Chaos to Connected - Helping Parents Navigate Challenging Behavior with Connection; Christian moms, behavior management, posi
Kaili Zeiher
156 episodes
4 months ago
Are you tired of struggling to figure out what to do about your child’s behavior? Do you feel exhausted and frustrated trying to manage your own triggers while at the same time trying to calm your child down and feel like nothing is working? Do you feel guilty after losing your cool 15 minutes into a tantrum and wonder if you’re doing this whole motherhood thing right? Are you wishing there was something that would just work consistently to get your child to listen?
Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist and momma to 2 energetic boys and I’m so grateful you are here! I remember what it felt like to struggle with my son’s aggressive behavior. I felt alone. I felt like no one else I knew was going through the same things or could understand what I was going through. And I had no idea what to do. I tried everything I could think of but nothing really seemed to work or that stuck anyway.
Feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted, like I was at the end of my rope, I found Hand in Hand parenting and I completely fell in love with the approach. It was everything I had ever dreamed motherhood would be about; training my child in a way that actually felt good and didn’t require rewards and punishments to obey and respect my authority. Plus, it focused on what the child’s behavior actually meant! Resolving things at a root cause level. What could be better than that??
Needless to say, I was hooked and after implementing the different connection focused strategies I saw more transformation than I ever thought possible. But not just in my son’s behavior, in my ability to remain calm through it all and my confidence in the approach I had chosen. No more comparison or worry of judgment. I knew this was the right path.
I wanted to make sure other moms out there who were struggling just like I was, had access to this information so I completed a professionals intensive training in Hand in Hand parenting and started sharing it.
Inside this podcast you will find tips, strategies, and perspective shifts to manage your child’s behavior as well as your triggers, and a constant shove outside the mainstream recommendations to utilize manipulation to change your child’s behavior. We are going to dive deep into how to implement CONNECTION, a vital necessity that the world wants to make us believe our children don’t actually need.
This is the game-changing, missing link and I’m going to give you tangible steps on how to incorporate it into your daily routines and in those extra challenging moments so your home doesn’t feel like a stressful and chaotic place but rather one where feelings are welcomed, behavior is understood as communication, and joy abounds.
So get comfy, I know you need a minute to take a rest after all you’ve been doing today, and join me as we jump into managing behaviors through connection!
XO Kaili
Connect with me: kjzeiher@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/?hl=en
Free special time e-book: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/60b1c137e49f36620e6bc925
Behavior Blueprint 1:1 coaching: https://view.flodesk.com/emails/62c479aee3f481bcc48af99d
Chaos to Calm course waitlist: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8
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Are you tired of struggling to figure out what to do about your child’s behavior? Do you feel exhausted and frustrated trying to manage your own triggers while at the same time trying to calm your child down and feel like nothing is working? Do you feel guilty after losing your cool 15 minutes into a tantrum and wonder if you’re doing this whole motherhood thing right? Are you wishing there was something that would just work consistently to get your child to listen?
Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist and momma to 2 energetic boys and I’m so grateful you are here! I remember what it felt like to struggle with my son’s aggressive behavior. I felt alone. I felt like no one else I knew was going through the same things or could understand what I was going through. And I had no idea what to do. I tried everything I could think of but nothing really seemed to work or that stuck anyway.
Feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted, like I was at the end of my rope, I found Hand in Hand parenting and I completely fell in love with the approach. It was everything I had ever dreamed motherhood would be about; training my child in a way that actually felt good and didn’t require rewards and punishments to obey and respect my authority. Plus, it focused on what the child’s behavior actually meant! Resolving things at a root cause level. What could be better than that??
Needless to say, I was hooked and after implementing the different connection focused strategies I saw more transformation than I ever thought possible. But not just in my son’s behavior, in my ability to remain calm through it all and my confidence in the approach I had chosen. No more comparison or worry of judgment. I knew this was the right path.
I wanted to make sure other moms out there who were struggling just like I was, had access to this information so I completed a professionals intensive training in Hand in Hand parenting and started sharing it.
Inside this podcast you will find tips, strategies, and perspective shifts to manage your child’s behavior as well as your triggers, and a constant shove outside the mainstream recommendations to utilize manipulation to change your child’s behavior. We are going to dive deep into how to implement CONNECTION, a vital necessity that the world wants to make us believe our children don’t actually need.
This is the game-changing, missing link and I’m going to give you tangible steps on how to incorporate it into your daily routines and in those extra challenging moments so your home doesn’t feel like a stressful and chaotic place but rather one where feelings are welcomed, behavior is understood as communication, and joy abounds.
So get comfy, I know you need a minute to take a rest after all you’ve been doing today, and join me as we jump into managing behaviors through connection!
XO Kaili
Connect with me: kjzeiher@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/?hl=en
Free special time e-book: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/60b1c137e49f36620e6bc925
Behavior Blueprint 1:1 coaching: https://view.flodesk.com/emails/62c479aee3f481bcc48af99d
Chaos to Calm course waitlist: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8
I have been really deeply reflecting on my more challenging parenting days lately and even thinking back to when I was really struggling with my oldest to determine what is one of the main contributing factors to both. And what I've discovered is that in both instances I have had expectations that went unmet.
These expectations weren't inappropriate or unrealistic for my child's age, however, it was unattainable at the place we were currently at.
Today, I share the #1 way you can assess if your expectations are aligning with your child's current skill level/ability and if not, what you can do about it.
Special Time Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000550595812
1:1 coaching options, free resources, and courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me through email hello@kailizcoaching.com
or by DM'ing me on IG @kaili.zeiher
Podcasts are such a wonderful, free tool to utilize for ourselves as we are trying to learn different skills or information, but it is also a great option for our kids too! Sometimes it can be hard to make sure that the information and words are kids are hearing are appropriate and fruitful so today, I wanted to share some podcasts that my kids LOVE. They enjoy listening to podcasts during quiet time, when they just need some space and/or when they are doing some quieter play like puzzles or playdoh.
Here are some of our favorites:
1. Tiny Theologians: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tiny-theologians/id1703635148
2. VeggieTales: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/veggietales-very-veggie-silly-stories/id1624715532
3. Real Cool History for Kids: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/real-cool-history-for-kids/id1470873097
4. Car Ride Stories for Gigi Kids: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/car-ride-stories-for-gigi-kids-bible-and-christian/id1380554029
5. Nat Theo: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nat-theo-nature-lessons-rooted-in-the-bible/id1679872468
6. Backseat Bible Nuggets: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/backseat-bible-nuggets/id1573752728
If you have any that you and your kids enjoy, I would love if you would share them with me!
email: hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG: @kaili.zeiher
I've shared my personal and professional recommendation not to use sticker/reward charts on a previous episode, but today I wanted to chat more about rewards. In this episode, we discuss:
*bribes vs rewards
*why I don't use bribes
*how I use rewards (with examples)
*how to utilize age/child appropriate expectations to decrease needing to rely on bribery or consequences to get the desired behavior
Ep 59: Have you ever wondered if a sticker chart would help "fix" your child's behavior? 4 reasons why I believe they are unnecessary and ineffective...https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000583017029
1:1 coaching options, free resources, and courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me through email hello@kailizcoaching.com
or by DM'ing me on IG @kaili.zeiher
Today, I wanted to ask you a simple question to get you thinking about where you are going to for advice and guidance first. Coaches, teachers, podcasts, books, are all great resources, but there's only One who knows exactly what you need and can guide you in the direction that's best for you and your family. I hope this message blesses you!
Connect with me via email: hello@kailizcoaching.com
or DM me over on IG @kaili.zeiher
I am a part of a few business broadcast channels on IG and I got a message a couple weeks ago talking about the bare minimum or baseline standard for what you would do each day to keep your business moving forward, for establishing a consistent foundation. I thought this was also really pertinent to managing triggers...
‘if you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve." Anthony Robbins
Today, I share what a baseline standard for trigger management might look like and give you some examples of how to create your own to help create a stronger foundation for maintaining your control during heated situations.
If you want to get more help with triggers, check out my Regulation Reboot class starting next week: https://stan.store/KJZ112815/p/mommy-management
Connect with me through email hello@kailizcoaching.com
or by DM'ing me on IG @kaili.zeiher
While this way of parenting has been completely transformative for me and my family in SO many ways, that doesn't mean it has always come easy. Sometimes the challenges we face can make us question if this way is really the best way. It can also be discouraging if we aren't seeing the results we are expecting at the rate at which we are expecting them.
Today, I wanted to share 5 pieces of advice I have, after practicing this style of parenting DAILY for 3 years in hopes it can be an encouragement to any mom (dad, caregiver, etc) who is either just starting or who has fallen off and wants to get back into it.
If you have any other things you'd add, I'd love if you'd share!
You can share by emailing me hello@kailizcoaching.com
or by DM'ing me on IG @kaili.zeiher
Check out the 4 part webinar coming in November to help you identify, manage, and resolve your triggers! Details here: https://stan.store/KJZ112815/p/mommy-management
I'm guessing you've heard people talk about and maybe even felt like you've lost yourself in motherhood. And while there can definitely be truth to that, today I want to share the perspective that we actually don't lose ourselves in motherhood. Instead, it can be the exact place where we find who we were created to be.
1:1 Coaching, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Don't forget to get my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behavior course (currently $197) for FREE!! Here's what to do: leave a rating and review, screenshot it and email it to hello@kailizcoaching.com. That's it!
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Most of the time we address the behavior we see; it's much easier and honestly, just comes naturally.
However, if we really want to see behavior shifts we need to get to the deeper rooted issue and find out what is really going on at a heart level so we can make consistent change.
Today, I wanted to share with you a question framework that will help you do this with your child, no matter the age! Well, they do have to have fairly good communication skills.
https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/
(click on the post that says "notice your nervous system start to calm")
1:1 Coaching, Ask Your Question, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Don't forget to get my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behavior course (currently $197) for FREE!! Here's what to do: leave a rating and review, screenshot it and email it to hello@kailizcoaching.com. That's it!
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Last weekend in church the pastor was talking about the 5th commandment: Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
He prompted us as parents to reflect on what we are commanding (or instructing) our kids....is it because the behavior truly needs to be corrected, a heart issue, or is it because we are getting frustrated or annoyed?
1:1 Coaching 50% off in preparation for the holidays!! [October 17th, 2024 - October 21st, 2024!!] DM or email me to take advantage!
1:1 Coaching, Ask Your Question, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Do you have a child who cries frequently or who will go through days where he/she starts and stops all day long?? Then this is the episode for you!
Tune in as we chat through my favorite listening tool: Stay Listening
1:1 Coaching 50% off in preparation for the holidays!! [October 17th, 2024 - October 21st, 2024!!] DM or email me to take advantage!
Get the free step by step guide to Stay Listening here: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/nyew59ydnf
Episode 20: Are you really ok with the crying? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000565110255
Episode 55: “I don’t want to mess up my kids.” https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000581529227
1:1 Coaching, Ask Your Question, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Faith and my spiritual growth has a lot to do with how I am able to consistently incorporate this style of parenting. One of the things that has bothered me most is seeing christian influencers on IG share how this way of parenting is unbiblical. And while they, of course, are entitled to their own opinion, I think most often they don't truly understand what is behind. this way of parenting.
I have had a lot of feedback thanking me for sharing this unpopular opinion because others are feeling it too. I've also worked with several families struggling to know how faith and connected/gentle parenting all work together. So I thought it was time to create a new series on the podcast called Friday Fruit. I am going to share my personal experience with faith and parenting. **Reminder, I am not a theologian and I do not have any biblical degree. I'm just a mom who wants her kids to grow up knowing and loving the Lord all while trying my best to glorify Him in the process.
This week's episode is brought to you by Matthew 7:3
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
1:1 Coaching, Ask Your Question, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Do you ever find yourself struggling with your mood? Like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed? Or the day started off well but then you got triggered by something your child did or said?
You want to shift back into fun, joyful, playful, connection but it just feels hard...maybe even impossible.
Today, I share 5 simple ways you can create that shift AND do it with your kids - I don't know about you but I don't often have the opportunity to just have a lengthy break or leave the house on my own - and honestly, it's more fun with your kids included too!
Dance party button: https://30sdp.com/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAkKqsBhC3ARIsAEEjuJhvVjtdyQh31a8YFx_2J5X3PSAx_Vxfkp6vHHmsd2NlQ-JzmjnXXvwaAvdrEALw_wcB
1:1 Coaching, Ask Your Question, Courses: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Connect with me here:
Email - hello@kailizcoaching.com
IG - @kaili.zeiher
Today, I thought it would be fun to share with you a little peek into my parenting.
Spoiler alert! No matter how much someone is trained, practices what they teach, knows their stuff, etc, etc they are STILL human and the STILL need to make shifts and adjustments. That is what I want to share with you today. Some of my personal experience with a nagging behavior that has been happening here and the 3 steps I take to make changes when needed.
Don't forget to get my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behavior course (currently $197) for FREE!! Here's what to do: leave a rating and review, screenshot it and email it to hello@kailizcoaching.com. That's it!
I'd love to hear from you and connect! Email me and let's chat! hello@kailizcoaching.com
For more info re: 1:1 coaching options on a budget and other ways to receive support, click here: https://stan.store/KJZ112815.
Don't forget to get my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behavior course (currently $197) for FREE!! Here's what to do: leave a rating and review, screenshot it and email it to hello@kailizcoaching.com. That's it!
Do you ever struggle with what you should say to your child? Maybe it's during a meltdown or a difficult situation and you want your child to feel heard and validated.
Have you seen the posts all over IG and FB telling you what to say when...?
Today, I'm here to tell you while it can feel like a good starting point, you don't need any scripts because:
1. You likely won't remember them anyway
2. There won't be a post/script about every situation you encounter.
Tune in to hear how you can use this one simple strategy, conversation, to determine what the "right" thing to say is for whatever situation, scenario, or behavior you encounter!
I'd love to hear from you and connect! Email me and let's chat! hello@kailizcoaching.com
For more info re: 1:1 coaching options on a budget and other ways to receive support, click here: https://stan.store/KJZ112815.
Hey there, I'm so excited to announce that the Chaos to Connected podcast is coming back!!!
I took a break about 6 months ago and had no idea whether I'd be back or not, but I'm making some big pivots and wanted to share them with you today.
New episodes will begin airing in September when I re-launch, but in the meantime I would LOVE to hear from you! What questions do you have? What topics do you want to deep dive into? What's your biggest struggle right now?
I also wanted to do something fun before episodes resume; if you write a review over on apple podcasts, take a screen shot and send it to me (hello@kailizcoaching.com) I am going to send you my Chaos to Calm: Conquering Aggressive Behaviors course for FREE! (currently $197)
This course dives into why physical behaviors are actually occurring, gives you a step by step guide on what to actually do about them, and FAQs that families have consistently asked me to help you even more!
And you can, of course, binge past episodes.
I'm going to be doing some extra fun things inside of my emails too because I really want to be able to create more community and a place where you feel safe and seen. So if you'd like to subscribe and get weekly insights, encouragement reminders, AND bonus sneak peaks/mini coaching insights and be the first to actually hear the podcasts each week, you can do so here: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/cvuin24b94
For more info re: 1:1 coaching options on a budget and other ways to receive support, click here: https://stan.store/KJZ112815.
I can't wait to be back each week walking this motherhood journey with you!
XO
Kaili
It can be really easy, especially when you are parenting a child who is struggling with behavior or lots of strong emotions, to forget that your child is just a mini version of you. While life experience and higher level executive functioning skills aren't the same, the way the brain processes and responds to hurts is.
It can be easy to forget this when you are triggered from behavior so today, I want to share how parents/caregivers are more like their child than not.
Ep on Apologizing: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chaos-to-connected-helping-parents-navigate-challenging/id1609008872?i=1000613660033
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
One of the most common questions I get asked is what types of deep input activities I would recommend for a child who acts or plays aggressively (hitting, kicking, throwing, etc). Previously, I would go into detail on how to incorporate into a sensory diet, but now, through additional training and experience I recognize that this alone isn't the answer.
Today, I share how sensory processing works and how to bridge the gap effectively AND efficiently between the behaviors you are seeing and improved regulation!
*If you have any questions as to if your child has a true sensory processing disorder, email me or seek out a local OT for assessment.
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
If you're a mom to more than one child you've probably experienced one child's excitement over a birthday while another child was less than happy about it. Having to wait for all of the attention and presents can be a big challenge for kids and it does matter how you handle it.
If you are someone that gets the other child a present too or you wonder if that's the "right" thing to do, I wanted to shed some connection focused perspective light on the situation!
Tame Your Triggers Masterclass: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/mju18pgf63
Do you want help managing your triggers in the heat of the moment: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/r49k9ws9dp
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Do you ever feel like the attitudes, the whining, and the fighting sometimes just really over take your entire home?
That's how I felt 2 weeks ago. I decided something needed to change and I discovered ONE thing that makes all the difference.
We moved from constant sibling fighting, frequent whining, hitting/kicking/pinching to try and solve problems, and me feeling a lot of annoyance, anger, and frequently triggered to so much peace, more self control and regulation, and best of all more fun and enjoyment just being together!
Today I dive into what changed and how you can replicate it in your home too!
Do you want help managing your triggers in the heat of the moment: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/r49k9ws9dp
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Last week, I asked what was the hardest thing about connection focused parenting; one of the responses I received was that when feeling exhausted it was especially hard to try to respond to behaviors positively or with connection.
I. Hear. That.!!!
Today, I wanted to share what to do if you're finding yourself in this same situation...and you might be surprised by my recommendation!
If this episode, or any episode you've previously listened to you has blessed or helped you, would you be willing to go and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts? I know mommas all over the world are searching for tangible, simple strategies to help improve behavior without using punishments, rewards, and manipulation to achieve it. Your willingness to take a minute to share will help other mommas find this information easier!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/ or kjzeiher@gmail.com.
XO
Kaili
Chaos to Connected - Helping Parents Navigate Challenging Behavior with Connection; Christian moms, behavior management, posi
Are you tired of struggling to figure out what to do about your child’s behavior? Do you feel exhausted and frustrated trying to manage your own triggers while at the same time trying to calm your child down and feel like nothing is working? Do you feel guilty after losing your cool 15 minutes into a tantrum and wonder if you’re doing this whole motherhood thing right? Are you wishing there was something that would just work consistently to get your child to listen?
Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist and momma to 2 energetic boys and I’m so grateful you are here! I remember what it felt like to struggle with my son’s aggressive behavior. I felt alone. I felt like no one else I knew was going through the same things or could understand what I was going through. And I had no idea what to do. I tried everything I could think of but nothing really seemed to work or that stuck anyway.
Feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted, like I was at the end of my rope, I found Hand in Hand parenting and I completely fell in love with the approach. It was everything I had ever dreamed motherhood would be about; training my child in a way that actually felt good and didn’t require rewards and punishments to obey and respect my authority. Plus, it focused on what the child’s behavior actually meant! Resolving things at a root cause level. What could be better than that??
Needless to say, I was hooked and after implementing the different connection focused strategies I saw more transformation than I ever thought possible. But not just in my son’s behavior, in my ability to remain calm through it all and my confidence in the approach I had chosen. No more comparison or worry of judgment. I knew this was the right path.
I wanted to make sure other moms out there who were struggling just like I was, had access to this information so I completed a professionals intensive training in Hand in Hand parenting and started sharing it.
Inside this podcast you will find tips, strategies, and perspective shifts to manage your child’s behavior as well as your triggers, and a constant shove outside the mainstream recommendations to utilize manipulation to change your child’s behavior. We are going to dive deep into how to implement CONNECTION, a vital necessity that the world wants to make us believe our children don’t actually need.
This is the game-changing, missing link and I’m going to give you tangible steps on how to incorporate it into your daily routines and in those extra challenging moments so your home doesn’t feel like a stressful and chaotic place but rather one where feelings are welcomed, behavior is understood as communication, and joy abounds.
So get comfy, I know you need a minute to take a rest after all you’ve been doing today, and join me as we jump into managing behaviors through connection!
XO Kaili
Connect with me: kjzeiher@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/?hl=en
Free special time e-book: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/60b1c137e49f36620e6bc925
Behavior Blueprint 1:1 coaching: https://view.flodesk.com/emails/62c479aee3f481bcc48af99d
Chaos to Calm course waitlist: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/621850e5a41d78f73c5012d8