Approach parenting as a business, make unemotional choices. save emotion for good mornings, bedtimes, birthdays, every day things, until something happens that needs to be solved. Then emotion
needs to be pushed aside and unemotional, business minded problem solving needs to be the approach.
If you stop they'll stop
S4E39 - The Moment When
What we want for them do matter, it's just understanding what that means.
We won't always have a good reaction, but we can have a better reaction to our poor action.
S - Self
E- Example
R - Response
We get told it's the hardest job in the world. that's an excuse and a crappy way to not take responsibility.
Your past self could have been better if you knew what you know today. Look back, think back, know you couldn't have done any better, because you were a child, BUT you can take those lessons to be a better parent today.
Don't hinder their curiosity, allow it to grow.
Punishment, or no punishment. there is no...
If you want them to talk, you have to talk. They can't respond to nothing. Prompt them and know when to stop and start listening.
S = Self
E = Example
R = Response
Part three in a three part series. :)
Jennifer Wallace: Never Enough:
https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough
Glennon Doyle: Untamed
Dr. William Stixrud & Ned Johnson: The Self-Driven Child
What rewards are you giving and what rewards are they internalizing.
Daily journals, not blowing up the bridge, keeping the divide from getting bigger.
’m not saying this is how it should be. It’s a thought experiment of possibilities.
Leo Tolstoy: A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World's Sacred Texts
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/calendar-of-wisdom-leo-tolstoy/1100574479?ean=9780684837932
What are you really teaching your kid and what do you want to focus on.
People are attracted to people that excite them and engage with them. Be your better self and you'll get noticed.
Pick the values that matter most to you. Pick the things you really hope your child learns from you. Then use those to have conversations, not all the other noise that we (you) think needs to be said that is getting filter out through all the other noise.
What outside influences is impacting your time?
What is your routine that just may be the best part of their day.
I’m not saying this is how it should be. It’s a thought experiment for how it could be.