You really need to stop fucking your therapist. In the basin of an island outcast in a shallow sea, a city yearns for the gold of a dragon's horde. Will these four idiots find fortune, fame, and freedom? Probably not.   !! Content Warnings !! 00:01:50 Depictions of being boiled alive 00:28:25 Threat of institutional/police violence 00:46:00 Depictions of body horror   == CREDITS == Cast: Patrick Perini, GM Caustic Phoenix as Cal Ironwater Cinderblocksally as Weevil Woebringer Craig Pate as Odion Osprey-Heronshaw Emily Greymoore as Arianna Floridia “Flo” Osprey II Renee Juneau as Coloursby Adrian C. Lawrence as Johnnie Rowe Noir Enigma as Jareth Woodfoot Sara Roberts as Valnise Aram Vartian as The Dream Devil Cleo Birch as Ferrin Whel IV Crew: Sabrina Ortiz, Producer Nick Plaisance, Lorekeeper Renee Juneau, Chronicler Mason Allan, Game Design Consultant Sayer Roberts, Composer Callahan Bevilacqua, Dialogue Editor Colin Epstein, Writer System: Tales of the Valiant by Kobold Press Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

Arc 1 of season 2 starts airing Oct 28th, 2025! A brand new story in a brand new world — an outcast island on a shallow sea. Be sure to catch all the trailers and character drops over at https://discord.gg/unbalancedencounters

"Axes? You betray me?" Traps. Flutes. Crossbows. Axes. Trees. Our heroes must use every last tool at their disposal to repel their fungal invaders. But will they be able to pronounce "myconid" correctly? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Craig Pate as GM Cinderblocksally as Frances Sam Oliver as Tilly Cat (@helveticat) as Olives Soundtrack Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Kids on Bikes by Hunters Entertainment Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"You breath in... and fall asleep"Big changes are coming for the kids of Rally. School, careers, and the creeping threat of fungal infestation. Can our nascent keep Olive a secret and keep Rally safe?  Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Craig Pate as GM Cinderblocksally as Frances Sam Oliver as Tilly Cat (@helveticat) as Olives Soundtrack Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Kids on Bikes by Hunters Entertainment Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"What's a hoofalump?"As our heroes leave behind their forest home, so too do they leave behind the kids of Rally. Which is a good thing, because someone has to keep an eye out on the things that haunt the woods. But will they know what to do when they find actually something out there? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Craig Pate as GM Cinderblocksally as Frances Sam Oliver as Tilly Cat (@helveticat) as Olives Soundtrack Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Kids on Bikes by Hunters Entertainment Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"You're Not My Mom!"In the final chapter of our little tale, Angie, Shoe, and Blueberry must contend with an octopus, the military, and more. Will their new found friendship be enough to overcome the dark machinations of the Scavenger Dandies? Probably not.    == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Emily Greymoore as Angie Sam Oliver as Blueberry Becca "Caustic Phoenix" as Shoo Soundtrack "Bit of Cheek" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"You gotta use your head!" Angie, Blueberry and Shoe's continued  journey to save their Human Baker takes them from noble estates guarded by wiley beasts to rancid catacombs harboring all sorts of darkness. Just how deep does this rabbit hole go?Hopefully not too deep. They are very short heros.    == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Emily Greymoore as Angie Sam Oliver as Blueberry Becca "Caustic Phoenix" as Shoo Soundtrack "Bit of Cheek" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"Are you gonna eat me?" In the city of Agravar, humans aren't the only folk that are trying to get by. Join Angie the Pigeon, Blueberry the snake, and Shoo the bat as they try to navigate the city's shady underbelly to help a friend in need.  Hopefully the capybara leave them alone.   == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Emily Greymoore as Angie Sam Oliver as Blueberry Becca "Caustic Phoenix" as Shoo Soundtrack "Bit of Cheek" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"We are the wind. We are ash. And We. Are. Fire." The Lord Bethany lies in shambles. The forces of Admiral Typhus are closing in. And still no one has explained why someone put Saphira in a crate. Will our heroes make it home untarnished? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Patrick Perini as GM Cinderblocksally as Hoagie Craig Pate as Kind Ibraheem as Marv Soundtrack “Wine-Drunk Sea” by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Rapscallion by Magpie Games Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"Our ship is fast, but fate is a good hunter." A baby? In a crate? It's more likely than our heroes would have thought. Join Hoagie, Kind, and Marv as they race their precious cargo away from the murderous Kawa navy and straight into the welcoming arms of a raging hurricane. Will they survive with ship in tact? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Patrick Perini as GM Cinderblocksally as Hoagie Craig Pate as Kind Ibraheem as Marv Soundtrack “Wine-Drunk Sea” by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Rapscallion by Magpie Games Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"Every day, a new story dies. But legends live on at sea..." Three bumbling buccaneers have been entrusted with a simple job: retrieve treasure out from under the chaos of a naval invasion.  Surely, everyone will be too preoccupied to interfere. Nevertheless, will our heroes come away with their expected loot? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Patrick Perini as GM Cinderblocksally as Hoagie Craig Pate as Kind Ibraheem as Marv Soundtrack “Wine-Drunk Sea” by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Game System Rapscallion by Magpie Games Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"What remains below, at the edge of our hopes, is a song." In the wreckage of a remembered fire, The Shepherd struggles with his truth. In the hollow of a deafening silence, The Song finds his. But will they, together with The Phantom's newfound confidence, be enough to begin reincarnation? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Patrick Perini as GM Emily Greymoore as The Phantom Sayer Roberts as The Shepherd Hunter W. Thompson as The Song Soundtrack "Endless Beginnings" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"I don't need to make up stories, unlike you." The Shepherd, The Phantom, and The Song have followed the end of death to a place of gods and mirages. They have been offered a chance: recapture three lost truths for The Witness to prove the worthiness of mortals and begin the cycle of reincarnation. Will they succeed? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Cast Patrick Perini as GM Emily Greymoore as The Phantom Sayer Roberts as The Shepherd Hunter W. Thompson as The Song Soundtrack "Endless Beginnings" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"It gives... but it takes so much..." In the final chapter of Blight at the Museum, our heroes make their way to the main exhibit of the Grand Museum Opening. What awaits them beyond the threshold? Something changing... something new. == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Tyler Clawson as Phlangin Harlock Emily Greymoore as Perrin McArthur Craig Pate as Dwight Hearttaker Soundtrack "Stolen Scepter" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"As the party makes their way through the catacombs below the Museum, they discover more than what the Empire wants hidden down there." Will they find a shortcut to the Scepter or will the old tomb's echoes from the past consume them? Who knows?   == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Tyler Clawson as Phlanagin Harlock Emily Greymoore as Perrin McArthur  Craig Pate as Dwight Hearttaker  Soundtrack "Stolen Scepter" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"In the heart of Altair, the capital city of Ostilla, something strange is stirring." The Old Altair Museum of Antiquities is having a grand opening as it transforms into the Imperial Heritage Museum! The who's-who of the city will all be there. This will be a glorious day for the empire. Or... maybe it'll turn into a heist featuring some unexpected evils... Who knows? == CREDITS == Cast Cinderblocksally as GM Tyler Clawson as Phlanagin Harlock Emily Greymoore as Perrin McArthur Craig Pate as Dwight Hearttaker  Soundtrack "Stolen Scepter" by Patrick Perini Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio Follow us on Bluesky @uepodca.st

"And, for now, that is enough." Isaac has sacrificed himself to free the Reclaimer and take back the world from the violent will of men. Will he need all of his friends to help him let go? Yes.   == CREDITS == Soundtrack Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio A special thanks to our Rally community for their contributions to the humming chorus: Silent Bard, Jadyn Carroll, The Oricami Curio, Phoebe Denison, Maldwyn Giannakodimos, GreyWanderer, icewindgale, ItzChubbalump, lalaboowelsh, Alex Lewis, Sam Oliver, Sadie Pasley, Sean Quinn, Michael-John Reeler, Kat Sanzo, Brendan K. Schatzki, Nick B. Schatzki, Soup, TheKojiIsHere, TheMerryMeg, and Marie Vivi

"Keep your eyes on me." High Scepter is gone, never to be remembered. But the scars of his actions remain. Will our heroes forever rid the world of his influence? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Soundtrack Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio

"We all need to learn from our mistakes. But we don't need to learn from yours." The final fight begins. Will our heroes rid the world of the Empressar once and for all? Probably not.   == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Scepter Drones" by Sayer Roberts "Stronger Realized" by Sayer Roberts Additional music via Epidemic Sound and Tabletop Audio

"That's probably too many cigarettes." BOOM! Surprise bonus episode in which Patrick, Emily, and Cinder talk about all the things we're going to be doing after The end of Rally.