*gong noise* Kelly and Amy are back with a little holiday cheer as they recap Kenneth Branagh's A Midwinter's Tale (or In the Bleak Midwinter to our UK Cousins), a 1995 black-and-white love letter to Shakespeare, the power of live theatre and Joan Collins. They discuss their obsession with Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean, people making horrible choices, the casual homophobia of the mid-90s, FADGE, eating chili in England,Rita Repulsa, the Burning Man of the East, what the fox says, a church run by organized crime, Sporkle quizzes, a brief history of camp and the real-life inspiration for Hamlet.

Want more Amy in your life? Follow the Instagram for her new podcast @thesearejustcards for her take on tarot.

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NEAME willing, Kelly & Amy are proud to present their last Downton Abbey recap ever. All your favorites are here for the movie: Fashion Backwards, Amy Repeats History and a litany of goofy-ass callbacks to episodes past. They worry that this movie might get nominated for a gd Oscar, speculate about Matthew Goode's reaction to being contractually obligated to appear in this enjoyable but ultimately pointless thing, learn about hot gay sex throughout history, rejoice that there's basically no plot for Bates, call Isobel an Isoballer, get weepy at Maggie Smith's final scene as the Dowager Countess and Thomas' trip to the gay bar, ponder the inevitable zombie-laden sequel and lambast Branson one last time for being such a traitor to the cause of Irish independence.

Finally, we can't thank you Cousins enough for your many, many years of loyal fandom. You've been with us through the good, the bad and the downright weird (Strumpet City, we're looking at you). There's not a Molesley among you, and we certainly hope you'll be along for whatever projects we cook up next. We won't be far away--you can find us on Twitter, where we often make humor jokes. Our handles are @kellyanneken & @TheCynicalBetch. See you on the internets!

LUNCHEON OUT (for reals, though)!

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Kelly & Amy overcome texts not going through to bring you the golden episode of Victoria, S2E2. They chat about Tilda Swinton, Dadbert and DODubs dividing up all the arts, the deliciousness of Ernst, poor baby Ada Lovelace, the rudeness of Shakespeare fans, Victorian Shake Weights, Lord M playing The Sims, marriage advice from Lord Byron, and the fact that Vicky doesn't understand metaphors

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Kelly & Amy speak truth to Medium and call Louisa May Alcott out for her lies in their recap of Victoria S1E5. They also make fun of Kentucky and California, hail Coburg: home of the sinister laugh, take applications for ladle bitches, and smack talk parents. Kelly makes a sweet burn on the privy council, Amy imagines herself as a cokehead, and everyone wants Vicky's creative team to get it together!

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Kelly & Amy are back at it with a recap of Victoria S1E2. Vicky's mom does not have it going on, Victorian necklines are terrible, the House of Lords is just a lower key version of Mrs. Patmore yelling, the portrait of Jenna Coleman doesn't look like Jenna Coleman, various people are rude on nuns, no one can make a cake without grifting, there's an eternal flame at Buckingham Palace, King Lear is an idiot and Rufus Sewell continues attractive. Kelly says college is a trap, Amy is a Gemini betch, and everybody imagines a world where Vicky has access to emojis. As always, thanks for listening, and don't forget to check out our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content!

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Kelly & Amy are finally back from their break with Part 1 of the long-awaited Fashion Backwards/Amy Repeats History episode for The Crown S2 and all of Call the Midwife! Their research is as shallow and unreliable as ever as they discuss how fun it is to say Givenchy when talking about Meghan Markle's wedding dress, which fictional Roz Elton John is most like, shipping Nassoon, getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Billy Graham watching the Watchmen, Giant Winston Churchill's closest lady friend, the return of Biarritz, and The Crown's inaccurate approach to history. Kelly forgot about men, Amy doesn't show her midriff, and everyone plans to marry Claire Foy.

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