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The Family Matters Show
Heather McKinnon & Benjamin Bryant
63 episodes
3 days ago
Specialist family lawyers Benjamin Bryant and Heather McKinnon and their special guests answer your questions about divorce, separation, children's matters, property settlement and family court. They empower you to make wise decisions for yourself and your family.
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Education
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All content for The Family Matters Show is the property of Heather McKinnon & Benjamin Bryant and is served directly from their servers with no modification, redirects, or rehosting. The podcast is not affiliated with or endorsed by Podjoint in any way.
Specialist family lawyers Benjamin Bryant and Heather McKinnon and their special guests answer your questions about divorce, separation, children's matters, property settlement and family court. They empower you to make wise decisions for yourself and your family.
Show more...
Education
Episodes (20/63)
The Family Matters Show
E63: Coping with the Holidays after Separation - BEST OF

With the holiday season just around the corner, we’re bringing back a very popular episode from 2022 featuring Elisabeth Shaw, CEO of Relationships Australia NSW.

Elisabeth is also a highly experienced clinical and counselling psychologist, specialising in couple and family therapy, with more than 25 years of wisdom to share.

In this episode, Elisabeth offers thoughtful and practical advice for anyone navigating the festive season after a separation or divorce—a time that can bring up all kinds of emotions and logistical challenges.

We cover a wide range of topics, including:

  • Why the holidays tend to heighten emotions and strain relationships

  • The emotional impact of your first major holiday without your ex—and how to manage it

  • Strategies for negotiating holiday arrangements for children

  • Helping kids handle their own feelings around the season

  • What to do if you're planning to travel with the kids

  • Coping with loneliness or resentment if you’re spending the holiday alone

  • And how to navigate holidays with adult children post-separation

Toward the end of the episode, Ben asks both Elisabeth and Heather for their one key piece of advice for couples facing their first Christmas apart—so be sure to stay tuned right through to the end.

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3 days ago
32 minutes 27 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Community Questions - Take 9

In this episode of The Family Matters Show, Ben and Heather answer real questions from the Coffs Coast community - questions that might be on your mind too.

  • Can I force the sale of a jointly owned home if we’ve only lived together 18 months?

  • What can I do if my ex is demanding too much and I can’t afford legal fees?

  • Do we really have to split parenting time 50/50?

  • Can I stop my ex from introducing the kids to a new partner after just a few weeks?

  • What are my options if my ex has stopped paying child support?

  • Should my HECS debt be considered in our property settlement?

  • What can I do if I suspect my ex is hiding business assets?

If you’ve been asking yourself any of these questions, this episode is packed with clear, practical answers.

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1 month ago
21 minutes 43 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Getting Finance after Separation

Ben and Heather are joined by Craig Budden from Aussie Home Loans in Coffs Harbour to discuss the tricky business of getting finance after separation.

Topic covered include:

  • The major challenges in getting finance post-separation
  • Credit scores: what are they and how can divorce impact on your score
  • How to rebuild your credit score if it takes a hit after separation
  • Do banks count child support or spousal maintenance when calculating your income?
  • Buying a new property if your name is still on a joint mortgage for the family home
  • Removing your ex's name from the joint mortgage if they stop making payments
  • What banks look for if you want to buy out your ex's share of the family home
  • Is it possible and/or reasonable to maintain a joint mortgage after separation?
  • Options for single parents seeking a home loan
  • The Family Home Guarantee scheme - what is it and who's eligible?
  • Top tips from Craig, Ben & Heather when seeking finance after separation
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2 months ago
20 minutes 39 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Non-financial Contributions & Property Settlement

Ben and Heather talk about the contributions to a marriage that can be factored into a property settlement, focusing on the non-financial contributions which can easily be missed. Together they discuss the following:

  • The legal definition of "contributions"
  • Step-children - parenting and paying for other people's children
  • Stay-at-home parents
  • Putting a partner through education
  • Living rent-free with the in-laws
  • How to ensure that all your contributions are considered in the property settlement
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3 months ago
21 minutes 40 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Transitioning to a Single Life

Ben and Heather are joined by Klaudia Gebert, psychologist and founder of Self Reflection, to talk about transitioning to a single person after separation. Topics discussed include:

  • Grieving the loss of your marriage/relationship
  • Overcoming loneliness
  • What people with multiple separations may be doing wrong
  • Regaining purpose after separation
  • Where to look for support with reinventing yourself
  • Casual dating after separation
  • Finding love again after separation
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6 months ago
27 minutes 53 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Is My Relationship Salvageable?

Ben and Heather speak to the Practice Specialist (Counselling) at Relationships Australia NSW about how to know if your relationship is salvageable. Sandra is a psychologist with a Masters in Couple and Family Therapy and years of experience in relationship counselling. She helps tease out answers to the following questions.

  1. If someone has started thinking about separation but hasn't yet spoken to their partner, what's the first thing they should do?
  2. What sorts of questions should someone ask themselves if trying to decide whether their relationship is worth saving?
  3. How can a psychologist or counsellor help in making the right decision?
  4. What are the signs that a relationship is really over?
  5. What are the signs it's worth trying again?
  6. If the relationship is worth saving, what should I be doing?


Sandra also considers 3 different scenarios and provides her thoughts on whether the relationship can move forward under these circumstances.


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8 months ago
31 minutes 34 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Changes to Family Law Legislation. What does it mean for you?

The Family Law Amendment Act 2023 was passed through parliament in October 2023 and took effect on 6 May 2024. The Act involves changes to how the Courts will make parenting orders in the "best interest of the child" and challenges the assumption of week-on week-off parenting post-separation.

In this episode, Ben and Heather discuss (and sometimes debate) the need for and impact of the changes.


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9 months ago
33 minutes 17 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Community Questions - Take 8

Ben and Heather have their eighth session answering questions from the Coffs Coast community - and there were some good ones this time.  Here are the topics covered:

  1. Can I get divorced in Australia if I married in another country?
  2. When does a de facto relationship (same-sex or heterosexual) begin from a legal perspective?
  3. Does the Family Court ever award costs to one partner if the other is being unreasonable?
  4. How will an expected inheritance be treated in the property settlement?
  5. Can my ex-partner prevent me from finding a good family lawyer by lawyer-shopping?
  6. Can I get financing for a family law court case?
  7. What happens when you can't agree on schooling for the kids?
  8. How can you prevent your ex from showing up at the family home unannounced?
Show more...
1 year ago
29 minutes 3 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Silver Divorce / Grey Separation

While the overall divorce rate in Australia is declining, there is an upward trend in divorce in couples over 50.  Ben and Heather talk about this phenomenon on this podcast and some of the unique complications that arise when calling quits on a long term relationship.

Topics covered include:

  1. Why the divorce rate is rising for older Australians.
  2. Dividing assets at the end of a long term relationship, including
  3. How the Court deals with health discrepancies.
  4. Advice for women to ensure their retirement needs are met.
  5. Child support for adult children.
  6. The value (or otherwise) of a pre-nuptial agreement when re-partnering.
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1 year ago
24 minutes 54 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Parent/child Contact Problems (including Parental Alienation)

Ben and Heather welcome special guest forensic psychologist Dr Robert Simon from San Diego California to talk about resist/refuse behaviour in children, including the heated subject of parental alienation.  Dr Simon is a specialist in child custody matters in the United States and is renowned for his expertise in parent/child contact problems.  He provides an excellent overview of the most common reasons for resist/refuse behaviour, and makes it clear that parental alienation is not the most common cause.

Topics discussed include:

  1. The difference between a clinical and forensic psychologist.
  2. The three main reasons for parent/child contact problems:
  3. The impact of wrongfully identifying the nature of parent/child contact problems.
  4. The Australian Family Law Court's approach to parent/child contact problems.
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1 year ago
27 minutes 11 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Things people do wrong in child custody disputes

Ben and Heather have put together a "top 10" list of mistakes people make when it comes to child custody disputes.  In this episode they explain why each of these is a mistake and what you could consider doing instead.

  1. Bad-mouthing the other parent – especially in front of your child.
  2. Trying to make your child feel sorry for you.
  3. Refusing to communicate with the other parent.
  4. Denying the other parent access to their child.
  5. Putting your own interests ahead of your child’s.
  6. Making big decisions about your child without consulting the other parent – ie/ school, medical treatment, place of residence.
  7. Telling your child that they get to choose their living arrangements.
  8. Lying to the court about your drug or alcohol use.
  9. Coaching your child before family report interviews.
  10. Breaching court orders.
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1 year ago
25 minutes 8 seconds

The Family Matters Show
How the Court deals with domestic violence

In this episode Ben and Heather are joined by barrister Rhys O'Brien, a specialist in complex family law matters, to talk about how the Court deals with Domestic Violence (Family Violence).  They cover a wide range of topics, including the following:

  • The difference between how a Family Law Court and a Criminal Court view domestic violence.
  • Apprended Violence Orders (AVOs)
  • Does there need to be an AVO in place before the Family Court considers domestic violence claims?
  • What evidence does the Family Court need to satisfy itself that domestic violence is an issue?
  • Will the court require Family Dispute Resolution (mediation) in domestic violence cases?
  • How do accusations of domestic violence affect Parenting Order decisions?
  • Can domestic violence claims impact a Court's decision about a financial settlement?

Also discussed was the Family Law Amendment Bill that has been passed through Parliament and will take effect in May 2024 and includes a "streamlined" parenting framework simplifying the "best interests factors".  This legislation may impact how the Court deals with domestic violence issues when deciding children's matters.

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1 year ago
26 minutes 10 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Community Questions - Take 7

This month Ben and Heather addressed a wide array of family law questions from the community, touching on a number of common issues faced by people going through divorce and separation.

The questions included:

  1. Medical Court Orders: I have court orders giving me sole parental responsibility for my child's medical matters, but the medical centre is still allowing my ex to make decisions.  What should I do?
  2. Passport Applications: I want to go overseas with my child, but my ex won't sign the passport application.  What can I do?
  3. Visitation in Prison:  My ex has gone to prison recently.  Can I prevent future visitation by my children?
  4. Mediation Costs: It's been recommended that I have a solicitor & a barrister at mediation.  Do I need to go to this expense?
  5. Domestic Violence: I failed to show up at to court when police charged my ex for domestic violence.  Will this count against me in Family Court?
  6. Relocation: My partner is relocating.  Do we need to get a lawyer involved to change parenting arrangements?
  7. Property Settlement: If I buy a new car before the property settlement is completed can my ex make a claim on the car?
  8. Advising Your Ex: Do I have to advise my ex that I've enrolled our child in daycare, when the child lives with me 100% of the time and I'm paying the costs?
  9. Supervised Visits: At what age can a child choose not to attend supervised visits?
Show more...
1 year ago
32 minutes 12 seconds

The Family Matters Show
How mediators and arbitrators handle power imbalances

On this episode, Ben and Heather were joined by The Honourable Colin Forrest.  Now retired from the Family Court, Colin now handles mediation and arbitration in family law.  We spoke to him about the delicate subject of managing power imbalances, and potentially domestic violence situations, in mediation and arbitration sessions.  Our discussions covered the following subjects:

  1. The difference between mediation and arbitration in family law.
  2. Whether you can be ordered to engage in mediation or arbitration.
  3. How a mediator/arbitrator will identify signs of abuse or power imbalance.
  4. Should domestic violence victims avoid mediation or arbitration?
  5. How are power imbalances dealt with in a mediation or arbitration setting?
  6. What about other vulnerabilities, such as mental health or disability?
  7. What does a mediator do if they sense fear or intimidation in a session?
  8. What happens if a court-ordered Family Dispute Resolution does not proceed?
  9. What are the advantages and disadvantages of online mediation/arbitration?
  10. Is a support person helpful in a mediation/arbitration?
Show more...
1 year ago
32 minutes 26 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Indigenous Family Law Courts

On this episode, Ben and Heather are joined by two special guests to discuss the growth of specialist Indigenous family courts, known as Indigenous List.  Retired Federal Circuit Court Judge Robyn Sexton started the very first Indigenous List in Sydney in 2014.  Rick Welsh is proud Murrawarri man and coordinator of The Shed suicide prevention centre focused on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.  These two worked together to design and implement a specialist Indigenous family law court.  Together they discuss the following:

  1. What is the Indigenous List?
  2. Why is there a need for a separate court process?
  3. How was the Indigenous community engaged with the set-up of the court?
  4. Are kin carers treated differently on the Indigenous List than in regular family court?
  5. Local experiences with the Indigenous List in Coffs Harbour and Lismore.
  6. What services are available to First Nations litigants other than those provided by the courts?
  7. How is the introduction of the Indigenous List impacting First Nations families?
Show more...
1 year ago
34 minutes 6 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Wills & Estate Planning: how things can go wrong

On this episode, Ben and Heather discuss Wills and estate planning, bringing our attention to the many things that can go wrong if you fail to keep your Will and estate plan up to date with your life circumstances, particularly following a family breakdown. They discuss the following questions and scenarios:


1/ What happens if you die without a Will?

2/ What happens if you have children from your first marriage, remarry and don't change your Will?

3/ What happens if you separate from your partner, but don't change your Will?

4/ What happens if you divorce your partner, but don't change your Will?

5/ What if you have children, but don't change your Will to include them as beneficiaries?

6/ What if you have children and don't specify guardianship?

7/ When you change your Will can you add notes to an existing Will or do you need to start again?

8/ What assets should (and should not) be included in your Will?

9/ What happens if the estate has debts?

10/ What are the responsibilities of an executor and what should you look for when choosing your executor?

11/ What happens if you have a serious accident or illness that leaves you unable to manage your affairs?

12/ Do you need a lawyer for estate planning or can you DIY?

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2 years ago
34 minutes 50 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Divorce & Children w Special Needs

This month, Ben and Heather were joined by experienced  clinical psychologist Warwick McClelland to talk about divorce and separation when children with special needs are involved.  Topics covered include:

  • Talking to children with neurodiversity about divorce and separation.
  • Types of living arrangements post-divorce that work best for children with special needs.
  • How the Family Court decides parenting arrangements for families with special needs children.
  • How Court decisions for special needs children impact on siblings.
  • How parents can help special needs children adapt to new living arrangements.
  • Parentification and whether this is more common in solo parent households.
  • How Courts determine who has the right to make medical decisions for a special needs child.
  • Whether parents have a right to dispute medical decisions made by their ex-partner.
Show more...
2 years ago
25 minutes 39 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Getting In and Out of a De Facto Relationship

This month, Ben and Heather delved into the topic of de facto relationships, answering the following questions:

  1. What is a de facto relationship?
  2. How long do you have to live together to be in a de facto relationship?
  3. How does the law decide when the de facto relationship starts and ends?
  4. What does the Court consider when deciding if a de facto relationship exists?
  5. Is it possible to be in a de facto relationship and not be living together?
  6. Is it possible to be in a de facto relationship while married to someone else?
  7. Do you need to register a de facto relationship?
  8. Is a de facto relationship any different to a marriage under the law?
  9. Does the law treat a same sex de facto relationship any differently than a heterosexual de facto?
  10. Does the law treat property disputes any differently for a de facto relationship versus a marriage?
  11. Does the law treat children's matters any differently for a de facto relationship versus a marriage?
  12. Can I apply for spousal maintenance after a de facto relationship?
  13. Should I get a pre-nup or financial agreement before entering a de facto relationship?
Show more...
2 years ago
29 minutes 1 second

The Family Matters Show
Top Six Questions on Property Settlement

Property settlement is one of the first things that separating couples need to deal with, and often one of the most emotional.  In this episode, Ben and Heather answer the top six most commonly asked questions on property settlement.  Over the years Ben and Heather have dealt with so many questions about property settlement, both in their practice and through the podcast.  They have whittled down those questions to the 6 most frequently asked and on today's show provide you with answers.  Here are the six questions:

  1. When should I start the property settlement process and how long does it take for the assets to be divided?
  2. What sorts of things get included in a property settlement and how is this agreed?
  3. What share am I going to get? Is it always the case that property is divided 50/50?
  4. Can I be forced to sell the family home?
  5. How does the Court decide who gets what in a property settlement?
  6. Do I really need to pay lawyers to formalise my property settlement?
Show more...
2 years ago
27 minutes 11 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Same-sex separation: property & parenting disputes

Ben and Heather discuss same-sex separation together with clinical psychologist Dr. Catherine Boland.  The founder of Relationspace, a team of skilled professionals helping people going through divorce to better manage their circumstances and protect the psychological health of their children, Catherine is ideally placed to provide insights into the social science side of separation.  While Heather answers the more technically legal questions.

The team cover the following topics and questions:

  1. At what point does a same-sex relationship become recognised as a de facto relationship
  2. Does the Family Law Act treat same-sex couples any differently than heterosexual couples when it comes to property settlement disputes?
  3. How does the law treat a non-biological parent when a same sex family separate?
  4. Does biology create emotional/psychological barriers to reaching parenting agreements between same sex couples?
  5. When it comes to the fundamentals of "in the best interest of the child" does the Court view same-sex couples any differently than heterosexual families when making parenting decisions?
  6. What if a lesbian couple has a sperm donor who has been involved in the life of the child? Does the sperm donor have parenting rights post-separation?
  7. If a same-sex family includes children from a previous heterosexual relationship, does the step-parent have parenting rights?
Show more...
2 years ago
28 minutes 51 seconds

The Family Matters Show
Specialist family lawyers Benjamin Bryant and Heather McKinnon and their special guests answer your questions about divorce, separation, children's matters, property settlement and family court. They empower you to make wise decisions for yourself and your family.