The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
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The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
From Likable to Influential: The 3C Method [Social Intelligence Brief]
The Art of Charm
17 minutes
3 weeks ago
From Likable to Influential: The 3C Method [Social Intelligence Brief]
Do people like you… but never seem to respect you? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak reveal the hidden social trap of being “too agreeable.” While it might seem like the best way to build rapport, research shows that excessive agreeableness actually suppresses your influence, erodes your authenticity, and leads to burnout.
You’ll learn why likability isn’t the goal—and how the Three C Model (Challenge, Curiosity, and Contrast) can transform your conversations into memorable, high-impact interactions that demand attention and build real connection.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why being likable doesn't make you more influential
[00:01:15] The hidden cost of being predictably agreeable: burnout and boredom
[00:02:27] Why people won’t respect your time if you don’t value it first
[00:04:00] Agreeableness suppresses authenticity—and makes others trust you less
[00:04:37] The Harvard study: Why respectful disagreement builds stronger connection
[00:06:28] The Three C Model for breaking free from the “nice” trap
[00:07:13] How to challenge respectfully without sounding combative
[00:07:55] Curiosity with intention: The secret to deepening conversations
[00:08:21] Contrast with authenticity: Sharing personal truths to build influence
[00:10:44] Why most people operate from a worldview they never chose
[00:12:04] Mistake #3: Agreeing when you actually disagree
[00:12:42] Likability ≠ connection—how hiding your thoughts delays rejection
[00:13:08] What is “productive friction” and why it makes you unforgettable
[00:13:54] Take the Influence Index assessment to uncover your social blind spots
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Curious about your influence level?
Get your Influence Index Score today!
Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence.
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The Art of Charm
The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.
