Speaking to the manager



I want to speak to the manager. Rather, I want to speak to your manager.



What do you think of when I say that? Do you think of the structure of your current employer? Do you make a joke that it’s your cat? Is there a spouse joke in there for you? Or are you immediately defensive?



There’s a reason you may be defensive, and rightly so.



Hypnosis, logging in as administrator, and reaching the manager



Have you ever been hypnotized? Have you ever had administrative access to a computer? Have you ever asked to speak to someone’s manager or been witness to someone else doing that?



Let’s talk about how all of these things are related, why it’s normal to be defensive, talking to someone else’s manager, and talking to your own manager.







Alchemy for Life™ podcast explores themes of experimental psychology, relationships, cognitive science, human behavior, mental models, consciousness, and psychological insights. We uncover hidden truths and ways to improve your life and get things done, or reduce stress and relax.



The latest book is BeCAUSE! The fundamental psychological building blocks that enable you to, or prevent you from, accomplishing anything, everything, and nothing.











Transcript







Can I Speak to Your Manager?



“I want to speak to the manager.”



Or rather, I want to speak to your manager. Can I do that?



When I ask that question, your mind might immediately go to the structure of your business. Some might joke that their manager is their spouse, or even their cat. But if you’ve been a listener of this podcast, you know where I’m really going with this. I want to know who, or what, is directing your actions.



So, let’s be honest: Who is your manager?



Defining Your Inner Manager



First, let’s define what a manager is. It’s someone responsible for controlling, administering, and directing a part of a company. If it’s your manager, it’s someone responsible for your actions. This is where the trope of “I want to speak to the manager” comes from; you know you can only go so far with the person at the front counter because they don’t have the power to go against a certain rule. You need to talk to the person who can make an exception.



Now, let’s apply that metaphor to you. Think of your brain and the way you manage your life as an organization. You have your ground crew—your instincts and daily impulses. And then you have your higher brain functions—your core values, your logic, the part of you that says, “This is who I am. This is where the buck stops.”



That is your manager.



The Power and Risk of “Admin Access”



There’s a reason people don’t just walk up to you and say, “Hey, I want to talk to the manager immediately.” We have established mannerisms and relationships that grant us that level of access. When someone says, “Let’s be real,” “Let’s be honest,” or “Can I be candid with you?” those are all ways of phrasing, “I want to speak to the manager.”



Asking to talk to someone’s manager in this metaphorical way is like asking for administrative access to who they...