We answer Maria’s big question: Should you delay dating to work on yourself, or date to grow? We break down timing for men vs women, how to avoid “healing as avoidance,” what real standards look like, and how to prepare yourself so the right person actually shows up.
What you’ll learn
The difference between healing and hiding
Why timing looks different for men and women—and what to do about it
Standards vs expectations (and the one standard that stops toxic loops)
How to spot avoidance disguised as self-work
The “bus stop” model: making timing meet preparation
Why most growth happens in relationship—and how not to sabotage it
Chapters
00:00 Cold open: “Am I too picky—or just not settling?”
01:03 Welcome back + life updates (UPW, Vegas, Ren Fair)
03:18 Maria’s email: timing, self-work, and not settling
06:20 Jumping into relationships vs waiting—what actually works
10:05 Men’s path: build capability, leadership, stability
14:10 Women’s path: discernment, standards, environment
17:32 Healing vs avoidance: the tell-tale signs
21:05 Standards that prevent toxicity (and how to enforce them)
26:00 “Don’t date someone you won’t marry”—with nuance
29:40 Growing together: why most growth is messy (and worth it)
33:45 The “bus stop” analogy: creating your own timing
37:10 Action steps + books that help (Queen’s Code, etc.)
40:05 Q&A wrap + how to send your questions
Send your question
Email: BetterThanPerfectPodcast@gmail.com
Site: BetterThanPerfectPod.com
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