Each week Giles Coren finds himself with no idea what to write about in his weekly column. Having read all the papers and found nothing of interest whatsoever, he takes a break and does the school run. That’s where his wife and fellow journalist Esther Walker comes in. Upon his return, Esther has half a dozen ideas she’s spotted ready to knock around with him over the kitchen table and a much needed pot of coffee.
You can read Giles in The Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/profile/giles-coren
And subscribe to The Times and Sunday Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/subscribe
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Each week Giles Coren finds himself with no idea what to write about in his weekly column. Having read all the papers and found nothing of interest whatsoever, he takes a break and does the school run. That’s where his wife and fellow journalist Esther Walker comes in. Upon his return, Esther has half a dozen ideas she’s spotted ready to knock around with him over the kitchen table and a much needed pot of coffee.
You can read Giles in The Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/profile/giles-coren
And subscribe to The Times and Sunday Times here; https://www.thetimes.co.uk/subscribe
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sixteen percent of UK couples sleep in separate bedrooms. (Giles knows because he asked Grok.)
Esther and Giles have now joined that group as Giles’ snoring has finally got too much for Esther. Is this a problem that listeners are familiar with…are their other causes for sleeping separately besides snoring?
Government ministers have announced they will investigate the brightness of modern car headlights, about time to seems to be the response. But can these ministers be relied upon to do such research, given they don’t appear capable of much else?
A quick question – is it fair to dress dogs up on Halloween? And lastly, having used Grok Giles wonders what a Grok rival to Wikipedia might look and sound like.
And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com
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This week Giles and Esther record the pod in front of a live audience at the Cheltenham Literary festival.
Giles regales the crowd with tales of his prostate cancer diagnosis, taps up an off-duty doctor for some opinions and wonders what would get Jane Austin cancelled.
Esther demonstrates her grasps of veganism, her unwillingness to read out loud and knows what would get her cancelled.
Special thanks to ‘The Nook on Five’ for hosting us.
And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com
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In a listeners special Esther is delighted to have not read the papers as her and Giles dip into the post bag. They get some book recommendations, test opinion on central heating and to reply to some marvellous listeners.
In amongst all that if you’ve ever wondered how many people it takes to publish a book and what do they all do Esther can fill you in.
And as always please do get in touch: noidea@thetimes.com
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Giles and Esther had a lovely night out at the theatre, but they’re suffering for it now.
As the hang overs clear and King Charles requests Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson not to take part in Royal Christmas engagements they wonder which of your relatives would you like to disinvite to Christmas lunch?
Perhaps the King should utter “Riddikulus!” a spell cast in Harry Potter when faced with a lurking pest. JK Rowling may be doing likewise as her public spat with Emma Watson has resurfaced. Do either deserve our sympathy?
Stop the press! The British Museum is hosting its own version of The Met Ball…sort of. But who on earth would want to be first name on the guest list? And last but by no means least Esther tests Giles’ fitness…but while he has a hangover.
And as always please do get in touch especially if you wish to divulge which of your relatives, you’d like to not attend Christmas: noidea@thetimes.com
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With more people employed in the parking industry then as full time soldiers are they up to the job of giving Putin a ticket? Giles turns to some great war films for inspiration:
“Did you issue the parking ticket!?”
“Goddam right I did!”
The Booker Prize announced its short list this week, with one notable omission and one baffling inclusion – Giles is not happy.
After the break is it too early in the year to put on the central heating – over to you dear listener. Recent research suggests that bravery is a more attractive trait than brawn. But what if your date is a psychopath who just likes starting fights...?
Lastly, yet another use for Bamboo.
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President Donald Trump has been honoured with a second state visit to the UK. He had a stay at Windsor castle, met Esther’s sister and took a trip to Chequers. But what would have given him a more realistic reflection of Great Britain? Join a queue, attend A&E, get stuck in a traffic jam…?
In his column last week, Giles incurred the wrath of Times readers…again. He wrote about the inflated guesstimates of the numbers attending the Tommy Robinson march. Confused as to why readers are so annoyed, he wonders if he is still in tune with the average reader?
After the break, a tribute to Hollywood great Robert Redford and who will win this year’s booker prize?
Please send your book recommendations or favourite Robert Redford films to: noidea@thetimes.com
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Swings and roundabouts as Giles and Esther return from their summer break. Giles has had an awkward week, but Esther is ready for the release of her debut novel.
In the news; why are Beyonce and Jay-Z moving to the Cotswolds, do they want to go shooting and pay ten pounds for a sausage roll? Sticking with Z, Gen Z are embracing the crowded tea rooms of the National Trust with membership for the 18-25’s on the rise. What could possibly be the reason for the increase?
After the break Giles enlists the help of AI and Greg Wallace to interview Esther about her new book – “Well, This Is Awkward”.
And as always please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
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It’s the last episode before a summer break. Giles and Esther open the post bag to answer some of your questions. There are love stories, restaurant reviews, far flung listeners, potters, dating advice, film recommendations and more.
As always please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
Have a lovely summer – see you in September
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England’s female football team – the Lionesses - have reached the final of Euro 2025. Giles is intrigued to know who is following their progress.
A government initiative to limit public services to UK billionaires prompts an idea…what other mundane day to day activities should billionaires be prohibited from doing? Riding the top deck of a bus? If there is an art to holiday packing, Esther has mastered it – one pillow, one can of WD40 and a knife. Job done! What would a resourceful Girl Guide do with such a collection of items…fashion a 'think positive' badge perhaps?
Lastly, dear old King Charles has launched a range beard grooming products. No comedy in that…none whatsoever. Anyone for a jar of royal goolie washer?
Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
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Giles has been triggered. The BBC/Banijay investigation into allegations surrounding former Master Chef presenter Greg Wallace has published its findings. The results are enough to sack not only Greg Wallace, but also former co-host John Torode. Rather than sack Mr Torode perhaps the BBC could kindly draft a resignation statement for him, sighting the stress of recent events and challenges to his mental health…not so fast! Giles is furious about the whole matter.
The BBC isn’t all bad, this week President Trump gave an interview to their reporter Gary O'Donoghue. In the interview President Trump revealed that he doesn’t really trust anyone. Which poses the question, how important is trust?
This week we were given the first glimpse of the actor who will play Harry Potter in the new HBO series. Have they sprung a surprise?
Lastly, as a new iteration of Barbie is unveiled - diabetic Barbie, what others could there be...?
Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
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The Salt Path is a worldwide, multimillion bestselling novel which was later turned into a Hollywood film. It was based on a true story…or so everyone thought. Revelations this week cast considerable doubt on the veracity of the first-person tale. Does it change how Esther and Giles feel about the book?
Greg Wallace has finally been fired by the BBC but the question is did he take a leaf out of the Giles Coren school of defence in his parting statement? Esther has another question too, has Giles ever had the slightest inclination to show his peculiars in the office?
After more listeners emails some tips to get young people ready for the workplace:
Step one - cast aside all self-respect.
Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
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Giles wants to recount his plumbing woes…the Smurfs give him a helping hand to hurry things along.
After sifting through the first weeks post from the new podcast email address Giles and Esther assess a very difficult week for Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer.
A week since rap duo 'Bob Vylan' hit the headlines at Glastonbury Giles shares some of the responses to his notebook piece on the subject, not all are positive.
Then a whistle stop tour of faces on bank notes, the cool club and Eau De Politician.
Please do get in touch with any comments or questions: noidea@thetimes.com
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Esther and Giles have some exciting news which they share at the start of the episode…
On with the pod:
Do couples have a better chance of staying together if their political views are aligned?
Luckily for Esther and Giles they never discuss politics, they’re far more concerned with being mean and what they’re drinking in the evening. Just as well as Esther keeps her voting habits a closely guarded secret. But why do some couples get sucked into political debate?
If talking politics doesn’t make you sleepy, have you tried being bound, gagged and cuddling up to some terrapins? If you’re not convinced, don’t worry there are lots of other sleep tips - most of which are genuine.
Lastly, it’s bye-bye to the cookbook…about time too.
And that address: noidea@thetimes.com
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**Please hold. Giles and Esther will be with you shortly….[muzak]…Press 1 for the podcast. Press 2 for immediate death or press 3 to speak to a bot who will return you to the main menu…**
If there really is no sound more joyful than that of children playing, no wonder the world is so miserable. It is a sound in short supply as children have retreated from playing outdoors to stay indoors on their tech. Former children’s commissioner Baroness Anne Longfield has called for ‘no ball games’ signs to be removed to get children playing outside again. The trouble is, if they go outside who is there to play with apart from a load of killer dogs and some bloodthirsty gangs?
If kids can’t play outside, can you take them to work? Well, best to check first in case you’re turned away at the door as one lady was with her nine-month-old. Should she have been allowed in, or are some places just not meant to be child friendly?
**A new apple app promises to deal with hold music for its users, but Esther doesn’t want it.
Finally, can you schedule your friends? Lily Allen 40, may do this (or she may just have a good sense of humour.) Either way she has given Giles an idea…
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The airline industry has big plans to improve life for economy passengers. But Giles and Esther have a better solution, just fly business class. And while they’re at it, ditch Gucci shops, treble the size of Pret and provide free bags to those at the back.
Last year Giles' bid to join the The Garrick Club was declined so, as ITV news presenter Julie Etchingham withdraws her candidacy to join surely, he is on her side? Well it depends, was she tortured at school and how much can she drink?
Finally, what toll do the small microstresses of life take on us? If only there was a handy survey offering more information and on which a newspaper could loosely hang an article? Oh wait… cue a list of pet hates, and a detour into surveys in general and food surveys in particular.
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It’s a busy day in the Coren house as they prepare to welcome sister podcast ‘Wine Times’ for lunch…and wine. But before that the small matter of Gary Lineker leaving the BBC under a cloud of antisemitism. How does Giles feel about his friend’s departure and recent tweets?
From one complicated subject to another, what is a semicolon and how should one use it? Two published authors might have a chance of figuring it out, a dyslexic producer almost certainly won’t.
Whilst working from home Giles reflects on research which suggests as many as half of workers would look for another job if asked to return to the office full time. How much would Esther have to be paid to get her back into the office?
Finally, will a McDonalds apple pie cure Giles’s cancer…?
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Do the collection of new weight loss drugs offer more than just weight loss? With claims suggesting that they can help lower risks of cancer and improve mood, Giles feels like he is missing out. Is it time for him to tuck in to Mounjaro? Esther is not convinced and if Giles and his peers live to be one hundred and forty, where are all the Gen Z’s going to live?
If you’re lucky enough to come by a luxury copy of Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’ you may find a handy readers guide; “this novel may not be easy or enjoyable.” What else needs a handy guide – GCSE geography, home cooking, sex?
After an oxbow lake via some noises that annoy a quick theatre recommendation for a farce of a play about spies… Readers guide: May contain innuendo and slapstick.
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Recent research suggests that most men don't understand what the menopause is. But Giles is not most men, he has a thorough grasp of the topic...or so he thinks until Esther sets him straight. What is it, how will it affect Esther, and can he do anything to help? All good questions, but sadly lost as he is distracted by an image of a very specific type of queue outside the GP’s surgery.
Giles and Esther have received lots of kind advice and tips on finding their missing neckless, for which they are very grateful. Is there an update, has it been found?
As the menopause approaches so too does the day the children leave home. Is the best way to prepare to abandon ambition, give up on sex and don’t travel.
Finally, Is there anything better than apple pie and pudding sauce?
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It has been a pretty bad week for Giles. His article on Zionism generated a mixed reaction, gaining support from some but rebuke from others. Does hearing Esther’s take on the matter cause him to rethink?
A more domestic problem is Esther’s birthday, or rather her present. For once Giles was well prepared, he’d chosen the perfect gift well ahead of time. He knows where he left it, where it should be, but where is it now?
In the news a men only publishing house has opened, is it needed and if so, why? It prompts Esther to reveal some big news. Finally, Giles is considering taking up DIO… ‘do it oneself.’
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In a recent interview George Clooney said he and his wife Amal never argue. The Clooneys may not, but the Corens most certainly do! And, as if my magic they demonstrate how to have a good argument…three times…in half an hour!
Everything is going well until Giles attempts some in pod production, then there is an unexpected phone call, followed by more production disagreements. It all proves too much and whilst discussing arguments they manage to have a “sh*t stinker” of one. So, this week for illustrative purposes, it stays in the podcast. Thankfully there is a happy ending…
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