When Patrick Patrick Kitana Ettenes bluntly told his father "I suck dick, daddy" at 15 years old, it marked just one turning point in a life brimming with extraordinary challenges and triumphs. Born in Barbados in 1983 to a Dutch father and Trinidadian mother, Patrick's childhood was a paradox of privilege and pain—his father's high-profile security work with prime ministers and diplomats couldn't shield him from relentless bullying due to his feminine expression. Patrick's shocking classroo...

What happens when you've spent nearly seven decades hiding your true self? Wendy Cole's story is a testament to courage, resilience, and the transformative power of authenticity. Born in the late 1940s, Wendy knew from age three that she was a girl, despite being assigned male at birth. At ten years old, she bravely dressed in her mother's clothes and declared her truth—only to face threats of psychiatric commitment in 1950s America. Her journey took another painful turn in the 1970s when a ...

Welcome back to Coming Out Stories after our six-month hiatus! As our seventh year begins, there have been moments when giving up seemed tempting. But looking at the increasingly hostile world around us, it's clear that now is precisely the time these stories need to be heard. Season Six arrives during a critical period for LGBTQ+ communities worldwide. Here in the UK, the Supreme Court recently ruled that gender is defined by biological sex rather than gender identity, effectively undermini...

How do you stay true to yourself when both society and your own family won't accept you?Kuchenga Shenje is a remarkable trans woman, writer, and journalist, who first understood her true gender identity at just three years old.Kuchenga's story is one of resilience and spiritual strength. Her childhood experiences shed light on the challenges trans folk face in a gender-normative environment and she shares the solace she found in trans representation on 90s talk shows. Kuchenga's story is a po...

In this episode, meet the hugely successful author Simon James Green.Simon writes books for a YA audience that include vital representation for LGBTQ+ teens. This has led to his books being vilified and even banned. Simon talks about growing up gay in the UK in the shadow of Clause 28, a time when being true to oneself seemed nearly impossible. Simon recounts his personal journey of gradual self-revelation—a roadmap marked by subtle hints and professional exp...

Imagine growing up wanting a Barbie doll but feeling afraid to ask for it.In this episode, award-winning author Dean Atta, shares his poignant journey of self-discovery and the courageous story of coming out at 15. Dean reveals the trials and triumphs of navigating childhood and adolescence as a queer individual, offering a heartfelt reflection on his first crush and the strength he found within himself amidst rejection and misunderstanding.Dean talks about the challenges of coming out within...

What does it mean to grow up LGBTQ+ in a conservative environment? Jordan Gonsalves is a podcaster and journalist from New York, who shares his deeply personal journey of understanding his sexuality in the conservative suburbs of Houston, Texas. Jordan's reflections on childhood bullying, societal pressures, and the early realization of being different paint a vivid picture of the struggles many LGBTQ+ individuals face during their formative years.Growing up within a devout Catholic family, t...

What does it take to come out after 55 years of hiding your true self? Kevin O'Connor, an author and a gay man found the courage to embrace his identity after decades of living a different life. In this episode, you’ll hear Kevin's reflections on his early inklings of being gay in the 1960s, his struggles with authenticity, and the pivotal moment when his youngest son came out at 16, prompting Kevin to finally confront his own buried feelings. This episode delves into the complexities of comi...

Happy Pride Month!Today's episode comes from brilliant children's author Robert TregoningRobert shares his journey from a rural village in County Durham, through the turbulence of the '80s and '90s, to becoming an advocate for authenticity and self-expression. From childhood memories of defying gender norms to finding solace in understanding friends, we uncover the impact of societal expectations on his formative years. We also get a sneak peek into his new book, "A Fairy Called Fred," and he...

Ben Green grew up trans in a small Connecticut town.Now an activist and author of "My Child is Trans: Now What?" Ben reflects on just how different his childhood was to his sister's as he tried to navigate the complexities of gender identity without any trans role models.This story explores the profound impact that representation—or the lack thereof—can have on a young person's journey to self-discovery and authenticity.From the supportive embrace for his bisexuality, partly due to shows like...

Imagine embarking on a voyage of self-discovery that doesn't truly begin until the age of 40. That's the reality for Jenny, a trans woman with a tale that unfolds with laughter, adversity, and, above all, authenticity. As she reminisces about her childhood in Woking and the challenges of expressing her true identity pre-internet, Jenny's experiences from makeshift gender expression at home to her eventual powerful coming out in Manchester shine a light on the journey many in the trans c...

Imagine the courage it takes to forge a path as a black queer woman in a world where your identity intersects with a rich tapestry of culture, tradition, and belief systems. This is the life of Anna DeShawn, a social entrepreneur from Chicago. who came out in a religious household and went on to create spaces where queer voices can echo and resonate.In an intimate exchange, Anna and Emma navigate the complexities of family acceptance in the black community, revealing both the struggles ...

From his first inklings of being different at a summer camp, to the seismic shift that occurred when he saw real gay representation in corporate America, Michael's journey is one of struggle, resilience, and triumph in the face of adversity. Michael's story not only peels back the layers of his own coming out journey, but also addresses the emotional challenges that often linger beneath the surface of the LGBTQ+ community in a city known for its progressiveness, New York City.Michael&n...

Remember that gut-punch moment when everything you thought you knew about yourself was turned on its head? That's where Kirsty Loehr found herself at 16, blindsided by the realisation that her sexuality wasn't what she'd always assumed...In this episode, meet Kirsty, author of "A Short History of Queer Women," and hear her journey of self-discovery against the backdrop of a Manchester council estate. This episode peels back the layers of what it means to come to terms with one's queer i...

Moe Ari Brown, was born into a working-class, religious family and raised on the South side of Chicago amid the Black church's rich traditions. Moe felt invisible during their youth but at college, they had an epiphany – that gender identity and sexuality are not fixed points but vibrant spectrums.As a relationship therapist and guide, Moe's insights are not only personal milestones but also lighthouses for others on similar journeys, from their bisexual awakening to the discovery...

Growing up in Peterborough, in the centre of England, Arthur's story tells of the intimate struggles of growing up with a gender identity that defies societal norms.With insights into the complexity of coming out to loved ones when you're trans, the battles fought within gender clinics, and the ongoing need for visibility and support for trans youth, this episode is a celebration of the trans community as they face very difficult times.This episode also celebrates TRUK United FC—the saf...

Imagine discovering your true self at a time where even the word "transgender" was seldom whispered, then fast-forward to seeing that reality reflected on national TV!Annie Wallace, a pioneering trans soap actress, takes us through her life, from her earliest memories of gender identity struggles, to life in Aberdeen's first gay bar, and the bullying endured by those who dared to be different, through her influential role behind the scenes of beloved TV characters like "Coronation...

Gary's story is proof that life does indeed begin at 40!Gary's journey through marriage, heartbreaks, and eventual joy in finding deep love will bring a real smile to your face.Presented by Emma Goswell Produced by Sam Walker We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now! JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Ama...

As the curtain closes on our 2023 series, we bring you the incredible story of Ann!Beginning in Liverpool in the late 50s and early 60s – a time when innocence mingled with confusion in the absence of visible LGBTQ+ role models, Ann's tale then takes us through the swinging 60s of London, the rigid discipline of army life, and into the heart of personal discovery and selfless, passionate activism.Anne's story reveals not just her struggles and triumphs but also the landscape of a ...

Verity Smith is a trans gay man who is passionate about playing wheelchair rugby.After first coming out as a lesbian in the 90s, Verity played women's rugby and was too afraid to come out as trans, as there were no policies in place for trans players in the game and he would have had to give up the sport he loved.He did eventually come out and was faced with a barrage of transphobia and discrimination. After a devastating injury incurred on the pitch, Verity ended up in a wheelcha...