1. We all experience the feeling being stuck sometimes.
2. The state of "stuck" is an opportunity,
3. Your perception of "stuck" will determine how you experience it--you hold the power to decide.
4. Self-awareness is key and so is the movement forward--all steps are meaningful regardless of size of shift.
5. Seek support in helping to get Unstuck.
Take-aways
1. Conflict is normal.
2. Conflict is an opportunity for growth.
3. If conflict escalates--call a pause and time to reconvene.
3. How to address conflict: get curious, avoid blame, use I statements, avoid absolutes, do not attack character, address behaviour.
4. Reflection: what is your relationship with conflict? From where/whom did you adopt this relationship? Is it serving you in a productive way?
1. What is difference between guilt & shame?
2. Where does shame begin?
3. What perpetuates and what challenges shame?
4. How do you confront shame?
Brené Brown
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C6UELitWkw
1. Get to know yourself where you are at in the present and what fits for you in the present.
2. Be open and transparent about what you are looking for.
3. Do not attach self to future relationship outcomes.
4. Offer yourself grace as you figure it out.
5. You do not need to be in relationship--being coupled is not the ideal for everyone.
1. We move through life with healthy expectations. All behaviour is on a continuum—can shift from healthy to problematic.
2.Expectations can lead to resentments if left unchecked.
3. How do you check this pattern of behaviour? Do you notice absolute statements? e.g. I never get what I need. Are you attached to outcomes? Do you notice pattern in conflicts—other relationships or repeated conflict in same relationship?
4. How do we navigate expectations? Honesty with self and other, vulnerability, communication, accountability, and negotiation of expectations.
1. Grief is not linear.
2. Grief can be masked by other emotions.
3. There are many intersectionalities that affect how loss is experienced.
4. While the experience of loss is universal, it is unique to the individual in how it is felt, expressed, and processed.
Love Language Quiz Link
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
The App: Love Nudge
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/love-nudge/id495326842
1. There are internal and external barriers to emotional intimacy.
2. Get curious and communicate.
Gottman Card Deck Link
https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/gottman-card-decks/id1292398843
Tina and Erin discuss accepting self in the present--YOU are enough in the NOW.
1. Emotional Intimacy is supported by vulnerability, trust, and empathy.
2. Feelings/emotions are not good or bad. Allow yourself to feel them, notice them, and be curious as to what they are calling your attention to.
3. Give yourself permission to feel even when it is not supported or validated by another person.
2. A great strategy to foster emotional intimacy is in Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight (p.49).
She uses the acronym ARE (Accessibility-can I reach you-staying open even when emotions are difficult; Responsiveness-can I rely on you to respond to me; Engagement-do I know you will value me and stay close?).
Esther Perel's Questions for Exploration:
What is erotic for you?
What is an erotic experience you had that was not sexual? When do you feel most free?
Do you prefer hot or cold water and where on your body do you like to feel it?
Do you prefer giving or receiving? Why?
What sense guides your erotic experiences the most? Visual, auditory, tactile, etc.?
What parts of yourself do you connect with in sex? The rebel? The caregiver? The dominant? The submissive?
Where do you go in sex? A place of abandon? To feel safely powerful? To transcend? To commune? A place where you can be mischievous?
1. Sexual intimacy is supported by trust, vulnerability, connection, and communication.
2. Context matters.
3. Get curious!
This episode is all about improving communication skills. Tune in to learn how to use the following strategies more effectively:
1. Reframing thought or belief.
2. Avoid using absolutes.
3. Use "and" instead of "but".
4. Avoid using "should" statements.
Contrary to popular belief, prioritizing self-love is the most valuable practice to love and support ourselves and others.
