"I'm smart, I can figure it out at work, but not at home. I know better - why do I keep choosing the wrong people?" If this sounds familiar, you're not alone, and this episode is exactly what you need to hear.
Trauma bonds are like emotional glue that keeps you connected to someone who's not good for you through cycles of hurt, apology, and reconciliation. They feel like love, but they're actually your body responding to something familiar - even when it's not safe or healthy.
The truth is, being smart or strong doesn't make you immune. In fact, the traits that make you successful can make you more vulnerable. You're a problem solver who sees emotional distance as a challenge to overcome. You've normalized emotional labor and giving the benefit of the doubt. Most damaging of all, the pattern feels familiar because if love was inconsistent growing up, your nervous system learned that connection comes with uncertainty.
I share my own experience from my third marriage - my "awakener" relationship where I was caught in cycles of warm attention followed by complete shutdown. When he pulled away, I felt anxious and had to fix it. When he came back, it felt like relief, like the sun coming out. I told myself we were "passionate," but really, my nervous system was hooked on those highs and lows.
This episode includes five signs you might be in a trauma bond and five concrete steps to break free, including the science behind why these patterns are so addictive and healing.
Resources:
Your FREE Forgive Yourself resources: https://brendareisscoaching.com/podcast-resource-optin/
Are you struggling with a situation or a person in your life? Wondering if you are ready to work on forgiving yourself? Take our quiz to find out your emotional IQ and how this impacts your ability to forgive: https://archetype.brendareisscoaching.com/sf/357cdc60
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