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Black Belt Husbands
Quentin Hafner
15 episodes
2 weeks ago
Being the “spiritual leader” of their marriage doesn’t mean praying more or being the moral authority at home. Spiritual leadership goes much deeper than that, and it’s something most marriage counseling completely misses. In this episode, Quentin Hafner breaks down the five Christian principles that quietly transform his own marriage, and how they’ve created a foundation of humility, accountability, and deep connection with his wife. Whether you consider yourself a man of faith or not, this ...
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Being the “spiritual leader” of their marriage doesn’t mean praying more or being the moral authority at home. Spiritual leadership goes much deeper than that, and it’s something most marriage counseling completely misses. In this episode, Quentin Hafner breaks down the five Christian principles that quietly transform his own marriage, and how they’ve created a foundation of humility, accountability, and deep connection with his wife. Whether you consider yourself a man of faith or not, this ...
Show more...
Arts
Episodes (15/15)
Black Belt Husbands
Are you really the "spiritual leader"? (and what you will never learn in traditional marriage counseling)
Being the “spiritual leader” of their marriage doesn’t mean praying more or being the moral authority at home. Spiritual leadership goes much deeper than that, and it’s something most marriage counseling completely misses. In this episode, Quentin Hafner breaks down the five Christian principles that quietly transform his own marriage, and how they’ve created a foundation of humility, accountability, and deep connection with his wife. Whether you consider yourself a man of faith or not, this ...
Show more...
2 weeks ago
27 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why you shouldn't "trust your feelings" and what great husbands do instead
Most people think emotional health means being in touch with their feelings. But the truth is, feelings when left unchecked, can quietly destroy your relationships, your confidence, and your sense of control. We live in a culture that tells us to “trust your feelings.” And while that sounds good, it’s dangerously incomplete. Because yes, your emotions are real… but they’re not always right. In this episode, I break down what real emotional maturity looks like, and how to stop letting feelings...
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1 month ago
36 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
How to be the Leader of Your Marriage
For many men, the idea of “leading” in marriage feels heavy... or even wrong. Culture has told us it’s controlling, and deep down you may wonder: Why is this on me? Why do I have to change when she’s the one who seems more unhappy or disconnected? That frustration is valid. Especially if you’ve spent years walking on eggshells, trying harder, but still ending up stuck in the same cycle. What most men miss is that, when there’s no clear leadership, marriages quietly unravel. Respect fades, int...
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1 month ago
49 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
The Respect Killer: Why You Can’t Tolerate Bad Behavior in Marriage
Most men think their biggest problem in marriage is that they need to be "nicer". And although there is some truth to that in how they show up as leaders, there is another major problem that most guys face that has nothing to do with being "nicer". It's how they deal with bad behavior. They let the eye-rolling, the criticism, the stonewalling, the disrespect slide, and they say nothing. Over time, that destroys respect, kills intimacy, and eventually the marriage itself. In this episode, I’m ...
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2 months ago
31 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Should I Get a Divorce? A Framework for Clarity in Marriage
Lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling, replaying the same question: Do I stay in this marriage, or do I leave? It’s the kind of decision that can paralyze you, because either path feels heavy with consequences. In this episode, I walk through the framework that brings clarity. How to spot the real non-negotiables, what values truly matter, and the wildcards that can’t be ignored. If you’ve been spinning in confusion, this conversation will help you finally see the way forwa...
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2 months ago
47 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
What Great Listeners Actually Do: The Mechanics of Listening (Part 2)
Listening is about the signals you send. The way you use your words, your body, and even your silence tells your wife if you’re a safe place for her emotions. In Part 2 of this 3-part series, we move from the inner game to the outer game and get into the exact skills that great listeners use. The kind that separate men who just “hear the words” from men who make their wives feel truly heard and connected. If you’ve ever wondered why your wife still feels unheard even when you’re trying, this ...
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2 months ago
25 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
The #1 Silent Killer In Relationships
Expectations shape every marriage or relationship. When they go unspoken or misaligned, they create resentment, frustration, and distance between husband and wife. In this episode, Quentin and his friend Rick break down where expectations come from, why they so often lead to conflict, and how men can communicate them clearly to build connection instead of disconnection. Many men lead powerfully in their careers, making big decisions and driving results, but at home, unclear expectations rob t...
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2 months ago
49 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
My wife left me. I ended up remarrying her 9 years later.
In this episode, we have a story of an incredible transformation. My client Scott, who's life came crashing down when his wife left him and he lost his business all in the same year. Through a windy road of personal and spiritual renewal, Scott rebuilt his life, his business, and his family and shares with us how he did it all; on this episode. Scott is a successful entrepreneur in Orange County, CA who owns a digital marketing agency helping small businesses grown t...
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2 months ago
52 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why You Don’t Hear Her; the Inner Game of Listening (Part 1)
When your wife says, “You’re not listening to me,” she doesn’t mean your ears aren’t working. She means she doesn’t feel your presence. In this first episode of a 3-part series, I dig into the inner game of listening—the mindset and self-control men need before any technique will ever work. This is the foundation. And in the next two episodes, I'll build on this and break down the practical skills that turn you into the kind of listener every wife longs for. Start here, and you’ll finally und...
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2 months ago
42 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why High-Value Husbands Don’t Fear Their Wives’ Criticism (And What They Do Instead)
In this solo episode, I talk about something most men struggle with but rarely admit—how hard it is to handle criticism from your wife. Too many men collapse into shame the moment she shares a complaint, and that shuts down the very feedback loop that could make their marriage stronger. I break down the difference between healthy complaints and destructive criticism, why so many of us are “shame-prone,” and how to develop the masculine durability our wives are longing for. I also share practi...
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2 months ago
16 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why Men Have Affairs (And What They're Really Searching For)
Most people think affairs happen because men are selfish, sex-obsessed, or just bad. They’re wrong. In this unshaming, emotionally honest episode, Lucas and I pull back the curtain on what’s really going on inside when a man cheats, and why it’s almost never about sex. We’ll explore the five emotional roots of infidelity. From loneliness and emotional isolation to suppressed feelings, love addiction, and untreated depression—and why the affair is often less about her and more about the part o...
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3 months ago
44 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why Your Wife Doesn’t Respect You (And How To Fix It)
One of the most painful things a man can experience is feeling like his wife doesn’t respect him. It shows up in subtle jabs, eye rolls, dismissive tone, or that cold wall that makes you feel small in your own home. A lot of men assume they need to “man up” or act more dominant, but that’s not the answer. In this episode, I sit down with the #1 Black Belt Husband coach Lucas Bell, and we break down: The real reason your wife pulls away or treats you with contemptWhy most men unknowingly teach...
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3 months ago
34 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Why “I’m Doing the Best I Can” Is Keeping You Stuck
You’ve probably said it: “I’m doing the best I can.” It feels true. It sounds noble. But what if that phrase is quietly keeping you from the life and relationships you actually want? In this episode, Lucas and I unpack the deeper truth behind this common statement, and why it so often keeps good men stuck in patterns of avoidance, stagnation, and quiet frustration. We’ll explore: How “doing your best” can become a protective shield from discomfortThe difference between effort and ownershipWhy...
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3 months ago
30 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
How to Love Your Wife Well Even When She’s Pulled Away
Let’s talk about a situation a lot of guys find themselves in, but almost no one knows how to handle. Your wife goes quiet. She’s withdrawn. She’s emotionally shut down… and you have no idea what to do. Do you chase her? Back off? Wait it out? In this episode, I’m sitting down with the #1 Black Belt Husband coach Lucas Bell, to break this down. We talk about what not to do when she pulls away, and how to lead your relationship with steadiness and strength, even when she feels hard to reach. I...
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3 months ago
36 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
How Neediness Kills Attraction in Marriage
Let’s talk about a silent killer in marriages that no one likes to admit: neediness. In today’s episode, I sit down with the #1 Black Belt Husband coach, Lucas Bell to unpack how neediness destroys masculine leadership, and slowly drains the attraction and connection out of your relationship. We’re not talking about basic emotional needs. We’re talking about anxiety-driven energy that chases, clings, and demands emotional reassurance… all under the disguise of “just wanting to feel close.” He...
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3 months ago
35 minutes

Black Belt Husbands
Being the “spiritual leader” of their marriage doesn’t mean praying more or being the moral authority at home. Spiritual leadership goes much deeper than that, and it’s something most marriage counseling completely misses. In this episode, Quentin Hafner breaks down the five Christian principles that quietly transform his own marriage, and how they’ve created a foundation of humility, accountability, and deep connection with his wife. Whether you consider yourself a man of faith or not, this ...