Rejection stings, but it doesn't have to consume us. In this video I discuss how to overcome our fear of rejection and learn how to prevent the downward spiral that it often leads to. If you struggle with confidence or low self esteem, it can be quite common to be sensitive to rejection. This video will give you practical tools you can use to become more resilient to the pain of rejection. Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:
https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Sources:Baer, R. A., Smith, G. T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L. (2006). Using self‐report assessment methods to explore facets of mindfulness. Assessment, 13(1), 27–45. https://doi.org/10.1177/1073191105283504
Ghonchehpour, A., Forouzi, M. A., Dehghan, M., Ahmadi, A., Okou, G., & Tirgari, B. (2023). The effect of mindfulness-based stress reduction on rejection sensitivity and resilience in patients with thalassemia: A randomized controlled trial. BMC Psychiatry, 23(1), 281. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04875-3
Peters, J. R., Eisenlohr-Moul, T. A., & Smart, L. M. (2016). Dispositional mindfulness and rejection sensitivity: The critical role of non judgment. Personality and Individual Differences, 93, 125-129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2015.06.029
Troy, A. S., & Mauss, I. B. (2017). Cognitive reappraisal and acceptance: Effects on emotion, physiology, and perceived cognitive costs. Current Opinion in Psychology, 17, 1–6. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.06.006 (PMC 6188704)
Social anxiety can be a long battle, which is why you need patience and self compassion. Along the way will be struggles, embarrassing moments, uncomfortable feelings and failed social attempts. It can be very tempting to pack it in as soon as things get difficult, but like most things, real change comes with persistence.
Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:
https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Sources:
Moser, J. S., Dougherty, A., Mattson, W. I., Katz, B., Moran, T. P., Guevarra, D., Shablack, H., Ayduk, Ö., Jonides, J., Berman, M. G., & Kross, E. (2017). Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI. Scientific Reports, 7, Article 4519.
Ayduk, Ö., Kross, E., & others. (2010). Implications of spontaneous self-distancing for adaptive self-reflection when facing negative events. Psychological Science, 21(8), 1166-1174.
Libby, L. K., Eibach, R. P., & Gilovich, T. (2005). Here’s looking at me: The effect of memory perspective on assessments of personal change. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(1), 50-62.
This was another older video from Youtube that I never uploaded.
I spent a large portion of my life attempting to extract respect and confidence from other people, only to realize this is a loop that never ends. We spend so much time focused on what other's think is acceptable, that we don't pause to ask ourselves what is meaningful to us. I someone out there find this helpful.
Podcast/Instagram/TikTok/Coaching - Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
The worst part of social anxiety is not necessarily the symptoms, it's the how much it robs us of our life. In this video I discuss the effects social anxiety has on our dating life, relationships, work life and general satistfaction. Stick around to the end to find out how you can start turning this fear into motivation so you can finally take back your life.
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:https://clinical-practice-and-epidemiology-in-mental-health.com/VOLUME/17/PAGE/224/FULLTEXT/https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618515300414https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7028452/https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6448478/
This is another older youtube video I never uploaded to the podcast.
In this episode, I explore what I think is the biggest mistake people with social anxiety make; focusing too much on improving social skills. Sometimes our attempts to become better at socializing perpetuates our obsessiveness and constant self criticism. Instead, let's focus on the underlying fear of rejection and embarrassment. Can we accept that sometimes we will make mistakes and make a fool of ourselves?
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Another older video from youtube that I never uploaded to the podcast.
We often fall off our path out of fear of judgment from others and we forget the fact that our life is ours to live and no one else's. The irony is that the people judging us are often only judging us because they are unsatisfied with their own lives. After all, who has time to judge others if they are focused on themselves.
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
This was a youtube video I uploaded back in February that I forgot to add to the podcast. At the end of the video I mention a follow up episode called "Depression Changes You." If you're interested in listening to that episode you can find it on the podcast homepage, dated Feb 10.
Forgiveness is never easy, especially when it's time to forgive ourselves. We forget that the person we were in the past is not the person we are now. We cannot torture ourselves for making poor decisions when we were not in a good headspace. No one makes good decisions well they are not doing well mentally. When we are suffering we make decisions that helps us survive, not thrive. Future planning is a luxury for those who are in a good place. It's time to let go and forgive yourself.
Interested in Coaching? - https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
You can also follow me on Youtube, TikTok and Instagram on the same link.
In this episode I explore the role of negativity bias in social anxiety. We often believe we have an objective understanding of ourselves, when in reality our narrative shapes everything we see. In this episode I will challenge you to challenge yourself and your beliefs about yourself and the world. Maybe we've got this thing all wrong.
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:
https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Hertel, P. T., Brozovich, F., Joormann, J., & Gotlib, I. H. (2008). Biases in interpretation and memory in generalized social phobia. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 117(2), 278–288. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.117.2.278 Beard, C., & Amir, N. (2010). Negative interpretation bias mediates the effect of social anxiety on state anxiety. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 34(3), 292–296. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-009-9258-6Johnston, C. R., Quarmley, M., Nelson, B. D., Helion, C., Murty, V. P., & Jarcho, J. M. (2023). Social feedback biases emerge during recall but not prediction and shift across the development of social anxiety. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 120(52), e2308593120. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2308593120
This is the audio from a short video I made on YouTube. Social anxiety can also impact our relationships. It can make us worry about where we stand with someone, if they are mad at us, if they like us, etc... These worries can sometimes lead to destructive behaviors (seeking validation and reassurance) that ultimately do more harm than good. In this episode I explore what can be done about your desperation so you can feel more confident in your relationships.
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Social Anxiety makes us passive, but the more passive we are the less control we feel over our own lives. We hold onto narratives decades old because we have no new information to change them. If we want to change how we think and feel about ourselves, we have to change how we act first. Give yourself a chance to learn something new about yourself. Maybe you are not the unlikeable loser you have always thought. Maybe if you put yourself out there enough times, you can find people who like all the weird things about you. Time to get out of our heads and take action. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #lonely #loneliness Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Youtube episode: https://youtu.be/KZdJjPdUWQ0
Alcohol, unfortunately, can be very good at calming our nerves. I say unfortunately because this can create a very dangerous cycle. If we rely on alcohol to get through our social situations, we increase our likehood of having alcohol problems. We are also not addressing the fear of socializing at it's core. When we drink we are finding a loophole around the fear, which doesn't allow us to overcome the fear in the longrun. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #sociallyawkward Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. (2023, May 9). Alcohol and other substance use to cope with social anxiety. Spectrum. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/news-events/spectrum/volume-15-issue-2-spring-2023/alcohol-and-other-substance-use-cope-with-social-anxietyProtective Strategies Study Team, Villarosa-Hurlocker, M. C., Bravo, A. J., Pearson, M. R., Prince, M. A., Madson, M. B., Henson, J. M., Looby, A., Gonzalez, V. M., Henslee, A. M., Cuttler, C., Wong, M. M., & McChargue, D. E. (2019). The relationship between social anxiety and alcohol and marijuana use outcomes among concurrent users: A motivational model of substance use. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 43(4), 732-740. https://doi.org/10.1111/acer.13966Book, S. W., & Randall, C. L. (2002). Social anxiety disorder and alcohol use. Alcohol Research & Health, 26(2), 130-135.Hart, G., Panayi, M. C., Harris, J. A., & Westbrook, R. F. (2014). Benzodiazepine treatment can impair or spare extinction, depending on when it is given. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 56, 22–29. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.02.004Skelly, M. J., Chappell, A. J., Carter, E., Weiner, J. L., & Gujar, N. (2015). Adolescent social isolation increases anxiety-like behavior and ethanol consumption in adult C57BL/6J mice. Pharmacology, Biochemistry & Behavior, 133, 7-15. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pbb.2015.04.004Bisby, J. A., King, J. A., Sulpizio, V., Degeilh, F., Curran, H. V., & Burgess, N. (2015). Extinction learning is slower, weaker and less context specific after alcohol. Neurobiology of Learning and Memory, 125, 55–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.nlm.2015.07.014Rosen, C. S., Greenbaum, M. A., Schnurr, P. P., Holmes, T. H., Brennan, P. L., & Friedman, M. J. (2013). Do benzodiazepines reduce the effectiveness of exposure therapy for posttraumatic stress disorder? The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 74(12), 1241-1247. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.13m08592
Self-consciousness prevents us from living and acting freely in the world. When we are in a social situation and we become self conscious it becomes nearly impossible to engage in conversations because we feel we need to constantly watch and edit ourselves. In this episode I explore why we are self conscious and what mindset shifts and practical skills we can adopt to step outside of ourselves and rid ourselves of fear and social anxiety. Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Fistikci, N., Saatcioglu, Ö., Keyvan, A., Kalkan, M., & Topçuoğlu, V. (2015). Attentional bias and training in social anxiety disorder. Noro Psikiyatr Arsivi, 52(1), 4–7. https://doi.org/10.5152/npa.2015.8777 Arad, G., Azriel, O., Pine, D. S., Lazarov, A., Sol, O., Weiser, M., Garber, E., Bloch, M., & Bar-Haim, Y. (2023). Attention bias modification treatment versus a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or waiting list control for social anxiety disorder: A randomized clinical trial. The American Journal of Psychiatry, 180(5), 357–366. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20220533Amir, N., Foa, E. B., & Coles, M. E. (2009). Attention training in individuals with generalized social phobia: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 118(1), 159–170. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013643
PODCAST NAME CHANGE! THIS WAS FORMERLY THE "THERAPY ON TAP PODCAST."
Sometimes it feels like no matter how many times we put ourselves in social situations, nothing gets better. We are still filled with the same dread and anxiety, despite people and mental health professionals telling you "you have to challenge yourself" if you want to overcome fear and build confidence. In this episode I explore why exposure therapy doesn't always work, and what you can to actually make the progress you are looking for.Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidenceSources:Edgar, E. V., Richards, A., Castagna, P. J., Bloch, M. H., & Crowley, M. J. (2024). Post-event rumination and social anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 187, 87–97. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychires.2024.03.013Watkins, E. R., & Roberts, H. (2020). Reflecting on rumination: Consequences, causes, mechanisms and treatment of rumination. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 127, 103573. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2020.103573Donohue, H. E., Modini, M., Abbott, M. J., Rapee, R. M., & others. (2024). Psychological interventions for pre-event and post-event rumination in social anxiety: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 102, Article 102823. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2023.102823Price, M., & Dalgleish, T. (2010). The impact of cognitive behavioural therapy on post-event rumination in social phobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 48(8), 673–678. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2010.04.003Maeda, S., Yoshida, K., Amano, K., Tamagawa, A., Hayashino, Y., & others. (2022). The effect of distraction versus post-event processing on cortisol recovery in individuals with elevated social anxiety. Biological Psychology, 182, Article 108918. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2022.108918Gray, E., Beierl, E. T., & Clark, D. M. (2019). Sub-types of safety behaviours and their effects on social anxiety disorder. PLOS ONE, 14(10), e0223165Evans, R., Chiu, K., Clark, D. M., Waite, P., & Leigh, E. (2021). Safety behaviours in social anxiety: An examination across adolescence. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 144, Article 103931
When we feel anxious in social situations, we play it safe. We don't tell the funny joke, we sit in the corner of the room, we don't share our interests. This can temporarily make us feel more safe and at ease, but actually exacerbates the anxiety in the long run. In this episode I explore why playing it safe is a dangerous game, how it traps us from truly accepting ourselves and allowing others to accept us, and how it makes things worse in the long run. #socialanxiety #shyness #shyguy #socialskills #confidence #confidencebuilding Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Every socially anxious person's nightmare... You're in a conversation, things seem to be going ok, when suddenly... your brain freezes. Now your heart and your thoughts are racing, trying to come up with something to say. What do you do now? In this video I dive deep into this commonly asked questioned by social anxiety sufferers, and the answer may not be at all what you expected. #socialanxiety #shyness #shyguy #socialskills #confidence #confidencebuilding
Interested in following me or booking a coaching session? Find all links in Linktree below:https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
Self confidence can be quite the Paradox. If you don't already have confidence, no amount of achievement will give it to you. This is because our low self esteem doesn't allow us to appreciate our successes. In this video, I explore a more reliable way to attain and build confidence; learning to trust ourselves to overcome rather than measuring ourselves based on our perceived achievements. #confidence #selfconfidence #selfsteem #perfectionism #perfectionist Interested in working with me:For NY/NJ: https://charlesperrytherapy.com/For Non-NJ/NJ: https://www.calm-confidence-coaching.com/Podcast:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4EdDP9fkklpSaLZhMxPwVE?si=hk7Fd58VTZK0pyocVxv34gApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapy-on-tap/id1758550585Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calmconfidencecoaching/?igsh=MXQyYnppMHJ2cGV5OQ%3D%3DTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@calmconfidencecoach?_t=ZP-8vQMixBga6Q&_r=1
Marijuana has become more accepted both culturally and legally, and on the whole this has been a good thing. However, I think we are being dishonest if we don't acknowledge the very real dangers of marijuana. Marijuana has been proven to increase the likelihood of psychosis and schizophrenia. It is also not as effective as advertised in treating anxiety and depression. I'm not saying you need to stop smoking, you just have to be careful. #mentalhealthawareness #psychosis #schizophrenia #anxiety #depression #marijuanalegalization
Depression isn't always an internal problem. Sometimes we are depressed because our life is simply not going well. Some of these reasons are out of our control, others are in our control but we're having difficulty making the appropriate changes. In this episode I explore how modern therapy and psychiatry has become lazy by labeling everything a "disorder." It's not a disorder if we are seeing things objectively, but just not happy about it. #depression #depressed #depressionawareness #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealth
Socials:
https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
You may not realize this, but by trying to "improve" your social skills, you are actually making your social anxiety worse. If you struggle with social anxiety you already obsess about how you come across, what you are saying, how you are saying it, etc. By trying to "improve" your skills, you actually exacerbate the obsessiveness. In this episode I will discuss how you can let go and finally find the freedom you are looking for. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #shyness #shygirl #shyguy
Socials:
https://linktr.ee/calmconfidence
We can't avoid judgement from others, so don't bother trying. Our attempts to avoid it only make our social anxiety worse and it won't stop the judgment from coming anyway. #socialanxiety #socialanxietydisorder #confidence #resilience #freedom Interested in getting in contact?https://charlesperrytherapy.com/Podcast link:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4EdDP9fkklpSaLZhMxPwVE?si=d819309608b54a6aApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/therapy-on-tap/id1758550585Instagram Link: Instagram.com/anxietyfreecpFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/charlesperrytherapy?mibextid=LQQJ4d
