When you were deep in people-pleasing and perfectionism, the urge was to control. You controlled your tone, your timing, your calendar, your image. You got good at managing how others experienced you. And for a while, it worked. But once you stop performing and start telling the truth, a new urge can show up, the urge to escape. Not because your life is falling apart, but because it was built around a version of you who no longer exists.
This episode is about what happens after the unlearning. When you’re no longer shape-shifting to stay safe, but you still feel trapped inside the choices you made from that old version of you. It’s the part no one talks about: when freedom doesn’t feel freeing yet. We’ll talk about how to recognize the trap, how to understand the urge to escape, and how to stay with yourself long enough to let something new emerge. Not through fixing or burning it all down, but through honesty, presence, and slow return.
What You Will Learn
Why the urge to escape often shows up after you stop controlling everything.
How people-pleasing and perfectionism can shape your entire life, not just your behavior.
What makes this phase feel disorienting, even when nothing is “wrong.”
How to stay with the urge to escape without burning it all down.
Why naming what no longer fits is more powerful than fixing it.
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