Tonight, as I mark 37 years of both sobriety and Buddhist practice, I want to share three important lessons Buddhism has taught me. In our small group, take a moment to reflect: What are three things you've learned from Buddhism or meditation? Even if you're new or just curious, consider what insights, if any, have stood out to you on this path. What are 3 things you’ve learned? What are 3 things you’re hoping to learn?

Tonight’s Dharma talk focuses on mindfulness of the body—our relationship to our physical form, and the Buddha’s teachings on meditating with an awareness of the body’s impermanence. The Buddha encourages us to recognize the body is subject to aging, sickness, and death, and not to see it as our identity or true self. Instead, the body is a temporary process, always changing. How’s your relationship to your body? How identified are you to your body? How much do you take your body personally when you’re hurt?

Tonight, my plan is mostly to do Q&A—to see what’s on your mind, answer any questions you might have about meditation, Buddhism, or any particular teachings, practices, or perspectives that you’re curious about. But before we dive into questions, let’s pause for a moment. I’d like to share some reflections. Earlier, I was asked to talk about the Buddha’s teaching of the second arrow. This teaching tells us that life often brings its share of pain and difficulty—almost as if we’re shot by an arrow simply by being alive, having a body, a nervous system, and a mind. Painful experiences are inevitable; this is the first arrow, the dukkha, or the first noble truth. It’s unavoidable. However, much of what the Buddha taught—and the essence of the path toward enlightenment and liberation—is about the second arrow. The second arrow is what we do in response to pain: we add aversion, judgment, fear, or anger. Our reaction to pain becomes another source of suffering, compounding the difficulty of the original experience. The practice, then, is learning not to shoot ourselves with that second arrow. Why aren’t you completely at peace? Why aren’t you happy all of the time?

Tonight, I want to explore the theme of dependent origination—how everything is shaped by what came before, how our reactions and choices are influenced by our conditioning, and where karma fits in. So, how much free will do you think we really have? Are we truly in charge of our responses, or do we sometimes feel like we're just reacting out of habit, shaped by past experiences, family, religion, and society? That's the big question for tonight: how much agency do we actually have over our lives, and how much is simply conditioning at work? How much free will do we actually have? Are you totally in charge of all of your reactions?

One of the topics I'll discuss tonight is generosity and the Buddhist teachings on the importance of giving, non-attachment, and sharing. Generosity isn't limited to money—it's also about offering time, energy, and service. Consider: How do you practice generosity in your own life? Do you volunteer somewhere regularly? Do you give a portion of your income to organizations or nonprofits? In some traditions, such as tithing, people commit to giving 10% of their income. Reflect on whether you allocate a certain percentage of your resources to giving. Do you mentor others, sponsor someone, or offer your skills and help for free, simply out of a desire to serve? Maybe you find fulfillment in volunteering at an animal shelter, a hospice, or offering help wherever it's needed.

Take a moment to reflect on something from your past that was difficult, unpleasant, or even painful. It might have been truly challenging—perhaps even tragic—but somehow, in time, you ended up benefiting from it. You know those experiences that, while you’re in the thick of them, feel unbearable? Frustrating, painful, filled with loss or hardship. Yet when you look back, you realize that, despite all the difficulty, you grew. You learned something invaluable. Maybe you found sobriety, discovered meditation, started therapy—whatever it was, that hardship became the catalyst for positive change in your life.

I'm going to talk tonight about a few different things, but one of the main themes I've been reflecting on is what the Buddha calls "becoming"—this tendency of our mind to believe we'll finally be happy when we get somewhere else, when we become something else, when there's a destination to reach.

I'm going to touch on a few different topics tonight. I just returned from a retreat last week, and I’d like to share some reflections from that experience. One of the key themes I want to explore is the practice of making the Dharma, meditation, and the Eightfold Path—essentially the practices of Buddhism—a true priority in our lives.

Today, I will be discussing the concept of personal responsibility—the notion that we are accountable for our own happiness as well as our suffering. Buddhism presents a non-theistic approach to life, which frames this perspective. I encourage you to participate regardless of your beliefs; there is no requirement to identify as Buddhist or accept any specific doctrine. You are welcome to join us, explore these concepts, and maintain your current beliefs. I am always interested in examining our individual convictions, and I find it valuable for us to reflect on what we truly believe.

Tonight, I’d like to share a topic that serves as both an icebreaker and a way to connect more deeply with others. I’ll be speaking about Buddhism, specifically its core focus: freeing ourselves from suffering. Enlightenment or awakening in Buddhist thought is defined as reaching a state where we no longer create unnecessary suffering in our lives. While these ideas are interconnected, I’ll separate them for clarity in tonight’s discussion. To end suffering, we can cultivate two key practices: non-attachment to pleasure and compassion. Through meditation, we can develop compassion as a skill—learning to meet our pain with kindness and understanding. Similarly, we can practice non-attachment, letting go of the tendency to cling to pleasurable experiences. These two approaches together guide us toward a life of greater balance and freedom.

I had several ideas for Dharma talks for tonight, but none of them feel authentic to me at the moment. It seems like I was reaching for a topic instead of choosing one that I am passionate about and connected to. Therefore, instead of delivering a Dharma talk, I will conduct a Q&A session. However, the Q&A can take the form of a Dharma talk if the right questions are asked. You are welcome to ask any question, whether you are at home or in the room. Your questions can be about your Buddhist practice, your life, or topics on which you seek a Buddhist perspective. They can also address Buddhist teachings or any aspect of life you would like some Buddhist reflections on.

To initiate the meditation practice, it is important to understand the Four Noble Truths, which are central principles of Buddhist teachings. The first noble truth states that there is the existence of suffering, which can also be referred to as unhappiness. This level of unhappiness is natural and an inherent part of life, not attributable to personal fault. The second noble truth traditionally explains that the cause of suffering or unhappiness is craving and attachment. Clinging to desires results in unhappiness. The third noble truth asserts that it is indeed possible to overcome this suffering, often described as enlightenment or nirvana.

I prefer to begin class by providing a topic for discussion. Tonight, instead of delivering a planned Dharma talk, I will take topics from the group. For the small groups, consider what aspects of Buddhism or dharma life are on your mind. Think about questions you have, areas where your practice is evolving, or topics that are relevant to your life. Discuss these with each other.

Today is considered one of the most significant days in Buddhism. It is the most sacred day of the Buddhist calendar. Buddhists believe that the full moon in May marks three important events in the Buddha's life: his birth, enlightenment, and passing into Parinirvana. Different Buddhist traditions celebrate these events at various times, usually in the spring. Some observe it in April, some in May, and others in June. However, May is particularly significant for the Theravada and Thai Forest traditions.

Earlier, I asked a friend what I should discuss tonight. He mentioned feeling confused about his life and relationships and suggested talking about confusion. According to dictionary.com, confusion is defined as a lack of understanding or uncertainty, a disorderly jumble, or being unclear in one's mind about something.

Buddhism primarily concerns itself with the nature of suffering and the methods by which it can be alleviated through individual effort. The Buddha consistently emphasized that his teachings focused solely on the truth of suffering, its causes, and the path to end suffering. He often refrained from addressing more esoteric questions, stating that he was not an astrologer but a teacher of how we suffer and how we might overcome it. A thought worth reflecting upon is how much of our human suffering stems from taking things personally, even when they may indeed be personal matters. A significant portion of our distress arises from defending the self or ego.

Tonight, I would like to discuss creating positive change in the world and share some Buddhist reflections on the current state of the world and potential solutions. Is there anything we can do to address these issues? If so, what steps can we take?

Tonight, I'm going to talk about several things—maybe nine or twelve, we'll see. I have about twelve topics, but I might only get through nine of them. For those who've studied Buddhism, you're probably familiar with its core teachings, like the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. Buddhism often presents information in lists—four of this, eight of that, twelve of these. Tonight, I'll share three or four lists of about three items each. It's useful that Buddhism is organized into lists, even though it can seem overwhelming at first. You might wonder how to memorize the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, and its 27 subsections. Initially, it can feel a bit complicated.

Tonight, let's discuss the world and politics. How do you feel about the state of the world? It's a broad question. Are you optimistic, believing everything will turn out fine? Or are you pessimistic, thinking there's no hope and we're all doomed? Perhaps you lean towards a nihilistic view, feeling that nothing really matters…

We have discussed the five aggregates of being. Tonight, we will focus on the senses or sense doors related to mindfulness: seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, sensation, and mental and emotional processes. I would like to begin the class by encouraging you to engage in conversation with each other to build a sense of community, get to know one another, and connect for long-term relationships.