Are you tired of saying yes when every part of you is screaming no? In this week's episode of A Millennial Mind, I sit down with Annalie Howling — performance coach, trauma specialist, and boundaries queen — to unpack the truth about people pleasing, approval addiction, and why so many of us feel guilty putting ourselves first. We dive deep into the psychology behind saying yes, how it’s linked to childhood conditioning, and what it actually takes to stop caring what everyone thinks. If you’ve ever been called “too nice,” struggled to set boundaries, or felt drained trying to please everyone — this one’s for you. ✨ Who It’s For: Chronic people pleasers who can’t say no Anyone struggling with guilt, shame, or overgiving Women tired of being the “good girl” Anyone learning to protect their peace & energy 💡 What You’ll Learn: Why people pleasing starts — and how to break the pattern How to set boundaries without guilt or fear The link between self-worth and saying no Practical tools to stop overgiving & reclaim your energy If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll just do it to keep the peace,” this is the episode for you. It’s time to stop being 'liked' - and start being respected. 00:00 Introduction – Why We People Please 01:05 Meet Annalie Howling: Turning Pain into Purpose 04:20 The Truth About People Pleasing and Self-Abandonment 08:30 When Helping Others Becomes Self-Harm 12:45 The Guilt of Saying No 15:20 The Connection Between Guilt, Shame, and Self-Worth 18:40 Trauma, Control, and Learned Helplessness 23:10 Why Some People Resist Healing 26:00 Narcissism, Victimhood, and Emotional Boundaries 31:10 How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Selfish 35:45 Understanding Shame in People Pleasing 40:15 Fawning: The Hidden Trauma Response 45:30 Healing from Childhood Shame and Conditioning 49:50 Recognizing and Validating Your Own Trauma 54:10 Breaking Generational Patterns of Guilt 58:30 Setting Boundaries with Family and In-Laws 01:02:10 Why “Good Girls” Struggle to Say No 01:05:00 Speaking Up When It Feels Uncomfortable 01:09:30 Letting Go of the Need to Please 01:12:00 Final Reflections – Living Unapologetically 🔔 Subscribe for more discussions on mental health, personal growth, and healing! / @shivanipaupodcast ✨ Connect with Millennial Mind ✨ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amillennialmind Shivani Pau Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shivani.pau Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/shivanipaupodcast Performance Planner: https://my-performance-planner.myshopify.com/ Let Me Change Your Mind 🧠 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices