Elis made a bad decision the other day. And if you had a million guesses as to what that decision was then you won’t even get close, even when given the clue "Welsh culture". He's insistent it isn’t the outcome he wanted but John and Dave aren’t sure they believe him.

Quite frankly it’s one of the most baffling conversations ever had on this show.

Aside from regrettable choices there’s a potassium-rich Mad Dad that breaks new money making ground, Scatman John gets an unexpected amount of airtime, and Elis does a surprisingly good impression of a history teacher.

Remember to seek out some bonus content in the form of Saturday’s Bureau de Change of the Mind. That’s only available on your friend and mine BBC Sounds.

And if you want to get in contact with thoughts on anything other than the first ten minutes of this episode then it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

Memory lane is today's destination of choice, as John dons his rose-tinted glasses to reminisce about the time 'an arrangement was made' for him to return to his secondary school to assist in its production of Guys and Dolls. Was he officially invited back? Did John simply turn up because he had nothing else on? We're still not entirely sure, but this proud Assistant Director is giving back in a cool way, and that's all that matters.

Elsewhere, Elis channels his inner McIntyre with a surprising side offering of Trump, Producer Dave is now worried sick that his house is about to fall down due to an influx of rodent faeces, and 'Don't Hate the Player or the Game - Hate the Governing Body' is the unexpected soundbite of the summer.

Dying to share a Made Up Game? Itching to dispel some long-lingering Shame? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the places to go.

There’s huge news in the rural Bucks area as the Trifecta of Value begins to take shape - pending planning application rulings. It’s one of many wins for John, but the spectre of the biggest loss in many a year hangs over him. But he is unwilling to reveal it in his losses column. Someone should have cottoned on to this sly behaviour by now.

Away from the Ls and the Ws we go all Gallic in chatting to the wonderful Celya AB, and John introduces her by making it self-aggrandising. Exactly what Norton and Parkinson would do. Plus Elis gets rinsed by a listener yet again and we dig into the various chain restaurants of Woking.

Have you got opinions on Surrey’s fast-casual outlets? Well elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp are the places to send them.

John’s been chained to a typewriter diarising his life experiences, and he's so confident about his memoir that he’s written “this is a good book” in Bic on its cover. Something all the great authors do, and he clearly has confidence in his witty emotionally hefty prose.

But anyway, in this chapter of the Elis James and John Robins show we’re whisked to the sunny shores of the Iberian peninsula, because Dave has a Made Up Game that required an entire week of deliberation and a classroom’s worth of children.

Plus, turn another page and you'll find a one off feature which may or may not feature a dulcetly crooned jingle.

Remember you can catch bonus E&J only on BBC Sounds on The Bureau de Change of the Mind. So go and inhale those if you haven’t done so already. (We’re past DI Robbyns nonsense now, so it’s just more of the boys).

Get all your passing thoughts in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

We start in the anecdote Wild West. Specifically it was wild [north] west London for Elis as he’s been to Oasis in credibility damaging seats. The best seats in the house, surrounded by some of the most famous people in the country. He *could* have asked for General Admission. But he didn’t and that suggestion is shoved up the tunnel of anguish.

City backline Akanji, Dias and Gvardiol were all with him and all saw him in tears. Incidentally Gvardiol was papped on commando retreat this summer smeared in war paint. Something you wouldn’t catch Elis doing as he nibbles on his prawn sandwiches.

But there are others swinging into the anecdote town, including the most handsome cowboy around, Luke McQueen. We also receive reflections on Elis’s inability to remember Pythagoras' theorem and open up his big ideas box which contains the phrase “health podcast”. *AND* there's a potential ill-thought out feature in the offing. It's hit after hit.

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp if you also want to reflect on your many corporate box experiences.

It’s a lament time of year. It’s an Edinburgh time of year. A time when John yearns for the crippling comedic examination which is the Edinburgh Festival. For he cannot experience that emotional rollercoaster this year. He can’t sit on a stage and call himself a C*** after someone shouts “have you had a ploughman’s” during the most emotionally hefty part of his show.

Thankfully Elis’s wedding DJ, Nish Kumar, is on hand to bring despatches from the Caledonian comic frontline.

And as always that isn’t all. Because as a magazine show commands, there must be a selection of other lighthearted segments and features. In such bits expect John to, yet again, admonish Elis’s potential car selection and a return of an old featurey friend to set tongues alight.

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all of your passing thoughts. And do go check out the blooming Bureau de Change of the mind eps on the BBC Sounds feed if you haven’t already!

Elis has secured a last minute Oasis ticket, but the big question is… what *does* he wear??? Will Liam stop during Champagne Supernova and pick him out specifically?

Meanwhile, John has had two prawn vindaloos and there’s been ‘interest’ down below. This is all amidst the great wildflower debate which continues apace, and Elis is on the end of a lot of stick. What if we created a tantalising buffet of ecological confusion?

There’s also further blow out from Elis’s Made Up Games failings and ensuing existential crisis. And speaking of blowing an extraordinary Mad Dad explodes into the inbox for the boys get their teeth into.

And for all your stuff it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on electronic mail, or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

It’s a big show for Elis’s confidence. After failing to clinch the first quint-connection last week, he was already on the ropes. But throw in a Made Up Game question harking back to school maths, and another tense outing of the Cymru Connection, and he may (does) turn into a man on the edge.

And for said Made Up Game we have a very special guest in the studio. It’s someone who brings Elis and John vibes to the area most weeks, and they’re here to present their very own game.

Plus there’s a lot of talk about imbalance within the BBC and the classic question: what if 100,000 cars watched Oasis?

It’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all your very best stuff.

Elis and John vibes in the areoh! Producer Dave has been to see Oasis and talks the boys through the various ‘ingredients’ that made it a night to remember. He also recounts a living nightmare he’s just experienced including missing equipment, an excitable crowd in Oxford, and a cat that can’t stop weeing.

Elsewhere there’s all the accoutrements that make up a classic Elis and John offering: John provides a deep dive into the significance of pheasants in Danny Champion of the World, and makes an admission about today’s Wordle that will rock you to your very core. Elis expresses his love for the pay-as-you-go car scene, only for John to provide a chilling prediction for the future of motor travel…

You too can get involved in the Elis and John experience. Just email your thoughts and feelings to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp your vibes to 07974 293 022.

Elis is on the precipice of glory. Just two things stand between him and immortality. First up is the chance to be crowned the fastest dad in all of key stage 1 at his son’s sports day. We know he plays football a lot and we know he cycles to Brighton sometimes, but can Elis do it on an overcast Thursday in South London?

Secondly, our very own son of Wales has the chance to write his name in Cymru Connecting history (a game that, lest we forget, only he plays professionally). He’s Cymru Connected 4 weeks in a row; can he obtain the never-been-done-before quint Connection?

John is already a winner this week, as he crowns himself Generation Air Fryer’s new pin-up boy. And he makes some bold and slightly worrying claims about the aesthetics of his stomach.

Elsewhere there’s a belting Made Up Game from one of you the you listeners, and Mad Daddery gets turned up to 11.

If the Elis James and John Robins show were a wind turbine, then your correspondence would be the wind making it turn, so keep on sending in your wind (correspondence) to the usual places: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on the emails, and 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApps.

It's a very smell heavy show today but the aromas aren't good as listeners inform Elis and John of a quite literal VW barrel of eggs and a queasy French exchange tale.

Meanwhile Maisie Adam is very very hungover after England’s dramatic quarter final win, and Dave gets sacked twice in the first 10 minutes after his lads trip to Mallorca. Of course he sang Wonderwall to some 75 year old couples whilst there. What would you expect?

Plus the wallet debate continues as a huge curveball is thrown into the mix, potentially changing John’s worldview: What if it’s just a bin?

To get in touch it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp or elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk

Remember to head to the Bureau on Saturday morning. Dropping only into those BBC Sounds feeds of yours.

Elis needs a new car. But how can John advise him on his next whip when shackled by the understandable constraints of undue product prominence? Well John has been on a special course, the Balance BBc (Hons) at a local uni, in order to undertake this difficult task and be What Car?* for the impartial content generation. Can he navigate such tricky waters / roads without risking complaints from rival manufacturers?

But none of that matters in practice because all cars are the same. Every single car. There’s not a single difference between any of them.

Beyond such automotive decision making it’s a busy show. Producer Dave is still off ruining quaint European squares on his lads trip and the boys are joined by two of Elis’s radio heroes for a reflection on radio of the past. There’s also some belting Mad Dads and can Elis complete his first ever Connecting four in a row?

elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp

*Or Autocar or Auto Express or Classic & Sports Car.

Elis is back from Euros Trip No. 1 and he’s Dad of the Year. A far more prestigious award than the 2008 accolade of the same name won by Peter Andre and sponsored by “Daddies Sauce”. Yes, his daughter not only experienced an unforgettable time watching the Welsh women, but she also saw her two favourite artists in eight days. Could Elis now become the best dad of the 21st century?

John meanwhile has had a sweat overload and Producer Dave is off sunning himself in Mallorca. Amidst such a backdrop it’s asked whether the wallet is in fact dead, and there’s a chat with Maisie Adam to warm the cockles. And we get out the tally chart to see if John is victorious this week.

For all of your voicenotes it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp and longer thoughts to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk via email.

After many moons of service the mobile terrarium / paint dump / dodgem, the VW Barrel of Eggs, is no more. And today’s show is in tribute to that trusty steed.

Currently lying in state, when it makes its final journey on the back of a low loader to the scrapheap make sure to line the streets of South London and doff your cap.

Yes this is the only podcast to pay tribute to two different cars coincidentally manufactured under the auspices of the VW Group. Pushing boundaries and all that.

But how will John handle the news?

Despite so much time dedicated to such fun there is enough left over for some secondary fun on a bleak day. Can Elis hit a *true* return to Connecting form? Plus, there’s a thrillingly competitive Made Up Game.

A book of condolence has been opened up via elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk on email and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all your automotive tributes.

John’s annoyed because Elis and Dave have used all their material before the mics came on. Chin wagging like old ladies at the salon. But as is often the case we are saved by delving into the depths of insignificance.

Some people think that the mines of inconsequentiality had run dry on this show. That the pick axes couldn’t uncover anything more minor than previously. But there's the richest of seams for John to sink his teeth into as Lawrence throws more fuel onto the one touch fire.

And it’s a big old busy show for John’s also got some very significant news that’s written in the stars and Video Producer Izzy explains the concept of situationships to men in their forties.

For all of your voicenotes relating to efficiency it’s 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp or elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk via email.

The time has come to pick a side: are you pro-riff or anti-riff? Do you think that caution kills the riff? Would you wilfully step into the riff matrix and do your damnedest to see it through to the bitter end? In short, do you back the riff? This is what Producer Dave must decide.

But he’s not the only one facing tough questions this week. Elis is confronted by his young son about a timing mishap that leaves him quoting Harold Wilson at his daughter in his pants. And John is left questioning why people act so strangely whilst waiting for the tube.

There’s also an excellent outing of the Cymru Connection, a tense dice-based game, and the boys riff the first ever 100% watched TV program.

If you back the riff let us know at elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.

It’s a strange old time for Elis James. On the one hand he’s being called a thirst trap on the carra (the Instagram carousel, for those not in the know); people can’t seem to get enough of his floppy hair, his jawline, and his interesting t-shirts. On the other hand, he’s getting hammered for slagging off Belgium, and having some harsh words directed at him by one of TV’s greatest quiz hosts. What the sigma can he do!?

But no worries, it’s Rodmas Day! He’s off to see Olivia Rodrigo, one of the most famous singers on the planet, whom John’s never heard of - he's more of an Avril Lavigne guy.

John’s been busy chalking up his wins and losses, and working out whether the massive box of carb chews he bought was a good or bad purchase.

There’s a lovely chat with biker Adrian Chiles, more taxi-related stag antics, and John finds common ground with an emailer’s assertion that every journey counts.

If you want to praise or berate Elis, or share your words of wisdom with John, it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or 07974 293 022 on the WhatsApp.

And make sure you catch the finale of DI Robbyns in tomorrow’s Bureau de Change of the Mind, only on BBC Sounds of course.

There’s something drifting in on the air today. A funk. Criminality. Yes it seems to be bifta o’clock as John spots a doob roller on the tube. That, and it being the relaxfest which is Glastonbury, combine to see the hazy funk of ‘da ‘erb’ and its ensuing uncoolness discussed at length. Because simply put this is not how Britain will build back better.

Elsewhere, Elis comes in today on a high. A cycling high. And that high isn’t from anything which Lance Armstrong might have partaken in. It’s just the high of exercise, good vibes and raising money for charity. A figure that was primarily boosted by John. Humble, giving John. Why? Because that’s just who he is.

There’s also a Made Up Game which appeals to Producer Dave’s topical content nose, a classic Mad Dad and the expectation of Elis knowing William Hague’s wife.

If you want to get in touch then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the means, as is 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.

There’s some good upstanding British gear flying around today. Bin chat. Which bins? What goes in what? What blooming colours have you got? Show us your bins on elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.

In less disposable content, there’s a right to reply from one of Colin’s holiday companions and he may have to be sent to prison for telling the truth.

Plus there’s an absolute anxiety dream as John is forced to sit through playing the voice of DI Robbyns to someone from Cork.

There’s bonus post bag content over on the Bureau de Change of the Mind on Saturday morning. ONLY on BBC Sounds.

Elis James has become the story, and not for the right reasons. No matter how much he talks about ‘Zoe on the train’, there’s no doubt that our Cymru Connecting prodigy has lost his way. He’s in the Bobby Gould years. Today we attempt to correct his woeful form with some expert help.

Colin makes a welcome return to proceedings as John shares more information about his holiday. Plus, there’s a belting taxi-based stag Shame, and everyone tries to work out who Alan Howard is.

And remember, the price of success is always paid in full and in advance.

If you want to get in touch then elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk is the means, as is 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.