On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Ta-Nehisi Coates' The Message, highlighting its themes of storytelling, the narratives we're given, and what we decide to do with them, collectively.
Discussion between Ezra Klein and Ta-Nehisi Coates
The Case for Reparations by Ta-Nehisi Coates
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss tolerance, delusion, being nice versus being kind, and much more. Stay woke.
On this episode of BMU, the guys unpack their reaction to heterofatalism (a pessimistic view of heterosexual relationships). The discussion unpacks the oversimplification of the problems with dating, how the meaning of our rhetoric shifts, all the dating apps being owned by the same company, Shannon Sharpe paying what he owes, and much more!
2nd Annual BMU Summer Book Club:
We're reading The Message by Ta-Nehisi Coates this year. Be sure to complete the book in time for our special episode on August 28th!
“Nearly all of the big dating apps are now owned by the same company”
“You Don’t Cook” by Solomon Fox
On this episode of BMU, the guys explore the interconnectionsbetween our identities within and investments in community and our relationships with our friends. In an expansion of their TEDx Conversation, “Communal Change from the Inside Out,” they identify March 2020 as an inflection point for our understanding of how to be together and be present for and with each other. The conversation emphasizes our collective need to commit to the maintenance of our intimate relationships through good practice with people we aren’t close to. They also highlight the hard work of rejecting false peace and fleeting convenience in favor of lasting peace through honesty.
“They Asked an A.I. Chatbot Questions. The Answers Sent Them Spiraling.”
BMU TEDx from October 2024: “Communal Change from the Inside Out”
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the issues with thebroad adoption of generative AI. The discussion questions technology’s ability to deliver us from oppression, the daily use of generative AI’s effect on our ability to think and learn, and the idea of ushering in an era of post-human humanity. The guys end the episode with a discussion of the Supreme Court’s ruling on gender affirming care for trans youth.
References from today’s show:
Matteo Wong’s “The Entire Internet is Reverting to Beta” https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2025/06/ai-janky-web/683228/
Shaolei Ren’s “How much water does AI consume? The publicdeserves to know” https://oecd.ai/en/wonk/how-much-water-does-ai-consume
“Your Brain on ChatGPT: Accumulation of Cognitive Debt whenUsing an AI Assistant for Essay Writing Task” https://arxiv.org/pdf/2506.08872
Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman
***Content warning***
Discussions on self-harm are included within this episode. Please feel free to not engage with if this subject matter is not in alignment with where you are in your journey right now. It’s ok to take care of yourself.
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On this episode of BMU, the guys welcome Dr. Greg Alfred and Dr. Chanté Meadows to the pod for a discussion on Black young people's mental health and how we can actively love them through life's most difficult moments. The episode finds its inspiration in the story of Kyren Lacy.
Kyren Lacy's untimely death in April got us thinking about the potential of one wrong choice to shift the trajectory of someone's entire life, and how difficult it is for someone that young to see past circumstances that seem hopeless. The episode aims to see Kyren as fully human, and to remind us all that even when problems are bigger than we can conceive solutions for, we're still each other's business.
We hope to honor Kyren with our discussion.
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For more on Kyren's story see the following:
The Pivot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD1cXTHzK3Y
Malik Nabors on 7PM in Brooklyn w/ Carmelo Anthony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGVxiGHKOiw
Kyren in his element: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C87nOdVPye8/?igsh=MWNobzFjYTE0eWk4eg%3D%3D
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Mental Health Resources:
If you are considering self-harm or are in emotional distress,consider using the National Suicide Lifeline: Dial 988 or 1-800-784-2433.
talkspace.com: Talkspace users have access to licensed therapists through the website or mobile app on iOS and Android.
betterhelp.com: BetterHelp is a mental health platform that provides direct online counseling and therapy services via web or phone text communication.
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Dr. Greg Alfred graduated from the United States Military Academy at West Point in 1996, and served in various Army leadership positions until his honorable discharge in 2007. He earned a master’s degree in counseling from Indiana University in 2003, and a Ph.D. in counseling psychology from the University of Missouri in 2011. After earning his doctorate, Greg worked as a psychologist at Ohio State University, where he focused on graduate/ professional students, nontraditional students, and military veterans. His passion for veterans led him to the Columbus VA, where he has served combat and sexual trauma survivors since 2015. Greg has been married for twenty years to his wife, Dr. Dorienna Alfred, also a psychologist. They have two sons, Brandon (17), and Jalen (15). In his free time, Greg likes to cook, watch his sons play lacrosse, spend time with his wife, and listen to jazz music.
Dr. Chanté Meadows, LISW-S, is a licensed clinical social worker, executive coach, and educator with 20+ years of experience in mental health, leadership, and wellness. She is CEO of Meadows Counseling Group and an adjunct professor at The Ohio State University College of Social Work. Dr. Meadows specializes in trauma-informed care, burnout prevention, and empowering leaders to lead with purpose, resilience, and authenticity. She is a wife and a mother of 4 boys.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Shedeur Sanders' fall in the 2025 NFL Draft and the circumstances that created the outcome. They highlight several themes and question why analysts covering the fallout have been so apt to eliminate one particular factor. Two more NFL stars get some smoke in "Really, Bruh?"
On this episode of BMU, the guys commemorate the 4th anniversary of the pod by fumbling Prince lyrics! They also discuss our collective need for celebration, societal norms around men celebrating (birthdays, milestones, etc.), adopting consistent joy practices, and our need to be seen by each other.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Marvin Sapp closing the doors of the church to raise a significant offering. The conversation considers the consequences of broadcasting church to the masses, how nuance can be lost in increasingly larger contexts, and what we mean by "authority" in the Christian context.
Today's episode references an excellent book, Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their experiences with patterns of avoidance. The episode deals with how our rapidly changing world can push us toward avoidance behaviors, the links between avoidance and control, and avoidance as manipulation. The episode ends with a tribute to their late friend, Ernest Levert, Jr.
On this episode of BMU, the guys shake off the blues to talk about play. They highlight the pressures they faced in childhood to abandon play for fear of being seen as childish or not properly growing toward manhood. Their discussion considers their lack of examples of adults at play, the difference between play and escapism, and our general need for recreation.
On this episode of BMU, the guys consider what it means to navigate the world post-election.
On this episode of BMU, the guys end their long hiatus (a week longer than even they thought because of technical difficulties with the recording) with an explanation of where they've been and what they've been through. Their conversation considers how we balance our internal work with staying connected, leaning into processing grief, and being good community for each other in rough times.
***Trigger Warning: Violence***
This episode discusses the details of Sonya Massey's murder by a now former police officer in Illinois. The circumstances around her death are discussed in detail.
On this episode of BMU, Rev. Landon J. Adams joins the guys to wrestle with the reality Sonya Massey's rebuke "in the name of Jesus" not saving her life. They contend with their expectations of invoking God's name for protection, what this means for our faith, our collective exhaustion in the face of police violence against Black people, and the need for us to unlearn individualism as we resist the great evils in our world.
Question Marks, Periods and Commas Podcast
Getting Involved with God: Rediscovering the Old Testament by Ellen F. Davis
On this episode of BMU, the guys start with a discussion of the murder of Sonya Massey and the challenge of contending with myriad incidents of police brutality. If you want to skip this part, the second half of the discussion of All About Love: New Visions begins at 24:22.
BMU Summer Book Club continues with a review of bell hooks' incredible characterization of love.
This episode references Is God a White Racist? A Preamble to Black Theology by William R. Jones and The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara.
On this episode of BMU, the guys launch the inaugural BMUS Summer Book Club with their discussion of the introduction through chapter 5 of bell hooks' All About Love: New Visions.
On this episode of BMU, the guys offer their critiques of capitalism’s effect on the Juneteenth holiday before diving into a nuanced conversation about the Caitlin Clark discourse. The conversation begins with harsh critique of some of the foremost male voices in sports media and their lack of understanding and study regarding the complex dynamics associated with Clark’s meteoric rise. The guys discuss those dynamics, offering pathways for us to legitimately regard Clark’s talent and stardom without succumbing to the racist, misogynoir, anti-LGBTQIA, and capitalist ways of thinking that would require us to tear down other players within the majority-Black and distinctly queer-identifying WNBA in the process.
The guys also announce the inaugural BMU Summer Book Club in which we’re reading All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks (1999) and The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin (1963). The first and second halves of All About Love will be discussed on our July 4th and 18th episodes, respectively. The Fire Next Time will be discussed in the same two-part fashion on episodes released on August 1st and 15th.
Today’s episode references Forty Million Dollar Slaves by William C. Rhoden (2007).
***CONTENT WARNING***
This episode includes discussion of self-harm. Please feel free to not engage with the episode if this subject matter is not in alignment with where you are in your journey right now. It’s ok to take care of yourself.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the mental health crisis we’re facing in the United States and the particular challenges Black men face in dealing with mental health crises. Their discussion evaluates the limits of our strength and intelligence in dealing with our most difficult issues, when we learn we’re not allowed to cry or emote, and the challenges associated with determining how much and when we can lean on each other.
“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness.” – Chuck Palahniuk
“we are each other’s
harvest:
we are each other’s
business:
we are each other’s
magnitude and bond.” – Gwendolyn Brooks, an excerpt from “Paul Robeson”
Mental Health Resources:
If you are considering suicide or are in emotional distress, consider using the National Suicide Lifeline: Dial 988 or 1-800-784-2433
talkspace.com: Talkspace users have access to licensed therapists through the website or mobile app on iOS and Android.
betterhelp.com: BetterHelp is a mental health platform that provides direct online counseling and therapy services via web or phone text communication.
On this episode of BMU, the guys celebrate the 3rd year of BMU with the first women to join the podcast, their friends Kyra Jones and Jonee Perry. The group discusses the nuances of platonic friendships between straight men and women, the foundations of their beliefs about who gets to be friends, and their models for friendship between men and women. The episode includes stories about their parents' responses to their early interest in relationships, the pitfalls of their socialization around college being a place to meet a life partner, and Tom Thumb weddings (LOL).
On this episode of BMU, the guys explore our romanticization of relationships and how those narratives fail us in practice. They revisit the foundations of what they learned about seeking relationships from elders as young men, consider how media shaped their expectations of how relationships would play out in their lives, and detail the internal work we all need to do to show up well in relationship.