Falling Into Soul is a podcast for people going through the deeper, more confusing processes of inner healing and soul awakening. In her signature no bullsh*t, yet caring way, McCall Erickson explores unpopular spiritual truths and the finer nuances of soul processes through the lens of alchemy as she shares her lived experiences and intimate songs she has written along the way.
Falling Into Soul is a podcast for people going through the deeper, more confusing processes of inner healing and soul awakening. In her signature no bullsh*t, yet caring way, McCall Erickson explores unpopular spiritual truths and the finer nuances of soul processes through the lens of alchemy as she shares her lived experiences and intimate songs she has written along the way.
This is not the episode I thought I would make. This is the episode it was time to make. And so goes the soul. Tracking where it leads is an ongoing commitment. But I know of no better way to keep the magic alive.
In this episode
How to stay connected
Thank you so much for being in this space with me. All of these episodes will remain posted. Feel free to revisit and listen any time.
In soul,
McCall
Western culture is rich in ways to keep us chasing the outer dream and pitiful in ways to facilitate the actualization of an inner soul vision. Our ability to dream with soul and bring forth what lies deep within us has been hijacked by the cultural delusion that tells us we can have whatever we want, when we want it, how we want it--an affront to nature.
How to create, heal, and live with soul in a culture that's done its best to cut soul out of the picture is the work and obsession of my life.
In this episode I share what I've learned over the past 15 years from my own Falling Into Soul journey:
With love,
McCall
Related episode: How To Recognize the Will of the Soul
What happens to the ego through the processes of alchemy?
In this episode let's explore:
With love,
M
‣ get the "disappointing and lovely" sticker
Alchemy is a terrible but brilliant series of processes that burn, drown, rot pressurize, and distill every extraneous thing out of the way so you can see what is there. What the fire leaves behind is who you really are. What the fire leaves behind is all the things about you that cannot be left behind. What remains when all else fades is how we know what's ours to live in a new way.
In this episode:
With love,
M
See photos of The Octopus Tree
Announcing my new book Down from the Mountain: On Being Human after Spiritual and Alchemical Initiation now available for preorder.
In this episode, I go over the table of contents for the new book so you can get a feel for what it's all about.
Whether you’ve read The Second Half of the Mountain and are ready for more or you’re just stumbling upon me now, Down from the Mountain holds its own as a book exploring the delicate coming-back-to-life work many of us face after undergoing the alchemical initiation required to uncover, align with, and live from the core self.
Thrilled to be back in this space with you!
McCall
What we think we want and what we say we want might not be the same as what the soul wants. The will of the soul is not always immediately known. It's the unconscious continually made conscious through astute listening to body aches, dreams and synchronicities, strange intuitive pulls, deep watery feelings, and life itself. We live in so much mystery, so much magic, so much unknown.
In this episode we explore ways the unconscious (will of the soul) attempts to make itself conscious in our lives:
And the big question: What's the difference between following the pull of the soul and self-sabotage? Because yeah, they can look a lot alike sometimes.
With love for the the soul that is such a brilliant and gorgeous interrupter of plans,
McCall
In this episode, Michael DeMaria and I explore the rich, complex, and paradoxical themes of burnout and renewal central to our lives as empaths, recovering codependents (over givers) and creative types.
Speaking from our personal experiences with burnout and how-not-to-burn-out, Michael and I explore:
I also share the story of how I burned out nine years ago on fulfilling my soul purpose, what I did to recover, and how I engage with purpose differently now.
With love,
McCall
Michael's Website
Click here to watch the video version of this podcast
No amount of alchemical death and rebirth cycles can change who you are. It can only reveal it. And then the task becomes to live it, to anchor the unchangeable essence of Who You Are into your ever-changing human existence. Wildness and form. Dancing.
So far in this podcast, I’ve talked a lot about what I call the Second Half of the Mountain Journey–the dark nights of the soul, dark nights of the spirit, and distillation. These alchemical processes are necessary to carry us from initial awakening to permanent alignment with the core self.
But what happens when we reach the summit? What are the next alchemical phases and processes we go through once we have an abiding alignment with the unbreakable core within? What is life like then? What’s the reward for completing all seven stages of alchemy?
Exploring in this episode:
With love,
McCall
Related episodes:
Living From the Unbreakable Core That Is Uniquely Yours
Born From Nothing--Magical Will
The alchemy of inner transformation is not a self-improvement project. It’s a participation in the soul’s evolution. It may not improve your life at all at first. It’s a rather destructive process–dismantling your beliefs, identities, small hopes and dreams, tearing your life at each carefully stitched seam to reveal what’s unbreakable underneath. It gets worse before it gets worse sometimes, so faithless and consuming, leaving you hanging by nothing but a single thread–your own breath tethering you to life in a place it feels like you never intended to be. And at some point, you realize this is it…there’s nowhere else to go, nowhere to hide, nothing to save you from having to live what’s right here now. So you breathe the breath that is yours to breathe. You take the thread that is yours to weave, and without pretense, fanfare, or promise of any particular outcome you live the impossible–the dream that won’t stop dreaming, the breath that won’t stop breathing, the thread that won’t stop weaving you.
In this episode, we explore:
Reading of my piece "The Great White Nothing" put to music at 18:45
With love for and from the Nothingness,
McCall
"One of the hallmarks of maturity is to let some of what seemed like your best hopes go, especially if the tide of life is actually taking them from you and turning your face in another direction." -David Whyte, What to Remember When Waking, The Disciplines of Everyday Life
In this episode, I explore:
With love and gratitude for listening,
McCall
LINKS:
--> David Whyte's What to Remember When Waking
-->Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
-->Click here for 20% off audiobook
-->Click here for episode transcripts
EPISODE QUOTES:
If you can withstand the disappointment of your ego, you can live the wild dream of your soul.
"Are you really going with the flow or are you pretending like you're going with the flow and secretly paddling underneath?" -my dear friend and Anam Cara
Why is it sooo hard to connect with the worth that is inherent in our existence? Why isn't awakening to our true nature, to our spiritual and creative gifts enough to heal this wound and actualize our inherent worth?
And why do I have such issues with how we use the words "deserve" and "worthy" in the trendy spiritual lexicon?
Let's explore.
In this episode:
With love for the outliers,
McCall
LINKS:
Healing the Core Wound of Unworthiness by Adyashanti
-->Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
-->Click here for 20% off audiobook
-->Click here for episode transcripts
QUOTES:
"your work, your life, your relationships, will feel so much more fulfilling when your worth isn’t always on the line” Thais Sky
“I’d been afraid that I’d somehow been given a life I hadn’t deserved, but that’s ridiculous. We don’t deserve anything–not the suffering and not the golden light. It just comes.” Ann Patchett, These Precious Days
Did I just make a trailer for this podcast after two years of doing this podcast? Yeah, I guess that checks out. It usually takes me awhile of doing something important before I understand it enough to say what it is.
Such is the way of soul. You don't have to understand the magic for it to be happening. And I'm getting so much better and letting it happen and seeing what happens.
With love and deep thanks for being here,
McCall
--Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
--Click here for 20% off audiobook
--Click here for episode transcripts
To be a mystic means to want One Thing more than any other of the things. Mystics have an intense and unyielding desire to know and unite with the divine, god, love, beauty, soul, truth, the core of all cores in this life, not in any other life or time. And so, they willingly burn through the fire of any moment to find it.
This is why I say mystics are so fucked and so blessed. The mystic heart can't settle for anything less than what it knows it's here to be and do--what can't be said in words or seen in ways the world immediately understands. And it won't stop until you've given your whole life to find it.
Let's explore the three desires of the mystic that eclipse all other desires:
These desires are actualized through the thread of longing that pulls our lives inside out. Sometimes disruptively. Sometimes quietly.
"Longing is the golden thread that takes us home." -Llewelyn Vaughn Lee
But what is "home" to a mystic and how does the Great Work of alchemy intersect with the mystic's journey home?
With all the love in my mystic human heart,
McCall
--Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
--Click here for 20% off audiobook
--Click here for episode transcripts
Why do we have to fall into soul? Why can’t we fly or rise into soul? Why is the way of soul paved by disappointment and disillusionment? Isn’t there a way to skip all that? Surely we can outsmart the fall, if we could just tap into our highest and best selves and only act from there, we’d be okay, right? Rise above. Choose love over fear. Light over dark. Afterall, you are only one choice away from a whole different and better life, right? All you have to do is make that choice. What are you waiting for?
Wow, do we love these kinds of messages in our frantic and disconnected world hyped up on conquering anything that threatens us. And while there is some truth to these motivational sayings, the fuller truth is more complex and most of us have to fall from the heights of spiritual awakening in order to connect with and live from the depths of soul.
But why? Why is the soul down low? And what about the spirit that just wants to fly free? Doesn’t it also matter?
In this episode, let's explore:
There's some meaty alchemy in this one. Belly up and dig in. If you feel pulled.
With love,
McCall
--Click here for my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
--Click here for 20% off audiobook
--Click here for episode transcripts
--Related Episode: The Difference Between Soul and Spirit and Why It Matters
When the maps you’ve been given don’t match the territory you find yourself having to navigate, you trust the terrain itself and your direct, unique experience with it. This is how to honor and live the soul in a world that gives you a million ways not to.
What does it mean to “trust yourself” or “trust your intuition” or “trust the process.” We hear these cliches about trust so often in the spiritual growth and development lanes. But what does it mean to trust? Join me as I unravel these cliches and lay a more realistic groundwork for what it means to trust when you're navigating terrain that is always shifting.
In this episode:
With love + thank you for listening,
McCall
LINKS:
-->Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening
-->Click here for 20% off audiobook
-->Click here for Transcripts
"There is a secret medicine reserved for those who hurt so hard they can't hope. The hopers would feel slighted if they knew." -The Essential Rumi, Coleman Barks
In this episode I explore the dreadful stage of alchemical distillation--the final and brutiful cleansing before the formation of the Philosopher's Stone within.
Signs of Alchemical Distillation
Outcomes of Alchemical Distillation
Distillation is utter disillusionment that leads to utter freedom. This episode is for you if it's for you. If you know, you know.
With love,
McCall
Is it okay to take a break from alchemy and the inner healing work? It's so exhausting and there's always something more to transmute and heal. Does it ever end?
Let's explore causes for and ways to mitigate unnecessary exhaustion.
I also explore what it means to rest, not only as a way to recover the physical body and energy but as a way to access soul energy and creativity.
And finally, what to do when you CAN'T take a break, when the alchemy and life keeps hitting hard and you can't escape having to do things you don't really want to do.
With love,
McCall
Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here
Quotes from the show:
LINKS:
Click here to go to the show Transcripts
Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here
Related Episode: Ep. 4 Inevitability, Pull of the Soul, and Living the Life That Wants You (Song: Fall From the Lie)
When we face and transmute fear, we gain confidence. Confidence that doesn’t depend on things happening in a way we are sure they must happen, but confidence that comes from being insecure, facing the unknown and allowing support and grace to find us in unimagined ways, letting go of certain hopes and trusting that what we can’t yet see or know is there to hold us if we take the frightening steps far enough into the dark for it to find us.
In this episode:
With love,
McCall
Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here
Quotes from the show:
--Alchemy doesn’t save us from shit. Alchemy holds us to facing the shit, facing our deepest fears. The whole point of alchemy is to transmute the shit, transmute the fears, to face the things we feel we cannot face and realize the depths in us that are equipped to face them.
--Trusting things to work out in a certain way is not really trusting in life. Life is a manifestation of the mystery. Trusting in it means trusting things to work out in ways you can’t foresee or know. The willingness to move forward even though things aren’t going as planned allows us to be surprised by unknown helpers and graces along the way.
--This is the terror, but also the delight and the magic of the unknown: when we face the things we fear we cannot face, we come in touch with the deeper, wilder parts of us that are actually equipped to face them.
--“We can find what supports us when nothing supports us. By bearing the unbearable, we go through the desert to arrive at a nurturing oasis we did not know was there”. -James Hollis
--"We don't need to learn to let go. We just need to recognize what is already gone." -Zen master Suzuki Roshi
Download The Second Half of the Mountain audiobook here
An alchemist is one who takes everything as it comes, transforming the harmful into helpful, the ordinary into extraordinary, and the painful into beautiful. Not by way of bypass, but by way of engaging in deep and, at times, disruptive processes. Alchemists turn their back on nothing, knowing that every life circumstance, desired or not, is the critical base matter needed for making gold.
Alchemy can be an overwhelming esoteric topic with weird words, cryptic symbols and images, and various interpretations. But you don't have to be a scholar of any of that to transmute and transform your life situations.
In this episode, I pare alchemy down to three keys to remember if you want to work magic in your life.
With love,
McCall
Quick quotes from the show:
A magical life is no the absence of pain, disappointment, darkness, and heartache. It's living all of that so fully it becomes your beauty.
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” -Rilke
"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” -James Baldwin
“What we cannot hold we cannot process and what we cannot process we cannot transform. And what we cannot transform haunts us.” -Zen Proverb
Allow, allow, allow. Everything, every being, every process has its own wisdom and magic. I am learning to not interfere, to let it be, let it work its magic. I honestly think this is love: space to be. Love is when you let it be. Let it be, allow, receive.
I built this episode around a song I wrote when I left my music career in 2010--specifically the line "I just need some space to be who I am."
I call this The Song That Started It All because it set me on the final and brutal climb of my second half of the mountain journey where I had to go through the dark nights of the spirit and distillation to come to the gates of surrender and walk through.
Exploring the BEING space:
With love for those in the far reaches,
McCall
www.McCallErickson.com
Click here to read or listen to my book The Second Half of the Mountain: A Guide to Personal Alchemy After Awakening