The Challah Mom (Anat Ishai) candidly shares her personal Jewish journey of making aliyah to Israel from Toronto, Canada. She speaks about being born in Israel and growing up in Toronto as the daughter of Russian Jews.
The Challah Mom describes the process of how she and her family made the decision to come to Israel for a year during Covid, how they moved back to Toronto afterward, and then officially moved back to Israel, making aliyah just 30 days before October 7. Her story is beautiful, soulful and authentic. It highlights the importance of listening to our inner voice, and it encourages people to embrace their light and potential. Don't be afraid of succeeding!
Anat shares how she felt a return to self in Israel. Throughout our conversation, you can tangibly feel her deep, soulful connection to Israel and to Torah. As she navigated the ups and downs of life, Anat progressed on her Jewish journey. Instead of asking, "Why?" when things happened, The Challah Mom learned to ask, "What am I supposed to learn from this?" It's such a powerful shift in perspective. It's not so much that we need to know why something is happening, but more importantly, we need to know the hidden message inside of what is happening, and how we can grow from it.This is a very powerful message!
The Challah Mom also shares her story about how she began covering her hair and why she wears her beautiful scarves.
You can follow The Challah Mom on Instagram and Facebook.
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
"When was the last time you felt the baby move? There is no heartbeat." Those were the words that Rebbetzin Tzipah Wertheimer's doctor told her when she went in for an appointment at 9 months pregnant.
Rebbetzin Tzipah bravely shares about the loss of her baby at full term. The sadness and disappointment; the way she handled coming home from the hospital without the baby, and how she was able to move forward. She talks about the mentors from whom she sought advice, and the strength she gained from her Chabad on Campus of Queens. Rebbetzin Tzipah, and her husband, Rabbi Shaul Wertheimer, have been running the Chabad on Campus of Queens (New York) since 2004.
Rebbetzin Tzipah goes on to speak about the losses of two other pregnancies, and her relationship with Hashem during these challenging times. She learned to lean into the Jewish traditions of grief and mourning. She also received some poignant advice from one of her mentors: "You don't need to understand everything in order to move forward." In other words, we need to have Emunah (faith) in Hashem that everything He does is good...but we don't need to understand how or why it's good. As human beings, we don't see the big picture. We see the events that are unfolding in front of us, but we don't necessarily see the connection to our past, and we definitely don't see what the future holds for us because of these events (not despite them.)
Rebbetzin Tzipah also addresses the question of "Why do bad things happen to good people?"
To be connected to Rebbetzin Tzipah, please email Vera Kessler, host of America's Top Rebbetzins: atrebbetzins@gmail.com Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Rebbetzin Dini (Dina) Coopersmith is the trip leader and coordinator of women's learning trips to Israel through Women's Reconnection Trips. She has a Bachelor's degree in Education and a Master's degree in Jewish History. Rebbetzin Dini teaches in a number of seminaries in Jerusalem, where she lives with her husband and children.
From this situation, only good will come, was the central theme of our enlightening conversation. Emunah--the belief that everything comes from Hashem (G-d), everything He does is good, and everything He does has a purpose--is the way Rebbetzin Dini lives her life. This is also the theme that runs through her Reconnection trips with women.
The Level Up women's emunah and solidarity missions are designed to help women reconnect with each other, with themselves, and with Hashem, in a truly transformative way. The women visit historical places in Israel and they also spend time with people and families whose lives were directly impacted by the events of October 7. When women connect to women, in an authentic and compassionate way, they have the capacity to truly uplift each other's souls.
Rebbetzin Dini also describes some of the classes that Reconnection Trip participants experience. She speaks about a beautiful class where women learn to identify their purpose and their tikkun in life. Also, she speaks, in depth, about a class on emunah that calls women's attention to:A--appreciation for all the Hashem has done for youB-belief and connection to HashemC-communication through prayerD-declaring your beliefs and positive affirmations out loudE-expecting the best from Hashem
For more information on Rebbetzin Dini's Reconnection Trips, please visit:https://www.reconnectiontrips.com/
For Rebbetzin Dini's YouTube channel, please visit: https://www.youtube.com/@dinicoopersmith
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker.
Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
You asked, Rikki Jacobson Davis answered YOUR questions on dealing with the narcissist in your life.
Rikki was originally on our podcast a few episodes ago, talking about narcissism and narcissists. If you missed that conversation, definitely check it out. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4Jof1QdtUQ&t=6s
In today's interview, Rikki addressed questions that she received about labeling narcissists, specifically about labelling the lens through which you see the person through their consistent dynamics and behavior.
In terms of whether or not it's possible to have a relationship with a narcissist, Rikki encourages us to take into account our emotional and physical safety (and that of our children) and also respect (does the narcissistic person in your life respect you? Do you have respect for them?) Are you able to set boundaries with this person?Emotional and physical safety, and respect are key ingredients to successful relationships.
Rikki also speaks about the role of compassion in dealing with a narcissist. She explains that compassion is a value, and values don't come in a vacuum. In other words, we should consider expense at which compassion comes. Are you having compassion for the person in order to get something from them? Is having compassion for that person compromising your safety or the safety of your children? Is having compassion for that person beneficial for them? Are they even open to receiving compassion?
Rikki emphasized that we need to get clear on our values so that we can stay true to ourselves and not lose our self identity in trying to placate or manage the narcissist.
She also discussed emotional abuse and psychological abuse, as well as gaslighting. Gaslighting is the systematic breakdown of your trust in yourself. Is the narcissist in your life trying to make you doubt yourself, your behavior, or an event that actually happened (and they say it didn't happen)? Are they constantly distorting reality? There is both intentional and unintentional gaslighting.
You can reach Rikki through her website: www.relationalresilience.com
You can also email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
I am NOT my struggle, I AM my LIGHT. Very powerful words from Rebbetzin Ruty David, who is renown for her relatable manner and non judgmental way of engaging. She is authentic in her passionate commitment to spread Torah values as she works with the many brides who seek her out to help prepare them for their weddings. She also focuses on energetic healing to help people shift from self-doubt to self-empowerment.
In our engaging conversation, Rebbetzin Ruty explains to us how we can find the light of Hashem inside ourselves and inside of others, including our husband.
The first thing you need to do is to realize that Hashem chose YOU to radiate YOUR light--if He hadn't chosen you, then you wouldn't be here. Once you know yourself, you know Hashem. His pure essence is inside of you.
Next, you need to understand that your TRUE ESSENCE is your LIGHT. Your soul is pure light. The darkness you experience is just the yetzer hara (the evil inclination.)
Wherever you have the greatest struggle, you have the greatest light. If you want to know where your strengths are, look at your weaknesses. If you are struggling, turn inward and listen to your intuition. Your intuition is a soft voice; it's Hashem's voice guiding you. Listen to that voice.
When things are hard for you, sit with your pain for a while. Express your pain. You can journal or write down your feelings. Then move the pain out of yourself through exercise, dance, music, or anything that moves the pain out of your psyche. You don't want to hold on to pain.
Show yourself compassion, but don't drown in self-pity. Look for your inner light. Your intuition will guide you to see your light and, therefore, your strengths. It will allow you to shift your beliefs from "I'm not good enough" to "I am a shining light of goodness." By sitting with your pain and then shifting your mindset, you give yourself compassion with boundaries--Tiferet.
Once we shift our mindset, we shift our energy. When we shift our own energy, creating a positive, loving light, others feel our energy shift, and THEIR energy also begins to shift, and they are more receptive to us. Our husband, children, family, friends, potential clients, will be drawn to us because we are radiating happiness and positivity. People want to be around light, not darkness.
Also, we need to see the light in others, including our husband. The more light we see in ourselves, the bigger that light grows inside of us. Consequently, the more light we see in others (especially our husband), the more their light grows, and the more radiant they become.
When you see the good in yourself and in others, your mind becomes accustomed to seeing the good, or looking for the good, instead of the negative. When you look for the good, you will find more good--both in yourself and in others.
You can email me at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
The Omer is the 49-day time period between Pesach (Passover) and Shavuot. During this time, we climb up the emotional ladder by refining our character traits and regaining control of our emotions. We do this by focusing on the sefirot. A sefirah is an emotional attribute. For each of the 7 weeks between Passover and Shavuot, we focus on one sefirah each week.
Rebbetzin Sara-Tova Yaffe, of the CBD Chabad Sydney, in Sydney, Australia, takes us through each of the 7 sefirot, and explains them in detail.
Chesed--Kindness/love/benevolence
This is the most important aspect for creating a foundation in our relationships. Rebbetzin Sara-Tova talks about the different types of relationships that we have: intrapersonal (the relationship you have with yourself), interpersonal (your relationships with others), and your relationship with Hashem (G-d). Chesed encompasses how we give and receive love.
Question to ask yourself relating to Chesed: Do I take into consideration my partner's capacity to receive before I give?
Gevurah--Discipline/justice/boundaries
This is the channel through which we express our love. It gives us our direction and purpose. It makes our love focused and purposeful.
Question to ask yourself relating to Gevurah: Is my discipline restrained or is it excessive?
Tiferet--Compassion/harmony/beauty
This is the perfect blend of chesed and gevurah. Tiferet is the truth, and it rises above the ego. It brings clarity to relationships. Tiferet helps us balance our needs with another person's needs so that we are not over giving or over taking.
Question to ask yourself relating to Tiferet: Do I bond with the one you have compassion for, or do I remain apart?
Netzach--Victorious/enduring/ambitious
This is our drive, determination and tenacity to reach our goals. Netzach gives us the patience and the persistence to go after our dreams and desires without giving up. It brings security and commitment to relationships.
Question to ask yourself relating to Netzach: Does my determination compromise my compassion for others?
Hod--Humility/splendor
Hod gives Netzach direction. It gives us the awareness that Hashem is really the One who controls our success. As much effort as we put in while we persevere, it is Hashem who decides the outcome of our efforts. Hod brings awareness that all our gifts and blessings are from above, so we should not be boastful.
Question to ask yourself relating to Hod: Does my humility cause me to be anti-social, or does it express itself in empathy for others?
Yesod--Foundation/bonding
Yosod is the ultimate attribute of emotional connection. It is the fusion of individuals together; not two separate people, but rather two people coming together as one person, through the act of bonding. This brings a sense of belonging to a relationship.
Question to ask yourself relating to Yesod: Is my bonding conditional?
Malchut--Kingship/sovereignty/nobilityThis is a state of being; the way you show up in the world. Malchut is how you hold yourself and present yourself to the world. It's an expression of dignity.
Question to ask yourself relating to Malchut: Am I aware of my limitations and my strengths?
You can email me at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
The way the world functions works through women. Our world moves through seasons. Similarly, women go through different phases in their monthly cycle that correlate with the seasons of nature. As women, when we understand the way our menstrual cycle works (even in perimenopause and menopause), we are able to better understand ourselves, especially our moods, our energy levels, and our natural tendencies during different times of the month.
Malka Chana Amichai, a certified Postpartum Doula, is passionate about helping women connect to their femininity. Her mission is to educate and support women to be active participants in their own life experiences. She expanded her practice to become a Prenatal Yoga instructor, a Kallah teacher who gives premarital education to brides, and a sexual health mentor. He main objective is to empower women in their womanhood and to facilitate their reconnection with the divine feminine that flows through all of us.
Below are the phases of our menstrual cycle, as they correspond to each season:
Menstrual Phase--Winter--just like when it's cold in the winter, we cuddle up with cozy socks and a warm blanket, and tend to stay home, during the time we are menstruating, women go inward. They want to spend more time at home; they tend to want to be by themselves; they do a lot of inner work and self-care during this time of the month.
Follicular Phase--Spring--just like in the spring when the flowers start blooming, and the weather starts getting warner, women start coming out of their shell more. They tend to want to be around people a bit more than during the menstrual phase. They experience more creativity, inspiration and hope.
Ovulation Phase--Summer--just like in the summer when it's hot and everything is in full bloom, women are more aroused, they want to be closer with their partner, they want to be around their friends and be much more social and outgoing. This is the phase of the month when they feel most connected to others.
Post Ovulation Phase--Fall--just like the fall is the transition between summer and winter, the post period phase is an in between time for women; a type of "nowhere zone," where we feel that we're neither here nor there. This is the time when we experience higher than usual anxiety.
If you are in the perimenopause or menopause phase of your life, you can still connect to your cycle through the phases of the moon.
Rosh Chodesh is a women's holiday, and it's marked by the New Moon.
New Moon--correlates with the menstruation phase (winter)
Waxing Moon--correlates with the follicular phase (spring)
Full Moon--correlates with the ovulation phase (summer)
Waning Moon--correlates with the post ovulation phase (fall)
Malka Chana also talks about how mothers can introduce the concept of menstruation and periods to her preteen or teenage daughter, and how mothers can transmit to them the beauty of being a woman.
For more information on Malka Chana, visit her website: https://www.bohemianbalabusta.com/about-me/
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Attachment styles are our emotional blueprint, formed in our childhood, for the way we give and receive love, and for our ability to feel safe and emotionally close to others. There are four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Each of these attachment styles is very clearly explained by Dr. Marnee Firestone, a licensed psychologist in Boca Raton, Florida.
1. Secure Attachment--this is the most healthy and balanced attachment style. The person is emotionally available for intimacy, as well as independence, without feeling fearful or guilty. They tend to be calm and well balanced. A person with secure attachment most likely received consistent love, validation and nurturing as a child.
2. Anxious attachment--someone with this attachment style has a deep fear of abandonment. They seek constant love and reassurance. They can be overly smothering. They panic easily and they feel overly responsible for everyone and everything. They feel a personal sense of failure if their child is struggling, and tend to micromanage their children. A person with anxious attachment style was most likely given inconsistent love and care. Their emotional needs were sometimes tended to, and other times rejected or dismissed.
3.Avoidant attachment--someone with avoidant attachment seeks to escape conflicts or arguments in the relationship. They are scared to show emotion or affection because they are scared of being rejected or neglected. They tend to withdraw from both intimacy and arguments for fear of not being accepted by their spouse. A person with avoidant attachment most likely did not have their emotional needs met.
4. Disorganized attachment--someone with disorganized attachment has a push/pull dynamic. They intensely crave closeness, but once someone gets close, they immediately push them away because real intimacy is scary for them. They are highly emotional, have a heightened fear of abandonment, and they are reactive. They have difficulty self-soothing, and they tend to attract chaos in relationships. Disorganized attachment develops as the result of trauma in childhood.
Dr. Marnee explains how each of these attachment styles shows up in marriage and parenting. You can change your attachment style by becoming aware of what your attachment style is, and working to emotionally regulate yourself so that you can think clearly and respond appropriately to the people and situations in your life.
If you would like Dr. Marnee's free e-book on 4 Tips To Reduce Anxiety in Your Teen, please email me at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
For families interested in Dr. Marnee's program, it is called Break the Anxiety Cycle. https://breakanxietycycle.com/
Dr. Marnee Firestone & Tamar Oppenheimer, LCSW, help parents of anxious teens by teaching them effective and practical strategies that are proven to support teens in building confidence, empowering them to pursue their goals, and ultimately bringing a sense of calm to stressed households. As we approach summer, many parents of anxious teens are searching for ways to reset and prepare their families for a better school year ahead. Break the Anxiety Cycle is a structured, parent-based program created to help families disrupt the patterns that unintentionally reinforce anxiety. Rather than placing the full burden on the teen, this program empowers parents with tools to create real change at home—reducing reactivity, rebuilding connection, and promoting resilience.Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
When you live your life with joy and calm, you can think more clearly and make better decisions.
Beverly Chimes is a social worker and a life coach with more than 20 years of experience. She is an expert at helping people untangle complex situations and relationships so that they can take care of their inner world and show up for themselves, and for others, with more ease.
In this lively conversation, Beverly teaches us how to avoid overwhelm and burnout.
The first thing that Beverly recommends to do is to take a few breaks in your day ON PURPOSE. Use those breaks to truly refresh you. Put your device down; no electronics. Have a snack while looking out the window. Step outside for 5 minutes to get a breath of fresh air. Sip on your iced coffee or drink a delicious glass of water while giving your brain and eyes a break from whatever it is that you were doing. Take this break on purpose, with a purpose--to clear your mind from chaos and allow it to relax and be calm.
The second thing that Beverly advises is to create joy ON PURPOSE. Identify a few things that you really enjoy doing (yoga, walking in nature, taking an art class, shopping, etc.) and schedule it into your calendar for a set day and time so that you can look forward to it. The more joyful things that you can regularly schedule for yourself, the better. When we do things in our lives that bring us joy, we become happier people. When we are happier, are thoughts become clear and our emotions begin to regulate and become balanced.
In order to further enhance our emotional regulation, we need to understand that thoughts create feelings/emotions, and those feelings/emotions create our actions. We act based off our feelings/emotions. If our emotions are not regulated, we tend to become explosive, rageful, anxious, and sad. We need to look at is what is actually happening before we become dysregulated. What thoughts were we having? What did those thoughts cause us to do? Quite often we have a narrative of our story playing and replaying in our minds every day; this could be things that happened in childhood, negative messages and limited beliefs. If we are thinking, and therefore living, from that negative place, we can't expect ourselves to emotionally regulate and we can't expect ourselves to be happy. In order to become emotionally regulated and happy, we need to work with someone to understand where our thoughts and limiting beliefs are coming from, and then discard those that no longer serve us.
To contact Beverly, visit her website: https://www.beverlychimes.com/
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Rebbetzin Chavi Welton, and her husband, Rabbi Levi Welton, were recently appointed shluchim (emissaries) for Chabad of Vanderbilt Alumni Association, working with your professionals in Manhattan. They will also be going on shlichus to Dix Hills, Long Island in New York, to help enhance outreach activities of the Chai Center. In addition to her spiritual work, Rebbetzin Chavi is also an OB-Gyn doctor!
Rebbetzin Chavi teaches us that childbirth has a very strong connection to Chasidus. She explains that according to Basi L'Gani, a Chassidic discourse written by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, the Jewish people are recognized as Hashem's bride, just like the woman is the bride to her husband, the chassan. Their purpose in this world is to elevate the mundane to the spiritual.
In terms of having a baby, the woman experiences a physical pregnancy and childbirth. She nurses, changes diapers, bathes, and provides necessary physical care for her infant. Spiritually, the Shechina is the feminine presence of Hashem (G-d.) Making a sacred space in our world for the Shechina to rest is a very feminine task. This is done by the woman as she raises her child to observe Hashem's commandments, and therefore elevates the physical to the spiritual, bringing holiness into the world.
The geula (coming of Moshiach) is often compared to childbirth. As the woman gets closer to actually birthing her child, her contractions get quicker and she experiences the most pain and discomfort. As we get closer to Moshiach being revealed, the Jewish people are experiencing various forms of severe suffering (hostages, war, anxiety, emotional disorders, etc.) May Moshiah come soon so that we can experience true pleasure and peace!
Rebbetzin Chavi teaches us something very interesting about the word Caesar. The word, Caesar, means to cut. Thousands of years ago, Julius Caesar's grandfather was delivered by someone cutting his great grand-mother's stomach open to pull out the baby. This name, Caesar, stuck to future generations of the family.
Caesar was a leader. A leader does what no one else can do. When they need something to happen, they will go to all lengths and extremes, literally breaking down walls (both physical and metaphorical) to make it happen. When a woman delivers a baby via Caesarian Section (C-Section), the doctor literally breaks down a wall (the mother's stomach) to take out the baby. Spiritually, it is said that the women will bring Moshiach by "breaking down walls" in their dedication to Hashem, keeping the mitzvos of the Torah, and raising children who act justly and morally, bringing Hashem's light into the world.
Rebbetzin Chavi goes on to speak about pregnancy and the post-partum period of childbirth, and shares insights as to how the chasidic perspective can enhance a woman's experiences in these phases of her life.
She also talks about the role that Chasidus plays in her job as a doctor and in her interactions with her patients. What resonated with me the most is the way she lives her life in total alignment with her Chasidic values and beliefs. She is an example of a righteous and wise Chasidic woman, and she conducts herself as such in the hospital with her patients. Leading by example, instead of forcing her beliefs on others, allows people to have the space to absorb her teachings and mannerisms, and to emulate them, if they choose to do so, out of their own accord.
Conact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
There is a narcissism pandemic in our world. For those who are in relationships with narcissists--whether it's your boyfriend/husband, mother/father or sibling, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not easy.
In this interview with Rikki Jacobson Davies, we learn how to identify the signs of a narcissist, and how to navigate our relationship with them. Rikki is the clinical director and founder of the Center for Relational Resilience. She is passionate about helping people heal from relational trauma with clarity, truth and resilience. A private clinician and lecturer, Rikki has developed a unique approach to healing from complicated, confusing, and painful relationships.
First, we need to recognize that being in a relationship with a narcissist falls into the category of relational trauma--trauma in the context of a close relationship. (This is different from trauma someone sustained that came from a more distant relationship, like a teacher, a community member, or a stranger.)
How do you actually know if your husband (or other family member) is a narcissist? A narcissist is a person who has a severely under developed sense of self; their basic emotional core is missing. This is a person who has an extremely fragile ego and needs another person to constantly validate them, appreciate them, see them hear them, focus on their needs exclusively, and build them up continuously because they can't do that for themselves. They are pre-occupied with validating and affirming their own existence and that they matter. Since they are very insecure, they will do anything they can to get their emotional sustenance from other people.
They will manipulate and intimidate until they get their way. One tactic of manipulation is love bombing--flooding someone with a lot of love and loving gestures to either bring them into a relationship initially, or pull them back into the relationship when they try to leave.
While most people develop their sense of self as young children, narcissists seemed to skip that step due to circumstances in their early childhood years that prevented normal inner growth and development. While people don't enjoy being criticized, a healthy person can take critique, learn from it and grow from it without throwing a temper tantrum or flying into a rage. Criticism to a narcissist is like kryptonite to a narcissist. They avoid criticism at all costs because their fragile ego simply cannot handle it.
So how can we deal with the narcissist in our lives? According to Rikki, people to set aside their own personal finances so that they feel as financially secure as possible, in case they need to leave the relationship, so that they don't have to rely on the narcissist for money.
Rikki encourages us to get support from family and friends. We need to find our people--those who will listen to us, encourage us, and stand by us. When we build relationships with friends and family who envelop us with love and positivity, we build a life for ourselves outside of our relationship with the narcissist. We can still be happy and whole people who are in a relationship that did not go the way they dreamed. Whether you decide to stay in the relationship or leave, YOU have your own innate value and worth that has nothing to do with the narcissist. You can have a beautiful life despite of your relationship.
You can reach Rikki through her website: www.relationalresilience.com
You can also email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Are you in a confusing relationship? This type of relationship most often occurs within families. It could be with your husband, mother, father, sister, in-laws, or even with your extended family.
Is there someone who intentionally or unintentionally gaslights you or sends you mixed messages, causing you to doubt your self-worth, your values or core beliefs?
Maybe you have a parent who consistently invalidates your feelings? Or perhaps you have a husband who doesn't move toward your bid to connect? Their behavior isn't outwardly "out to get you," but it makes you start to question yourself, your feelings, and how you experience the world. Their behavior causes you to doubt yourself, and think that maybe there is something wrong with you. It might even be making you feel guilty for something that is not your fault.
If you are in a confusing relationship, you might be managing other people's behavior in order to protect yourself...and you are also managing your own reactions so as not to agitate other people's emotions. This can be exhausting!
Also, did you know that people can exhibit self-centered narcissistic behavior without actually having a narcissistic disorder?
In this truly insightful conversation with Shev Simon, an IFS (Internal Family Systems Practitioner), she sheds lights on confusing relationships so that women make sense of their experiences and show up in life with more calm and ease.
For more information and to schedule a chat with Shev, you can reach her here:Website: shevsimoncoaching.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/shev.simon.9
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
"We died a thousand deaths before we were murdered," is the stand out quote from today's conversation with Rebbetzin Lisa Cook, rebbetzin of the Cincinnati Jewish Experience (CJX). This quote says it all!
Rebbetzin Lisa is teaches mikvah education to Jewish women of all backgrounds and levels, works as a mikvah attendant at the Cincinnati community mikvah, is part of the Cincy chevra kadisha, and is currently in the 3rd cohort of the Core MMC Program led by Rebbetzins Aliza Bulow, Debbie Greenblatt, and Rochel Goldbaum.
One of the aspects of her job that Rebbetzin Lisa is most passionate about is taking people on trips to Poland, where they experience what life was like for the Jews of Poland before, during, and after the Holocaust. Rebbetzin Lisa's groups visit concentration camps, such as Treblinka and Auschwitz, cemetaries such as the Warsaw Cemetary, and other historical sites like the Warsaw Ghetto and Bialystok.
The men and women who participate in these trips are not just learning about Jewish history in Poland, they are experiencing the sites and the stories first hand. They are standing in the same places where their ancestors stood, just a few decades ago. They hear stories of what pre-war Poland was like, from the Polish people themselves--Jews and non-Jews alike. This experience is incredibly personal and life-changing for many.
Kosher food is provided for the people on the trip, as they are deeply affected, inspired, awed and empowered by what they are witnessing.
If you would like to participate in a Poland Experience trip with Rebbetzin Lisa, please contact me, and I will put you in touch with her. I can be reached via email at: atrebbetzins@gmail.com Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit:https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
"How can you expect your husband to treat you like a woman when you don't act like one?" This is a quote that was shared with us during our interesting conversation on Hasidic Feminism.
Chava Green, an educator, writer, and public speaker, has a PhD in Religion from Emory, where she wrote her dissertation on Hasidic Feminism. Chava explains that secular feminism focuses on the equality of men and women. The differences between them seem to have been erased. There is a notion that women can, and should, do everything that men can do.
In contrast, Hasidic feminism believes that there is, in fact, a difference between men and women. Women and men have different roles, but the importance of those roles is equal. It's not that one gender is better or more powerful than the other. Rather, men and women work together and each of their roles are necessary and also complementary to each other.
Women create the holiness and sanctity of the home through their bina yeseira--their deep understanding of what's happening under the surface. They are able to nurture their families from a different place than men. They have access to a softer place of connection and wisdom of what needs to be done--more than what meets the eye. Women function beyond the surface to see actual reality, which is not always the way it presents itself. The power and glory of a woman is what is within her. She accepts what is, and elevates it.
Chava shares the concept that men are the givers and women are the receivers. Women don't have to do it all. They don't need to have the masculine energy of pushing forward and accomplishing and getting things done. If women feel overwhelmed, they should daven to Hashem (G-d) to help them become a receiver. We need to look for Hashem in every situation.
Chava encourages women to be their whole feminine selves!To hear more from Dr. Chava Green check out her website at https://thehasidicfeminist.wordpress.com/ or sign up for her monthly newsletter on all things Jewish and gender related, https://the-hasidic-feminist.kit.com/16d7257907
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose. To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
In any darkness that you are going through, there is light. In your depression, in your anxiety, in your co-dependency, there is light. It's actually the darkest darkness that leads us to the light light.Rachy Friedlander is an Emotional Mastery Coach and a TEB Practitioner (TEB stands for Transforming the Experience-Based Brain.) In this fascinating interview, Rachy talks to us about the vital role that regulating our nervous system has on our body and our soul. If we have suffered from trauma in our lives, or our needs were unmet, or we felt like we were in survival mode for extended periods of time, our bodies hold those traumas and fears.
Over time, we begin to operate in survival mode, even if no one is threatening us. Rachy talks about nervous system regulation so that we can FINALLY calm ourselves down and begin to feel safe. It's the feeling of safety that is the core of emotional healing. One way to begin feeling safe is to stop and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. You heart rate will slow down, and you will begin to feel safe. Once we feel safe, we can observe our emotions--anger, sadness, frustration, fear, happiness, melancholy, etc. It's important that we observe our emotions WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.
Rachy goes on to explain the kabbalistic aspect of emotional healing. She tell us that every feeling, every emotion, every desire, every thought, every word, and every action that you have ever had, are having right now, or will have, is encompassed in the concept of All Is. Everything inside of you and outside of you is part of All Is. Everything (All) was put in place by Hashem (G-d) for our own good; to help us achieve our higher purpose. Ask yourself, "Am I safe right now?" Take into account what is realistically happening for you right now--WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. Don't judge your feelings or emotions; just observe what is. Creating safety and emotional regulation inside of yourself will slowly, over time, help you feel whole. Own your wholeness.Rachy has an incredible online course called, Becoming Your Own Therapist. This course, as well as more information on Rachy, and the opportunity to work with her to achieve your own healing, is offered on her website: https://www.coachrachy.com/about
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Redemption, tranquility, peace, love, and happiness...GEULA!No matter where you are in your marriage (newlywed, married for 30 years, happily married, on the verge of divorce), the tools and strategies that Rebbetzin Chana Margulies, co-founder of Geula Wives, shared in this conversation, is going to take your relationship with your husband to a NEW LEVEL!
In this very refreshing and eye opening conversation, Rebbetzin Chana talks about women taking 100% control over their own happiness. If we even think our husband is responsible for just 1% of our happiness, we find ourselves focusing all our energy on that 1% and focusing on the lack therein. Rebbetzin Chana speaks in depth about how we can focus on ourselves, an fill up our bucket so that we can be happy in our own right without waiting for someone else to make us happy. She distinguishes between doing and being in your feminine.
When a Jewish woman is happy in her home, she bring geula energy to her marriage and to the world around her.
Rebbetzin Chana also speaks about revitalizing a challenging marriage. She discusses how a woman can see miracles, even if she finds herself at the end of her rope in a marriage, if she refocuses her vision of marriage and has a clear direction of where she is going within her marriage. This offers her the perfect opportunity to focus on cleaning up resentment and disrespect in her marriage, instead of waiting and insisting on her husband to change. (When we want people to change, they don't....so what do we do instead? Listen to what Rebbetzin Chana has to say--she is wise beyond her years!)
Hashem arranges all marriages. You don't marry someone by mistake. Your marriage has a Divine purpose. There is a reason that you are married to this particular person (even if they are driving you crazy.) But you can't go on this marriage journey alone.
Speaking to a coach at Geula Wives takes the pressure off you and gives you strategies and support to renew your relationship with your husband. You are not alone. You have support.
To Learn more about Geulawives and to be in touch with Chana Margulies contact admin@geulawives.org
or What's App +44 741 862 7582
To receive free geulawives content subscribe here, GeulaWives.org
To join the Pre-Peseach/ Sefirat HaOmer program visit GeulaWives Circle
Your special coupon code is SEFIRA
To join the free What's App group click here https://chat.whatsapp.com/DiKcfYJZnul3TSAWUlSUqi
To read Chana’s books click here.
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
If G-d didn't need YOU, He would not have woken YOU up today. You are here because you are NEEDED.A Jew is never Stuck. People are built to stand upright because their minds rule over their hearts.Mitzvot are the spiritual clothing of the soul. They are your responsibility, and they give you purpose. Mitzvot are a connection point between you and Hashem.
Above are just some of the deep insights that Rebbetzin Chani Shemtov, a Chabad Emissary at the University of Illinois in Chicago, shares with us in this very powerful conversation. We start off speaking about the Modeh Ani prayer, which is the very first thing that we say when we wake up in the morning. This prayer doesn't have Hashem's name in it. This is because we have just awoken from sleep, and we need to do the traditional washing of our hands (netilat yadayim ) before we say Hashem's name.
However, Modeh Ani is said right when we wake up, before we wash our hands. It is for this reason that Hashem's name is not said during this prayer. The first word of the Modeh Ani prayer is "Modeh," translated in English as "grateful." We literally start off our day with gratitude. It has been scientifically researched, studied, and proven that gratitude leads to happiness. By starting off our day with being grateful that G-d gave our soul back to us, we are beginning on a positive, optimistic, and happy note. (When we sleep, we are 1/60 dead, so G-d needs to restore our soul to us in order for us to wake up. We are therefore grateful to Him for giving us life, each and every day.)
Remember, if G-d woke you up, He gave you life. The reason He gave you life is because you have a purpose in this world that you still have an opportunity to fulfil. Otherwise, He would not have woken you up.Following the Modeh Ani prayer, we have the morning blessings, birkot hashakar. These are a series of 15 blessings. Each of these blessings begin with the words, "Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe...," and then goes on to mention specific things.Rebbetzin Chani and I spoke about several of the 15 blessings, in detail.We talked about, "Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe, Who frees those who are bound." From this, we learn that a Jew is never stuck. We have free will every single moment of the day. What we said or did 5 minutes ago, yesterday, or last year, doesn't need to define what we do or who we are 10 minutes from now. Hashem recreates the world every single moment. Because of this, we are never stuck, and we always have the ability to move forward in any direction, at any moment.
Then, we spoke about, "Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe, Who stands upright those who are bent over." Many animals are made such that their head, heart and lower organs are on the same level. However, humans are created such that our head is on top, our heart is below our head, and then come our lower organs. This structure shows that our head rules our conduct, not our emotions, or our desires. It is the head that must make clear choices for us to follow. We then get to the controversial blessing that a man says in the morning, "Blessed are You, Hashem, our G-d, King of the universe, for not having made me a woman." The reason behind this blessing is that mitzvot are a point of connection between Hashem and humans. In His infinite wisdom, Hashem gave men more commandments that He gave to women. They need these commandments for their spiritual growth, and since they are commanded with more mitzvot, they have a more points of connection to Him than women. Women, however, do have many mitzvot that they have the responsibility to fulfil. However, they are not confined to time-bound mitzvot because their primary responsibility is taking care of their family. Rebbetzin Chani explains this beautifully!
If you don't know how to read Hebrew, you can say the blessings in your native language.
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Are you in need of a blessing for something? Good health? Money? Shiduchim? Improving your marriage? Getting pregnant? Parenting children? or literally anything else?
Rabbi Shimshon Chaim Nachmani promised blessings to those who learn his holy sefer, Zera Shimshon, consistently. This could be once a day, once a week, once a month, as long as it is on a consistent basis, you will see blessings in your life.
Rabbi Nachmani is an 18th century Jewish Italian kabbalist who wrote mefarshim (commentary) on many of the holy texts. He has commentaries on the Torah parsha of the week, on Tehillim (Psalms), and on other holy books as well.Through learning Zera Shimson (translated as the seed of Shimshon), we begin to have increased menuhas hanefesh (calmness of the soul), emunah (faith in G-d), and bitachon (trust in G-d). Our day becomes more meaningful and spiritual. We are able to think more clearly.
In this mesmerizing interview with Rebbetzin Esti Goodstein, principal of Shalsheles Bais Yaakov High School in Brooklyn, New York, we learn all about the Zera Shimshon, including the Zera Shimshon on parshat Pekudei about shabbos. Rebbetzin Esti is a graduate of Machon Bais Yaakov Intensive Seminary, and has been in the field of education for several years. She has a Masters' Degree in Psychology from Columbia University. She has also taught in Prospect Park High School, Machon Bais Yaakov High School, Orot Sarah High School, Touro University, Gamla College, and Manhattan High School for Girls.
Rebbetzin Esti emphasizes that tests (nissayanos) happen in life. Sometimes we go through something that is very hard for us, but there is always hope for salvation and growth, especially if we learn Torah through Zera Shimshon.
To be added to Rebbetzin Esti's Zera Shimson group, please email Vera Kessler, host of America's Top Rebbetzins at atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Every Hebrew month has its own unique energy that is specific to that month. The energy of Nissan is that of new beginnings and miracles--POWERFULIn the month of Nissan, G-d does for us, as opposed to in Tishrei, when we do for G-d. So what did G-d do for us in Nissan? He took us out of Egypt! In the story of Pesach (Passover), Hashem (G-d) physically took us out of Egypt (Mitzrayim.)
The word, Mitzrayim, means narrow or limited. Hashem took us out of a limited place, and into an open, expanded place--eretz Israel. On a personal level, during the month of Nissan, Hashem helps take each and every one of us out of our own personal Mitzrayim, our own personal limitations. We can use the energy of Nissan to begin removing our own personal klippot--shells/blockages, LIMITATIONS. When we work on eliminating our personal limitations, G-d helps us. Once we remove our limitations, we have boundless, endless capacity to actualize our potential in this world, and fulfill our life mission.
On a national level, our limitation is that we are not a unified people; we are fragmented. However, the month of Nissan is not only the month of new beginnings, but it is also the month of miracles. When we unite as a nation, Hashem can literally make miracles for us, like He did with the splitting of the Sea of Reeds (Red Sea.)The astrological sign for Nissan is Aries, the ram. This animal, the ram, is associated with the lamb. At the time that the Jews were in Egypt, the lamb was worshiped as an idol by the Egyptians. Hashem commanded the Jews to take a lamb into their house, tie it to their bedpost, and then kill it. Then, they were commanded to smear the lamb of the blood on their doorpost, in the place which we now put up a mezuzah, indicating to the angel of death that he should jump or skip over this house because it was a Jewish house. In this way, the Jews elevated an idol from being something that was wrongfully worshiped, into something that was elevated by being used to save lives.
Rebbetzin Mattie Pil suggests that we can take our modern day idol of technology and use it to listen to Torah classes, Torah podcasts, read Jewish texts online, and overall use this "idol" for holy purposes.Rebbetzin Mattie, also shares with us that the Hebrew letter associated with the month of Nisan is the letter "hey." She explains that G-d created the world with the letter, "hey," as He spoke the world into existence. We can use our words to tap into our G-dly soul through prayer, which is a form of meditation with our Creator.
Rebbetzin Mattie, is the rebbetzin of the Schneerson Center, a synagogue in San Francisco, California. She has been an educator for over 40 years. She is also a certified life coach, and teaches kabbala for women.
Contact: atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
Before we say angry words, we control them. After angry words are said, they control you.Your husband left the dirty dishes in the sink...again. Your son forgot to call to let you know that he will be home late. Your daughter said something insulting to you. Your mother was "less than helpful" when it came to shopping for dresses. Family members have that knack for saying or doing things that make us angry, and drive us crazy.
So what should we do?
In this beautiful conversation with Rebbetzin Natalie Ciner, rebbetzin of Beth Jacob Congregation of Irvine, California, we learn how to navigate challenging relationships with wisdom and kindness.The first things we learn are that anger is a natural emotion, and marriage is a vehicle for growth. The way we manage our emotions in relationships is a pathway for our own personal growth and elevation. So how do we do that?
1. See marriage as a growth opportunity. Your spouse is a mirror for the areas in which we need to grow. (It can be uncomfortable to look inside ourselves and see that there are things we need to change. It can be painful. However, it's important to know that the things our spouse says and does can be important messages for our own inner work and self growth---if we are brave enough to look inside and interpret them that way.)
2. Instead of being frustrated, try to see what this particular person (your spouse, child, family member, etc.) is trying to teach you.
3. Judge your spouse favorably. Assume the best of the situation, instead of assuming the worst.
4. Express your needs. Don't look to blame the other person.
5. Strengthen your connection and bond with your husband. Spend quality time with him. You can go out on dates, walks, spend time together in the house, or do anything else that brings you close together and builds connection.
When you build a good quality, healthy relationship, it will become easier for you to solve life's inevitable challenges and issues together, without a significant build up of anger. However, anger does come up--we are human, after all. So what do we do when we get angry? How can we express our feelings constructively?
1. Pause before reacting. Make space between yourself and your reaction. Go for a walk. Go out of the room. Take deep breaths. Take a break. Give yourself time and space to calm down before responding
2. Talk to yourself with soothing, positive self-talk. Show yourself compassion for the feelings you are experiencing, and provide yourself with soothing words and strength. Once you have gotten yourself under control, you will better be able to handle the situation with grace, and not blame.
3. Use this challenge, disagreement, or situation with this person as an opportunity for self-reflection.
4. Use "I" statements. Say things like "I felt hurt when you didn't call me when you were running late," instead of "You drive me crazy when you don't call me when you are late! It's so inconsiderate of you!" Using I statements allows you to express your feelings, instead of blaming someone. Look for solution, not for blame.
To be connected to Rebbetzin Nathalie, please email Vera Kessler, host of America's Top Rebbetzins at atrebbetzins@gmail.com
Vera Kessler (host of America's Top Rebbetzins) is a certified life coach. She specializes in transformational life coaching and accountability coaching. She is also a motivational speaker. Vera's mission is to help women get out of survival mode and start thriving. She works with women who are committed to stepping into their own self-worth and creating the life they want to live--one that is full of joy, empowerment, meaning, and purpose.
To learn more, visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
