London  Comedy Writers Olly Allsop and Jordan Birch attend the upgrading of the  Holy Stone of Clonrickert to a Class 2 Relic. Hosting three bishops on  the island is going to be the highlight of Mrs Doyle's career, but  unfortunately she's lost her contact lenses. Dougal philosophises on the nature of Heaven and Hell and all that, while Ted has to bring Jack  through a few elocution lessons (Th-th-th-that...).

We  also share our own Gary Lineker Ghost Stories, the mechanics of  Buckaroo (The Sport of Kings), and Dougal's Bjork obsession. It's a Priest thing, you wouldn't understand.