“Hey Mom, did you lock the door? Are you sure? Are you SURE? How do I know you locked the door? Tell me the truth, did you lock the door? Can you check again? Can I check again?”
What can a parent do when a child asks questions over and over like: “Are you sure you locked the door?” or “How do I know you’ll be home when I get home from school today?” How can a parent know if this behavior is just “a phase” or if it’s something more?
Today we’re talking with Dr. Joanna Robin (www.https://westchesteranxietytreatment.com)
co-author of “The OCD Workbook for Kids: Skills to Help Children Manage Obsessive Thoughts and Compulsive Behaviors” about OCD and children.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), know as the “doubting disease”, is more than just an adjective; it’s a painful and often misunderstood disease. People who suffer from this disease struggle with intrusive images (obsessions) that force that person to engage in repetitions (compulsions) to feel better.
We’ll also discuss the most current research on PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections), conditions that are characterized by a sudden and severe onset of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) thought to affect certain children who've had strep infections.
We all manage to be relatively productive during our daily life, putting one small task after another, one small step after another. But have you ever wondered how you actually learned how to do this?
Executive functioning is the ability to organize tasks in such a way as to accomplish goals, but how we do it can vary wildly from person to person. We see this especially in the ways our children approach homework, for example. One child can sit at a desk for hours doing their homework while another may need to sit on the floor, or even listen to show tunes!
Our guest today is Val Marsden Fitzhugh (she/her), founder and executive director of Next Level Learn (www.NYCLearn.com), who will help us unpack and understand exactly what Executive Functioning is and how do you know if your child has issues with it?
You’ll come away with a greater understanding of your child's learning style and why your brain is like a CEO (it’s probably not what you think.)
Understanding and leaning into your child’s executive functioning style sets them up for success, giving them skills to get through all of life's difficulties, not just school.
Summer’s coming up fast, so what’s it going to be for your kids? Summer job? Lazing around? Day camp? Sleep-away camp? TikTok and video games 24/7?
Even if your options are limited, a plan is always a good idea. Julie and Elizabeth talk about how to include your child in making plans for the summer and how you can help them benefit from the experience.
A fulfilling summer doesn’t have to cost money, just a little creativity on your part! Thinking outside of the box and avoiding rigidity will allow your children to have a positive growth experience during the summer.
For those families that do choose camp, we talk about the best ways to prepare your child for their summer experience and what to do if they absolutely HATE IT!!!!
For many families, the dinner table has become a war zone. Because there are so many emotions tied up in how we feel about food and eating, these feelings can mold your child’s relationship with food in ways that we never even suspected.
Counselor and parenting expert, Emilie Vogas M.Ed, discusses some of the common issues that come up around food including picky eating, over eating, eating disorders as well as the “rules” that govern how we approach mealtime (sitting at a table vs. in front of the television) or what kind of etiquette we observe (chewing with your mouth closed, etc.)
In order to pass on healthy eating habits it’s important for parents to examine their own relationship with food. Was it punitive? (“You can’t leave the table until you’ve finished everything on your plate.”) Shaming? (“There are starving children who would give anything to have what’s on your plate.”) Privileged? (Throwing a tantrum until mom makes you mac and cheese for the hundredth time.)
Ultimately, we want to acknowledge and respect our children’s autonomy over their own bodies without becoming a short order cook. It’s our job as parents to teach them (and model) how to have a healthy relationship with food and eating.
In the podcast we reference some resources you may want to check out.
If you are facing food insecurity, we encourage you to look up food assistance programs on your State’s website and look at the WIC program website or the Food Assistance website.
Table Topics (www.tabletopics.com/products)
These are conversation starters for family discussion that help keep you and your kids off of screens at mealtime. For those unable to afford these conversation decks, consult your local library for lists of conversation starters.
Emilie Vogas is available for private consultations and workshops:
1-646-241-7775
emilie@EmilieVogas.com
It’s no secret that children develop emotionally, intellectually and physically at different speeds. The part that often gets overlooked, however, is that we as parents are also continually growing and changing. All these transitions going on at the same time can lead to some occasional collisions. But is there a way to make these transitions smoother and create opportunities for connection instead of battlegrounds?
Julie and Elizabeth will reveal various techniques that parents can use to stay calm and effective during these family upheavals and how timing our responses increases our ability to teach the lessons we need to teach our children.
In this episode, Elizabeth Cohen and Julie Ross help you determine what feelings disarm you as an individual parent and, in turn, make you less effective in teaching, protecting and supporting your child. They will also give you tools to handle your feelings so that you can be the best parent you can be.
Also, Julie Ross opens up about how one four word sentence helped her handle her feelings and gave her the strength to support her own, grown daughter during a traumatic time in her daughter's life.
The world is full of people, especially on social media, telling your kids that they just aren’t good enough, that they should just “quit while they’re ahead.” But there are ways you can help your kids counter these negative thoughts and replace them a positive view of themselves and their potential.
In this episode we talk with “Coach” Kevin Baker, a certified Life Coach for Tweens and Teens about ways parents can help kids get over life limiting beliefs and improve the potential in their lives.
We’ll talk about how parents sometimes accidentally limit their children’s potential and ways to turn that pattern around by replacing communication blocks with curiosity. Using the same instincts that we have with babies we can lean in to what they are interested in and engage in what genuinely excites them .
By abandoning your preconceived expectations about what your child “should” be, you’ll learn the value of giving up trying to “control” your kid and instead opting for “influence.”
We tend to take speech for granted but some parents become anxious when their infants and toddlers don’t hit certain milestones. Realistically, when are these concerns founded and what can parents do to avoid the misinformation and bad advice from the internet?
In this episode we interview a speech-language pathologist Tala Hershey, M.S. CCC-SLP, TSSLD (https://www.hersheytherapypractice.com/) who gives us practical advice on how to look for and encourage realistic and appropriate speech milestones.
We’ll answer the questions:
Do we need to explicitly teach toddlers to speak? Isn’t it a skill that just develops organically or do parents actually need to focus on building speech and language? What’s the difference between Expressive vs. Receptive Language and Pragmatic skills?
Finally, we’ll address the WORST way to teach our toddlers to talk and whether to “reward” toddlers for saying certain words (and avoiding others.)
When it comes to drug and alcohol use, it’s very tempting as parents to put your head in the sand and say "Not my kid” but that strategy never works, even if your kid isn’t actively experimenting (yet.) Since the most important component of prevention is education, the first step for parents is to get educated and be honest with yourself.
In this episode we’ll talk about what you need to know as a parent to effectively communicate your values and concerns to your kids, without them shutting you down.
When do kids commonly start experimenting with drugs and alcohol? Should you start having conversations with your kids before then? How do you explain the difference between abstaining vs. postponing? We’ll talk about how to navigate denial (both yours and your child’s) and what are the pros and cons of using monitoring and tracking apps like Life360.
And with so much at stake, when is it okay to allow natural consequences and when should you step in?
This episode will give your practical advice on how to navigate this potential minefield, and keep your relationship with your kid intact.
In this episode we talk with author Rebecca Vitsmun about her new book "Eliza Dee’s Universes."
As an autistic mother with neurodivergent children, Vitsmun was inspired by her personal experiences to provide an accessible story that inspires creative imagination in readers of all ages and backgrounds.
You’ll not only learn more about autism but also EDS, hyperphantasia and other “invisible” disabilities and how to spot them in your children. And while you shouldn’t rush in to diagnose or label your child, an accurate and timely diagnosis can be VERY helpful. We’ll also discuss what to do first, before getting your child diagnosed.
Kids do well, if they can. If they aren’t doing well, there is something standing in their way. From a practical standpoint that means:
Finally, we’ll address how to advocate for your child in a school system that may not provide services for neurodiverse children.
Have you ever gotten into an argument with your three year old and wondered “How did it come to this? I’m bigger, stronger, smarter and yet this little tyke has me on the ropes!!!!”
Have you tried to set a boundary with your teenager, only to have them“flip the script” and suddenly you’re on the defensive.
In this special podcast we interview certified hostage and conflict negotiator Karleen Savage M.A., author other “The Confident Teen Blueprint: A Parent’s 30 Day Challenge to Empower their Teen.”
We’ll discuss universal skills for conflict resolution that work with all children of all ages (including adult children!) Some of the techniques include:
If you’ve ever felt like a hostage in your own family, you’ll want to listen to this one.
Even parents of grown children sometimes wake up in a cold sweat reliving the battles in getting their 4 year old to go to sleep. In this episode we tackle head on the thorny but solvable challenge of getting your young child to go to sleep. After listening to this podcast, you’ll be primed to make bedtime more effective and relaxing for everybody.
Some of the topics we cover are:
When is the ideal time to switch your child from a crib to a bed?
Common causes that create difficulty falling asleep or middle of the night wakings.
How do you handle it if the child is afraid?
How much sleep do children this age actually need at night?
What is a healthy bedtime routine that promotes sleep?
In the end, it’s all about taking back parental authority by setting appropriate, respectful, firm boundaries while avoiding some of the common mistakes that parents make that inadvertently cause sleep problems.
We’ll give you tips on how to set limits and consequences that actually work and give you a realistic time frame about how long to expect before seeing results.
Finally, we’ll look at the more controversial topics: Do rewards work? And what about the “family bed”?
In this episode we interview clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Cohen clinical about the huge uptick in anxiety and depression in our kids since the pandemic and how CBT is providing a lifeline for many families.
Therapists using CBT work with anxious and depressed children and teens to help them identify the specific triggers that lead to their anxiety and give them strategies to develop resilience and to handle discomfort.
We also discuss how parents can work with the principals of CBT including taking a “fear inventory” to help their children and teens at home. Finally, we’ll discuss whether medication is helpful or something to be avoided.
“Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds.”
Sleep isn’t a luxury, and this is especially true among our tweens and teens. 77% of teens nationwide do not get the minimum number of hours of sleep they need each night (8 hours is the minimum.) And it’s no surprise that sleep deprivation leads to short-temperedness, risky behaviors; poor learning; inability to absorb, retain and retrieve new information; drowsy driving and poor mental health.
In this episode we interview Lisa L. Lewis, author of “The Sleep Deprived Teen” who helps us come up with a strategy for helping our kids get they sleep they desperately need.
We’ll uncover the truth about how a teen’s sleep patterns differ from the years prior to and after adolescence and how this Circadian rhythm shift affects them.
Finally, we’ll give parents tips for how to help your child self-regulate, make sleep a family priority and help overworked and over-scheduled teenagers achieve a balance in their sleep, social life, school work and extracurricular activities
It’s okay to not be okay: Self-care vs. that never ending, ever expanding TO DO list
Being a parent is A LOT of work and often very stressful. But there’s stress and then there’s STRESS, and a parent’s relationship to that stress can occasionally dip into unhealthy territory. But if that happens, there are ways to get back into balance and find a healthy way to cope.
In today’s episode we talk with Meredith Ethington, author of “The Motherload: Surviving the daily grind without losing your ever-loving mind.”
We start by debunking the idea that men and women are “wired” differently, and focus instead on how the pressure to conform to societal norms about men and women contribute to the fact that mothers typically bear the majority of the mental, physical and emotional load in families. We offer suggestions as to how mothers can learn to share that load so they don't feel so overwhelmed all of the time.
Finally, we talk about how it’s okay to not be okay. The mental load placed on mothers can sometimes lead to mental health issues and it’s important to talk about this. Destigmatizing mental health issues is critical and parents of all genders (partnered or not) do not need to feel shame about needing help. (And don't necessarily have to spend money to get that help.)
It’s a fact of life; at some point in their life, your kid is going to get knocked down by circumstances out of their control. But as uncomfortable as that truth may be, there are concrete steps you can take as a parent to foster resilience in your kid, the kind of grit that allows them to get up, dust off and get back on the horse.
In this episode we interview Kate Lund, the author of “Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive In School, Sports and Life”
We’ll identify the pillars of resilience and ways to help your kid identify and build upon the tools to reduce stress and increase confidence, even in the face of setbacks and disappointment.
Finally, we’ll talk about ways you can model resilience for your kid and how both your child (and you!) can learn to tolerate discomfort.
It’s going to happen sooner or later; you catch your kid in a lie. But what do you do? Is it a teachable moment or a warning sign? In this episode we talk with Colleen Doyle Bryant (https://colleendoylebryant.com), the author the book “Rooted in Decency: Finding Inner Peace In A World Gone Sideways.”
We’ll tackle the big questions: Why do kids lie? What are the 4 myths that parents buy into that cause kids to lie MORE? What’s the difference between calling kids out on a lie vs. punishing them for a lie? And what’s the difference between punishment and consequence?
Finally, we’ll unpack why shame never works and we’ll reveal the single most effective phrase to help your child become a good person.
Technology is not a “one size fits all” proposition. Children’s developing brains process digital media differently at different stages. The challenge for parents is how to embrace their role as “gate keeper” for younger children and then how to navigate into the role of “support system” as they get older.
In today’s episode we talk with Dr. Katie Davis, (https://katiedavisresearch.com) psychologist and author of “Technology’s Child: Digital Media's Role in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up”
We’ll discuss an effective two-step decision tool that will help you provide support across the full arc of your child’s development, from toddlers to young adults.
We’ll also talk about some of the fears that parents have today that technology can interfere with and disrupt an otherwise healthy attachment between parent and child and how to keep the lines of communication open to find out what your child is experiencing online (hint: no interrogation!)
In even the most sex positive families, talking particularly about pornography can be tricky at best. In this episode we continue our conversation with Amy Lang (BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com), about how to talk to your children about this complicated subject.
It’s important for parents to acknowledge that in today’s culture, it is unrealistic to assume your children will never see pornography. The average age at which most children are exposed to porn is 9 years. In fact even 7-8 year olds have also probably seen it, but just aren’t talking about it.
As uncomfortable as these statistics may be, it does no good to stick your head in the sand. The only way to deal with it is to develop a relationship based on honest communication. If you haven't already, you need to start talking to them about sex and sexuality so that they will talk to you about it.
We’ll discuss ways to talk to little kids about it, as well as tweens and teens. We’ll also provide other resources including book recommendations, what to do if you discover your child is watching porn and how to monitor and filter for porn on your child’s devices.
Birds and bees. We all know what that stands for but why are we being so squeamish? In this episode we talk about talking about sex. Our guest today is parenting educator Amy Lang (www.birdsandbeesandkids.com) who walks us through how parents can overcome their reluctance to talk openly with their kids about sex and sexuality.
Some of the topics we cover are:
We’ll also talk about some terms you may have already heard about: Non-binary, Queer, Cis-gender, Pansexual, Asexual, Bisexual and how do we handle all of this?
Finally, we begin the uncomfortable conversation about pornography and what parents can do and say to their kids about it. (This is the first part of this important discussion. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast so you’ll know when the second part drops.)
