If you’ve ever caught yourself silently grading a partner, colleague, or co-parent on how well they follow your unwritten rules, you’re not alone. We call it “the manual”—that invisible rulebook that promises safety but delivers resentment and exhaustion. In this episode, we unpack why high-achievers default to managing other people’s behavior, how that erodes trust (and your energy), and what it looks like to lead with clean boundaries instead. You’ll practice shifting from policing to self-ownership, so you can say less, do less, and mean more—without abandoning your standards or your self-respect.
You’ll learn:
How to spot your hidden “manual” and the telltale signs it’s running the show
A simple boundary formula that centers your behavior, not their compliance
The difference between care, control, and coercion—and why it matters for intimacy and leadershipA quick self-coaching loop to interrupt people-pleasing and over-explaining in real time
One tiny experiment to trade perfection for consistency this week
Want help with your real life? Join the 90‑Day Mastermind: six live coaching workshops, audio mini‑lessons to your phone, and a private community of high‑achieving women. We’ll run your exact scenario through the model and stack weekly 10% wins until you feel 100% more you. I’m inviting five to ten women.
Here’s the link: https://www.choosebetterthoughts.com/coachingprogram
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