What if being "too nice" is actually a form of self-abandonment? This question stopped me cold as I caught myself saying "yes" to yet another request while my body screamed "I can't take one more thing."
Sound familiar? Between construction chaos at home, my husband's health issues, challenging client calls, and a friend needing support, I found myself pouring from an empty vessel once again. It's that moment when we smile and agree while everything inside us protests - and I realized this pattern runs deeper than just being helpful.
Self-abandonment happens when we dismiss our own needs, emotions, or truth to avoid discomfort - ours or someone else's. We become emotional caretakers of others at the cost of ourselves, and that's not kindness - it's depletion.
"Boundaries aren't about keeping people out. They're about keeping yourself in your own integrity."
Through stories of clients like Beth and Linda, I explore how childhood programming creates these patterns. We learn that love is earned through being agreeable, that "good girls don't say no," and that boundaries somehow equal meanness. But here's what changed everything for my clients: "Love that demands emotional neglect isn't love. It's obligation."
In this episode, I share practical boundary scripts, five steps to reclaim your voice, and why real kindness must include you. As I tell my clients: "Real kindness includes you. If it excludes your needs, it's not being nice and it's not kindness. It's performance."
Remember, when you stop betraying yourself to make others comfortable, you begin a powerful journey of self-loyalty and sovereignty. And that, my friend, feels liberating.
Resources:
Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/
Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60
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