The Unlock Lab

Ep. 69 How to Reduce Your Triggers and Strengthen Your Emotional Intelligence

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

1 month ago

1 hour 12 minutes 53 seconds

The Unlock Lab

This week on The Unlock Lab, I talk about how to address and manage our triggers, which is very much tied to working our emotional intelligence muscles. Triggers can feel overwhelming whether they happen in personal relationships or in the workplace, but they don’t have to derail you. In this episode, I talk about how I have responded to triggers in a way I'm not proud of, and how I learned to come back to compassion, truth and self-respect. I explain why triggers are actually gifts, how to use them as guides for healing, and share actions that you can take to help you recover faster, and experience them less often over time.

Episode Highlights:

Practical ways to pause, create space and respond with intention.
Reframing triggers as opportunities for healing, growth and better leadership
Why compassion and ownership reduce the impact of future triggers.

Quotables:

[00:00:33]

"Improve your emotional intelligence. It's really important to do this work, not just for the personal relationships in your life, but your professional relationships."

[00:09:47]

"I wrote about this triggering experience and it took me about a day to move through the emotions. I had to let myself feel what was coming up and what was coming up were emotions, not from actually the present moment, but they were coming up from the past."

[00:26:41]

"There are certain emotions that we are afraid of having. Anger is one of them and I believe all emotions serve us. They're our greatest teacher and they show us where the work is."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 68 The Audacity of Leadership with Anton Gunn (Part 2 of 2)

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

1 month ago

31 minutes 27 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In Part 2 of my two part series with Anton Gunn, we move deeper into the journey, from discouragement and struggle to leading at the highest levels of government. This isn’t a story about chasing titles, it’s about what it takes to lead with conviction when the path is unclear. Anton shares how hip hop music helped him survive his darkest moments, how a single mentor changed the trajectory of his life, and how staying rooted in service carried him all the way to advising a president. This episode is about grit, guidance, and the kind of servant leadership we need more of.

Anton's Bio

Anton Gunn has a Masters Degree in Social Work from University of South Carolina and was a resident Fellow at Harvard. He is the bestselling author of 'The Presidential Principles' and has been featured in TIME Magazine, Forbes, BBC, NPR and on Good Morning America. Recently, Anton was named by Fierce Healthcare as one of the Most Influential Minority Executives in Healthcare.

As an international speaker and consultant, he has worked with organizations like Mercedes Benz, T-Mobile, Entrepreneurs' Organization Sodexo, KPMG, Verizon Wireless, Aetna, Blue Shield of California, American College of Surgeons, FINRA, and the Boeing Company.

From playing SEC Football and being the first African American in history elected to the SC legislature from his district early in his career, to now serving on multiple boards, he has spent his life helping people build diverse high performing teams and world class leadership culture.

Episode Highlights:

How hip hop became the soundtrack of Anton's life, and a survival tool.
The story of how one leader, not only saw his potential but equipped him to lead, and how that shaped everything that followed.
How Anton followed his passion for fighting injustice led him from community organizing, to an elected office, to the White House and building his own consultancy.

Quotables:

[00:02:25]

"All of our lives are movies and we go to different scenes. We go to different segments of our life that are different scenes in a movie, different parts of the story. And every great movie has a soundtrack."

[00:12:22]

"People talk about knowledge is power. Lenora gave me a lot of knowledge, but what she gave me more than just knowledge is she taught me how to apply that knowledge, because applied knowledge is actually power."

[00:34:16]

"You may not be able to solve everything, but there is something that you can do to make it right. That's what I've been teaching to leaders from stages, is that it may be wrong in your culture. It may be wrong in your company. It may be wrong on your team. There may be things that are out of your control, but there is something that you can do to make it right."

Anton's Links and Resources:

Free leadership toolkit

The Presidential Principles Book

Facebook

X (Twitter)

This episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by Holly

HumanDesignByHolly.com

Use Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first reading

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 67 The Audacity of Leadership with Anton Gunn (Part 1 of 2)

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

2 months ago

40 minutes 29 seconds

The Unlock Lab

Get ready for the leadership conversation you didn't know you needed. In this special 2-part series, you will meet Anton Gunn, former senior advisor to President Barack Obama, and one of the world's leading authorities on socially conscious leadership.

Part 1 dives into Anton's raw and unfiltered story, from college football disappointments and careers dead ends to moments of powerlessness that nearly broke him. What unfolds is a masterclass in perseverance, humility and the mentor that changed Anton's life for years to come.

We talk about service, career pivots and the beautiful way life reroutes us to our calling, if we're paying attention. Anton generously shares moments of darkness behind incredible success and impact, with a determination to defeat all the odds.

Episode Highlights:

A college football dream became a catalyst for leadership and inner strength.
The power of mentorship, generosity and not blocking your blessings.
Finding purpose in pain and learning how to lead from a place of power.

Quotables:

[00:07:09] - Anton

"One of the cornerstones of my philosophy in life is to be useful to the people around you, because we can't control everything."

[00:15:46] - Anton

"I lost focus on the goals that I wanted, the things that I wanted. I was in what I call a hostile environment, that I threw what I wanted to do out of the window, and my only point was to survive. To me, surviving was, how do I get a college degree as fast as possible to get away from these coaches and to get away from this school?"

[00:42:28] - Anton

"Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain that it takes to change."

Anton's Links and Resources:

Free leadership toolkit

The Presidential Principles Book

Facebook

X (Twitter)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 66 Untapped Talent for the Future of Work with Benjamin Wolff

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

3 months ago

44 minutes 17 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week’s episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk to Benjamin Wolff, for a powerful conversation about the value of artistic and creative skills in the workplace. Ben is a Forbes leadership contributor, author, and former professional cellist. In our conversation he shares his personal journey from the concert stage, to corporate talent solutions, and we talk about why human skills like storytelling, emotional intelligence, and deep focus matter more than ever in the age of AI. We talk about what it really means to bring creativity into business, not just as performative one-hit-wonders, but as a core strategy for growth and innovation. This one is for anyone who’s ready to see talent differently.

Benjamin Wolff has been a Forbes Leadership contributor since 2017, writing about what corporate workplaces can learn from the arts. With his background as a professional cellist he brings a unique perspective to the conversation around business finding value in untapped pools of talent. He has delivered innovative programs on creativity, teamwork, and emotional intelligence for companies and organizations such as Cisco, Ingram Micro, the Association for Manufacturing Excellence, the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and Rockefeller University.

Episode Highlights:

How artists bring essential human skills, like focus, storytelling, and emotional intelligence into the workplace.
Why now is the moment for organizations to rethink hiring practices and embrace creative talent in the age of AI.
Practical ways leaders can start integrating creativity into their teams, including “translator” roles and creative personal practices.

Quotables:

[00:03:44]

"A lot of people, they appreciate the arts. They enjoy the arts, but what they get is the product. They go to the theatre and they see a play, or they see a movie, or they hear a concert, or they see a ballet. But most people, unless they're connected professionally in some way, never see what goes into it."

[00:14:47]

"Immeasurable is different from unmeasurable in that, it's something that not only can't you measure, but that shouldn't be measured."

[00:22:32]

"Core skills are the things that it's very hard to teach. You can learn about the specifics of a job, but those other skills you take with you from experience to experience, from job to job, they become part of your core. It is critical for Corporations to think about who they hire."

Ben's Links:

Book: The Value of Immeasurable Things

Website

YouTube

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 65 One Decision Away. A Conversation with David Atkins.

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Cello music by Benjamin Wolff

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

3 months ago

48 minutes 40 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I speak with former state police officer turned inspirational speaker, David Atkins. David shares his winding career story and opens up about the exact moment he made one bold, pressing decision that changed everything. From working through financial struggles with his wife, to becoming a successful businessman and speaker, David shows how vision, faith and courage fuel transformation. We dive into practical steps, and what it takes to rewrite your story starting TODAY. This conversation packs a powerful punch for how to get unstuck through David's "One Decision Away" philosophy. Whether you're feeling down and out, or would love an infusion of energy to continue to propel you forward, this episode is for you!

David Atkins is a retired New York State Police Captain after 22 years of service. While working full time with the NY State Police, David also built a million dollar international direct sales business with Beachbody, leading a team of 1,400 people today. He became a Keynote Motivational Speaker presenting to groups of a few hundred people to over 20,000 people in the NFL Super Dome in New Orleans. David published his first book "The Leveled Up Life", is the creator of "The One Decision Away Philosophy" and host of the Personal Perseverance Project Podcast.

Episode Highlights:

The moment David sat down with his wife and made the one decision that changed everything.
How fear, faith and daily discipline fuel real transformation.
Why you're never too far gone, and why your next breakthrough could be one choice away.

Quotables:

[00:25:34] - David

"If you're willing to make that one decision today don't worry about three weeks, three months, three years from now. Life will reveal to you what comes next if you're willing to make that one pressing decision in your life today."

[00:45:12] - David

"What you have is plenty because it's so easy to get caught up with the outside noise on social media and the news and the negativity and all of that stuff. But I'm a big believer like what you have in front of you is plenty, and you know what you need to do."

[00:49:26] - David

"You have to take care of yourself first, and then you're the best version of yourself for those people that you care about the most."

David Atkins Links:

Website (note: buy the book here from 7.15-7.20, 2025 and receive 3 bonuses)

This episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by Holly

HumanDesignByHolly.com

Use Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first reading

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 64 Making Decisions With Confidence

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

3 months ago

54 minutes 35 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week's episode, I talk about how to make decisions with more confidence by leaning into self trust, patience and self compassion. I share practical ways to reduce the stress and overwhelm that often come with decision making, like slowing down the urgency, getting intentional with small choices and remove the distraction of figuring out the "how" before you've even landed on '"what" the decisions even is. I also dive into the importance of listening to your body, taking mental space, and relieving the pressure valve of having to make a perfect decisions. These principles can help you make more grounded, empowered choices in your personal and professional life.

Episode Highlights:

How questioning the urgency of a decision can give you instant clarity.
Small choices that build long term trust in yourself.
Why the "how" can wait, and what to focus on instead.

Quotables:

[00:08:53]

I would say most of the time when we're struggling with a decision the pathway to doing that is not about asking other people about it, it's about going inward for yourself. We can be looking for all the answers in this period of overwhelm, when actually the best thing that we can do is to actually stop trying to figure it out."

[00:11:34]

"I was going with the flow I was making the smaller choices about the things that worked for me and what didn't work for me as it related to this relationship. Eventually what ended up happening was my body told me very clearly, this person isn't for you."

[00:20:20]

"I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves that once we make a decision is final and it is it, and that is not true, we can change our mind. We can make a different decision."

This episode is generously sponsored by: Human Design by Holly

HumanDesignByHolly.com

Use Code: UNLOCKLAB to get 25% off when booking your first reading

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep 63. Why Hiding Is Holding You Back. A Conversation with Ruth Rathblott.

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

3 months ago

31 minutes 12 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I'm joined by Ruth Rathblott for a powerful and personal conversation about the cost of hiding who we are. Ruth opens up about concealing her limb difference for over 25 years, and what changed when she finally decided to show up fully. From navigating corporate spaces to embracing her identity as a speaker and author, Ruth walks us through her journey and shares her four-step framework to unhide. We dig into the emotional toll of hiding, how it holds us back in our relationships and careers, and what becomes possible when we step into authenticity and invite others to do the same.

Ruth Rathblott, MSW, is an expert on workplace culture and leadership, a TEDx and global keynote speaker, a 2x bestselling author, and an award-winning former nonprofit leader. Born with a limb difference, Ruth speaks on the power of embracing uniqueness, unlocking untapped potential and peak performance, and how the transformative act of unhiding leads to greater freedom and connection.

Episode Highlights:

Ruth shares her four step process to unhiding
The real life consequences of hiding at work and in life and how it can lead to exhaustion, disconnection and missed opportunities
Why leaders have to go first to create cultures where people feel safe to show up as themselves

Quotables:

[00:13:35] - Ruth

"I literally hid my hand for 25 years. Every outfit I had, always had pockets, longer sleeves, even in summer, just so that I could hide it. I hid it behind bags. I hid it from pictures, I was hiding it all the time. And when we talk about the cost of it, it was exhausting, lonely, and it was something I thought about all the time, it took over my life."

[00:20:15] - Ruth

"The true gift of connection, is when we can share our differences so that we don't have to keep a facade. We don't have to be perfect, because in our gifts, in that uniqueness, is perfection."

[00:29:19] -Ruth

"Could you be living your best life? Are you living your best life? How do we, how do you do that? And part of that is the unlocking of what's holding you back. One of the pieces that may be holding you back is the thing that you're hiding."

Ruth's Links and Resources:

TEDx: When I Stopped Hiding, I Found Freedom

Ruth's Books:

Singlehandedly. Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection.

Unhide & Seek. Live Your Best Life. Do Your Best Work.

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 62 An Unexpected Love Story

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

4 months ago

1 hour 6 minutes 9 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this special episode, I share my personal love story, celebrating 15 years of marriage. I take you behind the scenes of our relationship; the highs and the hard lessons and how this journey has helped me grow as a person, partner, and as a leader. I unpack eight key takeaways that apply just as much to leadership as they do to love. This episode is a reflection and an invitation to look at how your closest relationships can spark transformation in every area of life, if you tend to the soil they are rooted in.

Episode Highlights:

The power of trusting your body and intuition in decision making.
How freedom and commitment can coexist in healthy relationships
Eight lessons learned that translate into personal and professional growth.

Quotables:

[00:07:03]

"At the end of the day, I think that our ability to come back and communicate and be honest with each other has been what's allowed us to last as long as we have."

[00:10:57]

"What I want you to take away from this is that you deserve to be loved fully for who you are; flaws included, make up excluded. Feel safe with the one you love."

[00:19:25]

"No matter your commitment, your commitment to somebody else or something else, or an organization, know that you are always free. You are always free in your heart. And let that lead you and let you never forget that."

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 61 Stop Blocking Your Blessings

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

4 months ago

24 minutes 42 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week's episode, I talk about something that you are probably doing without knowing it. You may be blocking your own blessings. I share my journey of learning to receive, and releasing the habits that kept me from fully embracing life's abundances. I offer practical advice on how to become more aware of these habits and start embracing the generous offers and support from others. If you've ever felt like you're giving too much, saying no too often or shielding yourself from vulnerability, this one's for you. When we open the door to receive it is a huge pathway to professional breakthroughs as well - because it helps us to remain open to opportunities and connection.

Episode Highlights:

The most common ways we block blessings and how to stop them
The emotional roots of self sabotage, like unworthiness and perfectionism
Daily practices to become more open to receiving and living in alignment with abundance

Quotables:

[00:05:37]

"If you are overgiving, you are leaving no space for people to contribute. That means you are blocking your blessings, and you may never know what could have been possible because you are not leaving that space."

[00:18:02]

"When you look deeply at our habits of blocking our blessings, it's putting up walls. Perhaps feeling not worthy of what's being presented to us."

[00:24:28]

"Maybe what the other person needs is an opportunity to be generous, an opportunity to express gratitude. Perhaps the other person is in the process of their growth of being. So when you allow that exchange, it's a gift not just to yourself, but it's a gift to the other person too."

This episode is sponsored by: Tosca Coaching and Consulting

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 60 The #1 Question To Get Unstuck

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

4 months ago

27 minutes 32 seconds

The Unlock Lab

This week I dive deep into one of the most powerful yet overlooked tools for personal growth: asking ourselves 'what do I need?' This episode is all about acknowledging that you are worthy of having your needs met. I share stories about my own therapy breakthroughs, treadmill revelations, and health wake-up calls. I also share practical ways to start meeting your needs as this is a huge unlock for how to get unstuck in whatever emotional wave, or less-than ideal situation you may be spinning in.

Episode Highlights:

Why asking 'What do I need?' is a game changer and why it can be so hard
What it can look like to honor your needs in the moment
How our bodies speak the truth when we ignore what we truly need
The way vulnerability and needs are connected

Quotables:

[00:03:48]

"I want you to feel what you're feeling. Let those emotions come up. Because emotions are energy in motion, and if you help them to keep moving, they will transform."

[00:16:23]

"Giving yourself what you need might literally mean I'm taking a vacation, I'm giving myself what I need, but it also might mean I need to ask somebody else to help me fill this need that I have."

[00:22:40]

"When we're not in the habit of really asking ourselves what our body needs, we can end up in a situation where our body is literally screaming at us and saying, Hey, you can't ignore this anymore."

This episode is generously sponsored by: Mindset Migraine

Website

The Daily Grind by Adrian DiMatteo

Use the code TOSCA for a new customer discount

Song referenced in episode:

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 59 Inner Critic Series: You Shouldn't Eat That

Giving Flowers :

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

5 months ago

29 minutes 14 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week's episode of The Unlock Lab, I talk about the food inner critic, that nagging voice so many of us deal with when it comes to eating and our food choices. This is something I've battled with myself as I grew up in a household with deep associations with food (some good and some not so good). Then, my inner critic became even louder once I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 22. Tune in to discover what may lie under the surface of your inner critic. Learn some of my biggest tips for how to shift your relationship with this voice that is not only draining your energy, but dragging you down keeping you from what's most important - your joy! My hope is to help you move towards a healthier, more compassionate relationship with your food inner critic.

Episode Highlights:

How childhood shame and a Type 1 diabetes diagnosis shaped my food story
Tools to shift your relationship with food, including self talk awareness, journaling and redefining what food means to you
The impact of cultural and moral beliefs on how we view food

Quotables:

[00:02:28]

"I am someone who has struggled with my food, inner critic for much of my life and this episode is an attempt to bring to light this inner critic that is so prevalent for so many people."

[00:17:37]

"Paying attention to what you're saying to yourself can lead to a shift for a few reasons. It can lead to a shift because it becomes easier to make a new choice about what you want to say to yourself instead, but it can also help you realize how are you draining your own energy or your own life force by saying things that are unkind or untrue."

[00:22:23]

"Journaling questions so that you can get under the surface of what has become so instinctual and habitualize.: You can ask yourself, what are your beliefs around food? What are your beliefs around what it is, what it represents in your life? And then you can ask yourself, what do you want your relationship with food to be?"

Episode Sponsored by:

The New Body Project

(use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 58 How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

5 months ago

28 minutes 16 seconds

The Unlock Lab

This week I take a closer look at inner confidence, why self validation matters and how relying on external approval can hold you back. I share practical tips to help you build authentic confidence, like setting boundaries, protecting yourself from negative energy, journaling and creating moments of stillness and reflection. I break down the difference between self worth and self confidence with the help of Jamie Kern Lima (from her book WORTHY), and highlight how facing your fears and resistance is key to building self trust.

Episode Highlights:

Why confidence isn't something to fix but something to uncover.
The surprising power of stillness, silence and intentional action in rebuilding confidence.
How to recognize and break fee from outdated narratives that erode self belief.

Quotables:

[00:04:28]

“What I think that confidence really is, it's about honoring that you know the truth about who you are and what you are capable of."

[00:09:48]

"At the core of what happens when we lose our confidence is that we forget who we are, we are often running on outdated narratives and when we have gone down the spiral of self doubt, and are losing our confidence is that we let what happens to us define who we are"

[00:25:06]

"What we truly believe about ourselves is what enables our inner confidence to shine through, and I believe that the biggest work around this is actually in removing the obstacles to seeing our truth."

Episode Sponsored by:

Atrium82

(Mention Tosca and you will receive a special gift when you book)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 57 Upgrading Your Personal Brand

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

5 months ago

33 minutes 18 seconds

The Unlock Lab

This week I talk about what it looks like to upgrade your personal brand; not just the glossy parts, but the messy, real, and deeply personal journey behind it. I share how I navigated reworking my messaging, investing in a new website and photos, and digging into the truth of who I am today as a speaker and business owner. Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, deep in your entrepreneurial path, or thinking about your legacy, personal branding is about playing the long game, and it's one you deserve to enjoy and love. I mean - when you love you - the rest becomes magic! I'm sharing my lessons, missteps, and wins so that you can feel validated, inspired, and empowered to take the next step with your own brand.

Episode Highlights:

Why personal branding isn’t just for entrepreneurs, it’s essential for anyone who wants to manage their career narrative with intention and authenticity.
My recent rebranding journey: from reimagining my website and getting new photos, to finding messaging that feels aligned with the next chapter of my business.
Advice about trusting yourself, investing before you feel ready, and why your brand is a living, breathing reflection of your evolution.

Quotables:

[00:04:33]

"Brands aren't static and we're constantly evolving it, and that is definitely the case for me. I'm always making updates, whether it's my bio, my descriptions on my social channels, like you name it. There is always something that I'm updating."

[00:25:26]

"Your personal brand is really about the long game, even if you're listening to this and you're not looking for your next opportunity, or you're not looking for your next client. Personal branding is still something to be active and proactive about because there will come a day where you will need someone to know your name."

[00:26:55]

"I love helping people with their brands because when we see ourselves, it makes us feel really good. It helps boost our confidence to say, right, that's what I do. That's who I am. That's what I believe in. That's the aesthetic that lights me up."

Episode Sponsored by:

The New Body Project

(use code TOSCA to unlock a free week of unlimited classes with your trial session)

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 56 Inner Critic Series: After the Noise, Then What?

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

6 months ago

32 minutes 5 seconds

The Unlock Lab

In this week’s episode, I talk about what happens after the inner critic gets quieter, when the noise dies down and we’re left with space. The question becomes: what do I fill that space with? I share a story from a client who had done the work of naming and setting boundaries with her inner critic, but found herself unsure of how to bring in something new. That moment sparked this episode. I walk through some of the ways we can start bringing in more of the good stuff, things like affirmations, music, small rituals, joy, creativity, and connection. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about choosing what you let in when you’ve finally made space for something better.

Episode Highlights:

What it looks like to shift from quieting the inner critic to inviting in something new
Tools for building yourself back up
How creativity, music, and community support the healing process

Quotables:

[00:04:59]

"After you've said, no Negative Nancy, I'm not listening to you today. You are no longer needed here, then what you can do is say, I am manifesting magic in my life every day so that you come back to the truth, you come back to what it is that you want for yourself."

[00:07:22]

"Listening to music can also be a tactic for drowning out your inner critic narrative when it's really loud. Because when you're listening to loud music, you kind of can't think about much else."

[00:15:22]

"It is important to allow others to be our cheerleader for us at the same time where we are building the muscle for ourselves. And so I invite you to ask yourself, what is the goodness that I wanna bring into my life proactively?"

Tosca’s Links and Resources:

Ep. 55 Inner Critic Series: Networking Sucks

Giving Flowers To:

Theme music by: Adrian DiMatteo

Podcast edited by: Landis Podcast Editing

6 months ago

18 minutes 1 second

The Unlock Lab

This week’s episode is for anyone who’s ever felt that tug of war about whether or not to go to a networking thing. I’m talking about why it can feel so hard, even when we know it might actually help us. Whether you’re job hunting, prospecting for clients, or just thinking about saying yes to a social invite, the inner critic loves to chime in with stuff like, “You don’t belong,” “It’s gonna be draining,” or “You’ll feel like an outsider.” I share a few stories from my own life, ones that break down how past experiences shape the way we show up now.

Episode Highlights:

The inner critic narratives that shut us down before we even show up.
How I relate to connection and how I’ve reframed those experiences.
Simple practice to separate truth from inner critic noise, to show up more aligned and less transactional.

Quotables:

[00:06:02]

"We have to really make space for possibility because our inner critic tells us things in such definitive terms, like it will be this. This is what exactly is gonna happen. And our inner critic can't predict the future. So we have to be very mindful when we hear things like absolutes in the messages that we're telling ourselves."

[00:15:30]

"Maybe the word 'Networking' itself is triggering to you. I know it definitely can be triggering to people, so maybe you might wanna consider what, maybe I need to reframe, what's the word I want to use instead of networking so that I'm not bringing the baggage of what that networking word means to me."

[00:18:13]

"Maybe your goal is to just go l, and just going is the success metric. Maybe it's, you know what? I just wanna meet one person that I vibe with while I'm there that may extend to a conversation outside of that event."

Tosca’s Links and Resources: