I'm sure you've heard the old adage "Comparison is the thief of joy", but even if you know this on a rational level it still can't stop you from unconsciously comparing your own progress to the progress of others.
Today I'm talking about why we compare ourselves to others on an evolutionary level, why comparison can actually be good and why social media has thrown off the balance and allowed comparison to get so out of hand.
I talk about the philosophy of meritocracy and why believing that we can achieve the same as others based on our efforts is actually causing us to feel bad and unbelievably inadequate.
I then share some tips on how to overcome upward social comparison bias & how we can learn to be kinder to ourselves by actively doing the work.
This will be my last podcast episode for the year, thank you soooo much for listening. I'll be recording and researching over December and hoping to do some more interviews so if you would like to get involved or can recommend people please send me a message on Instagram.
For help getting started with mindfulness you can download my FREE guided relaxation audio by subscribing to my newsletter.
Sources
Study about facebook & self esteem
Status Anxiety - The School of Life
“upward social comparison bias.” as referenced by neuroscientist arman sirmirlisoy
Nicole LePera "How to do the Work"
So for this week's episode I've got something a little bit different. I'm going to be playing a short portion of my deep relaxation audio.
So one of the main causes of burnout and working yourself into a really stressful place is having unreasonably high standards for yourself.
If you're feeling like you're not doing enough, like you're comparing yourself to others, or like you have something to prove, this is a sign of a really critical inner dialogue that is essentially telling you that you're not good enough.
So creating some mindfulness and distance with these thoughts are really the key to being able to catch them in the moment rather than accept them as our reality - this takes a lot of practice and a lot of 'doing the work.'
You can question why you're having these thoughts, where they come from and most importantly of all, you can stand up for yourself and answer back to your negative inner critic.
So I'm going to play the first half of the meditation - for the full audio, sign up to my newsletter to download the MP3. It's 15 minutes - I recommend giving it a listen just before bed to help you unwind and put a pause on any work related activity in your brain.
I used to think that good customer service meant having no boundaries
I used to think that being a good friend meant having no boundaries
I used to think that being a hard worker meant having no boundaries
I used to think that being a good partner meant having no boundaries
What does this look like? If you like to be there for people and be a reliable pillar of support regardless of your own wants and needs, this applies to you.
A few examples of this are: answering emails and messages as soon as you receive them - even when you're in bed, about to go to sleep or out with friends.
Offering to hold space for a friend and being available to talk to them about their problems when you are not in a good head space yourself and need to be alone.
In today's episode we talk about how to set boundaries when it feels like people are taking advantage of you & I share 4 tips on how to get started.
Have you ever heard of toxic positivity?
"Look on the bright side", "It could be worse," "positive vibes only" "No excuses", or my personal favourite "but have you tried going for a walk/meditation/a positive mindset?"
While these things are all individually really good for your mental health - it can be incredibly invalidating when you're not feeling good and someone suggests that your problems could be easily solved by doing something simple like changing your mindset/behaviour.
It implies that the fault is your own for not simply adjusting your mindset rather than just a normal and completely understandable response - it is in fact a personal flaw.
If you've ever hidden away from the world when you've felt sad, felt shame or tried to sugar coat your uncomfortable feelings like sadness, anger, or jealousy to make other people feel comfortable then have a listen to this podcast episode where I talk about how toxic positivity effects us in our bodies and the long term effects of denying your right to feel sad.
I also share some tips at the end and offer some words of validation. If you needed permission, here it is.
Links:
Instagram - I've now moved Instagram accounts! You can find me at @Sabhalo_
Link to my mailing list to download my FREE Progressive Muscle Relaxation audio for a deep hypnotic relaxation for stress & burnout.
Sabhalo Store - for preventative self care items & my self care box for beating burnout.
Source to the medical journal I referenced about supressing your emotions
Source for the quote I used by Caroline Fenkel
Lisa Hussain is a mindset coach and growth mentor and her specific focus is helping women live with purpose and overcome generational trauma and shame.
I met her at the live recording of Sangheeta Pillai’s Masala Podcast Panel and we instantly clicked.
I really loved listening to her thoughts on how generational trauma can unknowingly affect the way we live our lives and was so excited to have her on the podcast to recreate the conversations we had that day.
In this episode we talk about how we can become burnt out when carrying the expectations and emotional baggage of the previous generations, we question our own expectations of ourselves and where these standards came from and Lisa discusses the problems that mothers face when carrying trauma and how to release it to become your true self.
In this interview we share our own experiences as south asian women and how generational trauma is so linked to the immigrant experience - however generational trauma affects all people from all walks of life so I really hope it will be a valuable listen and give you some food for thought on your own situation.
She is incredibly eloquent and at times hilarious - I think you’re going to really love this inspiring interview with Lisa.
You can connect with her here:
To receive the FREE deep relaxation hypnotic induction audio that I mentioned in the podcast, don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter at the link below:
Connect with me on Instagram (BTW I've moved instagram accounts! Click on the link to follow my new account.)
Until next time,
Puvan
x
Today's episode is about how seasonal rituals and self care activities can help us prevent burnout. I talk about the spiritual significance of Mabon, a pagan holiday that celebrated the Autumn Equinox and why we need holidays and traditions like these to collectively mark and feel human emotions.
I talk about the importance of community and belonging and why as a society this has fallen by the wayside as we're left to fend for ourselves a chaotic world.
I share my thoughts on why the game 'animal crossing' is such a hit and what we can learn from it as well as inviting you to celebrate autumn with some seasonal self care ideas.
Sign up to my newsletter here for updates on the podcast & weekly tips & inspiring emails to help you stop pleasing other people and start pleasing yourself.
You can buy the burnout box as well as other items from my shop here:
You can DM me spooky horror film recommendations & pie recipes here:
Instagram (I've moved instagram accounts)
And if you prefer to read, you can have a read of this podcast in blog format at the show notes below:
In this week's very exciting podcast episode, I talk with Kendall Platt, a mindful gardening coach that helps women stop doing the things they think they should be doing and start taking time for themselves one moment in the garden at a time.
In this interview she gives actionable tips on how to get started, she talks strategies on making gardening less overwhelming and she shares her incredibly valuable story on how she went from a high achieving burnt out forensic scientist/jewellery designer (yes, both at the same time) to being a mindful gardening coach with a mission to help high achieving stressed out women find headspace one seed at a time.
We talk about what it's like having a 'do it all' identity and how it feels to move away from that as well as chat about people pleasing and our experiences of being told that women shouldn't be 'too much'.
I hope you enjoy this incredibly valuable interview with Kendall and it helps you to feel some camaraderie if you're feeling stressed out, burnt out and like you're juggling all of the plates.
Below are some links for purchasing the burnout box & connecting with me.
Preorder Kendall's mindful gardening planner & connect with her on instagram here:
Books referenced:
Today I discuss whether overworking is a coping mechanism and whether you could be using work to distract you from uncomfortable feelings buried under the surface.
We all know the typical coping mechanisms especially the more harmful ones like drinking, eating, spending money etc. but could your drive to succeed also be the perfect distraction?
I talk about why I think moping can actually be good for you and why society seems to want to shush our feelings aways.
Sign up to my newsletter here for updates on the podcast, an email when my burnout box is released & weekly tips & inspiring emails to help you stop pleasing other people and start pleasing yourself.
You can connect with me here:
Today I discuss the 3 personality traits that are highly likely to suffer from burnout, are you one of them?
Apologies for this weeks audio, I know it sounds like I'm playing the drums/having a fist fight with my mic but I was just so excited to talk about this week's subject. :)
You can connect with me here:
In this week's episode I talk about burnout from putting in more than you're getting out. I talk imposter syndrome among creatives, the danger of having a moving goalpost and what you could be sacrificing by not being present.
As creatives, business owners & entrepreneurs you are in control of your own time and schedule, so what interests me is - why are so many people that are in control still so overworked and miserable?
The answer to this is success and what it means to us.
Connect with me here:
In this episode of the Burnout Brigade I talk about where the term 'Burnout' originally comes from and what we can learn from the demographic of people that it originally applied to. I talk about the guilt of not being productive and discuss what we can do to prioritize and uplift the current version of our selves instead of idolizing who we have the potential to be. I also discuss my own experiences with burnout and why I started this podcast in the first place.
Ways to connect with me here:
Show notes - click here for the full blog post if you'd prefer to have a read.
Until next time x
This Podcast is a burnout survival guide for empaths, people pleasers and perfectionists.
In this podcast I will explore why burnout seems so common and what causes it, I will be sharing tips on how to prevent it and I will be interviewing guests to hear about their burnout stories.
