On the day of my mother’s funeral, I remember sitting in the back seat of our car, pulling into the parking lot where the service was going to be held, and seeing two old friends of mine from elementary school walking inside. I was 15 at the time. It had never occurred to me that they would miss school to be there for me. This simple act of support meant more to me than they will ever know.
Fast-forward about 20 or so years to the day my daughter got sent home from school with head lice. My friend showed up at my door unexpectedly and spent hours with me, helping to wash all the sheets and clothing, and keeping me tethered in my then-frantic state. These acts of kindness are indelible in my mind, and their power is immeasurable.
It turns out that the value of small and random acts of kindness is greatly underestimated by the one doing the kind act, and in fact, the person receiving the kindness is far more positively impacted than the doer imagines. This was explored in a series of research studies reported in the Journal of Experimental Psychology. In one study, participants at an ice-skating rink who were given hot chocolate had the opportunity to give away their cups to a stranger. When asked to rate what they thought the impact of this would be on the recipient, it turned out to be far lower than what the recipient actually reported.