each other’s face. The partners can kiss and caress each other during lovemaking. The sex position is relaxing, doesn't require a lot of stamina from either person, and offers an opportunity for good clitoral stimulation. Switch It Up Penetration can be improved if the woman drapes both legs over her man’s waist, Bradbury says. This allows great access to the clitoris, which can be stimulated with a finger or with a toy. “I think this is a great position for everyone,” she says. “It offers the comfort of cuddling, too.” 7: Flat Iron or Lazy Dog Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Tightness on penetration, intense stimulation. Details The woman lies on her stomach with her legs straight and hips slightly raised. (You can place a pillow under your hips.) The man enters from behind. When lying face down, the woman’s legs will be closer together, which creates a snugger fit for her man’s penis or sex toy. This can lead to a new, more intense sensation. “This is a really good way to increase the experience of tightness for the man,” Harris-Jackson says. “It’s also good for clitoral stimulation because the partner can reach around with his hand or a sex toy to provide dual stimulation. And it’s a good position for G-spot stimulation because you’re angling the body so that the penis is in perfect alignment to stroke against the G-spot.” 8: Face-Off Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats With intense eye contact and clitoral stimulation, this can be an enhanced missionary position. Details In this position, the man sits on the edge of a bed or in a comfortable seated position while the woman climbs on his lap face-to-face. The woman wraps her legs around his waist and can control the pace of thrusting. This position also allows for direct clitoral stimulation and eye contact, which can increase intimacy. Bonus Your hands are free so you can touch and caress your lover’s body nearly anywhere you would like. “This is a really impactful position for people who are aroused with eye contact,” says Harris-Jackson. “It’s like missionary, but you are really face-to-face. It also takes some of the work off the woman because the man can move her up and down by placing his hands on her hips.” Switch It Up The lotus position is very similar to face-off, only the man sits crossed-legged on the bed or chair. 9: Pretzel Dip Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Deep penetration with potential for G-spot stimulation. Details The woman lies on her right side as the man straddles his lover’s right leg. The man then pulls his woman’s left leg up and around his left side and enters her vagina or anus. This position allows deep penetration while also allowing the intimacy of maintaining eye contact. Switch it Up “You can also take your left leg and pull it toward your chest to get a deeper angle,” says Bradbury. “And you have amazing access to the clitoris for both partners.” Your hands will be free, which can allow you to run them all over each other’s body. Adds Harris-Jackson: “This position — depending on your angle — can also offer G-spot stimulation, as well.” 10: Coital Alignment Technique (CAT) Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Clitoral stimulation. Details If you want to rock rather than thrust, roll with CAT. This position is similar to missionary; the main difference is that the man pushes the base of his penis so that it lines up with her clitoris and the two make contact. Once they do, the couple rock back and forth and maintain constant contact. “It’s a little bit of a different way of having sex,” says Lehmiller. “You rock back and forth rather than thrusting. Doing so prolongs the length of intercourse for the man and increases the odds of a woman having an orgasm because she’s having that constant stimulation.” 11: Sixty-Nine (or 69) Potential Sensual Benefits and Caveats Mutual oral stimulation. Details This position involves both lovers performing and receiving oral sex at the same time. Typically, one partner lies on their back while the other climbs on top of them and turns around, straddling them with their genitals above their lover’s face. The person on top then leans forward and begins performing oral sex on their lover while simultaneously receiving. This position can require some coordination and balance, particularly for the partner on top. One way to make 69 a bit more comfortable for both lovers is to lie on their sides during the act. Keep Switching It Up: Sexual Variety Is Exciting In our day-to-day lives, we tend to be very goal-oriented, says Harris-Jackson. “We wake up in the morning and it’s go, go, go to get out the door. We go, go, go to eat our food, to go to work. It creates a lot of stress and tension in our bodies and in our minds. Many patients that I see feel that sex becomes one more thing that they have to go, go, go and do. But sexual partners should be really with one another and feel pleasure together. Switching up positions can be very helpful to rekindle that connection. So it can be helpful and fun to try something new.” By LargoKitt & Ashley Welch for Literotica and EverydayHealth.

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture. Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule. Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time. Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date. One of the easiest ways to ‘break the ice’ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is ‘caught off guard’ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. They’ll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative. Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a ‘going with’ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who they’re ‘going with’ even though they never went anywhere. If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, It’s time to ask; “Can I take you out on a date?” If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesn’t need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts. The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she won’t talk about the places she went to, she’ll talk about the guy who took her there. When you’re first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say ‘good night.’ Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you. Take some time to assess if you want a 2nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether it’s her you like, or dating, itself. Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If you’re still looking for the ‘right one,’ your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue? Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena. How to find someone to date: To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well. Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie. Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two. How-to guide for kissing: Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began. If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might get your braces locked together also. You won't even be able to make it to the hospital unless you get a friend to drive you there. Give kissing some serious thought before proceeding with braces. Older people are now out in the dating game. If you have false teeth, you might watch your kissing also. Light pressure open-mouth kisses are acceptable. Do not under any circumstances try French or kissing using the tongue. Just picture this: your woman sticks her tongue in your mouth and your dentures come loose. Need I say more? Another thing about kissing; especially open-mouth and giving tongue type kisses. You might want to consider where your date's mouth has been prior to the date with you. This could be a problem when using a dating service or prostitute. How to disrobe your date: Let's begin by me undressing my lover. I try to unbutton her blouse but the little button doesn't seem to come through the little slit like it's supposed to. Finally, I get it undone and see her breasts staring me in the face behind her bra. Here is the problem I found out last year. I reach my hand behind her back while we are kissing, feeling for the clasp on her bra. Where the hell is the damn thing? I'm an ultra male; I don't want to have to ask her. Finally in a nice way, we unlock lips and she says, "The clasp is in the front." Then in a very faint voice I hear the word, "Moron." I quickly undo the clasp and let these big babies bounce out. I want to pull her bra off but it gets tangled in her blouse. Now I have to pull them off together trying to get them off her shoulders in a loving way like they do on TV. After getting feedback on the subject, I now know what to do and will pass it on to you. While kissing her when her blouse is still on, rub your finger along her bra line. If it's smooth all the way across then the clasp is in the front and you won't feel so stupid. If you feel it in the middle of her back while rubbing the bra line then, of course, it has a back clasp. You should remove her blouse before un-clasping her bra. Next, I want to remove her jeans. I have now learned to tell my ladies to remove them before climbing on the bed; saves a lot of hassle, unless you're a specialist in removing a woman's clothing. I made the mistake a few times of trying to gently remove her jeans while she is lying on the bed. Big, big mistake! Women buy jeans at least one size too small! The jeans look great on them, nice and tight, but they are hell to pull off. Believe me; I've tried more than once. If you can get it over her ass, you might have a chance. I never seemed to be that lucky, as I had to climb up and try to pull the jeans under her ass, scooting each side down about an inch at a time. You want to do this without pulling her panties off at the same time. You might have to pull her panties and jeans down a little and then kind of pull the panties back up and then back to the jeans again. Hopefully, you were lucky enough to get the jeans down to her thighs. If she has big thighs, you might have to keep scooting the jeans one side at a time. Whatever you do, keep complimenting her on her body, even if she has thunder thighs and stretch marks. Don't ask her to spread her legs - it doesn't sound good. If she doesn't do it automatically for you, then scoot up between them and push her legs apart yourself, but not too far - you still have to get her jeans off. How to get on the bed: Hopefully, by now your date is naked. Somewhere along the line you should have removed your own clothing. You should usually leave your underwear on till you are ready to expose your big Johnson (cock). Last year I tried to explain getting on the bed while kissing. A totally bad idea! I wanted us to fall together on the bed gently like they do in the movies. So I held onto her and kind of pulled her toward me so we could fall together onto the bed. Big mistake! I didn't say anything to her while she lost her footing and fell on me as we bumped heads. It kind of killed the mood since now she needed a couple of aspirin for the headache she was quickly getting. Another time my date and I were kissing when we fell together on the bed. She sent me her dental bill for the loose teeth she received. I've never gotten that falling together down right. I tried to fall on the bed by myself over a hundred times so I could explain to the readers the best way to do this. Believe me, there isn't any good way to fall on the bed alone, let alone with a partner. Now I just tell my lady friend to climb on the bed and then I climb on top of her. I can't believe how many aspirin I have saved, and no more dental bills. Of course I might add, if she wants to be on top, that's okay too. How to use foreplay: Women love foreplay. The first thing and also the main thing to remember is to compliment! compliment! compliment! Women love compliments. I don't care if it's her hair, boobs, belly, feet, toes or nose, compliment her on it. You will be glad you did. Hopefully your woman should now be lying on your bed with only her panties on. You should climb on the bed and have some foreplay before going much further. Women usually like this unless you are as inept as I was till I started practicing on using foreplay. Let's talk a little about her erogenous zones. Women have many of them. Most men know about her nipples, neck, lips and the whole vaginal area. There are others that I have found lately and would like to pass on to you. The shoulders: I can't tell you how many women have let me rub their shoulders. Of course you start there and they may let you massage a lot of other places as well. Women also love to have their feet massaged. Rub the little balls under their toes. After being on their feet all day, they will love you for this. If they have nice cute clean feet, you might consider sucking a toe or two. Of course you will need to check their feet out pretty good before sucking any toes. You have to be the judge here. One of the newest places I have found that turn women on, is the area between their belly button and their mound. I can't tell you what a hot area this is on most women. I have to admit that this area is a turn on for me too, knowing that I am probably minutes away from pay dirt. Try both rubbing and kissing this area. No matter how big your woman is, this area is a turn-on. Time to start the foreplay: I was kissing my woman over and over again. I was planting my lips against her taking her breath away. Literally! I didn't know she wasn't able to breath and she started kicking and moving under me. I thought I was really getting her turned on. I was 'Jerry, the super kisser.' I found out she wasn't able to breathe through her nose. I guess I really took her breath away. You might want to ask or at least make the kisses short if you see this happening. I started kissing her neck like they do in the movies. Again, another mistake! I sucked too hard and gave her a hickey. For those of you who don't know what a hickey is I'll explain. It's sucking hard on her neck or other soft places that leave a bruise. Most women don't want hickeys. It's embarrassing especially if other people see the bruises and she has to try to explain it. If she's married, you might be in 'mucho' trouble. Kissing and playing with her boobs. This was information I passed along last year but it still holds true. The boobs or breasts are a big misunderstood area. Some women loved them played with. None like them mauled - believe me, I found out the hard way. Remembering one of my first big breasted women, I couldn't wait to get hold of those big babies and I grabbed them. She screamed out, slapped me and went home. The next lady, I tried to just squeeze them hoping to turn her on. Again, a mistake! She told me I felt like a mammogram machine - you know; those machines that squeeze the shit out of a woman's tits. No woman - and I mean NO woman - wants her breasts squashed, regardless of the size of her boobs. Here is the right way to do it. I learned after the loss of sex from many women. Don't get your hands near those babies until you have laid some light kisses on them, lots of light kisses. Don't bite! Remember that women do not want sucker bites or any kinds of bites or bruising they might have to explain. Sucking of the nipples are a big "Yes". Women like this - maternal instinct or something - but women love sucking, licking and kissing of the nipples. If the nipples get big, you're doing real good. If you did the sucking and licking right, you may now gently massage the breasts. I usually get yelled at and slapped by this time or my woman goes home with sore boobs. If you succeeded to this point, then rub and gently massage her breasts and softly touch the nipples. Be damn gentle with the nipples here. She hopefully is getting into it by now and will let you start to squeeze those babies. If she's moaning or groaning, that is a good sign. If she's just lying there you might want to find out why. She may be sleeping or worse - dead. If she is dead, call 911 and go home. You will be considered a freak if you go any further. That was a joke, readers. You have to learn to laugh a little. Here is some more information I passed along last year. I did get some negative feedback from a couple of women who said most men's bodies aren't attractive either. I totally agree with them. A beer belly or hairy back isn't the most exciting thing for a woman to look at. This is one of the reasons that under no conditions should you say anything negative about the body of your date. If she has stretch marks or a rather large belly don't say anything negative. If you do, your night will be over. Remember most women's bodies do not look like the ones you see on the big screen or the calendar on the wall. If you look anything like me, be glad that you have anybody that moves lying there in front of you. Close your eyes if you have to, but rub and kiss the belly even if it's not attractive. Let's keep going. Move your hand into her panties. If she has a pad on, you have a problem. Either you have to go further or get up and go home. At this point you might want to pull her panties off and check under the hood so to speak. If you pull her panties off along with the pad or pulled the string and removed the tampon, you have to decide how bad you want it. If she let you go this far, she definitely wants to do it. So what are you going to do? If you don't fuck her now, believe me, you never will! These kinds of decisions never have to be made on TV shows. Let's say she's on her period. Put on a condom and jump her bones. This is what I suggest you do. Use the stupid condom and have fun. If you don't have one or don't like wearing them - and I don't like them - just stick it in as long as you know she is disease free. Blood and cum will always wash off. She'll consider you the man for doing her during this period. No blood? No problem, she probably wears it for leaks. It only happens in real life. Women laugh, women pee, the pad absorbs it. So, if the pad isn't wet, jump her bones. If the pad is wet, wipe her pussy off with a wash cloth - that's something you never see on TV but it does help. Then proceed to eat her out. Believe me; every woman except the really weird ones likes her pussy eaten out. She may not like to give head but she loves receiving it. Let's talk a little about oral sex. It's a big decision these days. One thing every man ought to know. If you don't plan on eating her pussy then don't expect her to be giving you any head. We had a big discussion last year over whether a person with false teeth should keep them in or take them out. If your woman has false teeth and wants to give you a blowjob, let her remove said teeth. You do not need her to accidentally bite your dick. It hurts and might make it unusable for awhile. The warm gums feel great around it. Don't kiss her till she puts her teeth back in her mouth and maybe even use mouthwash. I asked for opinions on this and here are a few I received. "If you have false teeth, leave them in your mouth. It is gross for your date to see your teeth in a glass next to the bed." "Sorry to say but that last part is a crock of shit. If she has false teeth, under no circumstances should you ask her to take them out. You'll think your dick is in a pussy that's just been fist fucked by a 10 ton truck....it'll be so loose that you won't feel anything. Nothing she can do will change it as without teeth the space in the mouth is so great that no cock can fill it and make it feel good for the guy. Furthermore, her jaws will ache so much from trying to suck and not being able to apply proper pressure...the only way she could; would be if the guy had one of those 14 inches, wide as a beer can cock you mentioned earlier." "Look DG, I have to tell you. If she has false teeth and takes them off, you're in for a big surprise, not good at all. With no teeth it's impossible to suck properly and the vacuum needed to perform fellatio is absent; furthermore, her jaws will ache like crazy. Believe me, if she has false teeth, let her keep them on. There's no more danger of being bitten then if it was her real teeth." Personally, if I'm eating a moist wet pussy, I take my teeth out so I can gum it and slurp in all the wet juices. The dentures take away from the feeling that I get. So, teeth or no-teeth, that is the question. As they say on Fox news, "You decide." How to get that, "Oh, what a feeling": Last year I said, "Most pussies are really not that pretty. I have seen a lot of them and still get turned on by them, regardless of how ugly they might be." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I decided most all pussies are beautiful. Soft, wet, moist, what's not to love? Now the smell is another story. To me, not every pussy smells the same. If you like fish, it will be a plus for you. I know, in all the stories you read the writers are talking about the heavenly smell. It only smells like that when you are at your horniest. At that point every pussy looks and smells great! A word or two about bushes. Most ladies trim their bushes some, younger ones mainly to trim up the hair for their bathing suit bottoms. On the TV they always look great. At the pool where I hang out, I always see the hair sticking out the sides of their suits. Looks funny but I can't help looking anyway. Of course I'm a pussy hound and the hair doesn't bother me, especially in a dim light. It seems that a number of ladies shave it all off. It's okay but I think I prefer to see some hair down there. If you see some gray hair on it, don't worry about it. It means she probably knows how to use it. Experience you know is always good. If you get hair between your teeth, try to just remove it without being seen. She usually can't see you over her belly anyway. Use of condoms is big these days; lots of diseases to worry about. I was watching a lot of porno movies so that I could give you good 'how to' information here. Most of the porn stars are wearing condoms in their films. It kind of takes away from the film but I guess the actors want to live to fuck another day. I brought this up because in the porno films, they always remove the condom before coming. They jack themselves off on the partners back or ass. Sometimes they have their woman actress slide down and cum all over her face. Now, a bit more honesty here. That's why I'm writing this how to, to tell you the truth. I talked to a number of women and none of them got anything out of me pulling my cock out of her pussy and coming on her back. Their answer was, "What the fuck?" Also, I have yet to find the woman that says, "Pull your dick out of my pussy, I'm about ready to orgasm, but go ahead and cum on my face." Use the condom, fill it up while in her pussy and then dispose of it. You'll both be glad you did. Some more information from last year. I'm still not big on anal sex. Ass fucking: It's not for everybody, including me. I've tried it and it really wasn't that good. My partner said it hurt like hell and there was more than one partner I tried it with. If they don't have an enema or some other way of cleaning it out, it smells. I don't know about you but to me shit stinks. I really don't want it on my dick, even though in some of these stories they seem to like the Hershey highway. For those of you who like anal sex, that's great. I'm not knocking you or your likes and dislikes. I'm just trying to base my opinions and observations here. The first time I ass fucked, I thought my dick was going to blow up. It didn't fit very well. I used all kinds of lube which helped get it in but it hurt me and it hurt my partner. I just felt my time would have been better spent if I put it in a hot wet pussy. No hard feelings for the anal lovers. I have found out that while fucking from behind, (doggie style) that a finger or two inserted into the anal passage may be a turn-on. For those who want to try it, make sure your fingers are lubed or you rubbed a lot of her juices there first. Update from a friend: "If a woman lets a man take her in the ass and then shits all over the floor, it's not her fault. So don't hold her responsible - you asked for it. Clean up the mess yourself." Underwear, for the man, is always interesting. If you expect to get any, make sure you don't have skid marks in your underwear. That is good advice for both sexes. TV and movie people never have skid marks. No woman is turned on by seeing the nicotine stains in your jockeys. Same goes for the guys not wearing under clothing. Shit stains in your jeans aren't so good either. For the guys, if you don't have underwear on, pull your own zipper down. If any skin gets caught in the zipper, it hurts like hell and your night will be over before it begins. Your lady friend might be in too big a hurry when pulling down your zipper. By DG Hear

STDs: What Are They and How Do You [not] Get Them?By Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex.   This episode deals with the following STD concerns: Chlamydia,  Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis, Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV, HPV, Molluscum Contagiosum, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis.The number of cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), now more commonly referred to as sexually transmitted infections (STI), in the United States hit an all-time high in 2019, according to data released on April 13, 2021, by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The CDC’s surveillance report shows that nearly 2.5 million new cases of gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia were reported that year. Chlamydia remained the most common condition reported to the CDC, with close to 1.8 million cases, up 19 percent since 2015. Gonorrhea diagnoses reached 616,392, up 56 percent since 2015. And primary and secondary syphilis diagnoses reached 129,813, up 74 percent since 2015.Of high concern is that congenital syphilis cases, that is, syphilis in newborns, nearly quadrupled between 2015 and 2019, reaching 1,870 cases. From 2018 to 2019 the number of stillbirths caused by syphilis increased from 79 to 94, and the number of congenital syphilis-related infant deaths rose from 15 to 34 deaths.While the 2019 STD statistics reflect pre-COVID-19 pandemic numbers, preliminary data from 2020 suggests many of the same trends continued during the pandemic. Experts attribute some of the growth in STDs in 2020 to disruptions in STD testing and treatment programs caused by the pandemic.While 2.5 million cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis may sound like a lot, it’s likely an undercount: Many people with these and other STDs, formerly known as venereal diseases, go undiagnosed and untreated. The CDC estimates that nearly 20 million new sexually transmitted infections occur every year, accounting for almost $16 billion in healthcare costs annually.Inequities in STD BurdensThe numbers of STDs increased in all age groups and among all racial and ethnic groups in 2019, according to CDC statistics. However, some groups saw higher rates of STDs than others:People ages 15 to 24 accounted for 61 percent of chlamydia cases and 42 percent of gonorrhea cases.Gay and bisexual men accounted for nearly half of all primary and secondary syphilis cases.Here’s what you need to know about how to spot, treat, and prevent STDs.What Is the Definition of an STD?“STDs are diseases that are passed from one person to another through sexual contact,” a representative of the CDC says.According to the CDC, some of the common STDs are chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2), human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), human papillomavirus (HPV), and syphilis. "Many of these STDs do not show symptoms for a long time," per the CDC, "but they can still be harmful and passed on during sex.”Virtually all STDs can be transmitted through anal, vaginal, or oral sex. In addition, some STDs can also be transmitted through close skin-to-skin contact, even if no intercourse occurs.HPV, for example, can be spread through skin-to-skin touching. In addition, “Molluscum contagiosum, a viral skin disease, can be spread through sexual or casual contact, as can scabies, an itchy skin condition caused by a mite infestation. It is also possible to get scabies from an infected sleeping bag or bed,” says Edward W. Hook III, MD, an endowed professor of infectious disease translational research in the departments of medicine, epidemiology, and microbiology at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, who works with the CDC.STDs don’t just affect the genital regions: “Oral herpes can be transmitted through oral and genital sex,” says Dr. Hook.It is important to remember that STDs may have no symptoms. However, new vaginal or urethral discharge or a new rash after sexual contact should be evaluated by a medical professional.When symptoms do occur, they can include the following:Chlamydia Symptoms of chlamydia can include vaginal discharge in women, penile discharge in men, and burning during urination in men and women.Gonorrhea Gonorrhea can cause thick, cloudy, or bloody discharge from the vagina or urethra, and pain or burning when peeing. If you have gonorrhea in your anus, it may cause itching in and around the anus, discharge from the anus, and pain when defecating. Gonorrhea in the throat may cause a sore throat.Hepatitis B Acute hepatitis B can cause fever, fatigue, loss of appetite, nausea or vomiting, abdominal pain, dark urine, clay-colored bowel movements, joint pain, and jaundice (yellowing of the skin and whites of the eyes). Symptoms can appear anywhere from six weeks to six months following exposure to the hepatitis B virus. Chronic hepatitis B sometimes causes symptoms similar to acute disease.Genital Herpes Signs of genital herpes typically include red bumps that develop into blisterlike sores in the genital area and sometimes on the buttocks or thighs. A new infection with HSV-2, the virus that causes most cases of genital herpes, may also cause flulike symptoms, including fever, headache, feeling tired and achy, and swollen glands.Oral Herpes Symptoms of oral herpes can include itching of the mouth or lips, sores or blisters on the lips or inside the mouth, and flulike symptoms such as fever, headache, body aches, and swollen glands.HIV Early symptoms of HIV infection can resemble those of the flu: fever, headache, muscle aches, and sore throat. They may also include swollen lymph nodes, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, a fungal infection of the mouth, and a rash on the abdomen, arms, legs, or face. If HIV goes untreated, later symptoms can include fatigue, weight loss, night sweats, joint pain, short-term memory loss, and recurrent infections.HPV Most strains of HPV cause no symptoms and are detected only after abnormal cells are discovered during a Pap smear. However, some types of HPV cause genital warts, which appear as skin-colored or whitish growths on the genitals or anus.Molluscum Contagiosum Often the only sign of this skin disease is pink or flesh-colored bumps with a dimple (indentation) in the center. It is most common in children, who typically get it from skin-to-skin contact or from shared towels or similar items. In adults, it can be sexually transmitted.Pubic Lice Symptoms of pubic lice include itching in the genital area, tiny bugs in your pubic hair, and visible nits (eggs) on hair shafts. Pubic lice can also infest the hair on legs, armpits, eyebrows, eyelashes, and other facial hair such as mustaches and beards.More on Scabies and Pubic LiceHow to Know If That Rash Is ScabiesScabies This skin infestation causes intense itching that is typically worse at night. It can also cause small red bumps or a rash and raised lines on the skin where the mites have burrowed.Syphilis In the primary stage, syphilis causes a painless sore, or ulcer, at the location the bacteria entered the body, often in the genital area. In the secondary stage of syphilis, a rash may occur on the torso and elsewhere on the body.Trichomoniasis Another common STD, trichomoniasis is a parasitic infection that can cause burning and itching in the genital area for men and women as well as painful intercourse. Trich can also cause a smelly discharge and painful or frequent peeing.Can I Have an STD and Not Know It?Yes. Many STDs don’t cause any symptoms, especially during the early stages, so the only way to know for sure if you have one is to get tested. Keep in mind that you can get an STD from having sex with someone who has no symptoms and may not know they have an STD.Are Adolescents Disproportionately Affected?The CDC reports that half of newly reported cases of STDs occur in people between the ages of 15 and 24, noting that young women’s bodies are biologically more susceptible to STDs.“Chlamydia and HPV are common as soon as you become sexually active,” Hook says. “Gonorrhea and genital herpes peak in the late twenties to thirties.”All STDs, though, including HIV, can and do occur at any age.When and How Often Should I Get Tested?“Women should be tested for chlamydia on a regular basis. Some gynecologists test for it automatically, but not all do,” Hook says.Chlamydia Treatment and PreventionTesting for chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomoniasis involves collecting either a urine sample or a swab from the vagina or penis.For other STDs, including HIV, syphilis, and genital herpes, blood testing is most accurate.To test for HPV, a sample of cervical or anal cells must be collected.How often an individual needs to be tested for STDs depends on their level of risk for infection.The CDC recommends the following for testing for chlamydia:Annual screening in sexually active women age 25 and younger and in older women who are at an increased risk for infection because of a new sex partner or multiple sex partnersAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations for gonorrhea testing include the following:Annual screening in sexually active women who are at risk for infection, which includes women ages 25 and youngerAnnual screening in men who have sex with men, based on exposure history, with more frequent screening in people at the highest riskScreening in all pregnant women under age 25 and older women who are at an increased riskAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC's recommendations regarding screening for syphilis include these guidelines:Screening in all pregnant women at their first prenatal visitAnnual screening in men who have sex with menAnnual screening in sexually active people living with HIVThe CDC has additional recommendations for other STDs.In all cases, more frequent screening or screening for additional STDs may be appropriate for certain individuals, depending on their risk factors, including sexual behavior and how common a particular disease is in their area.Where Can I Get Tested for STDs?Your family doctor or ob-gyn should be able to do STD testing. In some areas, other options include specialized STD or sexual health clinics.You can find locations in your area that offer fast, free, and confidential testing using the CDC’s Get Tested tool.How Can I Protect Myself From Getting an STD?Abstaining from all sexual contact is the only way to reduce your risk of STDs to zero. But the following measures can also help:Having only one sexual partner, and ensuring that person is monogamous too, lowers your risk of STDs.Proper use of a condom every time you have sex greatly reduces the risk of all STDs.Getting vaccinated against hepatitis B is the best way to avoid this viral infection. The hepatitis B vaccine can be given to people of any age.Getting the HPV vaccine protects you against strains of the virus that cause genital warts and cervical and other cancers. The HPV vaccine is routinely available to people ages 9 through 26. It is additionally approved for adults ages 27 through 45 but not routinely recommended. Adults age 27 or older who believe they would benefit from HPV vaccination should discuss it with their doctors.What Are the Treatment Options for Common STDs?Some STDs are curable with medical treatment, while others can be managed to control symptoms and reduce the risk of transmission.These STDs can be cured with antibiotics:ChlamydiaGonorrheaSyphilisTrichomoniasisSTDs that can be cured with insecticides include the following:Pubic liceScabiesMinor surgical procedures such as cryosurgery (freezing) or laser surgery can treat certain STDs:Genital warts caused by HPVMolluscum contagiosumSTDs that can be managed with antiviral medication include these infections:Chronic hepatitis BGenital herpesHIVWhen precancerous cells caused by HPV are found on the cervix, treatment may include watchful waiting or surgery to remove the abnormal tissue.Does Having One STD Make You More Likely to Get Another?“Having one STD does not predispose you to others, aside from the behavioral risks shared by all STDs,” says H. Hunter Handsfield, MD, a professor emeritus of medicine at the University of Washington Center for AIDS and STD in Seattle, who also served on the board of the American Sexual Health Association.“However,” says Dr. Handsfield, “having genital herpes due to HSV-2, but not HSV-1, roughly doubles the risk of HIV if sexually exposed to the virus.”What Happens If STDs Are Left Untreated?“The longer something goes untreated, the more likely it is to cause complications,” Hook says. “Left untreated, infections from gonorrhea and chlamydia can travel from a woman’s cervix to her uterus and fallopian tubes, which may cause infertility.”Untreated syphilis "can become neurosyphilis, causing neurological disease,” says Suzanne Fenske, MD, an assistant professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive science at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York City. Late-stage complications of syphilis also include aortic aneurysm and other cardiovascular problems.Untreated HIV can impair the immune system’s ability to fight off infections and diseases, leading to so-called opportunistic infections, neurological complications, and sometimes cancer.Untreated chronic hepatitis B can lead to liver failure, cirrhosis, liver cancer, and death.Failing to treat STDs can have risks for future generations as well. Women who have herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or syphilis can transmit the infection to their baby at birth, which is why testing for STDs; and following safer sex recommendations; during pregnancy is so important.HIV can also be passed from mother to child during pregnancy, labor, or delivery, but the risk of transmission can be reduced if the mother takes antiretroviral drugs throughout her pregnancy and the baby receives HIV medicines for several weeks after birth.Complications of STDsDoes the Number of Sexual Partners Affect My Chances of Getting an STD?“As a broad rule, more partners means higher risk,” Handsfield says. “However, there are innumerable exceptions. Some people have 100 or more partners per year and remain free of most if not all STDs. Others have one or two partners and multiple infections over time.”More on STD PreventionBest Condoms for Pleasurable Safe SexThe bottom line is to use condoms or dental dams (small sheets of latex) to lower your risk and discuss STD testing with your medical provider if you are sexually active.Can STDs Recur?A curable STD that has been treated correctly will not recur, but it is possible to get the same STD again. In fact, it’s fairly common. To avoid getting the same STD again, your sexual partner, or partners, must also be treated. And to avoid getting the same or other STDs after treatment, practice safer sex, including using condoms each time you have sex.The good news is that getting infected more than once does not appear to cause more long-term complications.“In women, a second or third infection with chlamydia may raise the risk of complications like pelvic inflammatory disease,” says Handsfield. “But for the most part, people with multiple episodes of STDs do not fare any worse than after the first infection.” Chlamydia: Often a Silent DiseaseMany people don't realize they have chlamydia because they don't experience symptoms. That's why the condition is often called a silent infection. But untreated chlamydia can cause serious complications in both men and women, including ectopic pregnancy in women. To prevent such complications, young women and men at high risk of chlamydia are advised to get tested for it yearly.Genital Herpes: A Lifelong InfectionAn easily transmitted disease, genital herpes is caused by a virus that stays in the body for life. The infection can cause painful sores to form on the genitals, thighs, or buttocks, but the severity of symptoms ranges widely from no symptoms at all to recurring sores, painful urination, and flulike symptoms. Medication can prevent or shorten outbreaks, as well as lower the chance of passing the virus to a sexual partner.Gonorrhea: Still Curable, but Antibiotic Resistance Is a ProblemGonorrhea is highly contagious and, like chlamydia, may cause mild or no symptoms. If left untreated, though, it can cause serious complications, including pelvic inflammatory disease in women and epididymitis in men. While gonorrhea is curable, some strains of the bacteria that cause it have become resistant to most antibiotics.As of December 2020, the CDC recommends a single 500-milligram (mg) intramuscular dose of the antibiotic Rocephin (ceftriaxone) for uncomplicated gonorrhea. Treatment for coinfection with Chlamydia trachomatis with oral doxycycline (100 mg twice daily for seven days) should be administered when chlamydial infection has not been excluded.Hepatitis B: Disease of the LiverHepatitis is an inflammation of the liver, and the hepatitis B virus is one of several viral causes of hepatitis. There are also nonviral causes. In the United States, infants have been routinely vaccinated against hepatitis B since 1991, and the rate of acute hepatitis B in the United States has plummeted since then. Worldwide, however, chronic hepatitis B infection is common.HIV: Incurable but PreventableHIV is a virus that attacks the body's immune system, impairing its ability to fight off infections and diseases over time. The final stage of HIV infection is called acquired immunodeficiency syndrome, or AIDS. AIDS is a life-threatening disease. You can reduce your risk of getting sexually transmitted HIV by using condoms correctly and consistently.Just about everyone who is or has been sexually active has had HPV at some point. In most cases, the virus clears up on its own, but when it doesn’t, it can cause genital warts and a variety of types of cancers, depending on which strain of the virus you have. The Gardasil 9 (HPV 9-valent) vaccine protects against both warts and cancer and is approved for adolescents and young adults.Molluscum Contagiosum: May Clear on Its OwnThis viral infection can be sexually transmitted or spread through contact with infected skin or contaminated objects, such as towels and toys. It can also be spread from one area of the body to another by touching a lesion then an unaffected area of skin. In many cases it goes away on its own, but treatments are available if it doesn’t.Syphilis: Life-Threatening if Not TreatedSyphilis is a bacterial infection that is growing more common in the United States, particularly among men who have sex with men. It can be cured with penicillin or, in the case of a penicillin allergy, other antibiotics. Left untreated, syphilis can affect the heart and brain and be life-threatening. Syphilis that is passed from mother to infant (congenital syphilis) is also a severe, life-threatening condition.Trichomoniasis: A Parasitic InfectionTrichomoniasis is more common in women, particularly young women, than men. The parasite that causes trichomoniasis can infect the penis or vagina but not the mouth, anus, or other body parts. While symptoms of trichomoniasis may raise a medical provider’s suspicions, a definitive diagnosis requires a laboratory test. 

The Many Pregnancy Prevention OptionsBy Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex. Contraception Options 101: Everything You Need to Know About Birth ControlHere’s the lowdown on pregnancy prevention with pills, patches, implants, and other types of birth control, plus information on effectiveness, availability, cost, and more.By Cheryl Alkon; By John Paul McHugh, MD courtesy of American College of Lifestyle MedicineUpdated on August 28, 2023It’s a fact: If you’re a woman, and you have sex with a man, it’s possible you’ll get pregnant. But if you don’t want to have a baby, there are many forms of birth control to help prevent pregnancy. Birth Control: A Definition and OverviewWhile abstinence, or refraining from intercourse, is the only way to prevent pregnancy with 100 percent certainty, contraception, or birth control, comes in several different forms, both non-hormonal and hormonal.Non-hormonal methods generally create a physical barrier between the sperm and the egg; a notable exception is the copper IUD, which changes the uterine environment but does not actually present a physical barrier. Two permanent contraception methods require surgery: sterilization, or tubal ligation, for women and vasectomy for men.Hormonal methods generally prevent ovulation (the release of an egg), make it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus, or prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.What’s the Best Birth Control Method?“It varies, and it depends on you and your lifestyle,” says Keosha T. Bond, an assistant medical professor at The City University of New York School of Medicine in New York City. “I try to explain there’s no one-size-fits-all. It’s more, ‘What can I do, and how does my body react?’ There are so many contraceptive methods out there, but not every one will fit every person.”How Effective Is Birth Control?The effectiveness rate of various birth control methods is based on perfect use; meaning the method is used consistently and correctly every single time, and typical use, which includes people who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly.Knowing what all your birth control options are will help you and your partner choose what works best for you. “I think it’s awesome to be talking about it. A lot of people just don’t know” about birth control, says Christine Carlan Greves, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist with Orlando Health in Florida.Birth Control Methods: All Your Contraception OptionsHere’s a look at the various kinds of birth control available today.Hormonal Birth ControlContraceptive methods that use hormones alter how your body works in order to prevent pregnancy. These range from daily-use options, such as birth control pills, to long-term-use approaches, such as hormonal IUDs, which can stay in place for several years, says Dr. Bond.Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control PillsThere are two types of birth control pills: combination pills that contain both estrogen and a form of progesterone called progestin, as well as progestin-only pills (also known as the mini pill).The pills work by preventing ovulation, so there is no egg for sperm to fertilize, or by thickening cervical mucus so sperm cannot travel to an egg.Birth control pills need to be taken every day as directed. Most types of progestin-only pills must be taken within the same three-hour time window every day. Some pills can also be used to stop your period.How effective are birth control pills? Combined and progestin-only birth control pills are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much do they cost? You need a prescription to get birth control pills. They may cost nothing or up to $50 a month and can be free or low-cost with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, or other government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Side EffectsSome people don’t do well on hormonal contraception. “Each woman is different, and you have to understand your body,” says Bond. If you notice one or more of these side effects, let your doctor know:NauseaWeight gainChanged menstrual cycles, including spottingSome women like the effect of ‘the pill’ on their breast size. They are glad to have that kind of ‘weight gain’.Who Shouldn’t Take Hormonal Birth Control?For some people, the use of hormones is not recommended. “The pill is easy and awesome, but if you have migraines with aura (vision changes during a bad headache) or have a history of deep vein thrombosis, stroke, or other cardiac changes,” talk to your doctor to learn if you should consider another birth control option, says Dr. Greves. Moreover, if you have a blood-clotting disorder, you don’t want to take estrogen, and if you have breast cancer, you don’t want to take estrogen or progestin. Smokers and those considered overweight or obese should talk to their doctors about which contraceptives are recommended for them.Hormonal Contraception Option: The Shot, Depo, or Depo-ProveraAn injection of medroxyprogesterone (Depo-Provera) (also known as the birth control shot) can prevent pregnancy for three months.The shot contains high-dose progestin to prevent ovulation, and it also makes cervical mucus thicker to prevent sperm from reaching the egg.In most cases, your doctor or nurse will give you the shot every quarter, but in some cases, you may be able to bring the shot home to give it to yourself.How effective is the shot? Injectables are more than 99 percent effective with perfect use and 96 percent effective with typical use.How much does it cost? It can cost nothing or up to $150, and it can be free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Implant, or NexplanonThe birth control implant, also called Nexplanon, is a small rod about the size of a matchstick that is placed into the upper arm. It releases progestin to prevent pregnancy for up to three years.The implant must be inserted by a trained healthcare provider and can be removed at any time if you want to get pregnant.How effective is the implant? The implant is more than 99 percent effective.How much does it cost? It can cost anywhere between $0 and $1,300, but it’s totally free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Option: Vaginal Ring (NuvaRing or Annovera)Like combination birth control pills, the vaginal ring contains both progestin and estrogen. It’s a small ring that a woman wears inside her vagina, and the hormones work to prevent ovulation and pregnancy.There are two types of vaginal rings: ethinyl estradiol and etonogestrel (NuvaRing) and ethinyl estradiol and segesterone (Annovera). Each NuvaRing lasts for up to five weeks. You take the old one out and put in a new one about once a month, and it can be used to safely skip your period. Each Annovera ring lasts for one year, but you must put it in your vagina for three weeks, then take it out for one week every month, during which time you’ll typically have a period.How effective is the vaginal ring? Vaginal rings are more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the vaginal ring. NuvaRing can cost anywhere from $0 to $200, and Annovera can cost anywhere from $0 to $2,200. But vaginal rings can be free or low-cost with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Hormonal Birth Control Option: The Patch (Xulane or Twirla)Like the vaginal ring, the patch (brand names Xulane or Twirla) also releases estrogen and progestin, but through a patch worn on your stomach, buttocks, or back.The patch must be changed once a week for three weeks, and then you skip a week and have your period. Xulane can also be used to prevent your period if you add a new patch on the fourth week instead of skipping a week.How effective is the patch? The patch is more than 99 percent effective if used perfectly and 93 percent effective if used typically.How much does it cost? You need a prescription to get the patch. One pack of three patches lasts for up to one month and can cost from $0 to $150. It is free with most health insurance plans, Medicaid, and some government programs.Note: Hormonal treatments may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the mother’s womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation.Intrauterine Devices (IUDs)Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are one of the most effective forms of birth control. IUDs are inserted into the uterus by a trained healthcare professional and can work for up to 10 years, depending on which type you choose. They can also be removed any time if you want to get pregnant.Copper (Nonhormonal) IUDThe Paragard copper IUD (also called the copper IUD) is the only nonhormonal IUD on the market. It’s a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T that has copper wrapped around it, which prevents sperm from reaching an egg because sperm are repelled by copper.The copper IUD can be used as a regular form of birth control or as a form of emergency contraception (see more information about emergency contraception below). Paragard IUDs are the most effective form of emergency contraception. If you have one inserted within five days after having unprotected sex, it’s more than 99.9 percent effective against pregnancy and then provides very reliable contraception for up to 10 years.Hormonal IUDsLike the nonhormonal IUD, hormonal IUDs are a small piece of flexible plastic shaped like a T. They release a tiny amount of progestin into your body over several years, which helps prevent pregnancy.There are four brands of hormonal IUDs available in the United States: Mirena, Kyleena, Liletta, and Skyla. Different brands last for different lengths of time. Whichever you choose, you can have your IUD removed whenever you want.An IUD must be inserted and removed by a doctor, nurse, or another trained healthcare provider.How effective is the IUD? All IUDs are more than 99 percent effective both for perfect and typical use.How much do they cost? Anywhere from $0 to $1,300; they are free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.Note: IUD devices may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the mother’s womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation.Barrier MethodsOther than condoms, these older methods of contraception typically aren’t as effective. “Sponges or a diaphragm? I don’t want to say they are outdated, but they aren’t talked about as much today by healthcare providers,” says Bond. Most barrier methods need to be inserted into the vagina before sex, so “they take away from the romance aspect of engaging in sex,” she adds.Similarly, “a diaphragm doesn’t work that great,” says Greves. “It’s better than nothing, but I don’t remember the last time I recommended it to someone.”On the other hand, male condoms and internal condoms remain effective forms of contraception that can also help prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs).Barrier Method Option: DiaphragmA diaphragm is a shallow, flexible cup made of silicone that you put inside your vagina. It covers the cervix and acts as a barrier so sperm can’t reach an egg.Diaphragms are most effective when they’re used with spermicide (a cream or gel that kills sperm).Your doctor must fit you for a diaphragm and give you a prescription, and then you can get one at a pharmacy, drugstore, or health center. After that, you can insert it and remove it yourself.How effective is the diaphragm? If used perfectly with spermicide, the diaphragm is 84 percent effective. With typical use, it’s 83 percent effective.How much does it cost? Anywhere from $0 to $250. You can probably get a free or inexpensive diaphragm with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, and some government programs. Spermicide, which is available over-the-counter at the drugstore, costs about $5 to $15 per kit.Barrier Method Option: SpongeThe sponge is small and round and made of soft, squishy plastic.You insert it deep inside your vagina up to 24 hours before you have sex. It covers your cervix and contains spermicide to help prevent pregnancy. The Today sponge, the only brand of sponge available in the United States; is sold at pharmacies, drugstores, and some supermarkets.How effective is the sponge? With perfect use, the sponge is 80 to 91 percent effective (it’s more effective if you’ve never given birth); with typical use, it’s 73 to 86 percent effective.How much does it cost? It costs about $15 for a pack of three. You may be able to get low-cost or free sponges at Planned Parenthood or another health center.Barrier Method Option: Cervical CapLike the diaphragm, the cervical cap is a silicone cup, but it’s smaller. You insert the cap deep in your vagina to cover the cervix and prevent sperm from reaching an egg. It’s also more effective when used with spermicide. FemCap is the only type of cervical cap available in the United States.Cervical caps are sold in pharmacies, drugstores, and health centers, but you need a prescription. A nurse or doctor will need to examine you to determine which size cervical cap is best for you.How effective is the cervical cap? Like the sponge, the cervical cap is more effective if you’ve never given birth. If you’ve never given birth, the cervical cap is 86 percent effective. If you have given birth, the cap is 71 percent effective.How much does it cost? The cap costs between $0 and $275, not including spermicide. You can probably get a cervical cap for free or low-cost with most types of health insurance, Medicaid, and other government programs.Barrier Method Option: Male CondomsMale condoms are worn as a sheath over the penis during sex. They prevent pregnancy by stopping sperm from getting into the vagina, so it can’t reach and fertilize an egg.Male condoms are used to avoid pregnancy, and they can also reduce the transmission of STIs. Most male condoms are made of latex, but some are made of plastics like polyurethane, polyisoprene, and nitrile for those who are allergic to latex. Lambskin and other animal membrane condoms also prevent pregnancy, but they don’t protect you from STIs.How effective are condoms? If used perfectly, male condoms are 98 percent effective, or 87 percent effective if used typically.How much do they cost? Male condoms are available in most drugstores, grocery stores, convenience stores, health clinics, online, and vending machines. A box of three usually costs between $2 and $6. Lower-cost or free condoms are available at various health centers.Barrier Method Option: Internal CondomsInternal condoms are soft plastic pouches that you put inside your vagina or anus before you have sex. They prevent pregnancy by covering the inside of your vagina, creating a barrier that stops sperm from reaching an egg. They also help prevent transmission of STIs if worn in the vagina or anus.Internal condoms were once known as “female” condoms, but they can be used by people of any gender. The only brand of internal condom that’s available in the United States is the FC2 Female Condom. It’s available online, at many health centers, and by prescription in drugstores.How effective are internal condoms? If used perfectly, internal condoms are 95 percent effective. If used typically, they are 79 percent effective.How much do they cost? They usually cost about $2 or $3 each, but they are covered by most types of health insurance if you have a prescription. Some health centers may offer them for free.Natural Family Planning and Fertility Awareness MethodsNatural family planning or fertility awareness methods,(FAM); generally involve a woman taking note of the most fertile days of her menstrual cycle and avoiding sex during these days.They include the Billings ovulation method, in which a woman looks at the consistency of her cervical mucus (long and stringy just before ovulation), and tracking basal body temperature (which rises a small amount during ovulation) to predict the time with the lowest odds of pregnancy.RELATED: 6 Family Planning and Natural Approaches to Birth Control That Are Legitimate Contraception MethodsFAM takes a lot of dedication, both to track changes over several months and to avoid vaginal sex (or use condoms) when most fertile. “I don’t think FAM is reliable,” says Bond. “There is pre-ejaculation that can contain sperm that you can become pregnant by. If you are not sure about taking some kind of pill, or other hormonal contraception, you should consider using condoms, because they are easy and don’t require that much change in the body.” How effective is FAM? The effectiveness of fertility awareness methods including the Billings method varies widely, with a failure rate of less than 1 percent to up to 12 percent with perfect use, and from 2 percent all the way up to 34 percent with typical use.How much does it cost? About $10 for a thermometer.Pulling Out, or WithdrawalPulling out, also known as withdrawal, is when a man removes his penis from the vagina just before ejaculating. It’s tricky, because pre-ejaculate can form before withdrawal. Avoiding pregnancy means keeping all sperm away from the vagina, and with this method, even a small amount of sperm can get into the vagina and lead to pregnancy. This method is best used when combined with another birth control method, such as condoms.How effective is withdrawal? The withdrawal method is 96 percent effective with perfect use and 80 percent effective with typical use.How much does it cost? Nothing, but condoms are recommended.Abstinence and OutercourseAvoiding any kind of vaginal, anal, or oral sex is called abstinence, and activities such as kissing, dry-humping, masturbating, massage, and talking about fantasies are considered outercourse. The idea is to keep sperm away from the vagina to avoid pregnancy, but these methods require a lot of dedication and willpower.Terms like ‘titty fucking’, ‘crotch fucking’, ‘jerking off’, and anal copulation; as well as fellatio (oral-induced male ejaculation), cunnilingus (oral-induce female climax), or nipple stimulation; are the most common outercourse options for a pleasurable climax without vagina penetration by the penis.How effective are abstinence and outercourse? 100 percent.How much does it cost? Nothing.Vasectomy: The Ultimate Birth Control?Considering a vasectomy? Learn about its effectiveness, risks, and impact on sexual performance. Make an informed choice!Permanent Methods of Contraception: Tubal Ligation and VasectomyFor women, sterilization or tubal ligation is a way to permanently prevent pregnancy. It requires surgery to seal off the fallopian tubes so that an egg can never reach a sperm and be fertilized.Learn More About How to Get Your Tubes Tied: What to Know About Permanent Birth ControlFor men, vasectomy is the option for permanent birth control. A vasectomy is a simple surgery in which the small tubes in the scrotum that carry sperm are cut or blocked off, so sperm can’t leave the body and cause pregnancy.Permanent sterilization methods do not protect against sexually transmitted infections; condoms are still necessary to reduce the chances of contracting an STI. While vasectomy and tubal ligation reversal procedures exist, they are pricey and not always effective. Choose these options if you are sure you don’t want to have children (or more children).How effective is permanent contraception? Tubal sterilization and vasectomy both have a failure rate close to 0 percent.How much does it cost? Tubal ligation can cost anywhere from $0 to $6,000. A vasectomy costs between $0 and $1,000. Both tubal ligation and vasectomies may be totally free (or low-cost) with some health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.Emergency ContraceptionIf used as soon as possible after unprotected sex, emergency contraception (EC) is a safe way to prevent pregnancy. Methods are more or less effective depending on a few variables, such as your weight and how long it has been since you had unprotected sex.EC comes in several forms:The Progestin (Levonorgestrel) Pill, or Plan B One-StepThe progestin (levonorgestrel) pill, also known as the “morning-after pill” and by the leading brand name, Plan B One-Step, must be taken within 72 hours (three days) of unprotected sex.How effective is the progestin (levonorgestrel) pill? Levonorgestrel pills can lower your chance of getting pregnant by 75 to 89 percent if you take them within three days after unprotected sex.How much does it cost? Plan B usually retails for approximately $40 to $50 nationwide. Generic versions usually cost about $11 to $45. If you have health insurance or Medicaid, it’s likely that you can get the progestin pill for free, you just have to ask your nurse or doctor for a prescription (even though you don’t need a prescription to buy these types of pills over-the-counter). You may also be able to get the morning-after pill for free or low-cost from a health center or family planning clinic.EllaA pill that contains ulipristal acetate, also known by the brand-name Ella, must be taken within five days of unprotected sex. You need a prescription to get Ella, either by seeing your doctor or getting a prescription online.How effective is Ella? Ella reduces your chances of getting pregnant by 85 percent if you take it within five days after unprotected sex.How much does it cost? Ella usually costs about $50 at a pharmacy or drugstore, but it might be free if you have health insurance or Medicaid. You may also be able to get Ella for free or low-cost from a health center or family planning clinic. Depending on which state you live in, you may be able to get a prescription for Ella directly from your pharmacist.The Yuzpe methodThe Yuzpe method involves taking higher than usual doses of combination birth control pills that have both estrogen and progestin. This method is most effective within three days of unprotected sex, and it must be done under the supervision of a physician (the number of pills you would take depends on the brand of birth control you use).How effective is the Yuzpe method? The Yuzpe method is thought to be about 75 percent effective at preventing pregnancy.How much does it cost? It costs the same as combination birth control pills, which you would usually already have on hand if you are using this method.Note: Hormonal treatments may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the mother’s womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation. The hormone dose also induces a prompt mentruational flow.The Copper IUDThe copper Paragard IUD is a non-hormonal IUD. Once the IUD is inserted into the uterus, it makes it hard for sperm to fertilize an egg. When used as a form of EC, the copper IUD is most effective if used within five days after unprotected sexHow effective is the copper IUD? It’s more than 99.9 percent effective against pregnancy and then provides very reliable contraception for up to 10 years.How much does it cost? It costs the same as when it’s used for regular contraception, anywhere from $0 to $1,300, but it is often free or low-cost with many health insurance plans, Medicaid, and other government programs.Note:  IUD devices may also prevent a conception from securely attaching to the mother’s womb (nidation), resulting in a very early miscarriage which often appears to be a normal menstruation. Some liken it to a ‘coat-hanger abortion’ device, but inserted by a medical professional, to limit damage to the woman’s body, while effectively puncturing any amniotic sack in the uterus.RELATED: Learn More About Emergency Contraception

An essay on the history of Polyamory.By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. What is Polyamory?Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path. This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family. The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner. Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.  Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society.  This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found that loving another person in no way diminished the feelings they have for another person, they want recipients for their love.Another opposition of Polyamory comes from the idea of traditional family. Again coming to my defense is Kilbride. In "Plural Marriage for our Times", he states this valid point: Those who cling to the idea of the "traditional" as the absolute baseline against which all other change must be measured need only reflect on our own marital and family patterns over the last century or so to see that the idea of the traditional is itself always subject to changing circumstances.  Indeed, this makes itself true. The modern idea of family is a smaller unit than it was in previous eras. Most of our ancestors lived in houses with several generations of their family, all worked together and shared duties and responsibilities. They all took care of each other. The workload was not too heavy on any one person.The third opposition comes from the stigma given from the church and those values, in turn, handed down from generation to generation. Most churches do not approve of Polyamory and are actively against it, stating Polyamory is disapproved of in the Bible. In an interview with Hanna Wolfson from the Detroit news, Stephen Butt, a polygamous man, stated his case for polygamy. My family and I believe that plural marriage is allowed for in the bible to meet practical, real needs, and this should be acknowledged by the Christian Church. Obviously polygamy can't be something that's immoral if God allowed it with (David and Solomon, and many others) whom he showed so much favor. I am in agreement with this point. Why would God tell his "favorites" they could have more than one wife and not allow anyone else to have the same privilege? That doesn't seem to fit with the Christian ideal of God as fair and just. I think the Christians need to re-evaluate their position on this issue and read the bible a little closer. If they did, perhaps they would find real proof for Polyamory instead of bending the Bible to disprove Polyamory.So why do people want to be polyamorous? Kilbride tells us in "Plural Marriage for our Times" about one LA radio station that asked the question "Why would one want to date a married man?" One caller stated she used to have an affair with a married man. She loved the man and his wife and helped them through the pregnancy and birth of a defective child. She would never have tried to steal the husband from the wife and the wife knew this. The woman caller was a good friend to the husband and wife. The wife, who was very worried about the child she was carrying, knew and consented to what was going on in the relationship with her husband and friend. With someone else to satisfy the husband and be sure he was taken care of, the woman was more relaxed, taking some of the stress from her unborn child. In times of strife, people have been known to turn to sex as a means of consolation.The friend could have provided this for the husband. Both the husband and wife must have been worried about the child and it is always nice to have another shoulder to lean on in times of strife. With the United States being a country that preaches freedom of expression, it limits us to say there is one and only one valid form of the expression of love. To quote Kilbride's "Plural Marriage for our Times", "Monogamy is seen as splendid for many but unworkable for others, and it is for the latter that some form of plural marriage should be a choice." Many of the people I chatted with on my Polyamory message board said they had been involved in or had explored the possibility of monogamy and were not happy with the results. Nunsense wrote, "I tried to explore the possibility of being monogamous, and realized that, while I did have a revelation about jealousy. I still have no clue what it would be like to want one person only for the rest of my life. Being open to love, in all its aspects, is a part of who I am."I have to respect that statement and I have to admire the courage of these people in trying to be monogamous. They at least have a basis for comparison and have found that love is a wonderful thing. SophiaP expresses one of the most heartwarming points toward polygamy. "One of the amazing things about coming out as poly is that I find that I am now able to love someone more because I love someone else. Suddenly, I find myself loving both men more, just because I love each individually. What a wonderful thing!" Being a polyamorous person myself, this speaks volumes to me about how I feel about being free to express my love with more than one person. It offers an inside look at the heart of a poly person. Kathy Labriola, in her pamphlet "Are you Open to an Alternative Lifestyle?" states, "Many people try to live a monogamous lifestyle and find it just does not meet their needs. They come to believe that is it unrealistic to expect any one person to fulfill all their needs for intimacy, companionship, love and sex for the rest of their lives. Many people become non-monogamous as a way to avoiding some of the problems they have experienced in monogamous relationships."Polyamorous people are usually independent and have many sources of emotional support rather than depending on their spouse for everything. Polyamorous people are assertive and able to voice their own needs clearly and honestly. Polyamory can strengthen relationships by encouraging each partner to be honest with themselves and each other and to communicate clearly about their feelings. After the initial fear of change subsides, many people feel comfortable with Polyamory as long as they feel secure that they are loved and will not be abandoned. Most people experience less of the anxiety and more of the satisfaction of Polyamory if they know what to expect and feel secure that their partners will abide by rules that are mutually agreed upon.There are many benefits for children associated with Polyamory. There were major findings in Kilbride's "Plural Marriage for our Times" about the effects of polygamous families on children. A study group of 150 Anglo Children from non-conventional backgrounds and a control group of fifty children from conventional families were tracked until they entered junior high school. One result showed that eighty-six percent of non-conventional families scored above median grades and test scores. Their IQ test scores averaged 113, which is higher than the national norm of 100. The results suggest that non-conventional families do not have undesirable effects on children. Divorce, on the other hand, has been found harmful to children. If more partners were added to the core family, there would be less divorce. If there is not a divorce, there are no stepfamilies or single parent families, which would improve the standings of child abuse for the better. Norval Glenn stated in his pamphlet "Closed Hearts, Closed Minds: A Textbook Study of Marriage", "Sexual abuse is more common in step-families; child abuse and serious injury are more common in single parent families." There would be less tension between the new siblings and new parental figures. The new parent would not have to step in and take a parental role to the children of the core marriage from the beginning. It would be a gradual process. Animosity would be reduced and "playing the parents" would be little if any at all.Polyamory gives already stressed parents an extra hand in our time of high paced society. In "An Immodest Proposal" by Julie Ann Kessler, Elizabeth Joseph, one of eight wives of Alex Joseph, proclaims the polygamous lifestyle is a way to empower career minded women. She states, "I've maximized my female potential without the tradeoffs associated with monogamy." She went to a law school knowing her husband was in good care. She also is proud of the fact her eight year old has never seen the inside of a daycare. The Josephs say there are not a lot of good men, so it is better if good women marry the same man. In the words of Kessler, writer for the Claremont Institute, "In these times when our understanding of the nature of family has expanded to include two mommies and two daddies, blended families and single parent families, why not include polygamous families?" Why indeed? It has shown successful for not only the parents, but for the children, since daycares are seen as harmful for young children. It also alleviated the stress from the college student mother. Her child was in good care while she attended classes and worked on homework. When women become wives and mothers, society dumps the success of the family and household on the women. Glenn comments on the health of married women of this situation in "Closed Hearts: Closed Minds". He states, "A few studies have shown that some symptoms of stress, including chronic depression, occur more often among married women than among either unmarried women or married men, which does suggest that marriage is either more stressful on or less helpful to, at least some married women."This might be because the nuclear family leads women to do not only a career job but another job at home with children, cooking, cleaning, and finance to name a few. With another woman in the household, these duties are split, making it easier. Polygamy also helps with satisfaction of sexual desires. Kilbride puts it best when he says, "A couple can't just put the kids to bed, flip a switch on, become physical, catch up on work and go to sleep."  If another woman is there, a woman feels better about the nights she doesn't feel like having sex or is just too tired to care. She doesn't have to make excuses; she can sleep easy knowing her husband is happy.What are the downsides of Polyamory? In my research, I found only two real problems with Polyamory. The first problem is, of course, social stigma. I have talked to some poly people from the Loving More message board. They were very shy to talk about their lifestyle, fearing being looked down upon by friends, family, co-workers, ex spouses or boyfriends who will come back on them. Being openly published as poly could lead to their children being taken from them. They fear not only hypothetical but also literal lynchings that have happened to poly people in the past. Norval in "Closed Hearts: Closed Minds" writes, "The more pressing danger is posed by negative stereotypes of alternative family forms, which encourage racial prejudice and may created social pressures that discourage us as individuals from freely choosing," (Aulette) When people are brought up in a household that discriminates against those who are different, it creates a breeding ground not only for more hate, but jealousy against those people who are happy being different, especially when the haters are trapped in their misery. Kilbride poses his point on this matter in "Plural Marriage for our Times" when he says, "It seems easily verifiable that our national American Culture, in its narrowly focused absolutionist vision of heterosexual monogamy as the only proper marital form has caused much suffering to many, if not most, Americans."  If more people were allowed to choose an alternative marriage, those people on the whole would be healthier and happier.One of the problems that can come from social stigma is not being able to share the elements of your life with your family. Jon Melusky, a personal interview and moderator for the Loving More message board told me his ideas on Polyamory. He and his wife are a poly couple. I asked for his input on how open he was with non-poly relatives. His response was very positive. "Some relatives would not understand and are private people so we respect their boundaries in certain topics. Some relatives are cool and can be told anything and a deeper bond can happen with them." It is wonderful for Jon that he has family with whom he can speak on this matter. Many poly people keep their relationships private from family and friends altogether.The other problem I have seen with Polyamory is jealousy. I can honestly state from personal opinion, jealousy is a dangerous beast to tame in any relationship, let alone a relationship in which a partners are sharing one another. When my husband and I decided to relax our ideas of monogamous marriage, I was all for the idea. Having another person I could share ideas with and love and be loved by was a wonderful idea. When my husband brought Jane home I became insanely jealous. I never communicated my feelings with my husband or with Jane. When they started to getting along better, the jealousy spiked. I still kept the feelings to myself because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. When they started flirting, I exploded and broke off any potential relationship we could have had, even though it went against my better judgment. Jealousy won in my relationship and I have regretted it ever since. Jealousy is a multi-layered emotion composed of anger, fear, hurt, betrayal, anxiety, agitation, sadness, paranoid, depression, loneliness, envy, coveting, feeling powerless, feeling inadequate, and feeling excluded. It is not easy to pick the feelings apart and examine so emotions may be expressed in a calm and diplomatic manner. Most of the time, it ends up in a rage like my relationship with my husband and Jane. If the lines of communication would have been open and I would have had more practice letting people in, the relationship might have survived. There is a ray of light, however, for those who need professional help. There are poly friendly counselors such as Kathy Labriola who is more than willing to help families overcome their jealousy. She has even published pamphlets on the subject. They have been posted online to help those who cannot get help from a poly friendly counselor.Polyamory is not a new system: it has been around since human creation. How is it fairing in modern society? Joe Costanzo reported it from the Deseret news that Joseph Ginat, a University of Haifa professor said pockets of plural marriage including those in Utah will benefit from national growth and new membership and stated plural marriage is practiced by seventy-eight percent of the world's populations. Ginat predicted continued growth of Polyamory because of the large numbers of kids being raised in the culture and increasing membership. On this note, I asked Jon, my friend from the message board, why he first chose to be involved in Polyamory. He said, "Both [myself and my wife] tried bisexuality and loved it. But now it is more about two people can't fulfill 100% of each other's needs. The more the merrier in getting needs met and supporting each other in projects and other tasks, too." I then asked how he handled the pressure of a society who does not believe in poly ideals. His reply was, "I get frustrated at the TV for not showing my values, sometimes. But I try not to measure my self worth by what society thinks or feels." If anything, Polyamory is going to stay because of the mindset of the people involved in poly relationships. When the polyamorous people are only slightly annoyed with misrepresentation, the practice will continue as long as we can find quiet little spots to settle and raise a family.In closing, I would like to say that as being a poly person, it is most definitely not easy being poly. In no way, shape or form does it just "happen". There are the marital disputes that every marriage has and those are compounded when you include another person. However, it is not impossible and is very probable and practical when you take it one day at a time and lay everything out on the table. Keep lines open and completely honest. Even if it would hurt someone's feelings, if it is how you feel, and you tell them, it makes it that much easier to repair. I am a firm advocate for Polyamory and all the practices that go along with it.  While being poly is most assuredly not for everyone, for those who have been lacking and needing it, having the option open to them is like a breath of fresh air. I know, for one, I am happier knowing should I find someone else to make me happy that I will not have to leave my partner or choose between them. My family that I currently have will not fall apart. I will continue to have the love of a person that means so very much to me. My son will continue to have the love and support of both of his parents in the same household. No divorce, no torn heartstrings. While there may be rough spots, we will persevere because we love one another and because we can openly and honestly communicate or we always try to communicate, even if the lines are fuzzy sometimes.By darkgoddess2478 for Literotica

Phallic Shapes And Features There Are 20 Different Penis Types; and They’re All Important Based on the works of Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, for Healthline. Listen to the Podcast at How To sex. Penises come in a wide variety of different shapes, sizes, and styles, and you can have sex that satisfies you and your partner no matter how you’re hung. Trying out plenty of positions can help you find the ones that hit just the right spot. Penises are as unique as the people they hang from, and they’re all good. More than good, really. There’s no such thing as a bad shape or size; just bad information on how to use it. Let’s talk about what makes all penises awesome, how to love the one you’ve got, and how to make the most of it if you have sex. What is a penis? The penis is an organ (no, not a muscle) that’s made primarily of spongy tissue. This spongy tissue fills with blood to cause an erection, so you can have penetrative solo or partnered sex. It looks pretty straightforward, but a penis is actually quite complex, thank you very much. It consists of the glans (head), corpus (shaft), and prepuce (foreskin). It’s also home to the urethra; the thin tube through which urine and semen exits the body. What’s the typical shape, size, and other characteristics? If there’s anything typical about penis shape, it’s that most tend to be cylindrical, often with a wider; or at least a more pronounced; head. Curved upward Like a banana, this penis curves slightly upward, at least when it’s erect. Orgasms aren’t the be-all and end-all of partnered sex, but having the upward curve provides an advantage by making it easier to stimulate the G-spot, A-spot, and prostate. Pro tip: You can keep it simple with any variation of the missionary position and still rock their world thanks to that curve. That goes for penis-in-vagina (P-in-V) and anal sex. Curved downward The curved downward penis is just as it sounds: a penis that, when hard, has a slight downward curve. Think: A banana turned upside down. Like your upward counterpart, your curve also gives you an edge when it comes to reaching the hot spots that run along the front wall of the vagina or rectum. The key to making the most of the curve is flipping your partner(s) around to get you closer to those pleasure spots. Pro tip: Turn that frown upside down with rear-entry positions. C-shaped This type of penis has a noticeable curve to the right. If you or a partner is rockin’ a curve, a willingness to experiment with different angles will help you find what works for everyone. Positions that allow you to work the curve toward the front wall of the vagina or rectum give you the same hot-spot advantage as those with banana shapes. Pro tip: Try the T-bone. This position begins with the penetrating partner on their side with their curve pointed toward the sky. The receiving partner lies on their back in a T angle and drapes their legs over their partner’s hip, ready for P-in-V or anal. Straight The straight penis maintains pretty much the same shape from shaft to head. With no angles to accommodate, you can eenie-meenie-miney-mo your way through every sex position you both consent to with little-to-no tweaking required. Pro tip: Give and get the most with any position that makes it easy to reach each other’s erogenous zones for simultaneous, manual, or sex toy play. Bigger base with narrow head This penis is thicker at the base and narrows as you get closer to the head, giving it a cone shape. Like all shapes, this one’s got some solid perks. The narrower head makes for easier entry, and a wider base provides more stimulation the deeper you go. Pro tip: If you’re both open to anal, the cone is basically built for butt play (just like butt plugs) because the gradual increase in girth helps stretch the anus. Use a lot of lube and tease with just the tip before going deeper. Narrow base with larger head The hammer penis, which is long and thin with a much larger head, has all the makings for a good nailing. Wink. The extra girth at the tip stimulates the vaginal or rectal walls, creating friction that’ll feel good for both. Pro tip: Choose positions that allow the receiver to open wide and stimulate their clit or peen at the same time for easier entry. Classics positions, like missionary and cow, are totally hammer-friendly. Length And Girth Penises don’t just come in different shapes. They come in a variety of lengths and thicknesses, too. Regardless of the combo you’re working with, the right moves can make them all pleasurable. Smaller-than-average length and girth The 'Gherkin' The “gherkin” falls on the shorter and narrower side of average. Don’t you dare knock the smaller stature, because porn-sized D’s aren’t necessary for amazing sex. Pro tip: If you want to go deep, some positions are better than others. Doggy style is one of the best for P-in-V or anal sex if you each like it deep. If you’re flexible, the pile driver is fantastic. Shorter-than-average length and thick girth Kielbasa The “kielbasa” is shorter, stout, and able to stimulate the vaginal or rectal walls like nobody’s business. There are oodles of sensitive nerve-endings packed in and around either entry point, so the shorter length makes for some pretty toe-curling penetration for both parties. Pro tip: Use lots of lube, take it slow, and master the dog positions, like traditional doggy or downward-facing dog (yes, like the yoga pose), if you want to go deep and hit the G, A, or P spot. Average length and girth Cucumber Congrats, Goldicocks! The “cucumber” isn’t too big or too small, but just right for any position you want to try; no tweaking necessary. Pro tip: Experiment to find your most mind-blowing positions. Try variations on all the classics, and throw some standing sex positions into the mix. Larger-than-average length and girth Salami The “salami” is the type of appendage you’re most likely to see in porn: long and thick. While it may leave some jumping for joy, it can also be a little daunting to take in — literally. The key to making the most of it is to use lots of lube and try positions that let the receiver have more control. Pro tip: Lube up, and try positions that allow the partner on the receiving end to keep their legs tight to control the depth. You can do this with missionary, spooning, and even rear-entry positions. Larger-than-average length and thin girth Pencil To be clear, the “pencil” type isn’t actually pencil-thin, but it’s notably longer and narrower than average. To make the best use of a thin penis, stick to tight-legged positions. The tighter space is pleasurable for all and still lets the receiver control how much of the length they take in. Pro tip: Try spooning. Coming in from behind creates a tight space and requires extra length; which this type’s got; to reach. Spooning also works for anal and can be ramped up by adding a dildo for some DP action. You’re welcome. Skin color Regardless of race, a penis can be considerably different from the rest of the person it’s attached to. The same goes for vulvas and nipples. This is because of your sex hormones regulate melanocyte cellsTrusted Source, which are responsible for pigmentation. Rising testosterone levels throughout life makes skin darker, with a brown or grayish hue down there. Blood flow during erections can make it reddish or even purple. It’s all totally common and has zero impact on function. Circumcised Circumcised penises; which make up 37 to 39 percent of the peens of the world; have had the foreskin removed. This means the head is on display at all times, and there’s no need to pull back skin to access it. When it comes to pleasure, having or not having foreskin makes no difference. Pro tip: Lube always makes for a good time, whether you have foreskin or not. But if you’re cut, using it could minimize chafing for you during a long or particularly snuggly session. Uncircumcised An uncircumcised penis has the foreskin intact. Only part of the head is visible unless it’s erect and, even then, it depends on how much skin there is. Pro tip: Foreskin works like a sleeve o’ pleasure when enjoying solo or partnered hand action. Alternate between sliding it back and forth over the head and gently pulling it back and exposing the head for some targeted attention. Hairy Hair around the base of the penis and balls is pretty much a given, unless it’s removed. You may even notice a few stragglers on the shaft. It’s all good! Pro tip: If you’re going au naturel, be sure to keep things clean and fresh. If you or a partner prefers a trim or hairless nether region, take care to avoid painful mishaps. Smooth With not a vein or bump in sight, a smooth penis makes for a silky smooth entry. Pro tip: Want more? Mix things up with textured condoms or a cock ring for a totally different sensation. Veiny Some cocks have uber-accentuated veins, especially when they’re aroused. A veiny penis comes down to genetics and muscle, and it’s totally not a big deal. Pro tip: Even super veiny peens are unlikely to affect how penetration feels, but if you want to change it up, you can try thicker or differently textured condoms. Freckled Freckles come down to pigmentation that can be more pronounced in some areas than others. It’s purely aesthetic. Pro tip: Freckles on any skin is typical, but if you or your partner is worried that the spotted appearance may be more than freckles, hit pause and talk with a healthcare professional. Show-er A show-er refers to a penis that stays pretty much the same size whether it’s erect or not. Experts don’t know why it happens, but it appears to be relatively common according to the research available. Pro tip: Proceed as usual! Grower According to one study of 274 participants, 26% of penises are growers, which means they get bigger when they’re hard. Pro tip: Nothing more to do except get busy! Things to know Think you know it all when it comes to your penis? Here are some things you might not know, but should. Boners help keep your penis healthy Boners happen by way of blood flow and that blood carries oxygen to you penis that helps keep it in shape. If you’re able to get erections, by all means do. Masturbate, have sex with a partner, or do anything else that gets you hard; whether you climax or not. Sex dreams and morning wood count. Keeping your body and mind healthy, matters, too. Your physical and mental health can impact your penis health, so staying on top of both is important if you want to keep your penis functioning at its best. The same healthy lifestyle habits that reduce your risk of chronic diseases can also help your penis, including:     eating a balanced diet     getting regular movement     getting enough sleep     keeping your stress levels down     limiting or avoiding smoking Be safe, for penis sake! If you have partnered sex, use a barrier and get tested for sexually transmitted infections (STI) as often as is recommended. Your partners should ideally do the same. If you plan to have sex without a condom, know the risks and have a candid conversation with your partner(s) about status and expectations. Learning about preventative medications is also a good idea. Lube is a peen’s BFF Lube doesn’t just provide the wet and slippery goodness that feels oh so good; it also reduces the risk of an STI. Lube prevents too much friction, which causes condoms to break and irritates and tears the skin of the penis, vagina, or anus, opening you and your partner(s) up to infections. Get to know your penis Getting to know your penis will make it easier to spot any new or unusual changes that could indicate an underlying health condition. Pay attention to how your dick looks and feels when you masturbate. Take a moment to inspect it in the shower. Don’t forget to check your balls while you’re at it. A new or significant curvature could be a sign of Peyronie’s disease, a plaque formation on the corporal body of the penis that can cause difficulty with sexual intercourse. See a doctor if your notice a new curve or bend to your penis. See a healthcare professional if you or a partner notices anything out of the ordinary, like lumps or bumps, discoloration, or unusual discharge. Based on the works of Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, for Healthline Broken Cock  Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life. By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. I Fucked up. I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis. When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming blood I was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think you’re cumming but it doesn’t stop and its blood) At this point I’m panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately. I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood that’s coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital. The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesn’t have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department. Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.  I need surgery. The surgery is a process called “de gloving” where they “de-glove” the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own. About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I don’t remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out. I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days. These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them. Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain. Worst of all? Erections. As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable. Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.  I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didn’t clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter. I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. I’m actually leaving out some details because I’m not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as I’m trying to recall it. As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks. Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft — Here's What That Means Proceed with caution if you're squeamish. BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018 There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one. What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")? First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis contains two chambers of tissue called the corpus cavernosum, which fill with blood when the penis becomes erect. Blunt force to an erect penis can tear the sheath surrounding these chambers (and even rupture the erectile tissue inside) so that the blood inside leaks out to other areas of the penis. If you need another visual, Alex Shteynshlyuger, a urologist in New York City, says to think of this covering less like a bone and "more like a sausage casing." (Doctors, however, call the covering of the corpus cavernosum the "tunica albuginea.") How do penile fractures happen? A penis can be broken during vigorous penetrative sex or through masturbation. When this happens during partnered sex involving a penis and vagina, "generally speaking, the penis will come out of the vagina and strike against the pubic bone," says Leslie Deane, an associate professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. While a penis can fracture during sex in any position, research suggests that Female on top, or rear-entry positions such as ‘reverse cowgirl’ or ‘doggy style’ may lead to penile fractures more often than ‘missionary’ or ‘spooning.’ A penis may be more likely to exit a vagina or anus entirely when thrusting from behind and then, instead of reentering, bang against something hard like the perineum. (If you're an anal sex beginner, it's important to take things slow. Deane says penile fractures aren't uncommon, and that he sees several cases a year. He adds that he observes higher rates of the injury around Valentine's Day and that alcohol is sometimes involved. What does a broken dick look like? According to Stacy Loeb, an assistant professor of urology and population health at New York University, a penile fracture may be accompanied by a popping noise, a rapid loss of erection, and acute pain. "The penis may develop swelling and bruising, referred to as an 'eggplant deformity,'" Loeb says. This means that the eggplant emoji isn't totally off-base as a representation of dicks: It just looks like a broken one. Shteynshlyuger adds that some penile fractures lead to bleeding from the tip of the urethra and that patients may notice blood in their urine. If you're having fun with a penis that suddenly "pops," goes soft, and causes its owner immense pain, seek medical attention immediately. You might have a broken dick on your hands. How is a broken penis treated? Still reading? Good, because there's some positive news: If treated, broken dicks stand a great chance of making a full recovery. Unfortunately, Deane says, surgery is required in most cases. While there are less severe penile injuries that can occur during sex, such as a tear of one of the superficial veins, the only way to know for sure what's going on is to head to the emergency room. It's also important to do it fast: "Surgical repair of the tear usually results in good outcomes," Shteynshlyuger emphasizes. However, "If a penile fracture is severe and not treated in a timely manner, it can lead to problems with obtaining or maintaining erections, [or] it may also cause scar formation in the penis and a condition called Peyronie's disease, which causes curvature and deformity of the penis." After surgery to repair the ruptured "sausage casing" inside the penis, the recovering patient should be able to have sex again in about six to eight weeks, although Deane advises going slow at first. This doesn't mean that wild, headboard-rattling sex is off the table after a penile fracture, but it's not a bad idea for patients to ease their way back in. Hard Flaccid Syndrome A rare condition that affects some men, is called Hard Flaccid. They have a stiff, but smaller-than-erect cock. It’s painful, inhibits real erection, prevents ejaculation, and has constant pain which increases during urination. Our best investigations conclude that it comes from a likely combination of muscle injury coupled with an anxiety or stress disorder. Many people manifest stiff muscles under stress. More often it’s neck, back, or chest muscles.  But rarely it’s the pelvic floor muscles which connect the pelvic bone to the tailbone. When women do Kegal exercises for better vagina constriction, they are working those same pelvic floor muscle groups. But when a physical injury leads to muscle spasms, like common back injuries cause, The spasms can lead to a precipitous chain of other ‘self preservation’ conditions. The Hard Flaccid Syndrome is believed to be just such a ‘perfect storm’ chain of events. Let’s hear from a few men who are dealing with this, and what their progress entails. ‘Old Will’ said; “I had Hard-Flaccid for about two years. Low labido, cold penis, glands sometimes had white spots. Then for about 8 months I practiced relaxing, worked on my anxiety and anger issues and it all over time went away. I started off on anxiety meds and that's when I noticed hard-flaccid getting better. Suddenly it hit me that the only thing I hadn't thought of was managing my anxiety. I was on that for about 2 months. Then when I got off the meds it started to get a little worse but I figured, if it was really anxiety that caused it, then I needed to calm down, and stop obsessing over it. I mean, I was absolutely obsessed with curing my hard flaccid. So, I just stopped looking into it. I stopped looking for cures online. I made the decision to just enjoy life for a change, better myself and not think about all this all day. And slowly, it just returned to normal. When I first really started taking my mental health seriously, which was about 8 months ago, and the true beginning of my recovery process I lifted weights about 5 days a week. I wouldn't call myself heavyweight lifter. I did light moderate weight lifting. But I haven't been to the gym since November. I plan on going back. I'm a firm believer of exercise improving body and mind.  I masturbated during my healing process. I do think it would have made things move along a little faster, if I didn't masturbate at all, but I figured it was worse if I stressed over it. So, if I was gonna masturbate, I was going to enjoy it and have no regrets about it.  I know how difficult this is for people so I wanted to share my story and hope it helps many of you.” ‘Whirl Mind’ responded;  “Mine likely developed from a lot of sitting, possibly bad diet for a few days or spicy food that led to minor constipation/difficult bowel movements, and general stress that increased clenching. Who knew I could injury myself by crapping too hard? Not totally sure though and I’m still in a minor flare, softer down there today though. Mine also went away pretty much completely for about 2 weeks recently, without sticking to any routine. I’m noticing some pelvic floor inflammation and extra pain at the base as of a few days ago and the HF has returned but in a more minor way. Hoping I can get over this again and also trying to work on my anxiety. My condition had suddenly turned into the thin & weightless “long flaccid” and it freaked me out at first, but after 5 days or so of that I pretty much just accepted any variance in that as good and got myself into a positive feedback loop. Note that I am an extremely high-strung person and this wasn’t easy but I was so desperate that it was imperative that I just let go. So pushing everything surrounding this shit to the back of my mind but also staying afloat on any positive changes like better hang, better fullness temporarily etc. I think this mental state was and is a huge part of the condition to focus on for most people but also a big reason why it is so fickle. I don’t know if something in particular in terms of lifestyle or diet caused this recent return to HF but I do know that my anxiety surrounding the condition was a little worse for a few days this week. I can clearly feel the issue of dysfunction at the base which seems to stem from my IC and BC muscles, because when the both the Hard-Flaccid and Long-Flaccid states leveled out and I was feeling good and much closer to normal I still dealt with many of the muscular symptoms, or what I’m assuming are muscular. Anxiety can be so hidden in our psyche and I’ve literally watched it, like a switch going on and off, effect at least the peripheral symptoms of this condition. I’ve practiced no-fap, which means abstaining from jerking off; mainly as an experiment but my erection quality is astounding at this point in time. As anxiety is dealt with, libido should increase as well as Erection Quality in the absence of a more severe issue. The uncertainty of this condition is so hard to deal with, and with some firmness & tightness down there, now present again.  I’m seriously trying to get a grip on my anxiety and will probably do some light stretches. For me personally I found that sometimes getting into a routine all to fix HF would make things worse since I was so fixated on it, so if anything I’m trying to find a balance with everything. Keep in mind I never stuck to any routine and was somewhat inconsistent, the change to Long-Flaccid happened so suddenly while I was just trying to sleep, and in pain; and the improvements that followed seemed to only come with time, working on anxiety and trying to live without thinking about this condition.” Gunz GotBunz added his encouragement; “Your symptoms are my symptoms, and I found that after being completely calm, and using the relaxation & mindfulness techniques every day, it was so easy for my wife to stimulate me my penis was so long and hard! I felt the glory of Rome that day! But alas that was but once. Anxiety always takes a toll on the body, and the more I achieve mindfulness the better and bigger my erection gets!” Numb Penis: What’s Going on and How to Fix It! By Dugan You’re watching a hot sex scene, getting it on in your backseat, or you’re taking a little “me time” with your favorite website, and, well, you notice things aren’t happening down there. What’s going on? It could be something called penis numbness. There are quite a few reasons a man can be the bewildered owner of a numb penis. Read on to learn how penis numbness reached you and then how to get him back up and at ’em! 1         Penile Injury.  Known also as penile traumas, penis injuries can cause penis numbness . A penile injury damages the blood vessels, which are essential to a healthy penis because they bring the blood that produces an erection. Lots of things can hurt a penis, such as rough sex, too much masturbating, using a too-tight grip for self-pleasure, sexual aids, and group sports. 2 Neuropathy.  Neuropathy is when a limb or appendage goes numb. This numb penis is often the effect of an illness or condition but can also be the result of the regular pinching of a nerve (say in the hip area). Neuropathy wears 2 masks. One time it feels like a cold numbness, and the next time it feels like pins-and-needles or lightning shooting through the penis. Medical conditions such as diabetes, obesity, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and some cancers can cause neuropathy. 3 Peyronie’s Disease.  Peyronie’s disease is a condition in which the penis has a curve of more than 20 percent. In addition to being a painful disease, Peyronie’s disease has been associated with loss of penile sensation in some men. The scar tissue that causes Peyronie’s can be less sensitive than regular tissue, resulting in loss of genital sensation. 4 Lifestyle.  Lifestyle is a big part of health, but it’s often the thing people are most reticent to change. Diet and exercise are significant factors that need to be addressed if there aren’t already healthy behaviors in practice. Stress can also make the problem worse, so be sure to incorporate stress-reduction techniques into each day. Changes in lifestyle have been shown time and time again to yield big results. Penis Power: How to Get It Back! Want a more-sensitive penis? In most cases, a man can regain sensitivity with a little dedication and a little help. Here are a few ways to breathe life back into a man’s boner. Address the root disease if it’s the cause. Work with doctors and therapists to first treat the disease and then treat the symptom, not vice versa. Whole-body health should always be the number one focus. Wear looser pants and underwear to give the big guy some space and not have to spend the day hugging fabric, which desensitizes it. Spend some time each day letting it all hang out in a personal space. A little air also prevents too much contact for the penis. More movement; sitting all day can deaden the nerves in the pelvic basin. Get up every hour or two to give them some freedom. Don’t go too hard, or too often, when sexing it up. For men who cycle, get a padded bicycle seat cover and padded shorts to reduce the hard compression against the nerves for prolonged rides. Proper penis care can also preserve sensation and decrease the chances of penis numbness. Lightly, but thoroughly, wash it with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then rinse and air dry. Use a reliable skin treatment oil, like Shea Butter, Almond oil, or other safe moisturizer. Avoid lotions with harmful ingredients. All of it gets absorbed into your organs, and can be toxic. Sex lubricants that might be fine for a woman’s internal organs, may be terrible for a man’s external organ. Water-based lubes evaporate very quickly, especially with rapid stroking. If your lover is stroking you hard, and the once-viscos lube, is now a tar-like glue, It can not only tear your very thin cock skin, but it can also lead to bursting internal cells inside your shaft or glans. This post is part of the How To SexPodcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.

How you can get your woman to squirt. By Alice_Roissy & dirtyjoe69. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. Today we’re discussing the manifestation of female ejaculation, or what’s commonly called ‘squirting.’ Many a woman has been subjected to shame & humiliation by an ignorant lover who assumes that the chick just pissed in bed, in the middle of lovemaking. The truth is, He caused it more than she did. And he should actually be proud of his superior coupling skills. Bless his darling heart and stupid head! Here’s an essay Please Release Me, Let Me Flow. Men’s Guide To Female Ejaculation. Introduction and tips By dirtyjoe69 Do you seek some physical confirmation that your bedroom skills are pushing your lady to the peak of desire? Are you delivering the zenith of BIG ‘O’s? When the blushed chest and moaning and screaming haven’t sufficed as proof, start exercising those arms, clip your nails and get your waders out…things are about to get real messy! Men take ejaculation for granted. It’s like a 'liquid-trophy’ of man-hood, and the source of your future legacies and heirs. But cast your mind back to that very first time you managed to squeeze some 'Gentleman’s Gel’ from the end of your 'young chap’, I guarantee you might have been writhing in ecstasy, but you were also confused and maybe even a little ashamed. My boyfriend will admit to believing he’d somehow 'broken it’ when he finally popped his cork in his teen years. With females the climax has always been much harder to tell. After all, the female orgasm never had such a visible finale, or so you’ve been led to believe. A skill possessed by most females but in reality admitted and permitted by few, female ejaculation is one of those few remaining taboos and 'un-tapped’ delights of the 21st century. You all know that your girl can’t help but spill the beans on your 'sexploits’ to her close circle of friends. She’ll be all too eager to divulge your size, expertise and finishing techniques, but never be fooled into thinking she’s dishing the dirt on herself. It’s strange but there are still some subjects considered too taboo to share over a bottle of wine, and depositing her 'load’ seems to be up there with rimming and fisting. In truth you are more likely to hear a guy discuss the pleasures of female ejaculation than you ever would a woman History dating back as far back as the 2nd Century has detailed the ability of females to ejaculate during sex. Yet often when seeking medical counsel from doctors, gynecologists, and psychiatrists, these anxious ladies were invariably told they were incontinent and needed either surgery or psychotherapy. The belief and humiliation of it being linked to incontinence stripped any sexual satisfaction, often leaving the female ashamed. After all what girl wants to earn herself the reputation of an un-intentional 'bed wetter’? Even today’s UK Censors have been known to emit footage of females ejaculating from porn films, wrongly believing it to be urine and therefore fetish orientated. In fact what these ladies are actually achieving is the absolute pinnacle of female sexual pleasure. An ejaculatory orgasm, or 'squirting’ as now commonly referred, which renders them well and truly spent! Most of us ladies who have experienced an ejaculation initially believed we’ve suffered from a leaky bladder. Instead of enjoying the sensation we were mortified to believe we had 'golden-showered’ our partner and indeed, in many cases so did you men. Lots of females, under thorough interrogation or clever coaxing will admit to having had an experience where they believed they’d 'leaked’ during sex. The feeling of ejaculating is not dissimilar to peeing, a shower of warm wet liquid and a feeling of intense release. Often it’s the guy’s reaction to ejaculation that will determine any future releases. If he’s had previous experience, or at least understands what has actually just happened, things will be significantly less embarrassing for both parties. In truth, he has skillfully hit the lucky girls G-spot and her eternal font of pleasure. If however he jumps to his feet shouting 'Fucking-Hell! You’ve pissed yourself’, the chances are your girl will dry up like the Serengeti…as will your sex life. It has taken almost 1,800 years for the subject, often considered an urban myth, to finally be an acceptable and willing bed partner. When it first started happening to me I was so paranoid I found myself looking at adult nappies in Boots Chemist surgical dressings department. You may snigger but I assure you, to a girl only in her twenties if you believe you’ve started to pee yourself during sex, it’s like the end of the world. No amount of Bulgari perfume is going hide the stench of piss sodden sheets. For our part, the fairer sex has enjoyed and indulged the sexual revolution. We found our clitoris, and in increasing numbers so have men. We’ve stocked up on toys, some of us have even engaged in threesomes, swinging and discovered the delights of Fetishes. In a relatively short time women have been sexually liberated, and for the first time in history we can finally take the lead in the bedroom and dungeon. In 1981 when Newsweek published its editorial piece 'Just How the Sexes Differ’, it claimed the major difference was 'that men ejaculate, but women do not’. Oh! How naive they were. The actual difference between men and woman is that we can 'shoot’ more, and further than you. Soon teenage girls everywhere could be enjoying their own version of the 'Soggy Biscuit’ game. Once released, the actual ejaculation itself can be a mind-blowing experience for both partners. Not only does the female get 'THE’ most intense orgasm, but also the lucky partner gets some serious dousing of love-juice. The amount of fluid 'squirted’ can vary considerably in volume. Most Doctors have settled between the 5ml and 100ml volume, but personal experience and others can testify to soaking a bath towel over the course of an evening. The amount varies as much as force of expulsion. My partner in particular will often receive a warm soaking of his balls. But on occasion, particularly during harder 'doggy style’ penetration I’ve managed to drench not only him, but also the soles of my feet and beyond. Something he’s definitely partial to. In reality many men are fascinated with this so-called 'phenomenon’ adding to the growing 'ejaculating super-female’ urban myth. Legend has it that when Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee started dating a girl named 'Bullwinkle’ it wasn’t her looks he was interested in, but her ability to 'spray her cum across the room’. That may also lead some credence to Pamela Andersons’ claim that guys’ can’t get enough of her 'trick pelvis’. Equaling the tally for all those 'pearl necklaces’ has its satisfaction, especially ejaculating during oral and I’m becoming very adept at delivering my own version, a 'sparkling-choker’. But a price does have to be paid for all this pleasure. First of all it can present a new slant on the question of 'who sleeps on the wet patch?’ Especially when we are not talking about just a loving’ spoonful, but up to half a pint and bed linen that look like they should be displayed in the Tate Modern. Forget Tracy Emmin’s 'un-made bed’. Check out my sheets, I could give Jackson Pollock a run for his money! There are a few ground rules to undertaking your quest. Do not set out believing there really is such a thing as the 'ejaculating super-female’, even if I personally would wear the t-shirt with pride. Most women can ejaculate but many don’t. In the same way that all women can orgasm even though some don’t, be it through physical or mental blockage, or just plain in-experience. When you guys first engaged in a 'five knuckle shuffle’ you got a result. It may have taken a while before you managed to produce your 'baby gravy’, but you still got hard and it captured your affections. The climax has always been much more hidden and complex in females, and as such, a source of infinite frustration in men. Giving rise to that ever popular question 'How was it for you?’ You seem to need to ask us! There are indeed many complexes in achieving female ejaculation but it’s best to start with compatible partners. Both parties have to be sexually adventurous as some women claim that their partners will literally 'wilt when showered’. Other females, especially if you’ve just 'popped their cherry 'ade’, will still dive for the bathroom absolutely mortified and convinced they have committed an indiscretion. If the idea of water-sports has intrigued you in part but you’re not too keen on urine, female ejaculation could be your 'holy grail’. Now, whoever said that condoms were passion killers has never tried a mattress protector, or jumping up halfway through a really good session to find a towel. Forget that decaying crusty sock you keep under the bed, which is covered in dead cultivations of 'man-milk’. If your girlfriend can squirt you will seriously need to upgrade. At one stage I even started obsessing about staining the mattress. This doesn’t happen but it does raise yet another issue of 'protection’. Like in Yoga where one is taught to almost reverse ones breathing pattern, in sex the female needs to control another inbuilt reflex. The building of the 'ejaculation’ does feel very much like a desire to pee and as soon as the urethra starts to tingle, second nature kicks in. When squeezed The Pubococcygeus Muscle (try get your tongue around that!), prevents the bladder leaking. It is crucial for your girlfriend to oppose this contraction and actually bear down against it. This is not an easy concept to get your head around because if you bear against the muscle that prevents you peeing, surely that means you do. Not in this instance it seems. Contraction of the muscle in this instance actually stops an orgasm from building; pretty much the same way as squeezing the base of the penis and thinking momentarily of Anne Widdecombe does in men. It does not prevent further ejaculation, just postpones it. This is the first barrier you need to deal with. Don’t be under any illusions that your girlfriend will fill your mouth with milk & honey on command. If only life were that simple. Remember the hunt for the clitoris? Well if that equaled gaining an 'A’ level qualification, getting your girlfriend to 'squirt’ for the very first time is like obtaining a PhD. The ejaculation itself does come through the urethra, the same tube used for urination. It is located just outside the vaginal opening. If you spread your ladies inner labia and trace your finger from just inside her pussy, up towards the clitoris, after about half an inch you can find a tiny hole. Almost a needle in a haystack, especially if your lady is unshaven. This is where the ejaculation fluid exits, but not where it originates. That’s the job of the 'Skene Gland’. The equivalent to a male prostate, which produces seminal fluid in males and it’s hidden between the G-spot and the clitoris. Although some insignificant traces of urine are evident, the composition is not that dissimilar to the fluid produced by the male prostate to keep all those hungry little 'baby-makers’ alive during male ejaculation. The fluid can appear like either watered down milk or can be clear in composition. It in no way offers any contraception as the fluid is expelled outside the vagina. Therefore the only conceivable purpose of female ejaculation is for pleasure. And the pleasure is intense, in many cases far surpassing any previous best. Ejaculation can take place during both a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, thus providing a magical 'third’ orgasm. If you are lost on the difference between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm, you might want to ask your girlfriend; although if you really don’t know the difference, you probably won’t have a girlfriend to ask. An ejaculation results from manipulation inside the vagina, as per a vaginal orgasm, but with an added jackpot. Giving the female an amazing double whammy orgasm. Sometimes after ejaculation the female can virtually pass out from the after-glow of forceful feelings. But don’t worry, unlike men, there’s usually more to follow. Give her a few minutes and she’ll be filling up like the office water cooler. Obviously a starting point to your crusade is required. It usually helps to wait until your lucky lady is already aroused before declaring your honorable intentions. Place a towel on the bed to help absorb your 'baptism’. Each orgasm will deliver a different volume of liquid in all manner of directions and velocity. This can range in spectacle from a trickling 5ml to a turbulent 200ml (I no longer worry about my creative juices drying up, as I reckon with my other talents I could easily always get some freelance work with the fire service). I would just also like to rectify a point here about another 'urban myth’ that we girls have been swallowing for years. When was it actually decided that the male load averaged at 10cc? Who were these 'specimens’? My boyfriend often cums so much I once actually accused him of being a freak. Bad etiquette I know, but sometimes I resemble the star attraction at a 'Bukakke’ club. I have literally eaten his humble pie though; first time I ejaculated over him he was perfecting his oral skills. I came so much he was thoroughly drenched. His hair, face and chest were totally dripping. The sheet showed perfectly where his head and torso had taken the brunt, leaving an outlined dry patch. He loved his 'baptism’ so much I counted 9 more ejaculations before rolling over, passing out and leaving him with the mess. Now there’s a novel occurrence. On other more adventurous occasions we have actually measured distances, managing up to 5ft of coverage; and I used to think the Bangkok ping-pong ball trick was impressive. If you haven’t yet introduced toys to your relationship, fingers will be more than adequate for the job. Both can achieve the desired result but for first timers you will need to feel your way around, so you should probably leave the toys until later. Scrub your hands well. Trim and if necessary file your fingernails, you don’t want to cut the poor girl (Welders, Guitarists and Builders take note: your fingers are not often noted as 'hands that do dishes’. But this is one area you can truly exploit those textured fingertips). It can also help to exercise your arms and fingers a little; you do not want to find yourself huffing 'are you nearly there yet?’ Time should not be of essence during sex unless your girlfriends expecting a birthday telegram from the Queen. Start off slowly with lots of foreplay, for both parties. Maneuver her onto her back with you positioned between her thighs. Using your fingers and tongue stimulate her clitoris. Wet your fingers and tweak her nipples to really get her going, whilst executing the best cunnilingus skills you can muster. When you sense her starting to get aroused, insert two fingers inside her with your palm facing upwards. Enter your fingers up to the second knuckle and bend upwards to create an L shape. Now gently probe around until you find a rough surface approximately 2 inches in length. This is the G-spot and is located directly behind the clitoris but inside her pussy. When you literally 'hit the spot’, start to stroke this area and it should start too en-large. Ask her to let you know if she can feel any increase in intensity. If she can’t maybe you have the wrong area so keep looking. Don’t go mad, but you may be surprised at your partner’s thresholds. Try out differing degrees of pressure as you are probing, and if necessary use some lube. Massaging the clitoris with your thumb whilst doing this also increases stimulation. If she is having trouble relaxing or is becoming self-conscious be prepared to let her see that it’s also working for you. It helps to see that your fella is enjoying himself, and watching my guy 'box with his one-eyed champ is an absolute delight. Your stroking may need some variety. You can work the two fingers together simultaneously or they can work in opposition like a finger walking exercise. Work around the whole area. An effective method is to combine the two previous suggestions followed by sliding your fingers in about an inch, before pulling out and sliding them back in. Start off slowly and build in speed. Don’t go too hard; you are not trying to fist her. Try stimulating her clitoris at the same time; trust me this is not a time for idle hands. Keep measuring her responses. Heavy breathing, deep moaning and contractions around your fingers are a good indication that something is working. When you feel her start to bear down, begin pumping your fingers faster. At some point hopefully your girlfriend will experience a desire to pee. This is what you are both aiming for. If she can bear down and positively encourage this, and your handy-work has been sufficient, things should get very wet. This isn’t necessarily the best position to achieve ejaculation. The inside of a women’s vagina is shaped, sized and angled individually, a bit like the shape of the male member. Penetration from behind may definitely be the key. Do remember however that in this position you need to work palm down. It will be easier for you to work on her G-spot and massage her clit at the same time. Try different variations with hands, tongues and fingers. Remember, if you do become dis-heartened, this time there are prizes for her 'Cumming’ first. If fingers are not working, try using your thumb. Although initially it won’t reach the G-spot, if you stimulate her clitoris it will swell during arousal. Take two fingers and lay them either side of her clitoris, then position your thumb inside her forming a three-fingered claw. This allows for the curve between the forefinger and middle finger to apply pressure and friction to the clit. If you start to move your thumb and fingers in a pumping motion you will massage both clit and G-spot at the same time. When she starts to bear down increase your speed. Over time it is possible to control and even prevent ejaculation whilst still enjoying the orgasm, but that’s just plain criminal! 'Please release me, let me flow’ should be every female’s motto. If your girlfriend does manage to ejaculate it will, rest assured, catch you both by surprise. This is a significant moment for both of you, and if it’s either party’s first time, you will remember that moment of impact forever. The truly amazing bonus that evolution has granted us finally superior to males is that we can do it again and again. Be aware that in the same way we can have multiple orgasms, we can also have multiple ejaculations. Intensity and amount of fluid may vary with each individual orgasm until our supplies are depleted, but the sensations just get better. Being entered from behind whilst 'squirting’ provides the ultimate finishing touch. The smile of the man who is lucky enough to have his balls drenched by his ladies cum is definitely a Kodak moment. Your girlfriend may not ejaculate every time she orgasms, and indeed a case is even documented where a lady approached her gynecologist believing she was ill because it had stopped happening. Pressure on the female to deliver can be intense, and can prevent ejaculation in the same way it happens to men. Relaxation, an open mind and willingness are the three key factors. If these elements all click the final result will most likely be the most pleasurable and intense orgasm she has ever experienced. Now just imagine being the guy able to deliver that! After ejaculating your girlfriend will obviously, and hopefully, be a bit delirious for a few moments. It passes way too quickly so let her enjoy it before commencing with your wicked-way. She probably will want you to continue in a few seconds, or she may wish to have a breather. But I’m sure you will also wish to take a couple of seconds to comprehend the aftermath. As for achieving other ejaculations beyond this point, it’s a bit like riding a bike hopefully without the grazed knees. Once perfected, don’t be surprised when she now starts to hassle you for oral. Yep! Equal rights! Which leads us nicely on to the etiquette of swallowing and taste. Like male ejaculate, the taste of lady-juice can vary from bitter to sweet according to diet, water consumption and a host of other environmental and biological factors. Male porn stars frequently abstain from alcohol or spicy food for a couple of days before a shoot to combat what is known as the 'gag factor’. It’s an assault on the ladies taste buds and will invariably produce a 'Spunk-purging’ reaction. But if you drink a pint of water and avoid spicy food, it’s not quite the delight of Evian, but it’s definitely more palatable. Well the same goes for us girls. On occasion it can taste sweet, on occasion bitter and at certain times of the month metallic…it is generally advised to avoid these times as you could end up earning your 'red wings’. Nuff said! By dirtyjoe69 Here’s More About the female Ejaculation, written to help men understand that she didn’t just pee in bed. In fact, her body and soul just paid you the highest sexual compliment that you can ever get. Perhaps 90% of men will never know the accomplishment of bringing a woman to this high level of sexual ecstasy. Here’s an essay from Roissy. Squirting; She Can Do It! In most stories Its mentioned how the women cum so hard it shoots out of their pussies. Not unlike a guy shooting ropes. It is all in the technique, and you can get there too. Whether you are a man who wants to see his lady just soak the hell out of the sheets or you’re a woman who would like to experience total indescribable bliss. Then you should read on. A long time ago when the wife and I first started dating, almost fourteen years, we were like any other couple just starting a relationship. We would fuck our brains out every chance we got! The kitchen, the bedroom, the living room it didn’t really matter what room or what place, if we got a moment we took it. We thought our sex life was spectacular. Heck one night I remember ejaculating more than seven times. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many she had. We loved it all; oral, different positions, tie up games, fun with food, and even ventured into the swinging scene. We would read erotic novels or go on the computer to Literotica to find hot stories then play out the scenes. We had tried just about anything “normal” (because normal is relative) two people could do with each other. She would give me mind blowing orgasms with her mouth, cunt, and ass. I would eat her pussy till she couldn’t take anymore. Then one day we watched a movie, I can’t really recall what one it was but anyway, in this movie it showed a technique for making the woman cum so hard that her cum would actually squirt right out of her pussy. And let me tell ya, the look on the girl’s face when she was finished cumming was remarkable. It was a look of pure satisfaction. My wife asked me if I thought we should try the procedure and I said absolutely! Now that you know how our sex elevated to frequent squirting, and let me tell you it is still a regular occurrence, let me explain how it is done! A pre-step to take before trying this method. Make sure to take a leak before you start. An emptied bladder is more responsive to sexual stimuli. You’ll understand more as we continue. If you’re a woman who wants a higher degree of arousal and wet, mind-blowing multiple orgasms, let me talk to the man in your sex life. I have some special instructions to share. This kind of arousal needs more than a massive cock to make it happen. Here’s how to get her off over and over, in a wild and wet session. STEP 1: Make sure you’re both comfortable. Maybe a little wine, soft music, or perhaps a good erotic massage, it doesn’t matter, just as long as a woman is completely relaxed. STEP 2: Do whatever it is you usually do to have a nice normal orgasm. If a female orgasm is having problems occurring, just skip right to STEP 4). STEP 3: Make sure she is feeling very comfortable, it is key! STEP 4: Start licking the woman’s clit and slide two fingers deep in her cunt. If your woman has a slightly bigger cunt opening, then increase the number of fingers being used. STEP 5: Turn said fingers so that your palm is up facing you. (If a lady is trying to do this alone, she should have her palm against her pubic bone then bend the wrist so it points away from her body. Almost like are making a scoop.) STEP 6: Push your fingers toward the ceiling. You want to turn your wrist like you are trying to start a motorcycle. STEP 7: Run your fingers along this “wall”, feel for a small rough area. Believe it or not it kind of feels like a walnut. She will know the spot immediately. STEP 8: Keep rubbing, increasing the speed and pressure as you do. Don’t rub too hard or too fast right off the start. Work up to it. STEP 9: This is probably the most important one. When you do see your woman starting to get real excited, they might tell you to stop because they feel like they are about to pee. Remind them they have no pee in their bladder, and tell them to JUST RELAX and let it Go! STEP 10: Take cover because you are about to be showered upon. My wife has squirted over three feet in the air lying on her back!! So there you have it, lovers, ten steps to oblivion. I forgot to mention one thing. TOWELS, TOWELS, TOWELS! Or get a second set of sheets ready. And don’t whine about doing extra laundry, it is totally worth it. I can’t promise this method will work for you but if you want to pursue a mind-blowing ecstasy, and never have before; why not give it a shot. We did, and the shooting hasn’t stopped since. Cheers By Roissy & dirtyjoe69 for Literotica from How-To Sex Podcast

 Recklessness ruptured my plumbing, and permanently curtailed my sex life. By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex. I Fucked up. I am writing this mainly because there is not a lot of information about this particular injury Around October of last year I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I thrust too hard at the wrong angle and tore my Urethra and two blood vessels in my penis. When the injury first occurred I was close to climaxing. Because of this, when the injury happened and the blood vessels and urethra were torn, blood started mixing into my urethra. I was cumming blood I was not in pain but I could feel that my dick was not pointing in the right direction and turned on the lights, blood was everywhere and pouring out of me at an alarming rate (think you’re cumming but it doesn’t stop and its blood) At this point I’m panicking and yell out that I need to go to the hospital immediately. I throw on loose pants without zipping them up, a hoodie, and grab a towel to soak the blood that’s coming out. Then me and my girl go to the hospital. The hospital near me specialized in bodily injury and doesn’t have the type of urologist doctor that I need to see, so I have to drive 30 minutes away to the closest hospital that has a Urology department. Once I get to this secondary hospital, I am immediately taken in and put into a room of my own once they see my dick; and about an hour later I see a Urologist who runs some tests and tells me about the ruptured urethra and blood vessels.  I need surgery. The surgery is a process called “de gloving” where they “de-glove” the skin around your penis, roll it down, and make an incision into the underside of the skin and go in and stitch up the torn vessels and urethra, these are dissolvable stitches and they stay in your penis until they go away on their own. About 8 hours later I actually went into surgery, I don’t remember anything. I was wheeled into the operating room and the anesthesiologist cracked a dumb joke, and then I was out. I woke up with my penis wrapped up in bandages and a catheter in me. If you have never had to use a catheter, count yourself lucky. I was told I needed to keep the catheter in for 10 days. These were the longest 10 days of my life. If you asked me what the pain was on a scale of 1-10, it was 7 with the opioids, and 11 without them. Any little movement with my penis and I got searing pain. Wearing any type of clothes was out because I just could not take it, I was pretty much naked during those ten days. Anytime the catheter twisted? Pain. Anytime I had to roll out of bed to go get something from the fridge? Pain. Worst of all? Erections. As the men reading this will know, erections are not really voluntary, we just get them sometimes. Morning wood is a real thing and its not controllable. Want to know what getting an erection feels like when you have stitches in your dick and a catheter? Worse than words could ever explain.  I woke up screaming three times a night. I would tear something and I could see the stale blood along the catheter as my erections came and went. The blood became crispy, and if I didn’t clean it when it happened, the next erection would be 5 times as painful because it would grow along the stale, sharp leftover blood on the catheter. I quickly learned how to kill erections, but it was still really bad. I’m actually leaving out some details because I’m not fully recovered yet and the phantom pain comes back as I’m trying to recall it. As of today, I have the catheter out and can walk around again, but erections are still painful, I imagine that will go away in the next few weeks. Yes, You Really Can Fracture a Penis shaft — Here's What That Means Proceed with caution if you're squeamish. BY SOPHIE SAINT THOMAS - 2018 There are a lot of sexual myths out there, but doctors confirm that broken penises aren't one of them. Remember when Lexie Grey supposedly broke Mark Sloan's penis back when all our favorite characters on Grey's Anatomy were still alive? Nope, Shonda Rhimes wasn't making that up. While there aren't actually bones in the penis, a penile fracture is a real-life injury. We spoke to several urologists to learn how it happens, what a broken penis looks like, and how to treat one. What exactly is a fractured penis (often known as a "broken dick")? First, a quick refresher on what inside a penis can break in the first place: A penis contains two chambers of tissue called the corpus cavernosum, which fill with blood when the penis becomes erect. Blunt force to an erect penis can tear the sheath surrounding these chambers (and even rupture the erectile tissue inside) so that the blood inside leaks out to other areas of the penis. If you need another visual, Alex Shteynshlyuger, a urologist in New York City, says to think of this covering less like a bone and "more like a sausage casing." (Doctors, however, call the covering of the corpus cavernosum the "tunica albuginea.") How do penile fractures happen? A penis can be broken during vigorous penetrative sex or through masturbation. When this happens during partnered sex involving a penis and vagina, "generally speaking, the penis will come out of the vagina and strike against the pubic bone," says Leslie Deane, an associate professor of urology at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago. While a penis can fracture during sex in any position, research suggests that Female on top, or rear-entry positions such as ‘reverse cowgirl’ or ‘doggy style’ may lead to penile fractures more often than ‘missionary’ or ‘spooning.’ A penis may be more likely to exit a vagina or anus entirely when thrusting from behind and then, instead of reentering, bang against something hard like the perineum. (If you're an anal sex beginner, it's important to take things slow. Deane says penile fractures aren't uncommon, and that he sees several cases a year. He adds that he observes higher rates of the injury around Valentine's Day and that alcohol is sometimes involved. What does a broken dick look like? According to Stacy Loeb, an assistant professor of urology and population health at New York University, a penile fracture may be accompanied by a popping noise, a rapid loss of erection, and acute pain. "The penis may develop swelling and bruising, referred to as an 'eggplant deformity,'" Loeb says. This means that the eggplant emoji isn't totally off-base as a representation of dicks: It just looks like a broken one. Shteynshlyuger adds that some penile fractures lead to bleeding from the tip of the urethra and that patients may notice blood in their urine. If you're having fun with a penis that suddenly "pops," goes soft, and causes its owner immense pain, seek medical attention immediately. You might have a broken dick on your hands. How is a broken penis treated? Still reading? Good, because there's some positive news: If treated, broken dicks stand a great chance of making a full recovery. Unfortunately, Deane says, surgery is required in most cases. While there are less severe penile injuries that can occur during sex, such as a tear of one of the superficial veins, the only way to know for sure what's going on is to head to the emergency room. It's also important to do it fast: "Surgical repair of the tear usually results in good outcomes," Shteynshlyuger emphasizes. However, "If a penile fracture is severe and not treated in a timely manner, it can lead to problems with obtaining or maintaining erections, [or] it may also cause scar formation in the penis and a condition called Peyronie's disease, which causes curvature and deformity of the penis." After surgery to repair the ruptured "sausage casing" inside the penis, the recovering patient should be able to have sex again in about six to eight weeks, although Deane advises going slow at first. This doesn't mean that wild, headboard-rattling sex is off the table after a penile fracture, but it's not a bad idea for patients to ease their way back in. Hard Flaccid Syndrome A rare condition that affects some men, is called Hard Flaccid. They have a stiff, but smaller-than-erect cock. It’s painful, inhibits real erection, prevents ejaculation, and has constant pain which increases during urination. Our best investigations conclude that it comes from a likely combination of muscle injury coupled with an anxiety or stress disorder. Many people manifest stiff muscles under stress. More often it’s neck, back, or chest muscles.  But rarely it’s the pelvic floor muscles which connect the pelvic bone to the tailbone. When women do Kegal exercises for better vagina constriction, they are working those same pelvic floor muscle groups. But when a physical injury leads to muscle spasms, like common back injuries cause, The spasms can lead to a precipitous chain of other ‘self preservation’ conditions. The Hard Flaccid Syndrome is believed to be just such a ‘perfect storm’ chain of events. Let’s hear from a few men who are dealing with this, and what their progress entails. ‘Old Will’ said; “I had Hard-Flaccid for about two years. Low labido, cold penis, glands sometimes had white spots. Then for about 8 months I practiced relaxing, worked on my anxiety and anger issues and it all over time went away. I started off on anxiety meds and that's when I noticed hard-flaccid getting better. Suddenly it hit me that the only thing I hadn't thought of was managing my anxiety. I was on that for about 2 months. Then when I got off the meds it started to get a little worse but I figured, if it was really anxiety that caused it, then I needed to calm down, and stop obsessing over it. I mean, I was absolutely obsessed with curing my hard flaccid. So, I just stopped looking into it. I stopped looking for cures online. I made the decision to just enjoy life for a change, better myself and not think about all this all day. And slowly, it just returned to normal. When I first really started taking my mental health seriously, which was about 8 months ago, and the true beginning of my recovery process I lifted weights about 5 days a week. I wouldn't call myself heavyweight lifter. I did light moderate weight lifting. But I haven't been to the gym since November. I plan on going back. I'm a firm believer of exercise improving body and mind.  I masturbated during my healing process. I do think it would have made things move along a little faster, if I didn't masturbate at all, but I figured it was worse if I stressed over it. So, if I was gonna masturbate, I was going to enjoy it and have no regrets about it.  I know how difficult this is for people so I wanted to share my story and hope it helps many of you.” ‘Whirl Mind’ responded;  “Mine likely developed from a lot of sitting, possibly bad diet for a few days or spicy food that led to minor constipation/difficult bowel movements, and general stress that increased clenching. Who knew I could injury myself by crapping too hard? Not totally sure though and I’m still in a minor flare, softer down there today though. Mine also went away pretty much completely for about 2 weeks recently, without sticking to any routine. I’m noticing some pelvic floor inflammation and extra pain at the base as of a few days ago and the HF has returned but in a more minor way. Hoping I can get over this again and also trying to work on my anxiety. My condition had suddenly turned into the thin & weightless “long flaccid” and it freaked me out at first, but after 5 days or so of that I pretty much just accepted any variance in that as good and got myself into a positive feedback loop. Note that I am an extremely high-strung person and this wasn’t easy but I was so desperate that it was imperative that I just let go. So pushing everything surrounding this shit to the back of my mind but also staying afloat on any positive changes like better hang, better fullness temporarily etc. I think this mental state was and is a huge part of the condition to focus on for most people but also a big reason why it is so fickle. I don’t know if something in particular in terms of lifestyle or diet caused this recent return to HF but I do know that my anxiety surrounding the condition was a little worse for a few days this week. I can clearly feel the issue of dysfunction at the base which seems to stem from my IC and BC muscles, because when the both the Hard-Flaccid and Long-Flaccid states leveled out and I was feeling good and much closer to normal I still dealt with many of the muscular symptoms, or what I’m assuming are muscular. Anxiety can be so hidden in our psyche and I’ve literally watched it, like a switch going on and off, effect at least the peripheral symptoms of this condition. I’ve practiced no-fap, which means abstaining from jerking off; mainly as an experiment but my erection quality is astounding at this point in time. As anxiety is dealt with, libido should increase as well as Erection Quality in the absence of a more severe issue. The uncertainty of this condition is so hard to deal with, and with some firmness & tightness down there, now present again.  I’m seriously trying to get a grip on my anxiety and will probably do some light stretches. For me personally I found that sometimes getting into a routine all to fix HF would make things worse since I was so fixated on it, so if anything I’m trying to find a balance with everything. Keep in mind I never stuck to any routine and was somewhat inconsistent, the change to Long-Flaccid happened so suddenly while I was just trying to sleep, and in pain; and the improvements that followed seemed to only come with time, working on anxiety and trying to live without thinking about this condition.” Gunz GotBunz added his encouragement; “Your symptoms are my symptoms, and I found that after being completely calm, and using the relaxation & mindfulness techniques every day, it was so easy for my wife to stimulate me my penis was so long and hard! I felt the glory of Rome that day! But alas that was but once. Anxiety always takes a toll on the body, and the more I achieve mindfulness the better and bigger my erection gets!” Numb Penis: What’s Going on and How to Fix It! By Dugan You’re watching a hot sex scene, getting it on in your backseat, or you’re taking a little “me time” with your favorite website, and, well, you notice things aren’t happening down there. What’s going on? It could be something called penis numbness. There are quite a few reasons a man can be the bewildered owner of a numb penis. Read on to learn how penis numbness reached you and then how to get him back up and at ’em! 1) Penile Injury – Known also as penile traumas, penis injuries can cause penis numbness . A penile injury damages the blood vessels, which are essential to a healthy penis because they bring the blood that produces an erection. Lots of things can hurt a penis, such as rough sex, too much masturbating, using a too-tight grip for self-pleasure, sexual aids, and group sports. 2) Neuropathy – Neuropathy is when a limb or appendage goes numb. This numb penis is often the effect of an illness or condition but can also be the result of the regular pinching of a nerve (say in the hip area). Neuropathy wears 2 masks. One time it feels like a cold numbness, and the next time it feels like pins-and-needles or lightning shooting through the penis. Medical conditions such as diabetes, obesity, lupus, multiple sclerosis, and some cancers can cause neuropathy. 3) Peyronie’s Disease – Peyronie’s disease is a condition in which the penis has a curve of more than 20 percent. In addition to being a painful disease, Peyronie’s disease has been associated with loss of penile sensation in some men. The scar tissue that causes Peyronie’s can be less sensitive than regular tissue, resulting in loss of genital sensation. 4) Lifestyle – Lifestyle is a big part of health, but it’s often the thing people are most reticent to change. Diet and exercise are significant factors that need to be addressed if there aren’t already healthy behaviors in practice. Stress can also make the problem worse, so be sure to incorporate stress-reduction techniques into each day. Changes in lifestyle have been shown time and time again to yield big results. Penis Power: How to Get It Back! Want a more-sensitive penis? In most cases, a man can regain sensitivity with a little dedication and a little help. Here are a few ways to breathe life back into a man’s boner. Address the root disease if it’s the cause. Work with doctors and therapists to first treat the disease and then treat the symptom, not vice versa. Whole-body health should always be the number one focus. Wear looser pants and underwear to give the big guy some space and not have to spend the day hugging fabric, which desensitizes it. Spend some time each day letting it all hang out in a personal space. A little air also prevents too much contact for the penis. More movement – sitting all day can deaden the nerves in the pelvic basin. Get up every hour or two to give them some freedom. Don’t go too hard, or too often, when sexing it up. For men who cycle, get a padded bicycle seat cover and padded shorts to reduce the hard compression against the nerves for prolonged rides. Proper penis care can also preserve sensation and decrease the chances of penis numbness. Lightly, but thoroughly, wash it with a gentle cleanser and warm water, then rinse and air dry. Use a reliable skin treatment oil, like Shea Butter, Almond oil, or other safe moisturizer. Avoid lotions with harmful ingredients. All of it gets absorbed into your organs, and can be toxic. Sex lubricants that might be fine for a woman’s internal organs, may be terrible for a man’s external organ. Water-based lubes evaporate very quickly, especially with rapid stroking. If your lover is stroking you hard, and the once-viscos lube, is now a tar-like glue, It can not only tear your very thin cock skin, but it can also lead to bursting internal cells inside your shaft or glans. This post is part of the How To Sex podcast. Subscribe in your favorite apps.