In this episode of the Elevate and Dommenate podcast, the hosts engage with Patrick Lyra Wilder, an expert in somatic psychotherapy, to explore the intricate relationship between therapy and kink. They discuss how both practices can complement each other, particularly in the context of trauma healing and identity formation. The conversation delves into the importance of self-awareness, ethical play, and the identification of green flags in relationships, while also addressing the challenges posed by trauma and the necessity of empathy in kink dynamics. This conversation delves into the complexities of kink communities, emphasizing the importance of safety, consent, and understanding power dynamics. The speakers discuss the cultural context of kink, the impact of trauma, and the significance of self-awareness in navigating these spaces. They also explore the role of neurodivergence in kink, highlighting the unique challenges and insights that neurodivergent individuals bring to the community. The discussion encourages a deeper understanding of how personal experiences shape interactions within kink and the necessity of fostering a supportive environment for all participants. This conversation delves into the complexities of neurodivergence, particularly ADHD and autism, within the context of kink. The speakers discuss how these neurotypes influence communication, power dynamics, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. They emphasize the need for understanding and accommodating each other's differences to create a safe and fulfilling kink experience. The discussion also touches on the intersection of neurodiversity and privilege, highlighting the importance of recognizing one's own biases and responsibilities in relationships.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Kink and Therapy03:06 The Intersection of Somatic Psychotherapy and Kink05:54 Navigating Trauma in Kink Dynamics09:00 Understanding Boundaries and Ethical Play11:49 Identifying Green Flags in Kink Relationships15:00 The Role of Confirmation Bias in Healing17:54 Building a Toolkit for Self-Regulation20:51 Empathy and Responsibility in Kink Dynamics22:51 Prioritizing Safety in Kink Communities26:01 Cultural Context of Kink and Power Dynamics29:48 Navigating Consent and Boundaries in Kink33:07 Understanding Trauma and Self-Awareness36:55 The Role of Neurodivergence in Kink48:47 Identifying Neurodivergence and Its Impact51:39 The Role of Communication in Kink Dynamics54:41 Navigating Power Dynamics in Neurodiverse Relationships01:01:03 The Importance of Authenticity in Kink01:04:17 Exploring the Intersection of Kink and NeurodiversityShow TakeawaysKink can be therapeutic, but it is not therapy.Self-awareness is crucial for navigating intimate relationships.Understanding trauma is key to engaging in kink safely.Green flags in relationships indicate safety and awareness.Therapists should have a referral list for kink practitioners.Kink dynamics require clear boundaries and ethical considerations