Were we lied to about hell?
This week, I am joined by Brian Recker, a pastor's kid, former minister, and author of Hell Bent. Brian asked the question most of us were taught to fear: Is the hell we grew up with actually biblical?
Brian shares how studying Scripture and church history unraveled fear-based theology and led him into a deeper and more loving experience of God. We talk about the harm of "turn or burn" messaging, what Jesus really taught, and how letting go of hell did not destroy Brian's faith, it healed it.
If you grew up terrified of eternal punishment, this conversation offers clarity, freedom, and hope.
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Brian Recker’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/berecker/
Brian Recker’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brianrecker5
Hell Bent: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771172/hell-bent-by-brian-recker/
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Maddie Zahm grew up in a Christian home where she took her purity seriously and poured her heart into worship leading. Years later, after auditioning for American Idol, she began writing the kind of songs that reach straight into the stories of those deconstructing their faith and identity.
Her song “You Might Not Like Her” became an anthem for anyone learning to love themselves after leaving shame based systems (including me). In this conversation, Maddie opens up about coming out to her family, finding her community, and the beautiful, messy process of discovering who you truly are.
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Maddie Zahm’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/maddiezahm/
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Monte was raised in rural Wyoming to believe she might have to die for her faith.
Growing up under alt-right Christian nationalism, her family prepared for war, built a bunker, and warned her that Democrats would come to kill them. She was taught to shoot at a young age and to see obedience as holiness.
Seen as her father’s “chosen one,” she was encouraged to get an education so she could “change the world for God.” She signed a purity contract and learned that her worth was tied to submission and control. Years later, after escaping the abuse and fear that defined her childhood, Monte began rebuilding her life, teaching others what the Bible actually says, and using her voice to fight Christian nationalism.
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Monte’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/montemader/
Monte’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@montemader
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Part 2 of 2
Victoria joined Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry at a pivotal time in her life, hoping to grow in her faith and purpose. During her time there, she began an internship with Nick and Jess, a couple who led a group of students through life coaching and emotional healing practices. What started as mentorship quickly shifted into something harmful, as Victoria found herself leading unlicensed “therapy” sessions, participating in anxiety inducing trust exercises, and watching leaders blur the lines between spiritual growth and manipulation.
In this episode, Victoria opens up about how a program built on transformation and vulnerability became a system of control. She shares how the pressure to perform, obey, and protect her leaders led to emotional and spiritual harm, and what it took to reclaim her voice after being coached into silence.
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Victoria’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/victoriagreerhathaway/
Victoria’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriagreerhathaway
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Part 1 of 2
Victoria joined Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry at a pivotal time in her life, hoping to grow in her faith and purpose. During her time there, she began an internship with Nick and Jess, a couple who led a group of students through life coaching and emotional healing practices. What started as mentorship quickly shifted into something harmful, as Victoria found herself leading unlicensed “therapy” sessions, participating in anxiety inducing trust exercises, and watching leaders blur the lines between spiritual growth and manipulation.
In this episode, Victoria opens up about how a program built on transformation and vulnerability became a system of control. She shares how the pressure to perform, obey, and protect her leaders led to emotional and spiritual harm, and what it took to reclaim her voice after being coached into silence.
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Victoria’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/victoriagreerhathaway/
Victoria’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriagreerhathaway
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Azriél Crews, actor, writer, and daughter of Terry Crews, grew up in front of the cameras on her family’s reality show The Family Crews. As a teenager, she signed a purity pledge on national TV, turning her private coming-of-age into a public spectacle.
In this episode, Azriél opens up about navigating faith, fame, and identity in the spotlight. She shares how college gave her the space to embrace who she truly is, her journey of deconstruction, and how she now uses humor (and a touch of “nepo baby” honesty) to tell stories about healing, queerness, and self-acceptance.
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Azriel’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/azrielpatricia/
Azriel’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@azrielpatricia
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I’ve known Jade since middle school, and I’ve watched her story unfold over the years. After college, she married her wife in what seemed like a dream come true. They even won a free elopement in a contest, creating memories that felt magical in so many ways.
But after seven years together, everything unraveled in a matter of days. A series of accusations and bizarre circumstances ended the marriage suddenly, and the two never spoke again. Jade first shared pieces of her story on TikTok, where her series caught attention, and now she is here to share the full journey.
From fairytale beginnings to an abrupt and painful ending, Jade opens up about how she picked up the pieces, rebuilt her life, and is now chasing her passions with resilience and strength.
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Jade’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jade.nyasia/
Jade’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jade.nyasia
Sixth Seat: https://www.instagram.com/sixth.seat/
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Part 1 of 1
Colten grew up in the Holiness movement, a Pentecostal tradition with even stricter rules than most. In his church, women were not allowed to cut their hair, wear jewelry, or even wear pants. Baptism had to be done in a very specific way, or else your eternity was on the line. His dad was the pastor, and Colten took those rules to heart, believing his salvation depended on them.
In this episode, Colten shares vivid memories of his upbringing, including the moment he broke down sobbing after seeing his mom wear pants for the first time because he believed she was going to hell. He talks about what it was like to go to seminary, to begin evaluating what he had been taught, and how he has turned those experiences into knowledge he now shares with thousands of people on TikTok.
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Colten’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/coltenbarnaby/
Colten’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coltenbarnaby
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Part 1 of 1
CW: mentions of suicide
You may know Gabrielle Stone as the bestselling author of Eat, Pray, #FML, where she chronicles the wildest year of her life: discovering her husband’s affair with a 19-year-old, falling into a whirlwind romance, and then getting dumped just before a month-long trip to Europe. But her story doesn’t begin or end there.
In this conversation, Gabrielle opens up about the layers of loss and heartbreak that shaped her. She shares about losing her father at a young age, grieving the death of a boyfriend, and living with the belief that everyone she loved would eventually die. We talk about the pain that inspired her to write, the healing she’s done since, and the vibrant life and community she has built today.
This episode is about love, grief, resilience, and rewriting your story even when the plot twists are unthinkable.
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Gabrielle’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/gabriellestone/
Gabrielle’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gabrielle_stone
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Part 2 or 2
Corey’s story pulls back the curtain on what it was really like inside Teen Mania’s Honor Academy, the infamous discipleship program featured in Amazon’s Shiny Happy People. From grueling workouts to “Unreached People Group Week,” where students were forced to cosplay as missionaries, Corey was subjected to bizarre exercises in control and spiritual manipulation. During his time with Teen Mania, he toured with Acquire the Fire, lived on just $5 a day, telemarketed for Jesus, and was pushed into purity culture teachings that took years to unpack.
In this episode, Corey shares what it meant to grow up in a world of extreme legalism disguised as discipleship, as well as how he is finding freedom and healing after leaving.
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Corey’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/coreylwright/
Corey’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coreylwright
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Part 1 of 2
Corey’s story pulls back the curtain on what it was really like inside Teen Mania’s Honor Academy, the infamous discipleship program featured in Amazon’s Shiny Happy People. From grueling workouts to “Unreached People Group Week,” where students were forced to cosplay as missionaries, Corey was subjected to bizarre exercises in control and spiritual manipulation. During his time with Teen Mania, he toured with Acquire the Fire, lived on just $5 a day, telemarketed for Jesus, and was pushed into purity culture teachings that took years to unpack.
In this episode, Corey shares what it meant to grow up in a world of extreme legalism disguised as discipleship, as well as how he is finding freedom and healing after leaving.
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Corey’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/coreylwright/
Corey’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@coreylwright
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Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish
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This is a special crossover episode with my other podcast, The Overshare Hour, where we read listener submissions and respond in advice-column style. We’re diving into a topic close to both of our hearts: religious trauma and the journey of deconstruction. From purity culture and church guilt to untangling fear and finding freedom, we share our experiences and open up space for healing conversations.
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The Overshare Hour Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4rhjrn5AYvOKJnN0gIeSLm?si=djs7yJarRSW56PO2jP9gTQ
The Overshare Hour IG: https://www.instagram.com/oversharehour/
Kenzie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/itsmakenziejene/
Kenzie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmakenziejene
Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns
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Part 2 of 2
We’re bringing it close to home this week with someone you’ve heard me mention before — my ex–sister-in-law, Kenzie. We first met as teenagers in youth group, navigating the pressures of purity pledges, religious guilt, and the rollercoaster of charismatic Christianity. While we shared plenty of fun moments during those years, we were also shaped by environments that demanded conformity and obedience.
Kenzie went on to join the International House of Prayer (IHOP), a high-control religious group where the spiritual abuse ran deep. While newly pregnant, she was forced to stay awake in prayer through the night, and when she expressed doubts, men laid hands on her belly and prayed her child would become a martyr. That moment marked one of many in which her humanity and dignity were disregarded in the name of faith.
Her story didn’t end there. Kenzie eventually left IHOP, got divorced, and began the long process of deconstruction. Today, she identifies as queer, continues to navigate hard conversations with friends and family, and is writing a new chapter in her healing journey. She and I now co-host The Overshare Hour, where our shared history adds both depth and laughter to every conversation. This episode explores purity culture, spiritual abuse, queerness, and what it means to reclaim joy and belonging after religious disillusionment.
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Kenzie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/itsmakenziejene/
Kenzie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmakenziejene
Patreon:
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Part 1 of 2
We’re bringing it close to home this week with someone you’ve heard me mention before — my ex–sister-in-law, Kenzie. We first met as teenagers in youth group, navigating the pressures of purity pledges, religious guilt, and the rollercoaster of charismatic Christianity. While we shared plenty of fun moments during those years, we were also shaped by environments that demanded conformity and obedience.
Kenzie went on to join the International House of Prayer (IHOP), a high-control religious group where the spiritual abuse ran deep. While newly pregnant, she was forced to stay awake in prayer through the night, and when she expressed doubts, men laid hands on her belly and prayed her child would become a martyr. That moment marked one of many in which her humanity and dignity were disregarded in the name of faith.
Her story didn’t end there. Kenzie eventually left IHOP, got divorced, and began the long process of deconstruction. Today, she identifies as queer, continues to navigate hard conversations with friends and family, and is writing a new chapter in her healing journey. She and I now co-host The Overshare Hour, where our shared history adds both depth and laughter to every conversation. This episode explores purity culture, spiritual abuse, queerness, and what it means to reclaim joy and belonging after religious disillusionment.
—
Kenzie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/itsmakenziejene/
Kenzie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmakenziejene
Patreon:
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Kelli grew up deeply rooted in Mormonism, where rules and worthiness shaped her entire identity. She and her husband walked through deconstruction side by side. They traded their garments for coffee runs, tried things once considered off-limits, and together learned what freedom outside the church could look like.
Their journey led to them ending their marriage on their anniversary. But instead of bitterness, it opened space for new forms of connection. Kelli even helped introduce her ex-husband to a close friend, and today the three of them remain good friends. They’ve been able to support each other through deconstruction and beyond.
In this episode, Kelli shares what it means to dismantle old beliefs, navigate divorce, and find healing in unexpected places.
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Kelli’s IG: https://www.tiktok.com/@kellichristinecase
Kelli’s Tiktok: https://www.instagram.com/kellichristinecase/
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Part 2 of 2
Trigger warning: Domestic Violence, Pregnancy Loss
Alissa Gray’s story is one of survival against overwhelming odds. What began as a relationship full of promise quickly spiraled into years of physical and verbal abuse. After enduring countless assaults and a terrifying police escape with her children, Alissa managed to break free - but her journey through domestic violence did not end there. She entered another relationship marked by abuse whenever alcohol was involved, even marrying her second abuser at Disney World while hiding bruises on her arms.Through therapy and intentional healing, Alissa has reclaimed her voice. Today she bravely shares her story to raise awareness, shed light on the hidden realities of domestic violence, and encourage others who feel trapped to know they are not alone. Her resilience is a reminder that healing is possible, even after unthinkable trauma.-If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out for help:
National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or rainn.org
International resources: Find hotlines worldwide at hotlineproject.org
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Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/Healedish
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Alissa’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/absolute_gray_media/
Alissa’s Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/show/171GL1rfMCB9QdeWn4W1Sa
Alissa’s Website: https://www.makeituncomfortable.com/
Alissa’s Ebook: https://stan.store/absolute_gray_media
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Part 1 of 2
Trigger warning: Domestic Violence, Pregnancy Loss
Alissa Gray’s story is one of survival against overwhelming odds. What began as a relationship full of promise quickly spiraled into years of physical and verbal abuse. After enduring countless assaults and a terrifying police escape with her children, Alissa managed to break free - but her journey through domestic violence did not end there. She entered another relationship marked by abuse whenever alcohol was involved, even marrying her second abuser at Disney World while hiding bruises on her arms.
Through therapy and intentional healing, Alissa has reclaimed her voice. Today she bravely shares her story to raise awareness, shed light on the hidden realities of domestic violence, and encourage others who feel trapped to know they are not alone. Her resilience is a reminder that healing is possible, even after unthinkable trauma.
-
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please reach out for help:
National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or rainn.org
International resources: Find hotlines worldwide at hotlineproject.org
-
Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/Healedish
-
Alissa’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/absolute_gray_media/
Alissa’s Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/show/171GL1rfMCB9QdeWn4W1Sa
Alissa’s Website: https://www.makeituncomfortable.com/
Alissa’s Ebook: https://stan.store/absolute_gray_media
Follow for more:
Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns
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Part 1 of 1
You might know Jake Deyton from TikTok, where he shares Taylor Swift chart updates and debunks excessive Easter eggs. But behind the music commentary is a powerful story of survival, deconstruction, and acceptance.
Jake grew up in a rural Appalachian town in North Carolina, where church attendance was essential if you wanted friends or acceptance. At just three years old, he was told he needed to repent or burn in hell forever. When he learned what being gay meant, his immediate thought was “uh oh,” because he knew deep down that was him. Fearing rejection from the church and his community, he buried that truth for years and even promised himself he would never come out.
Today, Jake is married to his husband, raising two children, and living free from the beliefs that once held him captive. In this conversation, he shares how he went from hiding in fear to becoming exactly who he was taught to fear.
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Jake’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jakedeyton1
The Lost Lore Podcast: https://linktr.ee/thelostlorepod
The Lost Lore Podcast Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelostlorepod
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Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish
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Part 1 of 1
You might recognize Samantha as a licensed therapist who now helps others heal from the very belief systems that once shaped her. But before she began that work, Sam and I actually sat in the same small group at Bethel.
In this episode, Sam shares her story of being introduced to JH Ranch at just 14 years old. She attended a father-daughter retreat where she was asked to sign a contract pledging to remain pure until marriage. That contract became a cornerstone of her identity, and she returned to JH Ranch as a volunteer for many summers.
Her journey eventually led her to the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, where she attended all three years. During her third year, she began to question the teachings and became increasingly disillusioned with the environment. That season marked the beginning of a deeper unraveling and healing process.
Today, Sam is a somatic therapist who specializes in working with individuals recovering from religious trauma. She shares how she reconnected with her body, learned to trust herself again, and how she now helps others do the same.
This conversation touches on identity, purity culture, embodiment, and what it means to reclaim your story after spiritual disillusionment.
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Samantha’s website:
https://www.samantharedondotherapy.com/
Spiritual Harm Process Group:
Info: https://www.samantharedondotherapy.com/offerings
Sign up: https://forms.gle/qKznXsRGtiVft27R7
Samantha’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/wild.reciprocity
Samantha’s Substack: wildreciprocity.substack.com
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Part 1 of 1
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You might recognize Lyssa from her viral letter board post on TikTok that said: “My separation is 11 weeks along - and it's the size of the hole in our bathroom door from his temper tantrum”
In this episode, Lyssa (@lyssagetsherlifeback) shares the story that started her series. Raised in extreme purity culture and once dreaming of becoming a missionary, Lyssa found herself in the middle of an identity crisis after leaving ministry and struggling with her mental health. It was in that vulnerable season that she met her abuser.
Because of state laws, Lyssa was forced to remain separated for an entire year before she could even file for divorce. She walks us through that agonizing waiting period, the trauma of marriage counseling with your abuser, and what it was like to process it all while the internet watched in real-time.
Today, Lyssa is remarried, thriving, and helping others find hope after heartbreak. This is her story.
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Please note: This episode includes mentions of domestic violence, religious trauma, and sexual abuse. Take care as you listen.
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Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/c/Healedish
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Lyssa’s IG: https://www.tiktok.com/@lyssagetsherlifeback
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