Sometimes we are very hard on ourselves when we realise the things or experiences we have put our unhealed selves through . It is important to understand that you didn’t know better at that time . You survived with the information you have according to our environment and how you were raised. So once you realise that some of the things you put yourself through were self inflicted be kind and gentle because at that time you didn’t know better . The healing version of yourself is bringing new information and you are unlearning being on survival mode , hence you are able to pinpoint unhealthy patterns .