Husband and Wife are two non-believers who have always wanted to read the Bible. Why would we subject ourselves to this you might ask? From our perspective it helps us understand where the Christians around us, here in the Midwest, are coming from when they quote the Bible at us. Husband is basically an Atheist and wife leans Agnostic but mostly Atheist and we're just having some fun at the Bible's expense while learning more about what our neighbors claim we're going to hell over.
Bible Study for Atheists - Genesis is our home to keep all of our episodes available to all platforms. When you finish with this, look for our permanent home for Exodus under Bible Study for atheists Exodus or as always just follow our main feed at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
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Husband and Wife are two non-believers who have always wanted to read the Bible. Why would we subject ourselves to this you might ask? From our perspective it helps us understand where the Christians around us, here in the Midwest, are coming from when they quote the Bible at us. Husband is basically an Atheist and wife leans Agnostic but mostly Atheist and we're just having some fun at the Bible's expense while learning more about what our neighbors claim we're going to hell over.
Bible Study for Atheists - Genesis is our home to keep all of our episodes available to all platforms. When you finish with this, look for our permanent home for Exodus under Bible Study for atheists Exodus or as always just follow our main feed at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
so it's time for Husband and Wife to play another round of a game called You're Always Wrong.
You may be shocked to learn that we've found a few contradictions in the Bible. No wonder it's so easy to cherry-pick quotes to back up any claim!
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Husband and Wife cover a brief summary of the Book of Genesis and perform fairly well on a quiz. Then learn that Nimrod was very likely Gilgamesh, and that he was pretty much a douchebag. Husband falls asleep.
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Jacob Blesses Ephraim and Manasseh;
Jacob's Prophecy Concerning His Sons / The Death and Burial of Jacob; and
The Death of Joseph.
Them dudes died, but not before Jacob called out his sons' bad behavior. "Y'all suck!" he shouted before taking his last breath. Congrats! You've completed the Book of Genesis!
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Jacob and His Family in Egypt.
There's like this famine and basically they squeeze the people of Egypt for all they're worth and basically it's pretty mf grotesque. We hate it. Slavery ensues.
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The Missing Cup / Judah Pleads for Benjamin; and chapter 45: Joseph Makes Himself Known to His Brethren.
We apologize for all the ridiculous background noise. There is coughing, motorcycles revving, and reading flubs. Also, Joseph comes clean but he's so boring about it.
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Joseph's Brethren Come to Egypt for Grain; and chapter 43: Joseph's Brethren Return with Benjamin.
Joseph f*cks with his brothers a bit and yeah, the schadenfreude is real.
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Joseph Interprets the Prisoners' Dreams; and chapter 41: Joseph Interprets Pharaoh's Dream / Joseph Made Ruler over Egypt.
The baker bites the dust. Something about fat cows and grains that swallow. Famine ensues but Egypt learns to budget so whatever.
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Judah and Tamar; and chapter 39: Joseph and Potiphar's Wife.
Now we know why people think the pull-out method is an *effective form of birth control (*NOTE: IT'S NOT). Er bites the dust. Apparently it's evil to not impregnate your brother's wife. Joseph almost gets raped.
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The Descendants of Esau; and chapter 37: Joseph Sold into Egypt.
Some boring begatting followed by a story we wish Donny Osmond was here to sing. No raping or incest this time!
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The Defilement of Dinah Avenged; and chapter 35: God Blesses Jacob at Beth-el / The Death of Rachel / The Sons of Jacob / The Death of Isaac.
"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah; someone's in the kitchen I know"🎶 Wife loses her sh*t and rants about rapey men who can't control themselves. The Avenging was definitely appropriate for those monkeys.
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Jacob Prepared to Meet Esau / Jacob Wrestles at Peniel; and chapter 33: Jacob and Esau Reconciled.
That wrestler came out of nowhere! Don't eat the hip bone! And was Esau subtweeting Jacob, or what? Also - can't believe we didn't make a joke about Peniel / Penile. What a wasted opportunity.
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The Children Born to Jacob (cont.) / The Trickery of Laban and Jacob; and chapter 31: Jacob Flees from Laban.
We learn there are multiple gods and we encounter a legit mic drop. Laban gets what's coming to him. But not really because they all walk away friendly-like after yet another convenant.
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Jacob Flees from Esau (cont.) / God Appears to Jacob at Beth-el; and chapter 29: Jacob Serves Laban for Rachel and Leah / Jacob Marries Leah and Rachel / The Children Born to Jacob.
Another zoom call! Stairway to Heaven! Laban is a d*ck. Jacob should've taken Rachel and peaced out.
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A well is named Care-a-Lot. We conclude that all the men are rapey, lying, thieves, and all the women are gossiping snitches. We also question whether people of that time period possessed magic to dole out curses and blessings willy-nilly.
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A Wife Obtained for Isaac; and chapter 25: Abraham's Descendants through Keturah / The Death and Burial of Abraham / The Descendants of Ishmael / The Birth of Esau and Jacob / Esau Sells His Birthright.
Could Esau beat Nimrod in a fight? Do we even really care? This was kind of a boring section. But we had fun with it nonetheless!
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Abraham Commanded to Offer Isaac; and chapter 23: Abraham Buys a Burial Ground for Sarah.
We question whether God has ever read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People because his leadership skills are lacking, and we wonder if Nimrod will ever make another appearance. We also decide God can go F himself if he ever asks us to kill our kids. Oh and Spoiler Alert, Sarah is dead now.
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Abraham and Abimelech; and chapter 21: The Birth of Isaac / Hagar and Ishmael Sent Away / The Covenant Between Abraham and Abimelech.
We ponder who would be a better hunter: Nimrod or Ishmael? More incest is brought to light. God, being a dick, punishes, like, everyone. As usual.
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The Birth of Isaac Promised / Abraham Intercedes for Sodom; and chapter 19: The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.
We are knuckle-deep in rape, incest, and salt. Does too much masturbation actually blind you because of all Lot's crazy parties?
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Circumcision the Sign of the Covenant.
We question whether God has a , whether or not it's circumcised, and who performed such action. Everybody line up 'cause it's dick-choppin' time! WHERE'S STEVE? All this accompanied by the sweet background sound of a running computer that Husband can't tame.
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Abram rescues Lot / Melchizedek Blesses Abram; and Genesis chapter 15: A Son Promised to Abram.
He cut the animals in HALF!? Grody! And God's still a big dick. A children's Bible is like KidsBop for #WAP.
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