Send us a text Back from 3 weeks off and it only kind of shows. Jim is sorry for the excessive use of the F word. Stick and stones, people... Bucket trapNewt's--Exciting new menu item: Milkshakes!Shoutout Lance from ThinkDrinkDisneySong of the Week:VanHalen--Ain't Talkin' 'Bout LoveGovernment Mule and Friends--Soul ShineRIP Local Newsman Stan TurnerDeviled HamCoach pantsChief ExportHands and Feet and other popular phrasesMark's multi-screen experience#Newt's #ThinkDrinkDisne...

Send us a text Due to scheduling conflicts (we're both very popular), we had to reach into the pantry and pull an episode off the shelf. This one can be described as old and sorta loose. Grow up. We spend as much time trying to conceal the date of the recording as anything else. Mark singsNewt's gets their beer's worth on this oneClassic Civil Defense WarningRadio Game--have you missed it?2nd AlbumsBetter Cars singer?Mark's visit to churchBest last name everAscertainers Dopp...

Send us a text They say size doesn't matter (well Mark does, anyway), but this one flowed so well, that we ran long. No extra charge. This is the second episode of the recording session with our Mystery Guest. Wide ranging topics and some deep insights that our regular listeners (both of you) might not be used to. Slacks/Trousers/PantsMalcolm in the MiddleHow guys communicateNicknamesPowered by Newt'sWhat Mark sawTeachers used to mean businessOur first phone guestSchool lunc...

Send us a text Nobody is completely clear as to why today's guest is anonymous. Maybe he's famous or something. Jim's famous wife joins as well. Dick & JaneThe big anatomy book (the book is big, the anatomy is regular size)Bruce JennerousYour Digital OasisThe Body HumanGolf recap"Have you ever filmed yourself swinging?"Are the Packers for real?QB confidenceGumbaccoFreshen up gumMr Unlimited vs Dandy DonDIY BloodsportSchool-age McGuyverCome on, Buford!Songs of the Week:Brothers...

Send us a text I'd describe this one as bouncy and light. A couple of decent laughs to be had. Thanks for listening! The Optimistic Alligator TamerVacation Boxing in BangkokPoint of PrideMickey's Diner > or < Waffle HouseMN State FairAirplane was a cover?David Lee Roth is at it againSongs of the Week:Pink Floyd--Learning to FlyOutlaws--Green Grass and High TidesTalk show host primerESPN Anchor nostalgiaGroup photosLeonard SkinnerGuiness Book of World RecordsNewt's--saving th...

Send us a text Took a couple of weeks off and the break might have paid off. You decide... Eric from JL BeersCracker BarrelShoutout guests Jack and JakeNewt's--How to eat for $2.13MN State FairThe miracle of birthSongs of the WeekWillie Wisely--ParadorBlind Melon--DriveWhat Jim thinks the road must be likeThe rest of the Police hate StingKeith Moon--overrated?Benny HillPhyllis DillerSteve Steven's footwearThe Prince Solo#NewtsAppleValleyMN TheAscertainers@gmail.com Willie Wisely & t...

Send us a text We bring the adult neighbor kids back for a second round. We tackle some of life's most pressing questions. The power of enunciationGuest Newt's spotBoo hoo Billy JoelWe're Pontiac famousAn inch can be a lotThe Most Famous Person You've Ever MetBill Murray winsSongs of the WeekBilly Idol--Eyes Without a FaceRiley Green--Jesus SavesBilly Idol--Mony MonyWe skipped Mark--oopsWho Would You Like to Meet?How Would You Prove That You Were From the Future?What's the Bigges...

Send us a text We are joined by Jack and Jake. I list Jack first because it was supposed to be just Jack, but Jake pulled a big brother move. Entertaining episode! The GodfatherThe GuitarGolf (This episode brought to you by the letter G)OG Neighbor kids meet the new cropAt this point in the episode Mark has said about seven wordsThird Kid tribulationsDicklomat (copyright pending)Mr BasketballSongs of the Week:The Chain--Fleetwood MacCream--Prince & the New Power GenerationTire...

Send us a text I think this one could crack our top 87 episodes of all time. It's that good. For real, it's worth a listen! Joe Namath and hosiery Who else misses Johnny Carson?RIP Loni AndersonPlastic SurgeryMark's thingErrors and OmissionsWho wants ham?Grateful Dead foolerySong of the WeekRIP Terry Reid#Newt'sAppleValley TheAscertainers@gmail.com Chef reacts to TikTok monstrosity - ‪@chefreactions‬ - YouTube Tenement - Garden Of Secrecy (Official Audio) Terry Reid May Fly T...

Send us a text We've hit the big time as we now advertise in the Tomahawk Club Newsletter (Mark's private Pontiac owners club). I think it's an exclusive. Wonder what Joe Rogan thinks of THAT! Par 3 golfNewt's awesome new burgerErrors & OmissionsOzzy's cool outfitSong of the weekJim: Wings--Band on the RunMark: Fleetwood Mac--Got to MoveIs R Kelly becoming our new Meatloaf?Taj MahalCommon Phrase OriginsMovie Reviews:Happy Gilmore 2FriendshipOld Playboy's TheAs...

Send us a text Reunited after two weeks off from recording, and it feels so good. Sure, we took a little time away and the world loses the Prince of Darkness, but you know what they say--you gotta break a few eggs. Rough week for Iconic personalitiesRIP Ozzy--Thanks for the great tunesSongs of the week--OzzyFlying High AgainSee You on the Other SideShout out Lil' Sis, JillWe're not mad at Pat....Sorry SueThe swearing needs to stopSongs of the Week Black SabbathWar PigsSweet LeafMossball...

Send us a text Pulled this episode off the shelf due to summer schedules. Originally recorded after Part 1 on March 14. Swear Alert--Jim drops more F-bombs than usual (he's working on it). It's probably a function of him overserving himself... Audio is a little janky at first but gets better. What day do you listen?Newt's shoutout OG KaylaPlaydoughFrom the Grave--The Radio Game!REMComedy Movies--Part 2Marx Brothers--Mark's thoughts on the harp#NewtsAppleValley #Fubar T...

Send us a text Jim was on vacation this week, so abbreviated write up. Round 2 with Chantz and Paris is a good time. From Mark's out of town drink preferences to drinking too much prune juice in Switzerland--its got something for everyone! Enjoy! #NewtsAppleValley TheAscertainers@gmail.com

Send us a text Mark's oldest son Chantz and lifelong friend/neighbor Paris join us for a free-flowing conversation that covers a lot of ground. Something for everyone. Escape planGuest introMark's early drivewayThe smelter storyNewt's initiationYoung man, old soulEarly musician storiesGuest songs of the dayYeah by UsherLet it Happen by Tame ImpalaKing GizzardErrors and OmissionsPeter GravesWith a name like "Jerk Dry Rub" it HAS to be gooodMaariah Carey/ Eminem feudLanguage evolutionR Ke...

Send us a text Trying out a shorter episode to see if anyone can tell. We cover a lot of ground with a few laughs. Bring back the Radio Game?PseudonymsNewt's--Mark's CheersErrors & OmissionsQuarterbacksJim's Song of the WeekPan O Prog Plaza Stage previewCome meet Mark and JimMark's Song of the WeekMark's Motorcycle tripWall DrugRIP Bobby Sherman and Nick RouseWall DrugTheAscertainers@gmail.com #Newt's #PanOProg

Send us a text This was a tough one to give a title to, as we covered a lot of ground and nothing too specifically. Some decent laughs though! Gong Show / Match Game babesTom Jones--Lady KillerBourbon JimThe Beyond Burger Smash experiment updateNewt's--You can also get a saladSongs of the week Mark--Tryin' by EaglesJim--Gator Country by Molly HatchetDwight Yoakam / Tom Petty ConfidenceLyle Lovett tooDolly Parton Rock band or not?Give your worries a rest now and then#Newt's #Bu...

Send us a text Welcome back. Pretty laid-back episode for you this time. The goutThanks Reader's DigestCarlos MenciaBeeGeesErrors & OmissionsCharlie's 100 yard dash fantasyEwwww Rick SpringfieldSpoiler Alert: To Live and Die in LARIP Jim MarshallRIP Brian WilsonBeach BoysPeeWee, Phil and NormNewt's--be part of history!#NewtsAppleAvalley TheAscertainers@gmail.com The Making of "Jessie's Girl" I honestly wanted to put a Ralphie May clip here, but all of them were just a bit too ...

Send us a text Buckle up. This one goes off road. A few laughs to be had. Enjoy. Enhanced introMyriad--take 9Shaking or nodding?Help from ChatGPTOur fake songYou can't see AI liveMark loves kidsShoutout Mancini'sNewt's--Your Experimental Burger LeaderErrors & OmissionsPee Wee As Himself DocThe Groundlings#NewtsAppleValley #Smash The Ascertainers@gmail.com Pee-wee as Himself | Official Trailer | HBO Our fake song https://www.riffusion.com/song/d49aea93-d882-4b7d-81c2-6473...

Send us a text Your boys got things sorted out and are back to our old selves. Shout out Nilsson and DonovanThings came to a headLiltSpelling BeeAn attempt at a professional introJim's doppelganger from Modern FamilyTheme music appreciationQuagmireSteve Miller, The Baby's and Billy IdolRIP Rick DerringerWierd AlYep--MeatloafTom Petty--Runnin' Down a Dream DocUsed Grilled CheeseSongs that boosted bandsBody HairShout out Think Drink Disney podcastThank you#Newts #TheBestShipOfAllIsFriend...

Send us a text Of course, we mean RUNNING races, which is what we end spending an unusal amount of time discussing. We do talk about drummers too. Beyond middle ageBreak in routineAttitude AdjustmentGolfNewt's--What's your favorite burger???Memorial Day ToastThanks for your service, MarkSteve Tyler vs Kenny the Jet revistedChatGPT decides the winnerPompatusHigh Diving With the StarsParental AdvisoryFooled Around & Fell in LoveWe might have a Meatloaf problemThe Drummer partFoo Fight...