There were 430,000 rapes in the UK last year. 5 in 6 women never report what happened to them. If reporting feels impossible, the system needs new paths forward. That’s why the organization, Enough, was created.
Shannon sits down with Katie White, co-founder of Enough, and Dr. Maisie Johnstone, counseling psychologist and clinical lead, to talk about how they’re giving sexual assault survivors more choice and more agency through a self-testing rape kit, an encrypted place to record what happened, and a digital recovery platform for those who can’t access therapy.
They discuss what sexual violence really looks like in the UK, the silence surrounding it, and how reframing words like “delayed realization” and “hyper-sexuality” could change the way we understand sexual assault and healing. Grab whatever’s in your glass and press play. Cheers!
Checkout Enough: https://myenough.com/Follow Enough on IG: https://www.instagram.com/enoughtoendrape
Follow Enough on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@enoughtoendrape?lang=en
Enough on Youtube: https://youtube.com/@enoughtoendrape?si=mA_Rtx-rLtQmInOj
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Life after sexual assault looks different for everyone, but no one talks about how it can change your dreams, your work, and your body’s capacity to keep going.
In this solo episode, Shannon unpacks how sexual trauma impacts careers and identity, and what it really means to meet yourself where you are in the aftermath. She talks about adjusting to a new normal, why it’s okay to have one, and what strength looks like for who you are now. Let's get cozy and talk about meeting yourself where you are. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Tell the world that consent is hot: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
In this episode, Shannon answers a few of the questions listeners have written in. Drawing from her own healing, a bit of research, and conversations with experts, she offers honest and unfiltered responses to the things survivors are often left wondering.
She gets into:
– What really counts as sexual assault (and why “gray areas” aren’t gray)
– Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn explained– Coping with dissociation
– Her honest take on therapy, including EMDR
– Red and green flags when dating again after trauma
Grab your favorite beverage and join Shannon for this survivor Q&A. Cheers!
Learn how your state defines sexual assault: https://rainn.org/take-action/fight-for-justice/state-law-database/
Check out the website (& merch!): WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea? Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
No one really prepares you for the first days after sexual assault. The confusion. The self-blame. The nonstop “am I crazy for thinking this?” thoughts. It can sometimes feel like your whole world is upside down, and like you’re the only one going through it.
In this solo episode, Shannon talks directly to survivors who were recently assaulted, or are just starting to process what happened. She shares why your brain might be doubting itself, why your body feels off, and why needing rest is a non-negotiable.,
If you’ve been asking yourself “Is this normal?” the answer is yes. You’re not broken, you’re not alone, and joy will find its way back to you, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
So grab a drink, get cozy, and let’s walk through this together. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out the merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send me an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
In Part 2 of our conversation with trauma therapist Cindie Henrie, we talk about what it means for survivors to recognize their own predatory impulses and how anger can be both destructive and productive in the healing journey. We also unpack how trauma lives in the body, how survivors reclaim power through movement and sensation, and what the cycle of abuse can look like behind closed doors—including in places like Hollywood. Cindie brings insight into the minds of perpetrators, the mechanics of trafficking, and how manipulation, denial, and control play out across systems and relationships. It’s raw, it’s honest, and you should stop reading this description and press play already. Cheers!
Los Angeles Therapy Network: https://www.latherapynetwork.com/
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Board Certified Expert in Traumatic Stress Treatment, LMFT, and BCETS, Cindie Henrie joins us to explore the psychology behind sexual abuse and survival. Cindie shares her experience working with high-risk youth, sex offenders, trafficking survivors, and the LGBTQIA+ community, offering a rare and honest look at the “why” behind predatory behavior. Together, we unpack how perpetrators often carry their own trauma and project it onto their victims, how survivors internalize abuse, and she introduces the "Trauma Triangle". A model in psychology of the victim, rescuer, and perpetrator that keeps people stuck in painful cycles.
If you've ever found yourself asking, "Why did this happen?" this episode will help you start making sense of it. Strap in, this is a good one. Cheers!
Los Angeles Therapy Network: https://www.latherapynetwork.com/
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out our website: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
We’re talking about what happens when you end up in another toxic relationship...one that looks a little too familiar. You saw the red flags. You stayed. Is that your fault?
We’re also unpacking the sticky, complicated ways survivors of sexual assault sometimes attach to people who feel safe, like comfort, like healing, like maybe they’ll be able to put us back together. (Spoiler: that’s not their job.) We share our own attachments to people we thought could keep us safe forever and fix us, and why that isn't their job.
This episode is about the patterns we don’t always want to admit, and the kind of honesty that can actually move us forward. Grab a drink, get comfy, and let’s get into it. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Our Website: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
In this crossover episode, we sit down with Dave Markel, a retired police detective and host of the Sexual Assault Survivor Stories (SASS) podcast. Together, we explore the complexities of rape culture, the role of humor in conversations about sexual violence, and how trauma impacts the brain long after the event itself.
Dave shares insight from his years in law enforcement and his current work with survivors, helping us bridge the gap between the systems that fail and the stories that deserve to be heard. Cheers!
Check out Survivor School: https://www.survivor-school.com/free?ref=WTDS
Listen to Dave's SASS podcast:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/33U3Vn4jGkzNf5weufDnjB?si=e27e90ebc492437e
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sexual-assault-survivor-stories/id1653248814
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out our website: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
No one really tells you what going to court for a sexual assault case is like. Not the emotional toll, the things you quietly give up along the way, or the things you gain. So… is it worth it? In this episode, we're pulling the curtain back on the process and the parts no one prepares you for. It was long, emotional, and exhausting. But it also helped us reclaim our voices and feel grounded in our stories. Whether you’re thinking about it, deep in it, or just curious, we’re sharing what we wish we knew. If you’ve ever wondered if going to court is worth it, this one's for you. So grab your favorite beverage and get cozy. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
We talk a lot about survivors and perpetrators. But what about the people caught in the crossfire? In this episode, we sit down with award-winning author and trained SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner), Dianne C. Braley, to talk about the often-ignored reality of secondary victims: the mothers, sons, daughters, and partners of those who cause harm. Her new novel, The Summer Before, is a raw, powerful look at what it means to love someone who’s hurt others, and how those closest to perpetrators are left to navigate their own trauma, shame, and silence. Dianne opens up about growing up with an alcoholic father, loving someone in active addiction, and how society has slowly made space for addiction, but still refuses to acknowledge secondary victims. As a former SANE, she also sheds light on the lack of support built into a system that asks so much of them. Inspired by real events, this conversation and her new book make space for a deeper, more honest conversation about healing. Cheers!
Dianne's new book: https://a.co/d/hTXDdRy
Dianne's first book: https://a.co/d/alURwXK
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Check out our merch: WhatTheyDontSay.com
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Magician and escape artist Gabriella Lester joins us to talk about surviving sexual assault at 16 years old and the brutal years that followed inside the Canadian legal system. From walking into court through the same door as her assailant’s mom, to being told she fought back “too well” for a longer sentence, to attempting to take her own life, Gabriella opens up about what survivors are never warned about.
We talk about what it takes to stay alive when the world feels rigged, how your passion can play a part in your healing, and that it is possible to have a full life after sexual assault. We also answer a listener's question: “How do I find myself again after an identity crisis post-assault?” Cheers!
Gabriella's Information:
Website:https://www.gabriellalester.ca/
Tedx Talk: https://youtu.be/QlE3yJw2G0c?si=8z6SDujhhwHDgv55
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegabriellalester/?hl=en
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Want some merch? WhatTheyDontSay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Sexual assault is one of the most violating experiences a person can go through, but why does it hurt so much? In this episode, we break down the impact of sexual assault in a way that actually makes sense. From what trauma does to the brain to how it strips away autonomy, to the way society twists the narrative- we’re talking about all of it.
Healing isn’t linear, but understanding what happened to you is a step forward. Let’s talk about it. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Buy merch: whattheydontsay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
What happens when the person your entire town admires is the same person who assaults you? This week, we sit down with Allyson Kreps, a child and family psychotherapist and survivor, to talk about the brutal reality of coming forward about sexual assault.
Allyson shares her story of how Mark Langford, owner of Amic Lake Maintenance and Storage in Magnetawan, Ontario, drove her hours away from home and assaulted her. She shares her 6-year legal battle and how she fought for justice, not just for others, but for herself. We dive into the backlash survivors face when they speak out, the retraumatization of the legal system, and what it means to reclaim yourself after trauma.
We also answer a listener question: "How do you work through self-blame? Like logically knowing it wasn’t your fault but not believing it?"
This episode is raw, powerful, and a testament to why survivors keep fighting, even when the world wants them silent. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Want to wear consent is hot merch? whattheydontsay.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Ever had a wild shower thought? Same. Ever had a million-dollar idea come to you in a dream? Well, Shirah Benarde did, and it was a game-changer. At just 16, she became the co-founder of NightCap, a wearable drink-spiking prevention product. Shirah joins us to talk about the frustrations of getting people to care, being a young woman in business, building communities that create real change, and the fight to make safety a priority. And remember... don't forget your NightCap. Protect your drink, protect your peace. Cheers!
Get connected with Shirah & NightCap:
https://nightcapit.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoquLeR_AUhZJmxLMdv6NsKrxHglXjQkohmuZ3RxTyTME3bYaorG
Follow NightCap on socials: https://www.instagram.com/nightcapit/?hl=en
https://www.tiktok.com/@nightcapit?lang=en
Follow Shirah: https://www.instagram.com/shirahbenarde/?hl=en
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
We’re back, and so is Lauren. After five months off the mic (and, yes, a very real hiatus in our friendship), we’re reunited and diving right back into all the messy, complicated, and chaotic conversations you’ve been waiting for.
In this episode, Lauren explains why Fletcher’s I Just Had Sex with My Ex hits a little too close to home (because, well... she did). We breakdown the reality of dating after trauma, how when you’ve been treated like garbage for so long, a “good guy” can feel foreign, even wrong. The pressure to want the right kind of love, even when your gut says no, is real. And Shannon shares a proposal story that went horribly wrong.
We missed you, we missed this, and we’re so happy to be back talking with our friends again. Grab a drink, settle in, and let's chat. Cheers!
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Shannon sits down with Angelique Larsen, host ofLet's Talk About It, for a powerful conversation on her journey through multiple experiences of sexual assault and abuse. Angelique opens up about the unique challenges of navigating violent same-sex relationships and the emotional turmoil that comes with them. From dealing with abusive partners to the frustrating shortcomings of support systems (yes, we’re looking at you, Title IX), the two dive deep into the raw realities LGBTQ+ survivors face when seeking justice. Cheers!
Our episode onLet's Talk About It:https://open.spotify.com/episode/42ojoUhn6QYE2SUBxAAorf?si=b14b86a904944bf2
*It's episode 4 titled "What is Sexual Assault?"
Follow Angelique:
TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@anxgxlique?_t=ZT-8svqot9MgjW&_r=1
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/officialletstalkaboutitpod?igsh=MTF3MWEwdjNpZ2M1NA==
Get Educated:www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok:https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
The holidays are supposed to be all about joy and good vibes, but let’s be real—sometimes they’re just a shitshow. For some, it’s loneliness, financial stress, reminders of loss, or the family drama no one wants to talk about (like being in the same room as your uncle, who also happens to be your rapist). In this episode, Shannon dives into why the holidays can be such a challenging time and how to protect your peace by setting boundaries. You’re not a bad person for saying no, leaving early, or skipping the cookie exchange to keep your sanity intact. Protect your peace—it’s the best gift you can give yourself this year. Take a sip of that hot cocoa, press play, and feel free to use this podcast as an excuse to be late to a gathering. Cheers
Get Educated: www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
This week's episode is equal parts heartbreaking and historic. Derrick Hurley joins Shannon to share how his daughter was drugged and raped by a London police officer while attending nursing school in Antigua. This case grabbed international headlines, as the officer was extradited from the UK to Antigua to face justice—a historic move for a rape conviction. In this episode, they talk about the emotional toll of seeking justice, how he had to break the news to family and friends (after telling barely anyone for 4 years), and the complicated role faith played along the way.
Ever heard the phrase, “God makes all things work for good”? Yeah, they're getting into that one today. They get real about the complex role religion plays in trauma, exploring how it can help and sometimes hurt.
Grab your headphones and get ready for a conversation about faith, family, and the fight for justice. Cheers!
(0:00) Introduction
(46:26) Telling family and friends
(52:33) Faith, Religion, and forgiveness after assault
(1:03:46) Perpetrator impact statement
(1:14:15) Biggest surprise throughout trial process
(1:22:08) Sitting down with the assailant
Derrick's Book: https://www.amazon.com/ANTIGUAN-JUSTICE-Fathers-Sexual-Assault-ebook/dp/B0C7LMTFPK
Derrick's Email: derrick_hurley@comcast.net
CNN Article: https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/13/us/antigua-rape-trial-extradition/index.html
Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
Shannon doesn’t usually tackle current events, but let’s be real—when P. Diddy, Harvey Weinstein, and Mike Jeffries are making headlines at the same time, it’s hard to ignore. In today’s episode, Shannon’s here to give a quick rundown of the criminal cases of three men with more money than morals, and apparently, no sense of decency. We’ve got a music mogul whose tracks don’t seem to include a value system, a Hollywood producer who apparently believes courtrooms are their new movie sets, and a fashion CEO who took “sex sells” a little too literally. No sugar-coating, just straight to the truth because pedophiles lost that right when they chose to touch kids. Grab your popcorn, and get ready for brutal truths—no filter, no mercy. Cheers!
More info on the cases:
https://youtu.be/Uo1Bznk66WI?si=UzZWKJ41j_nRnb8f
https://www.foxnews.com/us/harvey-weinstein-new-york-court-hearing-retrial-sex-crime-case
https://youtu.be/b8k2Rghjz2M?si=jai4rV90Hcrms9rO
Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
What happens when the people sworn to protect us turn out to be the ones we need protection from? In this episode, the ladies sit down with Chris McGhee, a father whose world turned upside down when his daughter was assaulted by a police officer at the age of 15. The real kicker: the officer received a misdemeanor, no jail time, and no sex offender registration. If you're thinking "That’s not justice," you're not alone. Chris isn’t a lawyer, not even close—he’s just a pissed-off dad on a mission to pass Pennsylvania H.B. 1847, a bill that will make sure officers like the one who hurt his daughter are held to a higher standard. So, grab your drink of choice, and get ready for a gut punch of truth—this one’s a ride. Cheers!
The article mentioned: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/interactive/2024/police-officers-child-sexual-abuse-in-america/
If you're a parent who has gone through something similar or want to know how you can help get the bill passed, Chris wants to talk to you!
Chris McGhee: https://chrismcghee.com/
Chris's Email: info@chrismcghee.com
Get Educated: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
Got questions? Have an episode idea?
Send us an email: WhatTheyDontSayThePodcast@gmail.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whattheydontsayofficial/
Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whattheydontsayofficial
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs support: 1-800-656-4573 (National Sexual Assault Hotline)
