A great conversation with Ben Goresky from Evolving Man on why Men might struggle in relationships and what they can do about it.
Affairs aren’t just about sex or betrayal. They’re often unconscious attempts to soothe old wounds left behind by childhood neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or unmet emotional needs. Today, we break down two common patterns of what we call “attachment affairs”: the detacher, who fears losing themselves in connection and seeks control through emotional distance, and the clinger, who anxiously pursues love to avoid the terror of abandonment. Understanding this doesn’t excuse betrayal, but it gives us a more honest and compassionate lens through which to view it. If you’ve ever wondered why people cheat or if you’ve been impacted by infidelity, this episode offers a grounded, eye-opening take.
Relationship Training for Men: Click here for more information.
Download The Connection Compass: my free guide to creating safety & aliveness here.
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This episode is all about aliveness. The energy, spark, and vitality that makes a relationship feel worth being in. We break down the five pillars of aliveness: passion, purpose, presence, playfulness, and positivity. You’ll learn why aliveness fades over time, how to recognize when you’re just going through the motions, and simple but powerful ways to bring life back into your connection. If your relationship feels flat, boring, or disconnected, this episode offers a practical and heartfelt roadmap to help you both feel more alive.
Download The Connection Compass: my free guide to creating safety & aliveness here.
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In this episode, we explore one of the most important (and often overlooked) ingredients in a thriving relationship: safety. Not just physical safety, but emotional safety. The kind that allows both partners to relax, open up, and show up fully. We’ll unpack what emotional safety really means, how to recognize when it’s missing, and why your partner’s sense of safety affects you, even if you don’t realize it. If you’ve ever felt stuck in defensiveness, conflict, or emotional shutdown, this episode will help you understand the deeper mechanics at play and how to rebuild trust from the inside out.
Download The Connection Compass: my free guide to creating relationship safety here.
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What if your struggles in the bedroom aren’t about low libido or incompatibility, but about the cultural scripts you’ve absorbed your entire life? In this episode, Nick breaks down how hip-hop has shaped the way we think sex should look and feel. From performance pressure to emotional disconnection, we explore why so many people say “yes” when they mean “maybe,” why real desire takes time, and how long-term couples can find their way back to true connection. This is a deep, honest conversation about unlearning the fantasy and coming home to your body.
Download my free guide to creating relationship safety here.
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We all talk about red flags, but do we really understand what they mean? In this episode, Nick breaks down the real story behind red flags in dating and long-term relationships. You’ll learn where the term actually comes from, why our brains are wired to scan for danger in love, and how to tell the difference between something worth walking away from… and something worth leaning into.
Nick explores how “red flag culture” can sometimes be a clever disguise for emotional avoidance and why being too quick to judge or too slow to speak up can sabotage connection. He also introduces a powerful framework for sorting concerns into yellow, red, and black flags, and offers practical advice for how to talk about your worries without blowing up your relationship.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Am I being too picky—or not picky enough?” then this episode is for you.
Download my free guide to creating relationship safety here.
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Are you resisting change in your relationship because you fear losing yourself? In this episode, I unpack the difference between self-abandonment and relational growth, and why the right kind of change doesn’t make you less of who you are, but can actually help you become more of who you are. We’ll talk about why change feels threatening, how to spot the difference between growth and conformity, and what real evolution in a healthy partnership looks like. If you've ever said, “I shouldn’t have to change for someone,” this one’s for you.
Download my free guide to creating relationship safety here.
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If every attempt to talk turns into blame, shutdown, or conflict, you’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Defensiveness is more than just a bad habit; it’s a protective strategy rooted in deeper emotional wounds. We explore how this dynamic impacts connection, where it comes from, and most importantly, what you can do about it. You’ll learn how to communicate without triggering shame, reclaim your own power, and begin shifting the dynamic (even if your partner isn’t fully on board yet).
Stop exiting and start healing. In this episode, we explore the idea of “relationship exits”, the subtle and not-so-subtle ways we pull away from connection when things get hard. Whether it’s scrolling your phone, working late, or turning to someone else for comfort, these exits are often unconscious attempts to protect ourselves from pain. But they also drain energy from the relationship. I’ll walk you through why we exit, the different types of exits, and how closing them can begin a powerful process of healing and deepening commitment. This is about reclaiming the energy you’ve been spending elsewhere and choosing to turn back toward each other.
In this episode, Nick revisits the foundational phases of a relationship, from the honeymoon stage to the power struggle, through emotional coping, and into the possibility of conscious partnership. He explores why so many couples get stuck in survival mode, the hidden childhood patterns that shape our love lives, and what it really means to “play to win” in your relationship. If you're ready to stop settling for “just getting by” and start creating something meaningful, this one’s for you.
In this episode, we explore some of the most common illusions people carry into romantic relationships and the subtle beliefs that quietly create resentment, disconnection, and confusion. From the fantasy of perfect compatibility to the myth of effortless love, we unpack the ways our expectations shape our experience of intimacy. If you’ve ever felt stuck between what you hoped love would be and what it actually is, this conversation will help you see things more clearly.
In this episode of Highly Successful Couples, Nick breaks down what it really means to be in a conscious relationship—and why most couples never get there. We explore the difference between autopilot and intentional love, how childhood patterns shape adult conflict, and why real growth requires truth, responsibility, and respect for differences. If you’ve ever felt stuck in repetitive arguments or longed for deeper connection, this episode will give you a powerful new lens—and some practical insights—to shift your relationship toward healing and growth.
All of my links are here.
In this episode, Nick explores the quiet power of small daily disciplines and how they shape the trajectory of our lives and relationships. Inspired by the teachings of Jim Rohn, he unpacks why the simple things we often ignore—like expressing appreciation, taking responsibility, or showing up consistently—matter more than we think. You’ll hear why relationships rarely break down in a single moment, and why “death by a thousand cuts” is a pattern we can interrupt. If you’re feeling stuck or disconnected, this episode will remind you that change doesn’t start with big dramatic gestures—it starts with what you do today.
In this episode, Nick explores the unavoidable truth that both life and relationships come with suffering—and how that suffering can actually be a doorway to growth. He breaks down common emotional patterns couples fall into, and why we’re often drawn to partners whose wounds challenge our own. Instead of seeing conflict as a sign something’s wrong, Nick invites us to view it as a path to deeper connection, healing, and transformation.
Unpacking lessons from 10 years of marriage. After a reddit users post when completely viral, we dive into their writing and identify key insights that can help anyone who is interested in a successful long term relationship.
Today, we journey into the vital but often overlooked landscape of somatic sexology and its transformative impact on long-term relationships. In this episode, we sit down with Deej Juventin, co-director of the Institute of Somatic Sexology in Australia, who brings over two decades of expertise to help us unravel the mysteries of desire, pleasure, and authentic sexual connection.
Deej sheds light on the profound differences between what we think and what we actually feel—and how bridging this gap can radically shift our relationships. We'll break down how fast-paced lives and digital culture shape our sexual experiences, why the “magic” fades in long-term relationships, and what practical steps couples can take to reignite intimacy and deepen connection.
Join us as we explore real strategies for becoming more present, embodied, and curious—whether you're feeling stuck in sexual ruts or simply want to add more vitality to your partnership. This conversation is for anyone who wants to embrace their full aliveness, connect more deeply with themselves and their partner, and tap into the untapped potential of pleasure.
Key Topics Discussed:
- The meaning of “somatic” and why embodied awareness is the missing piece in sexual and relational fulfillment.
- How cultural myths and modern media—especially pornography—shape (and often limit) our understanding of sex and pleasure.
- Practical approaches for couples to create intentional “practice spaces” for exploring eroticism, communication, and intimacy.
- The lifelong, ever-evolving journey of discovering your unique desires, erotic blueprint, and the importance of self-responsibility in cultivating pleasure.
Website for Institute of Somatic Sexology
YouTube for Institute of Somatic Sexology
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In this episode, we explore the profound insights of Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix, trailblazers in relationship transformation and the minds behind the IMAGO theory.
Join us as we delve into their lifelong mission of spreading dialogue that transforms not just relationships, but the world. We'll uncover their journey, from nearly divorcing to a heartfelt recommitment that underscores the power of authentic communication and positivity within couples. Together, we'll unpack strategies to turn differences into opportunities for growth and harmony, aiming for a truly connected partnership.
Key Themes Discussed:
- The pivotal role of dialogue in fostering healthy, transparent relationships
- Understanding and embracing differences as opportunities for mutual growth
- Techniques to transition from reactive feelings to proactive, compassionate communication
- The transformative power of positive affirmations and creating new, positive memories
Timestamps:
01:30 The driving force behind Harville and Helen's ongoing mission
10:01 Embracing and understanding difference in relationships
28:20 The power of positive language and memories in nurturing a relationship
40:21 Moving from reactive to creative brain through dialogue training
Want to transform your relationship and take it to the next level?
Join my online course here.
Harville and Helen on Instagram
Harville and Helen's Website
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In this episode, we're joined by applied sexologists Martin Beaudoin and Ashley Rose to explore the intersection of intimacy, healing, and growth within relationships. Discover how their innovative approach to integrating psychotherapy, somatic practices, and touch can transform both individual and relational dynamics. We'll delve into the healing power of pleasure, dismantle societal myths about sexuality and discuss ways to nurture desire in long-term relationships. Whether you're dealing with intimacy challenges or aiming to deepen your connection, this episode is filled with valuable insights for thriving in complex partnerships.
Key Topics Discussed:
- Holistic approaches to sexual healing and the role of an applied sexologist
- Debunking societal perceptions and myths around sexuality and pleasure
- Enhancing intimacy through self-awareness, differentiation, and somatic practices
- Addressing common relationship challenges and cultivating desire in long-term partnerships
Timestamps:
04:31 Common Challenges in Sexual Health and Relationships
28:28 Cultivating Desire and Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships
57:41 Navigating Neurodiversity and Communication in Partnerships
Martin on Instagram
Martin's Website
Ashley's Website
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Nick Solaczek on Instagram
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Nick and Alissa pull back the curtain on their own relationship, sharing the bumps, bruises, and beautiful moments they've experienced along the way. They delve into their rapid journey from moving in together to facing and overcoming personal and shared traumas, and how they navigate the often rocky road of partnership with grace and determination.
They cover important lessons about the power of personal growth, the art of effective communication, and the value of maintaining a shared vision in a relationship. From dealing with past traumas, managing conflict, to the importance of play and joy, this episode offers honest insights and practical advice for couples everywhere.
Key Themes Discussed:
- Strategies for managing and overcoming past traumas in relationships
- The significance of maintaining a shared vision and purpose
- Practical techniques for effective communication and resolving conflicts
- The importance of integrating play and joy into your relationship
Timestamps:
04:22 Discussing Relationship Challenges
19:21 Alissa Shares Her Growth Through Somatic Therapy
40:31 The Importance of Relationship Vision and How It Guides Couples
55:40 Balancing Work in Relationship with Play and Fun
Want to transform your relationship and take it to the next level?
Join my online course here.
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Nick Solaczek on Instagram
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On today's episode, Melina McConnell sheds light on why having a shared vision goes beyond just love and how it can help partners understand and work with each other better. We discuss practical strategies for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Together, we explore the idea of creating an "operator's manual" to understand each other's triggers, protecting the couple's connection from external distractions, and the role of self-awareness in conflict resolution. Whether you're navigating relationship challenges or looking to deepen your partnership, this episode is packed with insights to help you thrive.
Join us as we explore how to strengthen the bond between you and your partner by understanding each other's needs, fostering open communication, and addressing unresolved issues. We'll dive into techniques for managing conflicts, strategies for staying connected amid life's demands, and the power of self-energy in maintaining a grounded relationship. So if you're ready to take your relationship to the next level, join us for this amazing conversations.
Key Themes Discussed:
- Somatic Therapy & The Nervous System
- The importance of a shared vision for relationship success
- Understanding and managing personal and partner triggers
- Techniques to protect the couple's connection from external distractions
- The concept of self-energy and its role in maintaining a grounded relationship
Timestamps:
05:30 Infant-Caretaker Dynamics
23:30 The importance of checking in with our self
37:30 The difficult of being attuned when we are triggered
47:30 Creating an "operator's manual" for your partner
Want to transform your relationship and take it to the next level?
Join my online course here.
My Socials:
Nick Solaczek on Instagram
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