This week’s episode is all about unexpected visitors. When Mary the neighbor girl stops by to visit, it isn’t just her presence that’s a surprise. It’s the guest she’s carrying in her womb that has the girls in shock. Another scary visitor is Blanche’s pen pal, Merrill, who has been released from prison early and will do whatever it takes to meet Blanche. So come along as we talk teen pregnancy stats, Dan Quayle, and the worst Godzilla, in Mary Has A Little Lamb.

Happy Ho Ho Holidays, it’s two weeks after Christmas! After the girls exchange gifts with one another, they all decide to help Rose and her church serve meals to the hungry. They’re shocked to see children come in for a warm meal, and even more shocked when Stan-ta Claus joins them. So bring along your jingle bells, football phones, Matt McCoys, and lark recipes as you Have Yourself A Very Little Christmas.

When Blanche gets a call from Big Daddy, she is, per usual, more concerned with her goings-on than what her father needs. A choice she lives to regret when Big Daddy passes away the next day. This sends Blanche into an ebb tide and onto a plane to Georgia, with Dorothy by her side. As she deals with that, Rose is dealing with Sophia- who has become a boarding room manager, bartender, and party host. There is a lot on everyone’s Citrus Ball Queen plates, so let’s get to it with today’s episode, Ebb Tide.

Today’s title comes from a musical. I’m not sure if it’s from All that Jazz- the 1979 movie about Bob Fosse’s life or from Bob Fosse’s 1975 smash, Chicago. It was probably chosen because in today’s episode, Michael Zbornak pays his mother a surprise visit. During which she learns his life is basically falling apart and he’s even quit his gig playing sax in a band. So come along as Dorothy learns about tough love, Blanche learns about the Rough variation, Rose fights back- again- and Sophia remains the old one in today’s episode All That Jazz.

When Dorothy’s high school friend passes away, she starts to evaluate her life and the goals she set for it. The bummer train doesn’t end there! Rose is unliked by a co-worker, Blanche is being audited, and Sophia is still the old one. Come along as we talk Polident, Palmolive, and stand-up in Comedy of Errors.

When Blanche is visited by her brother-in-law, she’s swept off her feet..by her imagination. Because Jamie is so much like her late husband George, it’s hard for her to see the difference in the men. While she’s dealing with the potential of becoming Mrs. Devereaux, Rose and Dorothy are dealing with a stubborn Sophia who keeps stealing cars to go on unapproved joy rides. So, come along as we talk Password, car phones, and Mr. Magoo in That Old Feeling.

This week is all about the circle of life. While the girls deal with the Lillistrand baby, his winky, and an ear infection, Sophia is dealing with her elderly friend, who feels her cycle has come to an end. It’s not the easiest conversation, but it’s an important one. Listener discretion that today’s episode will contain talks of suicide, how to get help, and also upsettingly, Garfield.

When Rose finds a man who makes her heart sing and her feet swing, she’s as giddy as a school girl. Or maybe I should say as giddy as a college student - because her new beau Miles is a college professor! As impressive as that is, the intelligence difference has Rose feeling self-conscious and unlovable. Even when Blanche and Dorothy try to help, it doesn’t and Rose gives up on finding love. It will take persistence from Miles and support from her friends for Rose to finally understand how unique and lovable she really is. So join us as we talk Shostakovich, Miles, and the disappearance of Glen Miller in today’s episode, Dancing In The Dark.

When Dorothy ends up dating a hotshot lawyer, she thinks she may have found the one. But when he opens up about his true life’s passion, she isn’t sure they have the stuff to make it long-term. So come along as we join a protest, discuss bycatch(so I’m warning you now), turning Irish, and being Kenough in today’s episode, Love Under The Big Top.

When Rose learns she will no longer be receiving Charlie’s pension- she starts to panic. The worry is understandable. Without that money, she doesn’t know how she’ll buy food, clothes or most importantly, how she’ll stay living with her girls! So come along as we meet Enrique Mas, Enrique Mas, Beth Grant, the Gremlin, and more in today’s episode Rose Fights Back.

When Blanche and her daughter Rebecca 2.0 have a visit, it seems they’ve made that awkward transition from child/parent relationship to parent, child, adult friend relationship. That is until Rebecca announces she’s made a major life decision that rubs Blanche the wrong way. As the days go on, Rebecca hopes her mother can be open enough to accept her choices, but it won’t be that easy. So join us as we visit a sperm bank, talk about long rubber gloves, and scream for the governess in The Accurate Conception.

It’s part two of our season 5 opener! Still feeling sick and tired, Dorothy visits even more doctors, but this time, she’s believed! Finally getting answers, Dorothy is ready to celebrate. Another housemate feeling celebratory, and perhaps more than a bit loopy is Blanche, who claims she has finished her great American novel. But she also claims egg yolks in a bag are eyeballs, so she’s not in a place to be trusted. In the end, Dorothy gets to give a bit of a comeuppance, Sophia gets to give a spit take, Rose gives Blanche a what-for, and Blanche, well, she screams. So join us now for part two of Sick and Tired.

When Dorothy comes down with a mysterious illness, she begins the epic journey of diagnosis via multiple opinons. Sadly for Dorothy, she’s an unwell woman in 1989. So every male doctor she’s seen has dismissed her claims as being due to either old age or a mental health issue. But she won’t give up and neither will Sophia- the protective mother always by her side…helping. While Dorothy deals with all of that and Rose supports her, Blanche is busy pursuing her destiny as a romance novel writer…even if she hasn’t written a single word. Come along as we go to the doctors, a BBQ and New York City in Part 1 of Sick and Tired.

We’ve made it to part 2 of the two-part season finale! Join us as we wrap up season 4 with some visits to seasons 1, 2, and 3. This journey will take us to Gone with the Wind, Suzanne Somers, Bob Hope, Anita Bryant, screaming chickens, Swept Away, and Ellen Burstyn! Through all of this, there really is only one question- will Blanche sell the house? Let’s find out as we finish the season with We’re Outta Here Part 2.

It’s the end of the season, almost, and it’s a clip show! How dare they end the season with not just a clip show made up of old clips, not original ones like Bedtime Stories or Rites of Spring. Oh no, it’s a TWO PARTER! Now that’s just rude. But it’s fun to revisit some of the best times from the past 4 seasons. Even if it’s just clips will we have a great time, of course! So let’s get to dancing, praying and showbiz chickens in part one of We’re Outta Here!!

When Sophia’s old friends come to town, they have some exciting news- their daughter is getting married! They also have some surprising news- their daughter isn’t the woman they brought with them, it’s Dorothy! This is devastating to the Patrillo women who are left wondering if they’re actually related to each other. Will they take a blood test? Will our hearts collectively break learning they aren’t? Will Blanche ever learn how to make her body sexy at her dirty dancing class? Will we be able to purchase Rose’s athletic dancewear line? All of that and more in today’s episode, Foreign Exchange.

When the girls realize it’s almost time for their friend’s summer kickoff party, they then also realize they need to get into shape for said party. As they sit around the table commiserating, they try to come up with new ways of losing weight quickly by revisiting other attempts they’ve made at improving their appearance in the past. So join us as we join the girls as they give aerobics a try, seek self-esteem with a new hairdo, and reject a new way of thinking- brought to them by Stan. Will the girls lose the few pounds they feel they need to? Will Sophia find her missing pound? Will we, as a culture, ever stop valuing ourselves based on our appearance? All of that and more in today’s episode, Rites of Spring.

When Sophia learns her friend has been sent to a care facility that makes Shady Pines look like the Ritz-Carlton, she goes into action. But helping a friend who needs to be taken care of takes more than goodwill. Will Lillian become a permanent resident on Richmond Street? Will Rose get arrested for adult-napping? Will Blanche’s boobies become bigger, bouncier, and more bountiful? All of that and more in today’s episode- Sophia’s Choice.

When Rose’s little sister comes to town, she’s not excited. She’s always felt like her sister had it out for her. That she was building a campaign against her so Rose would be left out. The girls don’t believe her, or that her sister is fooling with Blanche’s beau. Will Rose be vindicated? Will her sister get busted? Will Sophia ever find Dreyfus the dog after losing him? All of that and more in today’s episode- Little Sister.

After Sophia accidentally disposes of Rose’s medication, everyone learns she’s been addicted to prescription medication for 30 years! So it’s time for the girls to band together and support their friend. Even though Sophia and Dorothy have a pizza commercial to shoot in the morning, they’re happy to stay by Rose’s side to get through the night. Their intentions are good, but will they help cure Rose’s addiciton, and will Dorothy and Sophia kickstart their acting career with their commercial? Will we learn more about the video equipment in Blanche’s room? All of that and more in today’s episode, High Anxiety.