Episode Summary
Who do we believe when someone says they’ve been harmed — and why?
In this episode of Taking Back Control, host Alyssa Toledo introduces BWJP Staff Attorney Rachel Barkley, who unpacks two interconnected ideas that shape how survivors are treated by our culture and our courts: The Perfect Victim Archetype and The Credibility Discount.
From Nils Christie’s “Ideal Victim” theory to modern-day media narratives, Rachel explores how bias, privilege, and trauma misunderstanding combine to determine who is seen as believable. Through two high-profile cases — Cassie Ventura’s lawsuit against Sean “Diddy” Combs and Amber Heard’s defamation trial with Johnny Depp — she illustrates how survivors who don’t fit the “perfect” mold are too often dismissed, doubted, or punished.
Together, Alyssa and Rachel examine how challenging these myths can create space for systemic change, media literacy, and real accountability within the legal landscape.
Resources & References
What These Cases of High-Profile Accusers Reveal About the Credibility Gap — bwjp.org
DARVO, Misogyny, and the Myth of the Perfect Victim
Victim Blaming (Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime)
Sanctuary for Families: DARVO and the Perfect Victim
Related podcast: Women & Crime: Cassie Ventura
Amber Heard & The Myth of the Perfect Victim (YouTube)
In this special episode of Taking Back Control, host Alyssa Toledo sits down with two visionary leaders—Amy Sánchez, CEO of BWJP, and Cheryl Thomas, Founder and Executive Director of Global Rights for Women (GRW)—to discuss the landmark merger between their organizations.
Now a few weeks into this historic union, we explore what it means for survivors, advocates, and the future of global justice.
Together, we unpack:
Why BWJP and GRW chose to merge now
How this shift expands survivor-centered advocacy across borders
What’s next for programming, policy, and community engagement
The challenges and heart behind making big change happen
A message to GRW’s global community—and how to stay connected
Whether you're a long-time listener of Valiant Voices or brand new to BWJP’s work, this episode marks a turning point—and we’re honored to have you here for it.
Learn more today!
bwjp.org
In this episode of the BWJP podcast, host Alyssa Toledo is joined by legal advocate and community organizer Rachel Barkley for a powerful conversation about the role of identity in social justice work. Together, they reflect on how personal experiences shape their approaches to advocacy, communications, and movement building. From navigating burnout to finding joy, and from creative storytelling to systems change, Alyssa and Rachel explore what it means to lead with authenticity—and how staying true to who we are can deepen our impact.
In this episode of Taking Back Control, host Alyssa Toledo explores the launch of the National Restraining Order Center (NROC), a new initiative by BWJP aimed at improving safety, access, and justice for survivors of abuse. Alyssa is joined by Monica Player, Sarah Hur, and Megan Belden, experts in law and advocacy, who share their insights on NROC’s vision, its approach to breaking down barriers, and its role in supporting survivors.
The discussion covers the importance of restraining orders, common myths and misconceptions about their effectiveness, and the legal and procedural challenges that still make it difficult for survivors to obtain or enforce them. The guests dive into how NROC is making restraining orders more accessible, particularly for underserved populations like teens, immigrants, and those in rural areas. They also address the intersection of technology, legal protections, and the rise of Extreme Risk Protection Orders (ERPOs).
With a focus on collaboration and systemic change, the episode highlights NROC’s efforts to improve interstate enforcement of restraining orders and work alongside other BWJP centers to ensure holistic support for survivors. This conversation offers a deeper look into NROC’s mission to create a more effective and inclusive legal system for survivors of abuse.
Economic abuse is a common tactic in abusive relationships—yet it’s often misunderstood or overlooked. In this episode of Taking Back Control, we take a closer look at the Moving Ahead workbook, a resource developed by The Allstate Foundation to help survivors navigate financial instability and work toward long-term independence.
Host Alyssa Toledo is joined by Tonya Lovelace, President & CEO of Lovelace Consulting Services, Inc., who served as expert facilitator for the workbook’s most recent revision. Sharisse Kimbro of The Allstate Foundation and Amy Sánchez, CEO of BWJP, also join the conversation to share how the workbook has evolved over time and how it continues to support advocates and survivors across the country.
Together, they explore how financial empowerment is not just about numbers—it’s about safety, dignity, and building a future on your own terms.
https://www.thelearningcommunitytoendviolence.org/movingahead
In this powerful episode of Taking Back Control, BWJP’s Cindene Pezzell sits down with three visionary leaders working to dismantle the criminal legal system’s impact on Black women, girls, and gender-expansive people. Dr. Sydney McKinney of the National Black Women’s Justice Institute, and Niki Martinez and April Grayson of the Sister Warriors Freedom Coalition, share their lived experiences and bold strategies to promote healing, justice, and community-led change. From trauma-informed mentorship to the creation of the LOVE curriculum, this conversation centers dignity, resilience, and radical care.
In this special episode of Taking Back Control, we celebrate Women's History Month by highlighting BWJP's rising stars — four inspiring women making waves in the fight against intimate partner violence. Host Alyssa Toledo, a Communications Associate at BWJP, takes listeners on a journey through powerful conversations with fellow BWJP leaders: Diana Griffin, Megan Belden, and Rachel Barkley.
Each guest shares insights on the women who have inspired them, the lessons they've learned in their careers, and words of wisdom for the next generation of women leaders. Topics include:
Empowering Lessons from Female Mentors — Hear how strong women shaped the careers of BWJP’s rising stars.
Advice for Young Advocates — Insights on the importance of resilience, community, and self-care in emotionally demanding work.
Creating Change in Complex Systems — Discover how these leaders are pushing for systemic shifts in the legal landscape to better support survivors.
The Power of Storytelling — Alyssa reflects on her filmmaking background and the inspiring narratives that have fueled her creative and professional journey.
Whether you're an aspiring advocate, a seasoned professional, or someone looking to learn more about gender-based violence prevention, this episode is packed with heartfelt stories, practical advice, and powerful reflections.
Tune in to hear how BWJP's rising stars are taking back control — one story, one policy, and one act of courage at a time.
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Kimberly Randall, a pediatric emergency medicine physician and researcher, to discuss the intersection of teen dating violence and firearm access. With February marking Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, this conversation sheds light on:
With nearly 70% of teens who have dated reporting some form of dating violence, this issue demands urgent attention. Listen in to learn how we can better protect young people from abuse and firearm-related harm.
Disclaimer:
This project was supported by Grant No. 15JOVW-23-GK-05140-MUMU awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this program are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.
In this episode, Kristine Lizdas, Esq. and Rachel Barkley, J.D. dive into key Supreme Court cases from the 2023-2024 term that will have a lasting impact on survivors of domestic violence. They explore landmark rulings like United States v. Rahimi, City of Grants Pass v. Johnson, and Food and Drug Administration v. Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, breaking down how these decisions affect survivor rights and safety. They will also offer insights into a critical case from the 2024-2025 term that could shape the future of protections for survivors. Tune in for a comprehensive legal update.
Contact:
Kristine Lizdas, Esq.: Klizdas@bwjp.org
Rachel Barkley: Rbarkley@bwjp.org
In this episode, the Director of BWJP’s National Center on Legal Approaches to Prevent Family Violence, Kristine Lizdas, speaks with Maria Maier, a family law attorney with the St. Paul and Ramsey County Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (SPIP), and member of the Minnesota Supreme Court’s Standing Committee for the Legal Paraprofessional Pilot Project. Maria speaks with Kristine about Minnesota’s pilot effort to provide nonlawyer legal representation to survivors of domestic violence in specific case-types. Maria shares considerations for using nonlawyers in domestic violence-related cases and recommendations on the mechanics and safeguards that should be built into any effort to provide increased access to representation by nonlawyers to survivors of gender-based violence.
Resources:
Final Report and Recommendations to The Minnesota State Court
Standpoint and MNCASA Correspondence
This episode of Taking Back Control dives into the complex issue of presenting evidence in cases involving criminalized survivors, unpacking "battered woman syndrome" (BWS). We'll chat with Defense Center staff about the use of BWS in criminal court settings and clear up some of the most common misunderstandings of what it is – and what it is not. We'll discuss the impact of language and explore alternative ways to understand this nuanced issue. Join us for this enriching and entertaining discussion.
Update of the Battered Woman Syndrome Critique
So Much Activity, So Little Change: A Reply to Critics of Battered Women's Self-Defense
The Validity and Use of Evidence Concerning Battering and Its Effects
Other references:
Walker, L.E. (1984). The battered woman syndrome . New York: Springer Publishing Co.
Walker, L.E. (1992). Battered women syndrome and self-defense. Symposium on Woman and the Law, Notre Dame Journal of Law, Ethics and Public Policy , 6(2), 321-334.
In this month's episode, we delve into the stark realities of firearms and domestic violence. Joining us are Jennifer Becker, Esq., Director of the National Center on Gun Violence in Relationships, and Dr. April Zeoli. Together, we will explore the deadly intersection of domestic violence and firearms, shedding light on this critical issue.To learn more visit https://www.preventdvgunviolence.org/
Welcome back to Taking Back Control! Today's episode will focus on public defense in honor of National Public Defenders Appreciation Day. We are joined by Cindene Pezzell Esq., Director of The National Defense Center for Criminalized Survivors and a major public defender fangirl. Cindene is going to share a few stories from her time as an assistant public defender, and talk about why it is crucial for defense attorneys and GBV advocates to join forces when serving criminalized survivors. To learn more about defense-based advocacy, please visit our website and check out the resources below.
To learn more about incorporating a defense perspective into your community’s responses to gender based violence, please see our CCR Toolkit by Sue Osthoff and Jane Sadusky .
Please visit and register with the National Gender-Based Violence Learning Community for more resources and opportunities to learn about serving survivors of gender-based violence, including criminalized survivors.
BWJP would like to invite you to join us this month as we celebrate and raise the voices and experiences of Latinas at the intersection of gender-based violence (GBV) in observance of Hispanic Heritage Awareness Month. As the leading national nonprofit at the intersection of GBV and the law, we work to move the needle providing support, education, and innovation to advocates, systems professionals, and policy experts. It is one of our greatest priorities to center the experiences and voices of historically marginalized communities to ensure their specific needs are seen, heard, and met.
Joining the conversation today are four incredible Latina staff members from BWJP:
Kesimy Medina (she/her)
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
Lumarie Orozco, MA (she/her)
PROJECT DIRECTOR, FIREARMS TECHNICAL ASSISTANCE PROJECT
Maritza Valdez Fagin, MPA (she/her)
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR OF GRANTS MANAGEMENT, EXTERNAL RELATIONS
Maria Jose Fletcher, Esq. (she/her)
PROJECT DIRECTOR, NATIONAL CENTER ON SYSTEMS CHANGE AND POLICY
Did you know the risk of homicide increases by at least 500% when a firearm is present? This means that a woman is five times more likely to be killed by her partner when the partner has access to a firearm. June is National Gun Violence Awareness Month, and BWJP has an all-star lineup of experts in intimate partner violence and firearms to shed light on this deadly crisis.
Find out more: www.bwjp.org
https://bit.ly/437kJ9v
Supporting survivors of intimate partner violence in the workplace is crucial for their physical and emotional well-being. Providing them with resources and assistance can let them know they are not alone and promote healing and empowerment.
We at BWJP genuinely believe that we have a moral obligation to support survivors in our work and those who help us do the work. Join us for this amazing conversation that could help transform the way your organization shows up for survivors. In this episode, we talk about strategies and approaches for organizations that want to make their workplace affirming and safe. We are joined by:
Amy J. Sanchez, CEO BWJP
Maritza Valdez Fagin, Director of Operation
Anya Lynn-Alesker, Chief Counsel ABA Commission on Domestic & Sexual Violence
Want to learn more about BWJP? Find us at www.bwjp.org. We would love for you to join us by donating! www.bwjp.org/donate
When people think about intimate partner violence, children are often forgotten about, even though millions of children live in homes surrounded by abuse. In this episode, we chat with Ana Martinez-Mullen, Director of the SAFeR Project about the connections between different legal systems and how even people working inside them struggle to make sure children aren’t forgotten about. We make connections, problem solve, and envision a world where children and their parents are thriving after intimate partner violence.
Two useful tools from BWJP: A summary of SAFeR, our approach to domestic violence decisionmaking: https://www.bwjp.org/assets/safer-summary.pdf
Our child support palm card: https://www.bwjp.org/resource-center/resource-results/getting-child-support-when-coparent-is-abusive.html
Find us:
BWJP Technical Assistance line: (800) 903-0111 x 1
To discuss Taking Back Control, or for printed copies of the child support palm cards, email us at communications@bwjp.org
In this episode, we celebrate and highlight Bisexual+ survivors of intimate partner violence. Bisexual+ people represent a large community under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, with more and more young people identifying as bisexual. We know that bisexual+ people report a higher prevalence of sexual assault, intimate partner violence, and stalking than their heterosexual peers, so in this episode we're speaking to Andrea Holland at the Bisexual+ Resource Center to find out more about public health, gender-based violence, and the Bisexual+ community.
Find the Bisexual Resource Center at www.biresource.org
Twitter/Instagram/Facebook @biresource/bisexualresourcecenter
Find a Bi+ Group: https://biresource.org/find-a-bi-group/
Bi+ Health month resources: https://bihealthmonth.org/
Find BWJP at www.bwjp.org
BWJP Technical Assistance line: (800) 903-0111 x 1
To discuss Taking Back Control email us at: communications@bwjp.org
This episode builds on our previous one: "Coercive Control in Washington State." We discuss the benefits and drawbacks of codifying coercive control with Kristine Lizdas, co-Director of BWJP's Policy Division. We go in depth about codifying coercive control within the criminal, protection order, and child custody contexts. We discuss BWJP's recent policy papers on coercive control, and our reasons behind not recommending that coercive control be included in state domestic violence laws.
BWJP's brief guide on coercive control codification is found here: https://bwjp.org/site-resources/coercive-control-codification-policy-brief-domestic-violence-protection-orders/
BWJP's coercive control matrix can be found here: https://bwjp.org/site-resources/coercive-control-codification-matrix/
Our policy papers on coercive control can be found here: https://bwjp.org/site-resources/coercive-control-codification-brief-a-guide-for-advocates-and-coalitions/
Find us:
BWJP Technical Assistance line: (800) 903-0111 x 1
To discuss Taking Back Control, email us at communications@bwjp.org
Coercive Control is a pattern of threatening, humiliating, or intimidating actions. It is a pattern of behavior that seeks to take away an individual's liberty or freedom and strip away their sense of self. Coercive Control is designed to make someone dependent, isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence, and regulating their everyday behavior.
Many survivors and professionals in the field of gender-based violence are discussing the importance of coercive control to a full understanding of intimate partner violence. In this episode, we discuss the push to include coercive control in the laws of the state of Washington with Heather Wehr, Legal Advocacy Program Coordinator at the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, www.wscadv.org
A report on HB 1901, the Washington bill codifying coercive control in protection orders and discussed in this episode, is found here.
To discuss Taking Back Control, email us at communications@bwjp.org