Our goal here, at DEAR POD is not only to entertain but to inform you. If we have to traumatize one of our hosts to tell a story in which you can hear the PTSD come through the microphones and into your ears, for your entertainment and education. Well, who are we to deny you good people of the quality show which you deserve? You may thank Patrick later.

Happy Halloween!
We're talking about all the creepy topics you've ask for: Cremation, Past Halloween Costumes and Mark Wahlberg as a Psychotherapist. I know. We are biting off more of than we can chew. 
But, then again...We Are DEAR POD.

I don't promise many things in this life. But today, I make this promise to you all: After listening to this week's podcast, I dare you to look at a Big Mac, Fries and a Shake the same way ever again. 
So many questions. 
So much crime in one little land. 
Can I have more ketchup please?

Erin went to BERGDORF GOODMAN this week and it wasn't in a dream. On top of that, they didn't kick her out of the store. For this and other stories that make you go, "Huh, I wonder where I put the flashlight", pour a drink and tune in to this week's episode.

Welcome to your first day of rehearsals for the classic American Musical, ANNIE. Now before we jump into learning the music, can we have all the orphans line up on this side of the room? Great. Now, you, little girl playing Molly. Daddy Warbucks is going to do a "trust fall" into your arms. If you drop him, that means you insult my family. Enjoy the show!

IT'S SEASON SIX!
We have been invading your ear-space for the past six years! 
And what have you learned?
No. Really. Have you learned anything from us? If you did, good for you!. Consider yourself a member of a very tiny, tiny, tiny, club where you are President, Secretary and Treasurer all rolled into one.
Let Jules shake a celebratory cocktail for all of us, and let's the jackassery begin!
New format. New feel. New underwear.
Welcome to the Maha'a Tiki Lounge in the beautiful Pineapple Ranch!

Apparently, they're coming. MOTH has bet the ranch on it. She's already looking towards the sky with a NO TRESPASSING sign in her hand. Wait...you don't know who MOTH is. Start at episode one and catch up when you can. You'll thank me later.

Are you ready to learn about Italian style buffet food? 80's haircuts? wearing someone else's skin? I thought so. You're in the right place. Grab a plate, ask for extra garlic bread, and let the show begin!

I'll bet you were just thinking, "Why don't more people go to business meetings or attend classes in their pajamas?" Good question. If you would like to hear two people tackle that question then go off on a tangent about Helen Hunt...then by all means, stick around.

Welcome again to the Pineapple Ranch. Please mind the Lantern Flys on your way in. We suggest that you not only step on them but please don't look our host, Erin Maguire, directly in the eyes when you enter the Maha'a Tiki Lounge. It will make sense when you see her. Best of luck.

Excuse me, Sir. If you want to listen to the latest episode of DEAR POD on this flight, you'll have to buy these airline approved headphones from us. If you would like a soda, that's free. We just charge for the ice. Per cube. 
Enjoy!

A ship. 
A life-time supply of booze. 
4000 people.
What could go wrong?
Hit START and try to act shocked. It will make me Erin feel a little better about her life choices.

Yes. I know. You're here for advice. But if Erin & Patty don't b&tch about the new Jurassic Park movie, we're never going to get anywhere this week. Now, please put on your Jeff Goldblum glasses and let's start the show.

For God's sake, whatever you do, do not approach Erin and assume that she works at the Pineapple Ranch. Just keep moving along and try not to make direct eye contact with her. I am telling you this for your own safety. Please try to enjoy the show.

Get the CREST. Get the COLGATE. Grab the floss. This week's "mini" is about to burrow a hole through your incisors. Now, please pass the chocolate covered peanuts and let's get this episode started!

We're picking, digging, and mining for gold in this week's episode. No need for a Kleenex. Just wipe this episode on your arm as God has intended it. Man. That's just nasty.

Where else can you go from fleeing the bombs in the Middle East, to fleeing the disgusting living conditions of our kids in college. You got it! Only here at DEAR POD: The Comedy You Can Bet Money You'll Hear The Word Poop At Least Once In Every Episode Advice Podcast. It just rolls of the tongue. Doesn't it?

And Just Like That we bring you another episode of advice, laughter, and I'm sure, another story that involves someone crapping their pants. Wopuld you settle for anything less. We didn't think so. Buckle up and enjoy! 

Like it or not, after listening to this week's mini-sode, all you will want to do is run to your local record store, ask to be shown to the Phil Collins section, then say to the person, "I'll buy the lot!"! You're welcome, America.

Welcome to PART TWO of "This Can't Be True, It Sounds Too Much Like A Movie". Do Erin and her guys get home? Will her life forever be changed. Will there be gastric/stomach issues involved. If you are a long-time listener you may already know the answer to that last question.  This. Is. DEAR POD.