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Healing Myself
Scott and Shaté Hayes
84 episodes
4 days ago
We're Scott and Shaté Hayes, and we're on a mission to help our community find freedom from the inside out. So we host conversations about God, therapy, and all the lessons we’ve learned about how to love, trust, forgive, and affirm ourselves first. We used to talk about the hard parts of life. Now, we talk about the healed parts because that’s where true freedom resides. Join us, and you’ll see that when you save yourself first, you transform your life, and you lead the way for those around you to save themselves, too. Get healing tips, tools, and more: ⁠https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
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Self-Improvement
Education
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All content for Healing Myself is the property of Scott and Shaté Hayes and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
We're Scott and Shaté Hayes, and we're on a mission to help our community find freedom from the inside out. So we host conversations about God, therapy, and all the lessons we’ve learned about how to love, trust, forgive, and affirm ourselves first. We used to talk about the hard parts of life. Now, we talk about the healed parts because that’s where true freedom resides. Join us, and you’ll see that when you save yourself first, you transform your life, and you lead the way for those around you to save themselves, too. Get healing tips, tools, and more: ⁠https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword
Show more...
Self-Improvement
Education
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Ep. 77: Change your default setting.
Healing Myself
44 minutes 50 seconds
1 year ago
Ep. 77: Change your default setting.

We’ve been thinking a lot about chaos vs peace. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking the idea of changing our default setting, specifically when that default is chaos.

We invite you to reflect on your default setting and consider the possibility of embracing peace amidst life's chaos. Remember, healing is a journey, and every step towards self-discovery is a victory worth celebrating. 


WHAT TO LISTEN FOR:

Default setting of chaos and destabilization [1:43]

  • The constant cycle of being displeased with yourself 

  • A pattern of self-doubt and dissatisfaction 

  • The struggle to let go of the idea that you should keep moving to the next level 

  • How boredom triggers you to find chaos 

  • Our constant desire to find chaos is rooted from the feeling of not enoughness 

  • Unhealthy comparison (i.e. your life vs. others’ lives as seen on social media) can contribute to the feeling of not enoughness 

  • The belief that too much happiness is a prelude to something awful

NOT choosing chaos over peace [12:03] 

  • How Shaté, who’s always chosen peace, chose chaos in her finances 

  • Learning to be grateful for what you have and acknowledging answered prayers 

  • How not to have a regret-filled life 

  • Finding joy and gratitude in where you are now instead of continuing to search for it 

Let’s talk about healing—changing/reprogramming your default settings [19:51] 

  • Changing the narrative that you're telling yourself

  • Changing the way you talk to yourself—language matters! 

  • Remembering that wherever you are in life: 

    • There are so many things to be grateful for 

    • You worked hard for it and you deserve credit 

Actionable steps to reprogram your default settings [27:24] 

  • Evaluating why you need help 

  • Determining the change you want to see 

  • Developing a treatment plan 

  • Shaté encourages seeking help from a therapist/accountability buddy or any type of mentor who could keep you in check 

  • Not being to hard on yourself and remembering that healing is NOT linear 

Biggest lessons around choosing peace [34:27] 

  • Always factor in peace when making decisions—you won’t ever go wrong

  • Never allow people step over the boundaries you’ve set for yourself 

Friends, we’re very happy to announce our first live podcast event in the Atlanta area, and it’s happening in March.

A portion of all of our proceeds are going towards subsidizing or covering the cost of therapy for black adults. More details soon, hope to see you there!  

RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:

  • The Big Leap, book by Gay Hendricks
  • Listen to Ep. 48: Mental health matters with Stephanie Westbrook
  • Listen to Ep. 45: Healing our relationship with money w/Ranauldo & Liz Wright
  • Listen to Hello, song by Aqyila
  • Listen to Reset III, song by Isaac Carree

CHECK IN WITH SCOTT AND SHATÉ: 

  • Subscribe to our Weekly Word. We’ll send you healing insights from our recent convos, book recommendations, resources, and more to help you heal yourself first: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify Playlist⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Music for this moment.

  • Follow Us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Follow @iamshate on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠; Follow @scotthayes_lcsw on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you or someone you know could find value in the Healing Myself community, please feel free to reach out! You can leave a comment or send us an email at ⁠⁠connect@healingmyself.co

Healing Myself
We're Scott and Shaté Hayes, and we're on a mission to help our community find freedom from the inside out. So we host conversations about God, therapy, and all the lessons we’ve learned about how to love, trust, forgive, and affirm ourselves first. We used to talk about the hard parts of life. Now, we talk about the healed parts because that’s where true freedom resides. Join us, and you’ll see that when you save yourself first, you transform your life, and you lead the way for those around you to save themselves, too. Get healing tips, tools, and more: ⁠https://healingmyself.co/weeklyword