It has been almost three whole months since I have released a new podcast. The last episode, number 234 went live on September 18th. Since then my life got a little crazy and I had some unfortunate technical challenges to overcome. During this three month Hiatus I have made a lot of observations, I have gained many insights, and I have continued on the path of being a better man than I was yesterday. I plan to share these insights with you in upcoming episodes. Today however, for my first episode back in a while we have a special guest who is going to share his personal story with us.

This interview has been scheduled for about three months as well. In fact we sat down and recorded it one day several weeks ago and that was when I realized that my technology was not working…it didn’t record. Now thankfully, that issue is resolved and and I am finally able to share this inspiring interview with you.

This week I got a letter from a listener named Kyle. Kyle was wondering if I would talk about something specific, that being; overcoming failure in your life.

The kind of failure Kyle was talking about is the same kind of failure each of us have experienced in one way or another. I’m not talking about big things like failing to pass the bar exam or failing to become a millionaire by the time you are 30. No, I’m talking about those little everyday failures. The kinds of things that make you feel regret about who you are and what kind of man you are being.

I have said before on this show that I continue to learn from my father, he continues to be my mentor and my example of what manhood is. Now, being in the presence of these two brothers during this experience has made that statement even more true. At 55 years old I still have so much to learn from my elders. Regardless of your age or your station in life don’t forget that. You still have much to learn. We all still have so much to learn and the ones to teach us are those who have already gone through it. So I encourage everyone to seek out the wisdom of men older than you. Wether they are family, a neighbor, or someone you meet on the street—take the time to hear them. Take advantage of their stories and experience and put it to work in your own life. Utilizing the experience, wisdom, and knowledge of men older than you is a very effective human strategy, it has been working since our species began. It’s also another tool to use while you are being a better man today than you were yesterday.

Today I will be making a very pointed observation about something going on right now. If it offends you, you are free to never listen to me again. If it offends you, then you are obviously not aligned with the message this podcast offers. I would add that if you are offended by today’s podcast to at least also give yourself the benefit of hearing me out.

I spent several years of my life with no adventures. I was too involved in the rat race. I was too busy working to take the time to explore and discover. Looking back I think that was a mistake. For the rest of my life I’m going to try and have at least one adventure every year…maybe even more.

This can be a touchy, emotionally charged topic, but it’s also a fact of modern life and I feel like I need to talk about it a little bit. This is something I have dealt with personally in my life. Many, many men I know have also dealt with it. My own son is still dealing with it right now and I just got a letter from a long time listener named Tom where he told me about the struggles he is going through regarding access to his children. It’s a real thing, a heart wrenching thing, and as men we really need to think about from every angle.

Granted, there are many people who suffer the consequences of their own actions for years and never pull out of it. They numb their pain with drugs or alcohol as their life slowly circles the drain and they feel like a victim the entire time. However, at the same time, there are other people who realize that every bad thing that ever happened to them is their fault. They decide they want to live and live well, they start making choices that will effect that outcome. They surround themselves with people that will be good examples, they abandon people and behavior that have been pulling them down.

This post was inspired by my friend and fellow podcaster; Wally Carmichael, who host's "Men Of Abundance." I saw a post he made about leadership that I really liked and I decided to expound upon it a bit and give it some of my own spin. This should give you something to chew on for a couple days, and I encourage everyone to give Wally's show a listen.

I like to imagine that the vast majority of my listeners do not do this. There may be a few of you who do though, maybe that’s the example you got when you were growing up? Maybe that is just the culture you live in and no one ever really told you it was wrong. That is not a valid excuse, but either way I’m telling you right now that there is another, better way to be.

If I know that I am the sum total of the five people I spend the most time with, then I am going to be very discriminating about who those five people are. I will judge the people who come into my life to determine if they are aligned with my world view. Is there anything I can learn from them? Do they have experience or knowledge that I seek? I will judge wether or not they will be a liability to my objectives, or if they will be an asset. At the same time I expect those people are judging me by the same criteria. If there is a group of people I want to be a part of then I need to bring some sort of value to that group. If my presence doesn’t elevate the sum total of that group in some way—then why would I expect they would want me around?

Not being realistic can cause problems in every area of life if you aren’t careful. Personally, I tend to think that this type of separation from reality is a form of laziness, I’ll explain why. Some guys may see something about themselves that isn’t quite right, something that could use improvement or something they lack. Right then they could decide to focus on that thing whatever it is. They could focus on it with the intention of improving it so it is no longer a liability. They could master that new skill, or lose that 20 pounds, or whatever. Unfortunately that would require two things they are not willing to give though; time and effort. They want what they want right NOW.

There is only one world, and we’re all a part of it. As men, the things that happen in this world should matter to us. In particular the things that other men are out there doing. Only when we know what the problem is will we know what to say when we speak up. Only then will we understand what kind of example we need to be, and only then can we start becoming part of the solution.

Today I want to talk about the virtue of good old fashioned back breaking hard work. It’s something many people tend to avoid these days. There are many people who have never actually done excruciatingly hard physical labor in their whole life. These are soft times we live in. We buy our food already prepared. Our clothes come ready to wear, and the buildings we live in are just there…when something goes wrong we call someone else to fix it. As a species we are becoming more and more distant from our physical roots. We have forgotten that our bodies are dynamic, useful tools capable of great industry. Some people compensate by going to the gym and working out real hard. They do that because it feels good. Hard work releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good. Hard physical labor does the same thing.

Independence is the opposite of dependence, and It would mean not being dependent upon situations and conditions, but rather…persevering and figuring out how to excel in spite of those situations and conditions…or to take it even further, being the force that creates situations and conditions that are favorable. Imagine if every man lived his life this way…it would be a different world wouldn’t it? To gain your autonomy…your independence as a man is still possible, even though we are subject to laws and governments and employers and economic statistics…we can still be autonomous men. How? By first understanding what we believe and what we stand for as individuals, and then by never compromising those beliefs for anyone or any thing. To put it another way, to be true to yourself at all costs.

I want to acknowledge all of you guys who listen to this podcast. All you guys that read books and seek out other resources related to your improvement as a man and as a person. Congratulations! You belong to a percentage of humanity that is instinctively concerned and aware. You understand that you can and should strive to be a better man, not just for your own sake, but for the sake of everyone you love and for humanity at large. If you weren’t concerned with these things, you wouldn’t be here. That is step one; being engaged and aware and concerned. Step two is that each of you need to take up the torch and continue the conversation wherever you are. In whatever circles of people you find yourself in. I am happy to lead the charge with this podcast, but I am only one voice.

There are people who received a great legacy from their ancestors, and they squandered it, not appreciating it, not using it as an example or building upon it…they wasted it. Then there are people who received nothing but grief from their ancestors who went on to build fantastic, rich legacies from nothing but their own intention. So regardless of who you are, or of what circumstances. Regardless of what legacy was left for you. You all have the same opportunity to be mindful of the legacy you are creating. That opportunity is always happening during each moment that you are alive, today, right now.

Ok, so each one of us have relationships with other people. We are sons and brothers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends and co-workers. We are friends, uncles, nephews, and neighbors. We are customers, employee’s and supervisors. Every time you interact with another human some degree of relationship is established. It may be very slight in passing, or it may be profound and deep, but all of these interactions together make up the entire spectrum of your relationships. All of these relationships from the seemingly insignificant to the profound are important. They are, as I have said many times, the most valuable things you possess. The quality of your life, the level of happiness, joy and prosperity you experience on earth is a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships.

Nowadays we barely notice the changes from one season to the next because we continue to eat and live the same way all year around. That doesn’t mean the seasons are not still significant…it only means our perception of them has changed. I am suggesting that as men we can still use the seasons to galvanize our action, to focus our efforts and attention onto the things that matter. For example, now summer is here. What are your plans for the summer? What do you want to accomplish before Autumn gets here? How will you make the best use of your time in the next three months? It’s a great time to take a minute and reflect on your life. Get a piece of paper and write down what your summer goals are. Then write down how you plan to accomplish them.

I was fortunate to have a fantastic father, but I can’t help but think about all the people who did not have great dads. Guys who didn’t even know their fathers. People who’s father died when they were young. People who have mean or abusive fathers. Fathers in prison, or fathers who abandoned them. I think about all these people on father’s day, because it must be kind of rough for them. I try to put myself in the shoes of a person who has a father that is not worthy of celebration. What is it like when the rest of the country and everyone on social media is talking about what a great dad they have. I try to imagine what that must be like—but I can’t, not really, because that is not my experience. This episode is dedicated to everyone out there in this situation though. I want you to know that you are not forgotten.

When you get bored is when bad things happen. It’s when we start to fill our time with activities or people that are not especially good for us. When people get bored they drink too much or experiment with drugs, or engage in other risky behavior, because they are subconsciously looking for a way to not be bored. Being bored is not a natural state for a human to exist in. My dog gets bored from time to time, you can see it on her face. Cow’s get bored, cat’s can get bored too…but it isn’t for humans to do. The thing is, if you happen to get bored there isn’t any valid excuse for it. It’s entirely your own fault. At the start of this show I said there were two critical things; how we fill our time, and how we manage our time. Well, who is in charge of filling your time when you are not at work? Unless you are incarcerated or serving overseas in a war, the answer is, YOU. As a man in the world, you are in charge of what you do and where you go. You are completely in control for the activities in your day…or lack thereof.