Conversations At The Crossroads - Episode 1 by Crossroads Recovery Centre

Have I ever sat down and wondered how the effects of addiction have manifested in me – physically and mentally? There may be a number of effects of addiction : apathy, a draining of internal resources, health, (for example diabetes), a lack of motivation, a lack of commitment, a lack of grit. Have I become socially withdrawn, introverted, emotionally numb, hypervigilant or distracted ? Am I unable to be present in my life ? What solutions have I looked at to manage the effects of my addiction ? Have I looked at Rational Emotive Therapy (RET), spiritual solutions, have I asked for help ? The best way to find a solution in these circumstances is to ask for help – seek guidance from someone who has walked this path successfully themselves. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. If you or anyone close to you needs help with an addiction to sex, gambling, substances, alcohol or food, please contact us for a free assessment. You may contact me directly or go to our site for more information: www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za 074 89 51043 JHB 012 450 5033 PTA

4. Self-centrredness How does the self-centred part of my disease affect my life and the lives of those around me? Selfishness, the centre of it all The cure for selfishness More concerned with my loss than a tual being Allowing the ebb & flow or what is real Am I giving because at some point I would like to receive? How unaware am I of the impact i have on others or more concerned with my hurt

Even when I try to do the right thing, I slip. Impulsive actions Thoughts that just pop into my consciousness Where does it come from Strange mental blank spot The Dis-ease

Where does obsession fit in? Am I constantly thinking about acting out in some way? Where can I get, how much, where can I steal a moment, how canbi have more that others and hide it Subtle thought processes running in background Do I find myself doing things I don't want to? Buy Looking at porn Overeating Am i unable to figure out why i do these things? Am I compelled by a force i cant comprehend Do i even have a clue where to begin?

Five Minute Contemplation: Do you ever think 'Why do I do the things I do'? Do you ever contemplate that 'driver' you have inside yourself and wonder what you can do about it? Maybe it's time to think about it?

Today we delve into Steven Pinker's book, Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress and look at the pace of how our civilization has evolved. We also revisit the Fermi Paradox, named after the Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi. It posits the contradiction between the lack of evidence for extraterrestrial civilizations elsewhere in the Milky Way galaxy and various high estimates for their probability. We draw an analogy between what it takes to create planetary life forms and what it takes to reach enlightenment for ourselves. What does it take to become truly aware of our circumstances in recovery and what does it take to maintain our perspective in our spiritual journey ? Why is it so rare for people to maintain sobriety after treatment ? I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get’ – Forrest Gump. Life is unpredictable. We can plan and prepare for things but we have no way of knowing that things will work out exactly as we planned. We need to have faith in the decisions we make and understand that what is meant to be will be. We need to take responsibility for our decisions and then trust that where we end up is exactly where we are meant to be. Forrest finds himself in a plethora of difficult circumstances, but he continues to do his best in everything he does, and in the end that is what made his life fulfilling. The Forrest Gump philosophy means : allowing life to just happen. At the same time, in order to trust our intuition, our perspective needs to remain clear at all times and this takes time and effort. The amount of effort we put into trying to clear our perspective, which has been clouded by substance abuse, can determine where our lives are going. Our perspective will not remain clear unless we work at it. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Things that start out with positive intentions to them, can turn into negative situations. Fasting can be highly beneficial for my physical health and my cognitive capabilities, however, there is a fine line between fasting and starving myself. Stress on our bodies and our minds is not always detrimental and yet people fear stress. It is in places of discomfort where change begins. How do I navigate the finer lines ? There are so many unquantifiable things in our lives. The concept of a Higher Power is difficult to define for many of people. How do you describe the colour green to a person who has never had sight ? How do I Walk the Line ? I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Most people are prisoners, thinking only about the future or living in the past. They are not in the present, and the present is where everything begins.” - Carlos Santana. Using the illustration of what it takes to play the guitar with skill, we look at what it takes to maintain sobriety. Recovery from addiction involves the learning of new skills and it takes commitment, dedication and many, many hours - and there will be parts of it that you will not enjoy. Acquiring a new skill means you are required to learn, you need to teach yourself and you need a feed-back mechanism in the form of a teacher or a coach or, in the case of recovering from addiction – a sponsor. In order to make progress, you will need to learn about your disease. You will need to make sure that you are not blindly repeating the same mistakes over again, and that you cannot do in isolation. I hope you enjoy the podcast. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Society needs laws, systems and structures in order to function effectively. In this podcast we take a look at artificial intelligence (AI) – where machines simulate human intelligence, (intelligence being defined as “the ability to benefit from past experience, act purposefully, solve problems, and adapt to new situations”) by using rules to reach approximate or definite conclusions. Computers can now create – but is what they “create” really art ? There is a “human element” that is also necessary when it comes to the application of rules within society. We need to find the balance between laws, formulas, systems etc. and humanity. We also take a look at the Hindu concepts of Karma, Dharma, Reincarnation and Moksha and how these ideas can relate to our lives as addicts. If your quest is to find balance within your life, take a listen. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

The most respected people in the Gulags and the concentration camps were the people who told the truth, regardless of the consequences to themselves. Are we, as addicts, capable of evaluating and drawing conclusions about what is truth and what is not and how does the way an individual defines the truth for themselves impact on their own community ? Do we only tell the truth when it is convenient to us ? Do we look for convenience in our lives or meaning ? If you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting the same results. The objective in recovery is to change. Changing myself means evaluating myself and my emotions truthfully. “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning . I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

If we take a scenario where people have the same talents, physical strength and intellectual abilities – there will still be people in that group who succeed and others who do not. What sets those people who succeed apart? What is it that makes some people capable of heroic, courageous acts? How are some people able to be constantly challenged and pushed past their limits and succeed towards the next step? How does one person obtain decades of sobriety and others battle to maintain sobriety over months and keep returning over years? How do we move from being a person who does not want to take responsibility or who has been unable to take responsibility, to one who can bear responsibility, after all there are far more things in life that create difficulties for us then there are things that are enjoyable to us. Perhaps it is the ability to decrease our ego’s and increase our consciousness. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Humans everywhere create and rely on concepts of time- ideas about the nature of time that allow us to make plans, share memories and discuss possible futures. How does our perception of time impact us and the decisions we make and the way we run our lives? Demonstrations of time dilation on the Space Shuttle proved that clocks ran slightly slower than reference clocks on Earth. Atomic clocks on satellites appear to run faster. In most cultures, time is expressed in spatial metaphors, but these expressions are not universal – they are products of our culture, language and environment. Many cultures express the future as being ahead of them, but for some cultures, it is expressed as being behind them. We don't really have a complete understanding of time and how it functions nor is our concept of time universal. Our understanding of time is based purely on our own experience of it on Earth. What does this mean for recovering addicts where for many of us, the past is where anger and resentment come from and the future is where fear and anxiety are based? We cannot suspend time nor dismiss it but learning to live in the moment helps us to cope. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

Recovery is not a short term goal, it is not quantifiable and is a life long goal. At some time in our lives we have been happy. Our active addiction results in our losing all of this : Paradise lost. Time has been lost,our active addiction has stolen from us. How do we “regain paradise”? How do we find our way out of the darkness? Fear of change is a natural human instinct, but how do we overcome this? How we respond is what differentiates the hero from the coward and that is what will assist us in maintaining our sobriety. “The hero and the coward both feel the same thing, but the hero uses his fear, projects it onto his opponent, while the coward runs. It's the same thing, fear, but it's what you do with it that matters." - Cus D'Amato” “A belief may be comforting. Only through your own experience, however, does it become liberating”.- Eckhart Tolle, “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

In 1784, the philosopher, Immanuel Kant described enlightenment as “humankind’s emergence from its self-incurred immaturity”, its “lazy and cowardly” submission to the “dogmas and formulas” of religious or political authority. Humans are innately emotional beings, made from what Kant referred to as the “crooked timber of humanity”, combined with which the way we understand the world around us changes over time. Elements such as cognitive bias can evade our personal awareness and we can be convinced that we’re seeing clearly, and thinking rationally, when we’re not. We still embrace or reject evidence too easily, but civil contact with people of different perspectives can keep the resulting distortions within bounds. Our interpretation of reality, our reason and our intellect needs to be tested at times with the guidance of another which often takes courage. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“You are the maker of the dream … Whatever you put into the dream must be what is in you.” - Fritz Perls. There is little doubt that your dreams can impact the type of day that you are going to have. Dreams can indeed be very significant. Dmitri Mendeleev came up with the idea for the periodic table in a dream. Paul McCartney woke up with a tune in his head and thought, 'That’s great, I wonder what that is?' and began to write down the music for what became “Yesterday” a song which resonates with us 50 years later. But when do we assign meaning to our dreams ? Are dreams not just an experience and should we not just experience the experience? Or, can dreams be used to understand what is going on inside ourselves ? How does our day-dreaming affect our conscious lives ? Are you a slave to your unconscious thinking ? Is it possible to leverage dreams to help you with your life ? We consider these questions and take a brief look at what Freud, Jung and the Gestalt theorists had to say about dream theory. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

“Later I also learned to go into that inner timeless and deathless realm that I have originally perceived as a void and remain fully conscious.” The Power of Now : A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment – Eckhart Tolle. If success depends on how well I handle transition from one set of circumstances to the next, what does it take to cope with transition ? How do I manage the external stressors within my life and those aspects of personal malevolence within myself ? When I fail to take responsibility for myself, drama begins to creep into my life but continuously taking responsibility requires sustained effort. Managing transition periods results in personal evolution. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

How do we reach a shift in consciousness within ourselves ? What does it take for this to occur ? Is it an external event or an internal event ? What does finding enlightenment for yourself have in common with the birth of the universe and the possibility of there being life on other planets ? Both are rare events. Drawing an analogy between what it takes to create planetary life forms and what it takes to reach enlightenment for ourselves, we take a journey through the Fermi Paradox, the Boltzmann Brain Theory, cataclysmic events and Eckhart Tolle's book “The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment “ – to try and answer some of these questions. Quotes : “Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realise that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.” - Eckhart Tolle. “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain is freedom, salvation, enlightenment” - Eckhart Tolle. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg

How do we process the information around us and what effect does this information have on us ? In our addiction, where we influenced by the people around us which led to us making poor choices? We were the villain in our lives influenced by the thinking and behaviour of other villains. This is not an uncommon phenomenon, the theory has been tested again and again in such things as the Milgram experiment and the Nuremberg Trials and in South Africa with the Truth and Reconciliation Commission – it is human nature to be influenced by those around us. Not many of us have the courage to stand up in the face of tyranny and to those around us, even though sometimes we are aware that what we are doing is wrong or that it goes against our personal value systems and code of ethics. Few people have the courage to be a hero – to be “The Tank Man” of the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989. Just because we get clean and sober – does our behaviour change ? Can we become The Hero in our own lives ? "A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell. I hope you enjoy this podcast as much as I enjoyed the discussion. This podcast was recorded as a series of lectures given to people in 12 step addiction recovery treatment. The purpose of these talks was to teach and motivate individuals to search for their own spiritual solution to their addiction. Please feel free to contact me directly or go to our site for more information: dominic@crrc.co.za www.crossroadsrecovery.co.za +27 012 345 1186 Pretoria +27 010 597 7784 Johannesburg