We're going on a tour around the world to try all the popular, boring macro lagers it has to offer.

Our favorite Sword and Sandal movies are on the docket today. That includes movies about Ancient Greece, the Roman Empire, and Feudal Japan. Sometimes the movie stops before the action is done. Sometimes the movie has hardcore sex scenes thrown in at random. But one thing's for certain: any historically accurate homosexual storylines will be promptly swept under the rug for the sake of the puritanical American viewing audience.

It's that time again! Time to sardonically mock some good people who are just trying to give their honest, heartfelt opinions as they review the beers they drink. That's maybe not the best description for what this is, but it's no worse than the word salad we find in these reviews we read, am I right?

Just because it's old doesn't mean it's not worthy of discussion. If that were the case, we would never talk about anything. All we know is old stuff.

We've got another tasty dark beer on the docket today. American Porters are one of those dark beer styles that you can drink all year long. So grab one and have a listen!

From simply drinking a Kolsch, you might not realize what a weird beer style it is. But hey, that's what we're here for.

We're feeling whimsical today, so we're going to take a break from talking about beer and instead go over our favorite movie soundtracks. But don't worry, we will still be very drunk while we do so.

While discussing this delightfully strong Belgian beer style, we also dip in and out of conversations about serving beer in schools, offensive beer names, and the DTs. Oh, and there are some spoilers for the 2015 film The VVitch, so consider yourself warned.

Do you love the 2003 Russell Crowe film Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World as much as we do? I doubt that. What does that have to do with a Dark Mild, you ask? Nothing whatsoever. But that doesn't stop us from rambling on and on about it when we're supposed to be talking about beer. It's not even our pairing movie for Dark Mild, it's just something we got wrapped up in and couldn't stop talking about. It happens. But we do talk about Dark Milds, too. Just not with the same passion as when we talk about Master and Commander. It really is a stellar movie. One that doesn't get the credit it deserves. I mean, sure, it won Academy Awards for sound editing and cinematography, but it has so much more to offer than just good sound and imagery. It also has heart...

We're talking creamy Cream Ales on this episode. It's not the most exciting style out there, but it is one of them. So here we go!

It's almost Halloween, so we wanted to do something creepy for this edition of Facing Off. And what's more creepy than that scene of JCVD dancing in Kickboxer? We're calling this one "Most Awkward, Most Unnecessary"

Schwarzbier, or Black Lager if you're not into the whole Deutschland thing, is another one of those super old beer styles that doesn't want to fit nicely into our contemporary notions of what it means to be an ale or a lager. It's roasty and dark, like a stout, but light-bodied and easy-drinking, like a lager. So that's fun. We also talk about base and specialty malts, and how to use them. You know you can't resist that, so why even try to fight it?

We're reviewing some more beer reviews for our third episode of September. It's fun, as always, and it gives us an opportunity to feel superior to others, which is something we desperately need from time to time. So stop staring blankly into The Void for an hour or so and give our pointless goofery a listen instead. Don't worry about The Void; it will still be there when we're finished with you.

We're talking about an obscure but sought-after Belgian beer style today, the Lambic. But we also go into the remixed version of that style, which adds fruit (and sometimes sugar) to make it more approachable. Then, on the pairing side of this episode, we delve into movies that never made it out of development hell. And, on that note, here's a link to a story about the many attempts to make a film version of A Confederacy of Dunces: https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2006/12/the-development-hell-of-a-confederacy-of-dunces.html

We're Facing Off again, this time about some legendary character actors. We're discussing our favorite movies featuring James Hong, Stephen Tobolowsky, and William Fichtner!

Not one. Not two. We're covering THREE beer styles today! Oh, the humanity! Thankfully they're all very similar. They are Ordinary Bitter, Best Bitter, and Strong Bitter. So strap in, this one is going to be a doozy!

Today we're covering everyone's favorite beer style, the American IPA! I also rant about Disney, throw out over a dozen beer and movie pairings, and I think there's a random Xenia Onatopp reference in there somewhere, too. Enjoy!

Grab your woodruff syrup and your Beer Bible because this episode is all about the beer style that Napoleon once called the "Champagne of the North!" But, you know, it's not really ALL about that. We also discuss drag balls, Pan-Asian Markets, and much, much more!

We're Facing Off on our favorite sequels past two. That's third or higher. It's trickier than it sounds.

We're talking Belgian wheat beers today. This beer style was almost completely extinct at one point, but one man's dedication saved the style from obscurity. It's a very interesting story. There's also a bit of an anti-capitalist rant in this episode, so all of you easily-triggered, money-loving snowflakes should considered yourselves forewarned. Here's that article about Pierre Celis I mention in the episode: https://punchdrink.com/articles/rebirth-americas-original-witbier-celis-brewery/ Oh, and here's the one about Spring Breakers and Britney Spears: https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/8247403/spring-breakers-britney-spears-everytime