The 1993 movie Love Bites is a comedy-horror film starring 1980s pop star Adam Ant as a vampire named Zachary Simms.
🧛 Plot Summary
Zachary Simms is a 350-year-old vampire who wakes up in his coffin after having overslept for 100 years.
He finds his crypt is now under the house of a modern career woman named Kendall Gordon (Kimberly Foster).
Zachary and Kendall fall in love, leading the vampire to try and "re-humanize" himself to be with her—by doing things like eating human food.
His attempts are complicated by his jealous vampire creator and former lover, Nerissa (Michelle Forbes), who demands his return, and Kendall's jealous ex-boyfriend, Dwight (Roger Rose).
The humor comes from Zachary's comical collision with the modern world as he tries to adapt to the 1990s.
🎭 Box Office Performance
Information regarding the theatrical box office performance of Love Bites is not widely available in easily searchable public records. This is often the case for smaller, independent, or straight-to-video releases from that era.
The film was released in 1993, but it does not appear on typical lists of top-grossing films for that year, suggesting it had a limited theatrical release or was quickly moved to the home video market (VHS/rental), which was common for genre films and lower-budget comedies at the time.
The film is sometimes listed with the alternate title Love Bites: The Reluctant Vampire.
Would you like to know more about the cast, or perhaps other vampire-themed comedies from the 1990s?
Mike, Ivy, Adam, and Vic watch The Panda Plan starring Jackie Chan.
The film The Panda Plan (also known as Xiong mao ji hua) is an action-comedy starring Jackie Chan.
Here is a description of the movie and its reported box office performance:
Description of the Movie
Plot: The film stars Jackie Chan as a version of himself—an aging, legendary international action star. He is invited to adopt a rare baby panda named Hu Hu, distinguished by having a dark circle around only one eye.
The plot thickens when a notorious international crime syndicate sets its sights on Hu Hu, offering a massive bounty for the panda's capture.
Chan teams up with his agent and the panda's dedicated caretaker to launch a "rescHu" mission, using his signature blend of comedic martial arts and stunts to outwit and outfight the mercenaries at a wildlife zoo.
The movie is reported to return to Chan's classic kung fu comedy roots, featuring nostalgic stunts and action, though critics have suggested the humor and action fall short of his prime-era work. The baby panda is created using CGI.
Box Office Performance
Budget: The reported production budget for The Panda Plan was ¥180 million (approximately US$25 million).
Box Office: The reported worldwide box office gross is US$42.2 million.
The movie's box office performance was substantial enough to cover its production budget and make a profit, with the producers reportedly viewing the movie as the start of a "Panda Plan" series aimed at promoting Chinese culture and conservation.
Is this the worst movie we've ever reviewed? Mike, Ivy, Adam, and Vin weigh in on a horror movie adapted from the 1993 game, Alone in the Dark. Starring Christian Slater, Tara Reid, and Stephen Orndorff. Directed by the infamous Uwe Boll.
Edward Carnby discovers ancient artifacts that he must keep from an evil professor who seeks to open the door between light and darkness.
Jack De Sana, Kelly Marie Tran, and Chris W. Smith have some relationship woes to work out in Me, Myself and the Void.
Jack, a struggling comedian, wakes up in a semi-conscious world only to find his body lying on the bathroom floor. He needs to recount the past to figure out what happened. That means revisiting his relationship problems with Mia and Chris.
Join Vince, Mike, Adam, and Ivy as we try to form an opinion in this arthouse indie movie. A good chunk of Star Wars references!
This movie is bonkers. Feng Tian, a 70-year-old Chinese woman, directed a film about a girl falling in love with a cursed dog. This movie features no music, breakneck editing, acting that's dialed to 11, and a romantic relationship with a singing dog.
Is it a cry for help, a tribute to the color green, or a rom-com owned by a cult? Mike, Ivy, Adam, Vince and Alvin Flang work together to solve this bizarre movie.
Love on a Leash
Check out the interview with Alvin Flang: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPNY1D3YJxc
War of the Worlds (2025) is so bonkers we had to leave Tubi to see it. How did this get greenlit? Why is Amazon using this to flex their brand? Who thought Ice Cube right clicking pictures was a good idea? We answer these questions and more. War of the Worlds (2025).
Time After Time (1979)
Starring Malcom McDowell and Mary Steenburgen
Plot: HG Wells travels to 1979 to capture Jack the Ripper.
It's a love story like Kate and Leopold and it's a dark murder story like From Hell.
When HP Lovecraft's space rock hits the Gardener's farm, things start to make the family go insane. Nicholas Cage plays a loving father who eventually goes full Cage. Color out of Space came out in 2019 and was written by Richard Stanley.
Tom Hanks and a bunch of other actors that don't deserve the same spotlight as him team up to play Mazes and Monsters. But trouble abounds when players start to get depressed and delusional. This movie is a PSA against enjoying fantasy, ripping off Lord of the Rings, RPGs, and visiting the Twin Towers.
Mazes and Monsters:
Starring: Tom Hanks and others
Date: December, 1982
On Tubi.TV
IMDB: 4.6
Premise: Tom Hanks has a psychotic break during a LARP and starts taking the game too seriously. Not unlike Settlers of Catan fans.
Also: The director has a psychotic break and forgets who the star of the movie is.
Jeremy Irons, Thora Birch, and Marlon Wayans roll for charisma in this early D&D hack and cast movie. We review Dungeons and Dragons 2001 on TubiDecided.
The 2000 film adaptation of Dungeons & Dragons was generally panned by critics and audiences alike.
Here's a breakdown of the common points of criticism:
Poor Special Effects and Visuals: Many reviewers felt the special effects and CGI, particularly the dragons, looked cheap and outdated, even for the time. The film's overall look was described as basic and lacking in the immersive qualities expected of a fantasy film.
Bad Acting and Character Portrayals: Critics often cited the performances as a major weakness, with some describing them as either bad or overly exaggerated. Specific examples include Jeremy Irons' "overwrought" and "hilariously terrible" portrayal of the villain Profion and Marlon Wayans' performance as "Snails," which was deemed offensive and a racist throwback to stereotypes. Thora Birch's performance was also criticized for being "lifeless".
Weak and Inconsistent Story: The plot was often described as convoluted, generic, and lacking a clear direction. Some critics felt the film failed to balance the specific lore of Dungeons & Dragons with a story accessible to a wider audience, leading to a jumbled and confusing narrative.
Inexperienced Direction: Director Courtney Solomon, while enthusiastic about the project, was criticized for his inexperience and the final script being a patchwork of multiple drafts. Solomon himself later stated he was forced into directing by investors despite only intending to produce, and was made to use an older script.
Lack of Connection to the Game: Many D&D fans felt the movie failed to capture the spirit and essence of the tabletop game, delivering a generic fantasy adventure instead of an authentic adaptation.
In summary, the 2000 Dungeons & Dragons movie is largely considered a critical and commercial failure, remembered more for its flaws than its strengths.
What happens when you try to emulate PS3 graphics in a 2014 animated film? Spoiler: It doesn't age very well.
Heavenly Sword is reviewed.
Robert Johnston wrote a mysterious blues song in the 1920s, and Ralph Machio wants to learn it. Can he get Joe Seneca to reveal the secret song on their journey, or will the devil take Joe's soul?
We saw Crossroads (1986)
American Gothic is a 1988 horror film where a bunch of young adults learn that lonely cabins on deserted islands don’t have safe families.
In water, no one can hear you implode. Leviathan is Aliens, The Thing, and Pumpkinhead mixed into one big love letter. The writers, FX artists, and actors are highly prized, yet this movie did poorly. We find out why?
Holy Smokes. We found a gem at the used DVD store. Reich Under Fire was funded by Steven Spielberg and directed by Barry Williams (Brady Bunch's Greg). It is one of the most ambitious WWII Action- Thrillers (think Die Hard).
We got the chance to review it.
Note: This episode came out on April Fools’ Day, 2025.
Asylum Films with another parody of a spin-off of a satire. Join Snow, Sleepy, Red Riding Hood, and Prince Charming as they work with Alice and Mad Hatter to avenge things. The king of trickery, Rumpelstiltskin and Magda, the Queen of Atlantis want to force Prince Charming into marriage because of...reasons. Somewhere there is a time and a war.
Join Mike, Adam, Ivy, and Vincent as we analyze our worst rated movie on IMDB
Vincent, Ivy, and Adam face-off to see who is the master of movie trivia.
Plus: We talk about Mickey 19, Black Bag, Woman of the Hour, Rocky, and Solo Leveling
You look a little low. How about a Lou Diamond Fill Up? We watched Route 666, the perfect sci-fi fodder for 2001. Watch in horror as a Federal Marshall and his doey-eyed crush (Lori Petty) have to bring back an informant named Rabbit (who never shuts up when the camera is on him). What awaits our heroes on Route 666? Spoiler: A ghost steam roller and jackhammer.
Join us on Discord to find our next Tubi gem: https://discord.gg/JKfg2YAV
Mike, Adam, and Vincent examine what movies were not nominated or chosen for the Oscar.
Includes:
The Wild Robot
Fall Guy
Monkey Man
Deadpool and Wolverine
and so much more
Meet Warren. He is afraid of monsters, murderers, snakes, girls, relationships, eye contact, fire exits, the sky. He thinks a murderer is in the local haunted house (which has a 16 hour waiting line…for reasons). What happens when Warren goes into the haunted house? Spoiler: he fails a lot.
Song provided: Rise Above by Scott Buckley | www.scottbuckley.com.au
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