Sharpen those fangs, perfect your most brooding of stares, and try not to break any treaties while you’re at it. That’s right, lovely Critters, Ctrl Alt Critique is emerging from the misty forests of Forks for a third time!
Amber, Ad, and Bailey are sinking their teeth into the 2010 cultural phenomenon, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, and as is tradition, they are not alone! This week, they’re joined by special guest, Bailey’s sister and Twilight aficionado, Sammie, to help them take on the menacing new born army.
Join the coven for some super-human hullabaloo. Amber opens up about her tragic past as a 1940s Telford detective. Ad, meanwhile, educates the gang on an antiquated communication method involving armoured pigeons. Bailey muses on the perfect vampire power, settling on energy absorption and accidently pitching himself as a sparkly Kirby. Sammie weighs in on her desired gift; the power to hack empires, excel at her day job, and potentially turn herself into an accidental demi-god.
Enjoying the brooding down at the clearing? Why not sprint over to our Discord den, track the scent to our Instagram imprinting reservation, and lurk with us on the TikTok treaty line.
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” by Cinematic Music
“Adagio for Strings” by Samuel Barber
“Free News Intro” by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
Scrub down your intravehicular medical garments, secure the lab, and prepare for quarantine, because Ctrl Alt Critique is capturing a new specimen this week! That's right, darling Critters, Amber and Bailey are floating free from the airlock to tackle quite the organism; Daniel Espinosa's 2017 sci-fi shocker, Life.
Join the crew for a spot of zero-gravity chitchat. Amber shares her terror of the ultimate lockdown scenario; being trapped in a space pod with her lifelong hero, James Cameron, terrified that the beloved director will end up starting a fight with her. Bailey, meanwhile, pitches a thrilling experiment; a movie that splices the DNA of 1988's Child's Play with 1995's Toy Story.
Enjoying your incubation in the Ctrl Alt Critique containment unit? Why not let the conversation evolve further. Float on across to our Discord Decontamination unit, scuttle toward our Instagram ISS airlock, and lurk between the TikTok test tubes. All specimens are welcome!
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” by Cinematic Music
"Careless Whisper" by George Michael
"Fight to Survive" by Jeremiah Kane
“Free News Intro” by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
Grab your Mül converter, plot a course for Alpha, and prepare to phase-shift with Amber and Bailey. That's right, Critters, this week the Ctrl Alt Critique gang are firing up their Astroship and diving headfirst into Luc Besson's 2017 visual buffet, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets!
Amber channels her inner Bubble, unpacking the pros and cons of Rihanna's shape-shifting cabaret act, questioning whether a glamourpod is the ultimate tool for infiltrating her school bullies' social circle. Bailey, meanwhile, gets down to brass tacks, debating the intergalactic ethics of powering an agriculture and diamond empire at the expense of an adorable space rodent.
Did you enjoy your stay in the city of a thousand ramblings? The conversation continues in our own edition of the Big Market! Phase on over to our Discord dimension, TikTok territory, and Instagram interstellar to join in on the intergalactic waffle.
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” by Cinematic Music
"Careless Whisper" by George Michael
“Free News Intro” by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
Lock up your wine cellars and check those slippers of yours, for Ctrl Alt Critique has scuttled back into sight!
Amber, Bailey, and Ad are emerging from the barn rafters to unleash a venomous second series on their unsuspecting critters, and they're starting matters off by spinning a fresh web around the 1990 Amblin classic, Arachnophobia.
Join the trio for their signature stridulating hullabaloo. Amber recounts tales of her many sleepless nights, courtesy of some window-peeping extra-terrestrials. Ad, channelling his inner Health & Safety Officer, develops a serious concern for the Jennings household's cavalier attitude when it comes to nail gun etiquette. Bailey, meanwhile, recounts memories of an amphibian-shaped intruder residing in his footwear.
Enjoying your time tangled in the Ctrl Alt Critique web? Why not descend deeper into the nest: rappel down the silk line to our Discord Drainpipe, crawl through our tangled Instagram Ivy, and lurk with us in the TikTok Tub. There’s always room for one more.
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
“Free News Intro” Produced by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
It's been a while, but we're back, with our biggest episode yet! This time, we're thrilled to be joined by the terrific Ben Groves and delightful Rob Macfarlane, from The Every Movie Ever! Podcast. The boys have joined us in a frankly failed attempt to discuss the 2025 remake of Snow White.
The plan was to dish up some sizzling production facts, insightful takes on the making of this movie, and unique reflections on the narrative mechanics influencing the feature. Instead, we discuss organic fridges, Disney-themed mutants, manipulative fitness mirrors, Limp Bizkit's John Otto, and noise-cancelled headphones.
Up for 80 minutes of unfocused chaos? In which case, your dreams are about to come true.
Enchanted by the forest of chaos? Then grab your pickaxe, and whistle your way down to the our Discord mine, Instagram quarry, and TikTok pit, where the heigh-hoing never ends.
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
“Free News Intro” Produced by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
Just when you thought it was safe to go back on Spotify (or wherever you get your podcasts). This week, Amber and Bailey are sinking their teeth into Steven Spielberg's 1975 blockbuster grandaddy, Jaws.
Join Bailey, as he implies human holidaying may well be harmful to a great white's diet. Amber, meanwhile, suggests using Bailey as a form of biological warfare in a bid to rescue the residents of Amity from certain death. Ad may well be out of action for this episode, but that sure as heck doesn't stop him from offering his ten cents on how to clear the beaches in an explosive manner.
Basking in the warmth of the Ctrl Alt Critique shores? Then grab your lilos and paddle on down to our Discord, TikTok and Instagram skerry, where the vacation never ends.
Music used in this episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
"Axel Returns" by Lorne Balfe“Free News Intro” Produced by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
"Wallpaper" by Kevin Macleod“Wardrobe MalfunKtion” Produced by Danya Vodovoz
Join Amber, Ad and Bailey as they chat shop about all things voodoo, sentient toys, and doll-focused cults. This week, the trio are covering Tom Holland’s 1988 horror hit, Child’s Play. Listen as Ad sells his dreams of attaining sentient limbs and cornflower blood. Amber, meanwhile, makes a peculiar confession concerning proto-punk band member, Iggy Pop. Bailey, on the other hand, has grand plans to make some serious bank with his hypothetical conscious-hopping capabilities.
As always, there’s a whole heap of outtakes after the credits, yet somehow, this week’s seems more absurd than usual. 29 episodes in, you’d think this would be a thing of the past by now…
Enjoying your chunky key Lego set, Amborg 3000 doll and hustler Bailey action figure? Then why note come down to our Discord depot, TikTok outlet and Instagram emporium, where thousands of Ctrl Alt Critique goodies await your arrival!
Music used in the episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
“$165 Million + Interest (Intro) The Round Up” Composed by David Holmes
“Arrival to Earth” composed by Steve Jablonsky
This week, Amber, Ad and Bailey are going head-to-head with a demonic room, taking on Mikael Håfström’s adaptation of Stephen King’s 1408. Join Bailey, as he takes a deep dive into his lifelong fear of sea life centers. Is having the attention of a single mollusk truly more terrifying than taking the express checkout from one’s mortal coil? Amber certainly seems to think so. Ad, meanwhile, shares his foolproof plans to hire an entire crime syndicate to deter Mike Enslin from spending the night in a demonic suite.
Enjoying your stay at Ctrl Alt Critique? Fancy staying formany more nights? Then why not check in to our Discord, TikTok and Instagram suites, where the thrills never end.
Don't forget, Ctrl Alt Critique listeners can now get 20% off the upcoming Spotlight Indie 2025 event being held at the Nerdy Cafe on September 20th. The event will feature book signings, trader tables, writing advice, live interviews, workshops and author panels. To get your discount, enter CTRLALTCRIT into the promo. Tickets can be found here.
Music used in the episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
Following a week of the cinematic torment known as 2019’s Cats, the trio find salvation in the soaring melodies of The Greatest Showman. Rejoice, as Bailey sings praise toward a genre he tends to have a hard time with, all whilst exposing the real-life horrors of PT Barnum in the process. Adam hits a sour note on the potential chaos of a world in which everyone sings their inner thoughts aloud. Amber, meanwhile, harmonizes a whole ballad’s worth of behind-the-scenes production facts, revealing the high notes and low notesof the film's inception.
Enjoying our melodic hullabaloo? Then yodel on over to our Discord, TikTok and Instagram choirs, where the music never ends.
Music used in the episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
“Are You Ready for This” by Jock Jams
This week, for reasons yet to be fully understood, Amber, Ad, and Bailey are tackling Tom Hooper's 2019 remake of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats. Regular contributor Sammie joins them once again to offer her unique perspective on this peculiar feature. Prepare for a discussion covering everything from Taylor Swift to Tom Hooper's directorial choices, the ethics of portraying pets in a shameful light, and the potential long-term impacts of this movie now having a home in Amber's film library.
Having fun? Then get yourself over to our Discord, where you can chat all things Cats and more! Also be sure to nimble on over to our Instagram and Tik Tok pages for exclusive content!
Music used in the episode:
“Glatiators” Produced by Muff Murfin
“Jellical Songs for Jellical Cats” Produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber
Amber and Bailey revisit the weird and wonderful world of extraterrestrials, covering the 2002 M. Night Shyamalan’s invasion flick, Signs.
Prepare for a wild ride as Bailey attempts to apply a geopolitical lens to these water-fearing beasties. Amber, meanwhile, tries to utilise her QHSE Officer expertise, providing these aliens with a spot of homework before reattempting a second invasion. So grab your tin foil hats, contaminated super soakers and a sturdy baseball bat, as the pair prepare to tackle this sci-fi smash!
Enjoying the show? Then fly over to our Instagram, Discord and TikTok pages, where you can graffiti across the Ctrl Alt Critique corn fields.
Music Used in the episode:
“Angelic Choir” Produced by Rafael Krux
"Count Down Theme" Composed by Alan Hawkshaw
“Elevator Music” Produced by Kevin MacLeod
"ER Theme" Composed by James Newton Howard
“Radio Clock Logo” Produced by Sounddotcom
“Wardrobe MalfunKtion” Produced by Danya Vodovoz
This week, Ad, Amber and Bailey are reviewing James Cameron’s 1986 sequel to the Ridley Scott sci-fi hit, Aliens. Join Bailey and Ad, as they dish up a compelling defense case for Carter J. Burke’s actions, inviting the jury (well…listeners) to contemplate whether Ellen Ripley may well have been the real villain all along. Amber, meanwhile, brings some of her Occupational Health and Safety qualifications to the table, theorizing whether there might have been a more sensible methodology the marines could have followed during their doomed time on LV-426.
Enjoying the show? Then head on over to our Instagram, Discord and TikTok, and join the Ctrl Alt Critique hive!
Music used in the episode:
"Law & Order" Composed by Mike Post
“Positive Jingle” Produced by Sounddotcom
“Wardrobe MalfunKtion” Produced by Danya Vodovoz
"Weekly Wipe" Composed by Nathan Fake
This week, Amber, Ad, and Bailey dive into Robert Eggers' remake of the classic 1922 German expressionist masterpiece, Nosferatu.
Join the trio as they discuss their favorite vampire films of all time, the director’s cuts that excite them most, and their imaginative strategies for vanquishing pesky vampires.
Is Amber a uniquely skilled vampire slayer, or just the strange, toxic ex girlfriend Count Orlok's dad always warned them about? Can Bailey rock his upcoming hot-boy summer arc with a UV jockstrap and a bandolier packed with garlic doughballs? And is it possible for Ad to review a film he hasn’t actually seen? Tune in to find out the answers to some (but not all) of these questions!
Enjoying the twaddle? Then be sure to check out our Discord and Instagram pages.
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
Ctrl Alt Critique kicks off the new year with a bang and a brand new question-based format!
This time, Amber schools us on cinema etiquette, while sharing more detail on her novel-writing dreams. Meanwhile, Bailey gushes over Apple TV originals and reveals his ambitious plan to ditch a decade-old habit. Tune in for a wild mix of self-help, film chatter, TV recommendations, and pure nonsense.
Love the show? Then why not join our Discord and Instagram pages, where the joy never stops!
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
Amber returns with another batch of bonus content from our 2024 run of episodes. Join the trio through the weeks, as they chat babble about supposed witty wordplay, X-Factor intros, coconut allergies, canine feuds, UFO resurgence movies, accident train rides to the West Midlands and romancing with beloved sci-fi characters.
Enjoying the show? Then get yourself on over to our Discord server and Instagram page.
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
"Absurd" Produced by David Fesliyan
"Wardrobe MalfunKtion” Produced by Danya Vodovoz
Amber, Bailey, and Ad are back with a super-duper, feature-length festive special! This week, they’ll be tackling questions put forward by the fabulous Ctrl Alt Critique family; as well as tossing in a few of their own musings for one another to answer.
Ever wondered what the co-hosts ask Santa for Christmas? Well wonder no more, as this week, the trio will be reading them out-loud, on air.
But that’s not all, folks! Also included is a Christmas quiz that'll leave Amber's brain sizzling, and Ad's mood even lower than its usual baseline grump.
If you're loving the yuletide chaos, why not pop on over and join us on Discord? Dive into the conversation, toss in your two cents, and help shape our future episodes. Plus, get your Ctrl Alt Critique fix over on our Instagram, where we post exclusive videos associate with each episode!
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
"Jingle Bells” Produced by Scott Holmes Music
Amber and Bailey dive back into the spine-chilling Warrenverse this week, tackling James Wan’s eerie follow-up to the 2013 horror sensation; The Conjuring 2. Bailey finds himself pondering the peculiar choices of the Hodgson residence, especially their insistence on keeping a decrepit, spooky sofa. What's the sinister secret behind its persistent stains, and does Bailey's claims of its sordid origins really hold any water? Amber, on the other hand, is ready to unleash her unfiltered frustrations on the so-called heroes of the story, questioning the motives that formed the foundations of their careers.
When they're not immersed in the supernatural, the duo shares their latest gym escapades, personal experiences with sleep paralysis, and their new winking tactic not all too dissimilar from that of a secret handshake.
Love the chaos? Come and be part of the Ctrl Alt Critique community over on Discord, and don't forget to follow us on Instagram for all the latest updates and behind-the-scenes fun.
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
“30-second Epic Trailer music” Produced by Cinematic Music
“Free News Intro” Produced by Free Motion Graphics Background Animation
“Pop Intro” Produced by Sounddotcom
“Positive Jingle” Produced by Sounddotcom
This week, Amber and Bailey delve into the captivating phenomenon of the UFO obsession that has intrigued millions over the years. Join them as they journey from ancient times to the modern day, exploring how tales of extraterrestrial encounters have evolved over the centuries. They ponder why humanity is so fascinated with the concept of life amongst the stars and how this obsession has influenced the media landscape over the decades.
Enjoy the show? Join the Ctrl Alt Critique family on Discord! We’re also on Instagram, so be sure to drop by and give us a follow.
Royalty free music Used in the episode:
Amber and Bailey hold the fort this week while Ad battles a case of the cursed shingles. Join the pair as they talk about all matters comedy: musing over the upcoming Scary Movie 6 project, what types of humor tickle their funny bones the most, their thoughts on the career of Ricky Gervais, Bailey’s take on How I Met Your Mother, and Amber’s favorite new hit TV comedy. Prepare for 50-plus minutes of chaos, ramblings, and insanity. Who’d have thought taking Ad out of the equation would cause such disarray to the dynamic.
Enjoying the nonsense? Get yourself over to our Discord and join the Critter community. Like the show? Then you’ll love our Instagram!
Royalty free music Used in the episode: