If Raisin Bran made a horror film... I've been more scared in line at the DMV... An unripened pear has given me more chills... Something something not a horror movie. :)

Iowa is for lovers... or whatever. </3 :)

Honestly, we are in such desperate need for a vacation, that this cabin doesn't seem that bad. :)

*Awful, de-tuned clarinet folk music intensifies* :)

There's great ghost movies out there, like Grave Encounters, Paranormal Activity or Skinamarink... Then there's The Conjuring. James Wan movies would be so much better if they didn't suck so hard. :)

The only good nazi is an un-alived nazi. :)

Honestly, this could have just been a Goosebumps episode... :)

Valentine's Day is for kissing, and hugging and chocolate and murder... And sexual tension between a bunch of men. They leave that part out. :)

Oh Mr. Alien, please don't come sneak into my room and watch me while I sleep. Oh it would be just so scary if you gave me a little kiss on the lips and touched my butt with your spindly finger. Oh, the horror! :)

Do you like heart-felt movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Well this one won't do that. I mean, it'll make you feel something inside. Maybe icky... yeah, definitely icky.:)

No I promise, you're not on drugs... well maybe you are, but that's not the point. Strap in for MANDY, the longest Doom Metal video we've ever watched.:)

The art of stop-motion seems to be waaaaaay too hard to find even remotely enjoyable. It's like if someone decided to make waiting in line a full time job. :)

Necromancy always leads to cults. Talking to the dead? Cult. Try to resurrect a corpse? Cult. Open a portal to an ethereal plane full of body-harvesting parasites that sprouts wiggly worms from your face? Believe or not, cult. Every time.:)

Let this be a valuable lesson to not get your kids a pet for Christmas. They will fuck it up and destroy the entire town in the process. :)

"On this weeks episode of Death by Review, murder comes home for the holidays!! A sorority girl narrowly escapes the SLASHING and THRASHING of a mad man. Or does she?" ...Or at least that's what I would write if we we're an insufferable pair of co-hosts with a lack of self control and a tenuous grasp on broadcasting.:)

Imagine Terminator if it were based on Christmas. Now imagine it being made with a much smaller budget. Now imagine it with an ever more forgettable cast. This is what you'd get. Harbor Freight "Sarah Conner" and her band of alt punk dipshits. :)

How the hell do you trap the devil?? It's not like they're a racoon, or Jess, looking for snacks, and just happen to lure them into a cage. Like, "Oh, come here little devil. I've got little snackies and Mean Girls on DVD." ...Come to think of it, Jess, the devil, and racoons have a lot more in common than I realized.:)

You know, the tagline of this film is "There will be know leftovers!" And that just breaks my heart. The leftovers are the best part. :)

Who the hell is Devon Sawa?...:)

ThanksKilling has it all! It's got Turkey! It's got boobies! It's got dad farts!! So sit back, relax and be horrified by how awful this film is. Gobble gobble motherf%#@er!! DISCLAIMER!: DO NOT WATCH THANKSKILLING 3. IT IS A F%#KING WASTE OF TIME... Or do. I don't care.:)