Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome your pornography use? Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornography – https://stopporn.info/    Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes? Email me here:  sam@healingcouples.org   Episode show notes: Today we dive deep into the real reason men relapse when sexual energy builds — and it’s not just about willpower. If you've been battling porn addiction, you’ve likely tried to resist, suppress, and distract yourself every time an urge to watch porn surfaces. But what if that strategy is actually setting you up to fail? This episode uncovers why the common “dam approach” — where you try to hold back your sexual urges through deprivation — often leads to more pressure, anxiety, and eventual porn relapses. Instead, we explore two proven frameworks that help men break free from the binge/guilt/shame cycle and experience long-term porn addiction recovery. We tell the story of two men: One who used pornography to escape emotional pain like shame, rejection, and loneliness... And one who faced habitual urges and sexual energy late at night, even after he had removed his triggers... Both learned how to stop using porn as a coping mechanism and finally felt in control again. In this episode, you'll learn:    Why deprivation often causes anxiety and increases the risk of porn relapses    How to understand what’s really driving your urge to watch porn — emotional pain vs. physical arousal     How to use mindfulness and redirection to handle urges without suppression or shame     A question that instantly grounds you when you're triggered: “What else in my environment is interesting right now?”    How to finally stop the cycle of white-knuckling, slipping, and starting over again This episode is for you if you want to: Quit porn for good Overcome habitual porn use Break free from compulsive sexual behaviors Stop relapse before it happens Build emotional and mental tools to master their porn recovery journey If you're ready to stop fighting against your urges and finally start understanding and resolving them at the root, this episode will give you the clarity and tools you’ve been missing.