In Part 2 of David’s story, he opens up about the early days of his marriage and the life event that triggered a sharp decline in their sex life. He remembers feeling lonely but not fully understanding why. Although he and his wife had many conversations about what she was experiencing, her perspective never quite clicked for him.
That changed when she began listening to Janna’s podcast and finally found the words to explain what she was feeling. Once David started listening to other people’s stories, the pieces began to fall into place. He realized he had carried negative patterns into their marriage—patterns that blocked true intimacy and emotional safety. In this episode, David reflects on what he learned, not only as a therapist but also as a husband.
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David, a Mexican American, grew up navigating the influence of two cultures—his Hispanic, Catholic upbringing and the American, white culture around him. He describes his Hispanic roots as warm, physical, and affectionate, yet completely silent when it came to conversations about sex. While his parents assured him he could talk to them about anything, the unspoken rule was clear: sex was a taboo topic.
At just eight years old, David discovered his father’s hidden pornography stash. That early exposure deeply shaped his perceptions of women and his ideas about what relationships should look like. Years later, when he met his wife in college, the hidden pressures and distorted beliefs he carried began to strain their intimacy. It wasn’t until he joined Janna’s program that David finally began to recognize—and untangle—the negative effects of those early experiences.
Tune in next week to hear Part 2 of David's story.
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Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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When Natalie met her husband, they clicked instantly. After marriage, their sex life was good at first, but over time her desire began to fade. Things worsened after having kids—she describes her husband’s advances as “feeling like another need to fill.” He urged her to “fix” her low libido, but deep down, she knew it wasn’t her hormones that needed repairing. Something felt off, though she couldn’t quite pinpoint it—she just knew his advances left her feeling gross and cringy.
Around this time, Natalie discovered Janna’s podcast and immediately recognized what had been missing in her relationship: safety. Through the Doing It Together program, she felt validated and reassured that her instincts had been right all along. As her trust in her intuition grew, she and her husband uncovered behaviours that had been off-base. Now, they’re working together to create a safer, healthier space for both of them.
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Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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In Part 2 of John’s story, he shares how he met his wife online and how quickly their relationship progressed. They moved in together almost immediately, and he describes their sex life early on as “frequent, enjoyable, and exciting.” But over time, the honeymoon phase faded. Their sexual connection began to feel like something they should do, rather than something they wanted to do.
Even though they shared a deep emotional bond, John started questioning whether he was in the right relationship. He made efforts to reignite the spark—planning date nights, giving massages, even trying to schedule intimacy—but the distance between them only grew as he gradually pulled away.
Sensing the shift, his wife suggested they listen to some of Janna’s podcasts together. That led them to join Doing It Together, and for John, it was eye-opening. He began to recognize how deeply cultural conditioning had shaped both of their experiences. He now understands that “fixing” their sex life isn’t just about physical connection—it’s about healing and growing together on multiple levels.
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As a teenager, John felt uneasy about the new sensations of arousal in his changing body. He wasn’t sure how to handle them, which led to persistent discomfort, performance anxiety, and awkward early attempts at intimacy with girls.
During his university years, John moved past some of his self-doubt—but his behavior in relationships took a troubling turn. He describes feeling like he was “trying to make up for lost time,” and admits he didn’t treat his girlfriends with the respect they deserved. Even though it felt awful, he found himself cheating and sabotaging his relationships.
In this episode, Janna and John unpack those complicated feelings and explore what was really driving his actions.
Tune in next week for Part 2 of John’s story.
Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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When Andrea met her husband, they shared an instant connection. She describes their early intimacy as “fun, easy, and pressure-free.” But after they got married, things began to shift. Sex became complicated, and Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her. She found herself checking the calendar, counting the days, and feeling her anxiety grow.
On the outside, their relationship looked perfect—but behind closed doors, the tension was building. They tried individual counseling, couples therapy, and Andrea read endlessly about low libido in women, searching for answers. But nothing changed… until she found Janna.
For the first time, Andrea was introduced to a different perspective—one where intimacy could look and feel entirely new. Hear what she discovered, and why she calls Janna’s Doing It Together program truly life-changing.
Get Janna's FREE 3-part video series for women, The Real Reason You Don't Want Sex.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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Andrea, now 37, grew up in the 1990s, shaped by the influence of pop icons like Britney Spears and the Spice Girls. Back then, “girl power” looked like tube tops, perfect hair, and using every ounce of energy to grab—and most importantly, keep—the attention of boys.
As a teenager, Andrea poured her focus into chasing male approval. But when the attention finally came, and kissing or more was expected to maintain it, the magic disappeared. The chase felt exhausting, and the physical side of things felt more like a performance than pleasure. Deep down, she wasn’t enjoying any of it. Confused and disappointed, Andrea started to wonder if something was wrong with her.
Tune in next week for Part 2 of Andrea’s story—where things start to shift.
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In Part 2 of her episode, Shannon opens up about the next chapter of her story. After meeting her husband, she eagerly took the lead in their relationship—from their first kiss to exploring intimacy together. Remaining a virgin until marriage was deeply important to her, so they waited until their wedding night to have intercourse.
But the moment she had waited for her entire life turned out to be excruciatingly painful—and the pain didn’t go away. For two years, Shannon silently endured, until she was finally diagnosed with vulvodynia, a chronic condition causing pain around the vulva. What was supposed to be a joyful part of marriage became a painful obligation. She was overwhelmed with guilt and shame, feeling as though she had failed as a wife.
Eventually, she found an incredible pelvic floor specialist who helped relieve much of the physical pain—but the emotional and sexual disconnection lingered. Despite her efforts, she still didn’t feel desire. Over the next 20 years, they struggled. A sex therapist left Shannon feeling blamed and broken. They even tried visiting sex clubs, hoping that new experiences might reignite her interest. Nothing worked, and Shannon sank into depression.
Then she found Janna.
For the first time, Shannon felt truly seen, heard, and understood. With Janna’s support, her relationship has completely transformed. Now, Shannon looks forward to the next 20 years with her husband—hopeful, empowered, and finally at peace.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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Shannon grew up in a conservative Christian household during the 1990s, at the height of the purity culture movement. At just 14 years old, she signed a contract pledging to remain a virgin until marriage.
Now, Shannon shares what she was taught during that time, how she navigated the strict “rules” meant to preserve her so-called purity, and how those experiences have shaped the way she now talks to her 10-year-old daughter—especially in light of what she’s learned from Janna.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is always open for registration. Learn more and join here.
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Jess and her husband went through a slow but steady decline in intimacy, eventually reaching a point where they hadn't had sex for years. While her husband assumed she had no interest, Jess thought about it constantly—carrying deep feelings of shame and guilt. They never spoke about it, and Jess felt completely stuck, unsure of how to move forward.
Then Jess discovered Janna’s podcast. She listened quietly for over a year before she ever mentioned it to her husband. She was drawn to Janna’s Wanting It More Foundations course for women, hoping to better understand why she had grown to dislike sex—and to begin figuring out what she might actually enjoy.
The course gave her the words and insights she had been missing. For the first time, Jess realized she had no real understanding of what felt good to her—she had always been focused on other people’s needs and feelings instead of her own. With this new awareness, she was finally able to have an open, honest conversation with her husband.
Together, they decided to take the Doing It Together course. Now, they’re learning how Jess can reconnect with herself and how her husband can support her in that journey.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is on sale for $100 off until June 17. Learn more and join here.
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In the second part of Kate’s story, we discover what shifted in her marriage that caused her once-strong sexual desire to disappear—and why sex became a low priority in her relationship.
When Kate started dating her future husband, she worried the passion might fade. But to her relief, it didn’t. Their sex life remained fun, exciting, and free of guilt. Everything changed, however, after they had children.
Following the birth of their second child, Kate found herself constantly exhausted. While sex remained a top priority for her husband, it became the last thing on Kate’s mind by the end of each day. Her husband felt hurt and began to believe she no longer loved him.
For years, Kate went through the motions, having sex mainly to meet his needs—but she found little enjoyment in it. During this period, she was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), which only deepened her fatigue. As her symptoms worsened, she eventually had to leave her job, and any energy for intimacy vanished.
Then, Kate stumbled across Janna’s Wanting It More Foundations program for women through an online ad. She took the self-paced course and recalls thinking, “I can’t believe I’m not the only one!” Understanding the real reasons behind her low desire was a breakthrough. She suggested they try Doing It Together, a couples’ version of the course—and her husband was fully on board.
Now, Kate shares what they’ve learned and the steps they’re taking to build a mutually satisfying sexual connection—one that truly works for both of them.
Janna's Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is on sale for $100 off until June 17. Learn more and join here.
Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.
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Kate’s story differs from many shared on this podcast. She was raised by atheist parents in a non-religious household. Although sex was never talked about, she educated herself by stealing books about sex from her grandmother’s library.
In her 20’s, she was part of the slam poetry scene and she and her friends “slept around a lot” having fun and feeling completely free of shame or guilt. When she met her future husband, she refused to officially date him for well over a year, because they were having such a good time (in and out of the bedroom) and she didn’t want things to change.
But, despite her best efforts, something did change.
Tune in next week to hear Part 2 of Kate’s story.
Join the waitlist for the Oct./Nov. 2025 round of Doing It Together here.
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If you’ve been curious about what the concepts of Doing It Together can do for your sex life and marriage in the long term, this is the episode for you!
Justin and Sandra, married for 19 years, took Doing It Together two years ago and they graciously share VERY specific details about what their relationship and sex life look like now. They open up about how they’ve learned to talk, play, remain curious, and change things up through life’s ups and downs.
They also share how their marriage has changed outside the bedroom and the routines they’ve incorporated to keep their connection at the forefront of their marriage.
You can listen to Justin and Sandra's personal stories by listening to these previous episodes:
The Michelle Mays episode on Betrayal Trauma can be found here: Episode 108
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Janna answers questions she's received from men and women about her Doing It Together program.
Questions include:
• I’ve never had a sex drive—not even before marriage. Will this program help me?
• My husband is a good guy. What if the problem really is just me?
The next round of Doing It Together is open for registration! Get $300 off for this round only! Register now!
Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your rating and review to help the podcast reach more couples.
In part two of Janna’s conversation with Ryan, he opens up about his decision to wait until marriage to have sex—a choice rooted in a desire to escape the guilt he’d carried for most of his life. While the experience was fine at first, their intimacy gradually faded. Over time, Ryan began to feel isolated and deeply unloved. Determined to fix their relationship, he turned to podcasts and books for advice. But as his frustration grew, he found himself blaming his wife for not putting in the same level of effort.
Ironically, it was his wife who discovered the Doing It Together course and suggested they try it. Ryan admits that much of the content wasn’t entirely new to him. What was new, however, was seeing that information through the lens of intimacy within marriage. It shifted his entire perspective. Instead of focusing on what he saw as her "problem," Ryan began to reflect on his own role in their dynamic. The course helped him realize the powerful impact of making changes on his side—both emotionally and physically—which began to transform their connection, in and out of the bedroom.
The next round of Doing It Together is open for registration! Get $300 off for this round only! Register now!
Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your rating and review to help the podcast reach more couples.
In Part 1 of Ryan’s story, he opens up about his early experiences learning about sex—lessons that came in crude form on the school bus, mixed messages from his Christian upbringing, and early exposure to internet pornography. This exposure led to an addiction that left him feeling trapped and overwhelmed with guilt. Ryan shares what it took for him to finally reach out for help, and the powerful lesson he learned about the importance of listening without judgment.
Tune in next week for the rest of Ryan’s story, where he discusses his marriage, their struggles with sex, and the breakthrough insight that transformed the way he understands intimacy.
Janna's free classes for women and men are happening May 12 & 13.
Register for the women's free class, Wanting It More 101: https://jannadentonhowes.com/freeclass
Register for the men's free class, Getting It More 101: http://jannadentonhowes.com/free-class-men
The next round of Doing It Together is open for registration! Get $300 off for this round only! Register now!
Learn about the Doing It Together program details, schedules, testimonials, and Q&A.
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your rating and review to help the podcast reach more couples.
At 62, Bill has been married to his wife for 32 years. They waited until marriage to become intimate, but soon after discovered she had endometriosis, a condition that made intercourse painful and unfulfilling. As a result, she began to withdraw—avoiding physical affection and emotional affirmation to steer clear of intimacy. Meanwhile, Bill deeply missed the emotional closeness they had shared during their dating years.
Over time, resentment and frustration took root. The emotional disconnect between them grew, creating a silent distance that neither knew how to bridge.
Through his work with Janna, Bill began to reconnect with his emotions and learn how to express what he was truly feeling. This emotional awareness opened the door to conversations they had never had before—conversations made possible by a shared language of vulnerability and understanding that was new to them.
Today, Bill says they are more emotionally connected than ever. That connection, he shares, has been the key to rekindling their relationship in a way that feels real, deep, and truly meaningful.
Resources: Google How We Feel App
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
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I’m continuing my powerful conversation with Carey from last week. If you haven’t heard that episode yet, I highly recommend going back to Episode 142 to catch up—she opened up so vulnerably about her 30-year marriage and the challenges she’s faced with intimacy over the years.
In this episode, Carey shares how her entire understanding of sex has evolved, the hard truths she and her husband had to confront together, and how their intimate life looks completely different now—in ways that might surprise you.
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
The next round of Doing It Together runs June/July 2025. Get $300 off for this round only! Join the Waitlist.
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In this honest and vulnerable two-part episode, Carey shares the hidden struggles she faced with intimacy throughout her 30-year marriage while raising seven children.
At just nine years old, Carey was exposed to adult magazines that distorted her understanding of intimacy. By 13, she found herself in relationships where intimacy felt more like something expected of her than something she chose.
Married at 21 while still finishing school, she quickly began to see sex and intimacy as a burden—an obligation she was expected to fulfill. Guilt weighed heavily on her for not wanting it, and resentment grew toward her husband’s repeated attempts to initiate. Eventually, Carey stopped touching him altogether, leading to mounting tension and emotional distance in their marriage.
In her search for answers, Carey turned to countless “experts,” only to be met with confusion and misinformation that left her feeling even more broken and isolated. Meanwhile, her husband was left wondering if she truly loved him.
But that wasn’t the end of their story.
🎧 Tune in now to hear Carey’s raw and relatable journey—and don’t miss next week’s episode, where she shares the turning point that changed everything.
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
The next round of Doing It Together runs June/July 2025. Get $300 off for this round only! Join the Waitlist.
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In this reair of Ep. 111, Janna chats with Michael Kaufman, the author of The Time Has Come: Why Men Must Join the Gender Equality Revolution. Michael, a renowned advisor, activist, and keynote speaker, shares his insights on how traditional male roles in the bedroom and beyond often don’t benefit women. They dive into why it's crucial for men to confront their own privilege and engage in open dialogues about gender equality.
Michael also discusses the rapid shifts in societal roles for both men and women. By listening to women's voices and addressing their own defensiveness, men can better contribute to a more equitable world. Tune in to hear Michael's innovative approaches for transforming men's lives and fostering positive change for a more equitable society.
REFERENCES:
Michael Kaufman: https://michaelkaufman.com/the-time-has-come/
Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration.
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