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Addiction Makes Three
Amanda Lockyer
67 episodes
3 hours ago

Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.


Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?

You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.


We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.


I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.


For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.


New episodes weekly.

Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.


Show links


  • I love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/
  • Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychat


If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
Mental Health
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Relationships
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All content for Addiction Makes Three is the property of Amanda Lockyer and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.

Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.


Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?

You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.


We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.


I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.


For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.


New episodes weekly.

Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.


Show links


  • I love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/
  • Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychat


If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
Mental Health
Society & Culture,
Health & Fitness,
Relationships
Episodes (20/67)
Addiction Makes Three
66 - They Say They’re Sober… But You’re Still Not Sure

When your loved one says they’re sober but you still smell alcohol, feel uneasy, or can’t shake that gut feeling, you’re not crazy.

In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles.

I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up in your body, and why believing yourself is the first step toward healing, not policing your partner.



You’ll Learn


  • Why trust doesn’t return the moment sobriety starts
  • The trauma response behind hyper-vigilance and “detective mode”
  • What your nervous system is really doing when you can’t relax
  • How to begin rebuilding trust with yourself first
  • Why “just trust me” never works, and what to say instead




Listen next:


Ep 14 - The Power of the Pause

Ep 53 - Are you Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habbit Keeping you Stuck

Ep 65 - What no one warns you about when they go to rehab

Ep 28 - Your Unexpected Resentment in Their Recovery




💌 Need support for yourself (not just your loved one)? Book in a no-pressure chat with Amanda to share what's going on and find out what your next best smallest steps are, or join the waitlist for the next intake to the Pathway to Wellness Program.



👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ You can book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 hours ago
17 minutes 3 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
65 - What No One Warns You About When They Go To Rehab

Everyone says, “They just need to go to rehab.”

And maybe they do.

But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do.


In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional whiplash, the relief mixed with resentment, and why it’s completely normal to feel angry, confused, or even jealous while your loved one gets help.


You’ll learn:

• Why relief often turns into resentment (and what it’s telling you)

• How to stop waiting for their recovery to fix everything

• What your own recovery and support can look like independent of theirs


Rehab isn’t the finish line. It’s the start of two recoveries, theirs and yours.


Ask yourself: What support do I need right now, for me?


🎧 Listen now, and explore your next steps and resources in the show notes.




Listen next:


  • Ep 28 - Your unexpected resentment in Their recovery
  • Ep 18 - Rehab from the other side - Part 3
  • Ep 17 - Rehab from the other side - Part 2
  • Ep 16 - Rehab from the other side - Part 1






👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 week ago
23 minutes 55 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
64 - When You’re Worn Out: Giving Yourself Permission to Stop

When you’re the one holding everything together, the house, the kids, the finances, the emotional whiplash and fallout, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted.


Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like everything might collapse if you let go for a second.


In this episode, Amanda shares what “the pause” really means when you’re run-down and stretched thin, and why it’s necessary for everyone’s wellbeing for you to pause. You’ll learn how to notice the crappy internal thoughts that keep you stuck, how to ask for help without guilt, and why rest isn’t a luxury, it’s maintenance.


I know it’s hard here and you’re beyond tired. Take that micro moment and have a rest. It’ll help more than you could ever imagine





Listen next:


  • Ep 14 - The Power of The Pause
  • Ep 55 - 7 Late Night Google Searches That Reveal Addiction Red Flags
  • Ep 54 - What Real Support Looks Like (Without the Shame of Enabling)
  • Ep 33 - You're not Their Rehab





👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like. Because you know you’ve been trying ‘this way’ for long enough and it's not helping anyone.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 week ago
15 minutes 58 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
63 - How Perimenopause Makes Addiction-Impacted Relationships Even Harder

Navigating perimenopause while living with a spouse struggling with addiction can feel like too much. Because it is, in fact, too much. In this episode, Amanda shares why these two experiences collide, how it impacts your emotions and nervous system, and what real support looks like so you can start feeling calm and in control again


If you’re navigating perimenopause while also living with a partner who’s struggling with addiction, you are not imagining how hard this feels, it’s a lot.


Your hormones are shifting. Your sleep’s all over the place. Your emotions are on high alert. And when you layer in the stress, uncertainty, and heartbreak that comes with addiction in a relationship, it can feel impossible to stay calm, steady, or even like yourself anymore.


In this episode, I’m unpacking what happens when perimenopause, stress, and addiction in a relationship collide, the perfect storm of emotional overload, fatigue, and burnout that so many women find themselves in but rarely talk about.


We’ll chat about:


Why perimenopause makes emotional regulation so much harder when addiction is involved

How your nervous system gets stuck in “fight or flight” mode

The hidden compassion we can find in those small moments of resistance (yes, even over coffee)

And what it really takes to start feeling calm, in control, and well again — no matter where your loved one is in their recovery


Your ability to find your peace, even when things around you are chaotic is going to be what helps you. And when you're better in yourself, you can support your loved one in a healthy way.



Listen next:


  • Ep 14 - The Power of The Pause
  • Ep 5 - What About Us
  • Ep 15 - What got you here won't get you there
  • Ep 20 - You’ll achieve more in 1 year focusing on your own wellbeing...




👉 Resources and support:


1️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



2️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 weeks ago
15 minutes 31 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
62 - Rethinking Recovery and the Myths That Keep Us Stuck with Conrad Tracy

What if the stories we’ve been told about addiction recovery, rock bottom, tough love, they have to want it themselves... are only half the truth?


In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck, and reveal what real, sustainable recovery actually looks like.


Together they explore the messy middle of change, the space between crisis and consistency, and how both the person struggling and their loved ones can find steadier ground through boundaries, compassion, and evidence-based support.


You’ll learn:

Why waiting for rock bottom can be dangerous and what to do instead.

The difference between helping and enabling (and why it matters).

How relapse fits into recovery without meaning “back to day one.”

What real accountability looks like without shame or control.

How small, consistent actions create lasting transformation.


This episode is for you if:


You love someone navigating addiction or early recovery.

You’re a high-functioning person quietly struggling yourself.

You’re tired of outdated advice and want tools that actually work.



Connect with Conrad


  • Addiction Coaching Australia
  • @conradmtracey_addictioncoach on Instagram
  • We are running a promotion for listeners of the podcast of a special introduction price to our Circuit Breaker program $97 per week ex GST for the first three months, rather than usual $149 per week ex GST.
  • Just use the code SOBER at the check out.https://pages.addictioncoachingaustralia.com.au/the-circuit-breaker



👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 weeks ago
1 hour 9 minutes 10 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
61 - When You Don’t Know Whether to Stay or Leave

You love them and you’re exhausted.

One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak.

And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave?


In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again.


You’ll learn:

  • Why both staying and leaving are hard
  • The real question you need to ask instead
  • How doing your own inner work is the key to clarity


Whether your partner is in active addiction, early recovery, or somewhere in between, this conversation will help you stop waiting for a sign, start choosing you and get you stepping closer to making decisions that feel good, even when they are hard.



Listen next:


  • Ep 42 - How many chances is too many?
  • Ep 27 - Should you Leave or Stay? Why that's not the Only Question
  • Ep 23 - How to get through a relapse without losing hope




👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 weeks ago
19 minutes 16 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
60 - Grieving Someone in Addiction Who is Still Alive

What if you’re grieving someone who’s still alive?


In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself.


It’s the tension between hope and heartbreak.

Between who they were and who they are now.


You can love them and still grieve them.

You can hold hope and still hold boundaries.


Listen next:


  • Ep 47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
  • Ep 3 - Where is my lasagne?
  • Ep 20 - You’ll achieve more in 1 year focusing on your own wellbeing...



👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.



2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



3️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



4️⃣ Connect with Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree



5️⃣ Questions or reflections → amanda@addictionmakesthree.com



You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 weeks ago
16 minutes 11 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
59 - The Crazy Things I Did In My Husband's Addiction

You’ve sniffed laundry, counted bottles, checked phones, screenshotted bank statements.

Me too.

You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how.


In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and why it’s quietly breaking you, and how to step out of it with compassion.


You’ll learn:

  • The gaslighting → doubt → evidence-hunt loop (and why it’s addictive)
  • Why hyper-vigilance feels like control but creates burnout
  • A kinder swap: put down the magnifying glass, pick up the mirror
  • One tiny action to retire (today) + what to do instead

If you’ve been living on high alert, this is your permission slip to choose peace over proof.


And truly - send me a DM on Instagram or drop me an email - let me know the one thing you are going to 'stop' doing... and let's get a plan together.



Listen next:

  • Ep 53 - Are You Gaslighting Yourself?
  • Ep 57 - 4 Signs Your Boundaries Aren’t Working
  • Ep 48 - Why Sobriety Isn’t the Finish Line




👉 Resources and support:



1️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



2️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



3️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
4 weeks ago
19 minutes 10 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
58 - The High-Functioning Addiction Myth: When ‘Fine’ Isn’t Actually Fine

They’ve got a good job.

They pay the bills.

They make people laugh.


So how could this be addiction, right?


That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you.


In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the most misleading labels in addiction: “high-functioning.”


You’ll learn:

Why “holding it all together” can actually be a form of denial

The hidden emotional cost for partners and families

How this label gaslights you into doubting what you already know

What true wellbeing actually looks like and how to start measuring it differently


If you’ve ever thought, “It’s not that bad, they’re still working, they’re still funny, they’re still paying the bills,” this episode will help you see that “fine” isn’t the same as “healthy.”


🎧 Listen now to learn how to stop minimising, start trusting yourself, and take the first step towards real steadiness and peace.





👉 Resources and support:


1️⃣ Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here



2️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



3️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



4️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
17 minutes 22 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
57 - Why Your Boundaries Aren’t Working (and What to Do About It)

Are you overwhelmed, resentful, or carrying everyone else’s chaos? Those are not personality traits, they’re signs you need new boundaries.


In this episode, you’ll learn:


  • 4 common signs it’s time to set new or better boundaries.
  • Why resentment is your body’s boundary alarm.
  • How over-functioning and people-pleasing (tendencies) keep you stuck.
  • The heartbreaking cost of neglecting yourself.
  • How boundaries help you separate what’s yours from what’s theirs.



If this episode resonated, join me for my upcoming Boundaries Workshop. Let’s protect your peace and step forwards in a healthy way, together - without the confusion and self doubt.


👉 Other Episodes Mentioned


Ep14 - The Power of the Pause

Ep30 - Why boundaries matter way more than we think





👉 Resources and support:


1️⃣ Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here



2️⃣ If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide



3️⃣ You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible



4️⃣ Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
13 minutes 19 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
56 - How to Spot the Early Signs of Addiction (Before It’s Too Late)

Ever found yourself holding your breath when the front door opens?

Or Googling at 2am, ‘Is my partner an alcoholic?’ before deleting the search?

You’re not crazy, these are the blurry early signs of addiction. And today, we’re naming a few of them.


What you’ll learn in this episode:


  • The subtle early signs of addiction you might be overlooking.
  • Why denial (yours and theirs) keeps you stuck.
  • How behaviours like walking on eggshells or late-night Googling are actually red flags.
  • Why you don’t need a label to validate your experience, it’s enough that it’s a problem for YOU.
  • A gentle reframe: awareness is the first step toward change.


If this episode resonated, join me for my upcoming Boundaries Workshop. Let’s protect your peace and step forwards in a healthy way, together. Without the confusion and self doubt.






Resources and support:


Join Boundaries workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without Guilt. Happening on Thursday 9th October - 4pm PDT / 7pm EDT - sign up here


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
22 minutes 21 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
55 - 7 Late-Night Google Searches That Reveal Addiction Red Flags


The middle of the night. The house is quiet. You’re scrolling with the brightness turned down low, Googling questions you never thought you’d type:


“Is drinking every night normal?”

“Why does he lie about it?”

“Am I overreacting?”


If that’s you, this episode will feel like an exhale.


In this conversation, I dive into:

  • Why those late-night Google searches are already a sign something’s not okay
  • The subtle ways your body knows before your brain is ready to admit it
  • Common red-flag searches (and what they really mean)
  • How shame makes us clear the history… and silence ourselves
  • The simple reframe that turns “I’m paranoid” into “I’m aware”


This isn’t about shaming or blaming.


It’s about recognising that if you’re secretly Googling at 2am, something in you already knows it’s time to pay attention.



Resources and support:


🎓 Grab the Discovery to Recovery workshop - a bitesized 3 part workshop to get grounded and clear on what's going on and your next smallest steps forward: get it here


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
9 minutes 8 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
54 - What Real Support Looks Like (Without the Shame of ‘Enabling’)

You’re trying to love someone through addiction and you’re exhausted.

Because helping someone you love should feel good… right?


In this episode, I go deeper on the conversation from Episode 19 and talk about the confusing, messy, emotionally-charged reality of trying to “help” someone impacted by addiction.

You’ll hear:

  • How to tell if your “support” is actually costing you your health, peace, or wellbeing
  • Why the advice you’re getting from others even well-meaning family might be hurting more than helping
  • A powerful mindset shift: stop asking “Am I enabling?” and start asking “Is this healthy for me?”
  • Real examples from Amanda and the women inside the Pathway to Wellness program about setting boundaries that are loving and firm
  • A compassionate reminder that you don’t have to break yourself to help someone else heal


Amanda shares practical, heart-centred questions to help you move from guilt-ridden guesswork… to grounded clarity.


This episode is for you if:

  • You’re walking on eggshells around your partner’s addiction
  • You’ve been told you’re “enabling” and you feel shamed or confused
  • You want to help… but not at the expense of your own wellbeing


🎧 Subscribe and follow to never miss an episode and please share this with a woman in your life who might need this message today.


Let’s Keep Going Together:


🎓 Grab the Discovery to Recovery workshop: get it here


🎧 Binge other helpful episodes:

  • Episode 19: Debunking the myth of enabling in addiction
  • Episode 43: Why everyone has opinions (and none of them help)
  • Episode 35: When You’re Scared to Set the Boundary… Start Here


📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed



Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
1 month ago
21 minutes 58 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
53 - Are You Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habit Keeping You Stuck

When someone you love struggles with addiction, there’s often a voice in your head that says:


“Maybe I’m overreacting.”

“Maybe it’s not that bad.”

“Maybe I’m the problem.”


💥 That, my friend, is self-gaslighting.


In this gentle but truth-filled episode, Amanda explores:

  • What gaslighting really is (and what it looks like in your loved one)
  • How gaslighting becomes internalised and turns into your own inner voice
  • Why we gaslight ourselves (hint: it’s about survival, not weakness)
  • How this quiet habit keeps us stuck in shame, silence, and confusion
  • What it really looks like to stop gaslighting yourself and start trusting yourself again


If you’ve ever second-guessed your reality or felt like you needed “evidence” before trusting your gut then this episode is for you.


🎧 Tune in now and come back to this one any time you need a reminder:

You're not crazy.

You're not imagining things.

You're not too sensitive.

You're just exhausted from carrying a truth no one else is acknowledging.


And that ends today.



Let’s Keep Going Together:

🎓 Grab the workshop: get it here

🎧 Binge previous episodes: What if waiting is the most dangerous choice - 52, Why sobriety isn't the finish line - 48, I'm smart, so why do I feel so stuck - 40

📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed



Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
18 minutes 46 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
52 - What If Waiting Is the Most Dangerous Choice?

Are you stuck waiting for your loved one to drink less, admit they have a problem, or finally change?


If you’ve been whispering “maybe this is just my lot in life”... this episode is for you.


I am getting real about the hidden choices we make every day in addiction-impacted relationships, especially when it feels like we don’t have any choices at all.


Inside this episode:

  • The quiet ways women become passengers in their own life
  • How addiction can trick you into feeling powerless
  • Why both choices might feel hard, but choosing still matters
  • What it looks like to set boundaries with love (not ultimatums)


You’ll also hear the story of one woman who stopped waiting for her partner’s rock bottom and reclaimed her own power instead.


BONUS: If you want to start choosing differently but don’t know where to start…


I have created a 3 session self-paced workshop for women just like you.

👉 It’s called Discovery to Recovery and it’s only $77.

Get clarity, calm, and your next small step here: Get the workshop in your pocket



Let’s Keep Going Together:

🎓 Grab the workshop: get it here

🎧 Binge previous episodes on boundaries - 35, how to get through a relapse without losing hope - 23, Why sobriety isn't the finish line - 48

📩 DM Amanda on Instagram @addictionmakesthree to share what landed



Resources and support:

If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
15 minutes 42 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
51 - The Hidden Cost of Staying Quiet About Addiction (Your Silence Is Not Strength)


When you’re living alongside a loved one’s addiction, staying quiet can feel like the safest choice. You tell yourself you’re protecting them, your family, and yourself. You don’t want to make things worse, invite judgement, or fuel the shame that’s already there.


But here’s the truth, silence doesn’t always protect you. In fact, it can keep you stuck. And it can keep your loved one stuck, too.


In this episode, I share why so many capable, intelligent women wear silence like a badge of honour, the hidden cost of that silence, and what can happen when you start speaking up in safe, supportive spaces. You’ll hear personal reflections, relatable stories, and gentle challenges to help you see your voice as a powerful tool for clarity, healing, and change.


Whether you’re in the early days of navigating a partner’s addiction or years into the rollercoaster, this conversation will help you shift from quietly coping to confidently choosing what’s best for you.




✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
2 months ago
20 minutes 32 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
50 - Why You Can’t Find Peace Without Discomfort

You just want peace.

Peace in your home. Peace in your relationship. Peace in your body.


But here’s the hard truth no one talks about:

The real peace?

It’s on the other side of discomfort.


In this milestone episode, Amanda gets raw and real about what it actually takes to reclaim your voice and protect your peace when you’re in a relationship impacted by addiction.


We unpack:

  • Why the “path of least resistance” keeps you stuck
  • What happens when you abandon yourself to keep the peace
  • How to start flexing your discomfort muscle (without diving straight into deep-end convos)
  • Client stories that show this shift in real life
  • And how YOU can start choosing the kind of “hard” that leads to healing


You don’t have to blow things up.

You don’t have to confront every moment.

But you do deserve to stop abandoning your truth.


✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
21 minutes 29 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
49 - Are You Still Getting It All Done But Falling Apart Inside?

You’re holding it all together... the work, the parenting, the appointments, the appearances. But behind closed doors, you’re exhausted, anxious, and quietly crumbling under the weight of your partner’s addiction.


In this deeply honest episode, Amanda explores what “not okay” really looks like for high-functioning, capable and amazing women. From over-functioning and emotional whiplash to hiding behind the mask of “I’m fine,” we unpack the silent cost of loving someone in active addiction.


Amanda shares her own turning point and why acknowledging your pain (even in a whisper) is the first important step for change. If you’ve been doing everything for everyone and wondering why you feel like you’re breaking… this is your invitation to breathe.


Whether you’re in crisis or just quietly breaking, this episode offers truth and relief.


🎧 If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear: You’re allowed to not be okay and still be amazing and capable.



✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
19 minutes 54 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
48 - Why Sobriety Isn’t the Finish Line: The Truth About Addiction & Relationships

You’ve been holding on hoping that once your partner gets sober, everything will fall back into place. But what happens when that day finally comes… and nothing feels better?


In this raw and honest episode on Addiction Makes Three, we unpack the hard truth: sobriety doesn’t magically fix everything. If you’re a high-functioning woman walking on eggshells, exhausted by emotional labour, and silently battling burnout while your partner struggles with addiction or is newly sober this conversation is for you.


We explore:

Why “destination sobriety” can actually delay your healing

How enabling can wear a clever disguise

What it really takes to rebuild trust (with yourself and them)

And why setting boundaries is essential, even after sobriety begins


Whether your partner is in active addiction/use, early recovery, or somewhere in-between you deserve clarity, peace, and support now, not “one day.”


🎧 Hit play for validation, strategy, and a gentle wake-up call you didn’t know you needed.



✨ For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:


If you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


📞 You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


📝 Or join the waitlist for Pathway to Wellness, my signature program designed to help you rebuild your life alongside (or beyond) a loved one’s addiction.


You can find your way through this. And you don’t have to do it alone.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
25 minutes 58 seconds

Addiction Makes Three
47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life

If you’re lying awake at night wondering “Is it really that bad?”, “Am I overreacting?”, or “How did I even get here?” this episode is for you.


In this powerful and compassionate solo episode, Amanda walks you through 11 subtle but life-altering signs that your partner’s addiction might be quietly taking over your world, emotionally, mentally, and even physically.


This is not about blaming or shaming your loved one. It’s about helping you see the truth of what’s happening so you can reclaim your peace, identity, and life without guilt.


You’ll hear:

  • What “walking on eggshells” really looks like in a relationship with addiction
  • How your mood may be tied to theirs (and why it’s exhausting)
  • Why you’ve stopped making plans and stopped laughing
  • The invisible weight of responsibility and the deep grief of losing yourself
  • A gentle but powerful reminder: you don’t need to wait for it to get even worse to get support


Whether you tick one box or all eleven, please know this: you’re not dramatic, you’re not overreacting and you’re not alone.


For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:


Upcoming workshop: Learn how to support your partner without losing yourself in the process

Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)

Happening this week

👉 Register Here


If you haven’t got the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):

👉 Download the guide


You can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.

👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possible


Your peace matters. And you’re closer than you think.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Show more...
3 months ago
11 minutes 34 seconds

Addiction Makes Three

Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.


Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?

You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.


We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.


I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.


For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.


New episodes weekly.

Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.


Show links


  • I love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/
  • Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychat


If you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.