We're in our 100th episode era! Here to kick of your new year right (we'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's day) we've combined our three loves: Destiel, Taylor Swift and sorting. In this episode we talk about Taylor's Gryffindor and Hufflepuff songs from every era, and talk your ear off about what they tell use about Destiel. I don't care if you don't love Taylor Swift or Destiel, or even know what they are - this is our Magnum Opus. Read our manuscript ya'll. The story isn't ours anymore.
You thought we were done with Tay Tay, didn't you? How could we be done when there are SO MANY SONGS she didn't put on her albums (and that we forgot)? Do y'all think she's gonna do Taylor's Version of these? RIP to the Kendrick version of Bad Blood. ANYWAY, this episode is the clean up of the Eras Sort. Taylor wrote some songs that are just floating out there all on their lonesome, and we're here to sort them. No stone unturned, no song unsorted. We hope you enjoy what will be the last of Taylor until we get Rep TV, Debut TV or TS12...I'm totally lying, the next episode is Taylor Swift too.
We've upgraded from the Ton to royalty (and the best member of the Ton). Queen Charlotte and Lady Danbury are, in these humble viewers' opinions, the best part of Bridgerton, and we're excited we finally get to sort them (and King George is alright too). The love stories in this show (including the platonic love stories) perfectly show off the Charlotte, George and Lady Danbury's houses.
And Carrie couldn't help but wonder...did her inability to sort herself mean she'd never be able to sort out her love life as well?
AND JUST LIKE THAT...Tricia joins us this week to sort Sex and the City, the original girly gang. We're here to talk alllll about Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. We even throw in a little Big, Harry and Steve. Spoiler alert - we've got a full castle here, but we won't tell you who goes where (come on guys, it's not that hard). Grab a set at our diner/bar/high-end restaurant of choice and gab with us about New York's It Girls.
Travel back in time with us to the early to mid-2000s, when everything Hollywood produced had that special YA dystopian glow. Uglies was originally written as a book but was finally turned into a move decades later. This week we do our best to sort Tally, David and Shay. Do we succeed? Likely, we are incredible at our jobs. But that doesn't mean we didn't struggle with the material.
I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU BABY YOU WERE MADE FOR LOVING ME!!! Movies are so back baby! This week we talk about the Fall Guy, the best movie to come out in the last decade and Lauren's current hyperfixation and comfort movie! Don't worry, we briefly touch on Aaron Taylor Johnson and Hannah Waddingham for the ~culture but the real stars of the show are Colt and Jodie, or Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt if you're feeling nasty. Let's ignore that this movie is based off an old TV show in the 80s it's totally new media we have never ever heard of before. And there are unicorns. It's a very fun sort, check it out.
Have you heard of Fromville? No? Have we got a treat for you. Imagine one day you're driving anywhere in America. and you come across a fallen tree. Then you see a town. You keep driving. You see an awfully familiar looking town. You keep driving. It's the same town. You're going in circles. People run in front of your car screaming to get inside a building with them before you die. You spend the night with an old lady standing outside the door, asking you to open it, telling you you're no fun, while screams of terror echo in the distance. You will never go home again. That's From! And it's what we're sorting!!! What kind of houses do you think live here?
BTW - Happy Birthday Rachel, and thanks for joining us again George!
MAXIMUM EFFORT. Finally, after years of waiting, we sort the one and only Merc with a Mouth, he puts the double ass in assassin, he is Marvel Jesus. Hannah gets to spend her birthday sorting Wade Winston Wilson and Logan Howlett, better know as Deadpool and Wolverine. Exciting news for all of you, we have a little fight about them, but unfortunately nothing as erotic as what goes on in a Honda Odyssey. Still worth a listen though, especially since we're discussing the duo that saved the MCU.
All my mornings are Tuesdays stuck in an endless NOT POSTING THE EPISODE. What if we just moved the podcast drop to Wednesdays. There just did it. We've never been late in our lives. In fact we've been early a bunch of times. ANYWAY, it's the episode you've all been waiting for! Just like Taylor gives you barely any notice when a new album drops (Reputation Easter egg) we are randomly throwing The Tortured Poets Department straight into your open mouths. Eat it up, it's delicious. And also 4 hours I'm pretty sure. Sorry about that. Are you complaining about more content? Calm down.
Dearest Gentle Readers,
Did you miss us? Already this message is beginning to sound way too much like Gossip Girl. But who was Lady Whistledown if not the original GG? And in this episode we'll be sorting the Lady W herself, along with her simp of a husband and her mama, who may not be as awful as we all initially thought (spoilers: we at SOB love her). I know you're all worried we got rusty in our sorting skills over hiatus but we're here to tell you we DEFINITELY DID NOT. Because truthfully we never stop. Now sit back, relax, and let us tell you what houses these members of the ton belong too. XOXO LW
It's the end of an era! But not really, because the Chairman put out a new album we'll need to put out soon. HOWEVER, it is the end of the eras that created the Eras Tour, and we're celebrating by partying at midnight with Midnights. And that's all the Midnights. 'Til Down, 3AM edition, secret You're Losing Me edition...who knows how many more. But we sorted all the songs (that we know of) and we're here to tell you where they belong.
Lover - 8:29
folklore - 1:00:50
evermore - 2:00:00
We're in a post-TTPD world, but we sorted all of these albums pre-TTPD. Guess what, our feelings have not changed! TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL. Anyway, here we talk about two of the most lyrically beautiful albums Taylor has ever written, plus Lover! Can you believe the pandemic actually gave us the gift that is folklore? Neither can we, but it's a gift that we deserve so we'll take it.
LAUREN TURNED 30 THIS WEEK! And for her 30th birthday, we're going to explore the very roots of our homoerotic society. That's right kids, while Destiel was a mere fledgling ship and at less than 100 fics on LiveJournal, Merther was out here DOING THE DAMN THING in season 1. And don't come at us being all "oh, this must be another Hufflepuff/Gryffindor ship!" IT'S NOT. It is something we have never seen before and will probably never see again, that's how goddamn rare it is. If we do see it again, I doubt we'll see it done this well, or well at all. Anyway, come join us in Camelot, on the shores of Lake Avalon, where magic is outlawed, there is only one once and future king, a sword in a stone, dragon, and the greatest sorcerer in history. Try not to cry like we did.
Debut - 19:30
Fearless (TV) - 45:17
Speak Now (TV) - 1:25:47
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING. How many times do we talk about Taylor Swift on this podcast? Almost as much as we talk about Supernatural. More so lately now that she's President of the World. So here's the deal: we already sort all her songs in our free time, we figured, why not record for everyone? In the name of science. So that's what we did, and we're starting with the three OG albums, Taylor Swift (better known as Debut; it's ok Taylor, you were young), Fearless (TV) and Speak Now (TV). We'll sort every single song on every single album, and then, using Taylor math, we'll sort the album. Are you excited???? You fucking better be, purely to know what house your favorite song was sorted into.
Hi. Hi. Omg. we've finally posted an episode on a Tuesday in 2024 (I mean...they've all been posted on Tuesday...). ANYWAY. Happy Valentine's Day! To celebrate all of you in love, we're sorting Heartstopper, a cute wholesome little show about teenagers in love that was straight gooey fluff. We're sorting the whole gang (that's Nick, Charlie, Elle, Tao and Isaac for those of you who haven't kept up) and mostly this whole episode is as wholesome as the show itself. Mostly. Apologies to comics Tao, we hear we may have liked you better. BUT that didn't stop us from discussing these kids' dramas and relationships just in time for a commercialized holiday all about buying people you like chocolate. Did you know Valentine was a Saint that chased all of the snakes out of Ireland? And now we celebrate him with heart-shaped chalk discussed as candy. BE MINE and all that. This has gotten way off topic. We really enjoyed Heartstopper, thanks to all the Destiel girlies who turned us onto it.
OPA! We are 3/3 on getting the podcast out on Wednesday for 2024, and soon we're gonna gaslight you into thinking that was the release date all along. Now let me tell you how the word "gaslight" is Greek. Anyway. This week we're sorting all your favs from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which of course includes Toula, Ian, Gus, Maria and Voula. Plus a little Paris and all of the other cousins, because it's a big family and why not. This episode you'll hear a lot about Rachel's childhood cultural trauma (which are somehow at the same time her most treasured memories, go figure) and use jumping around from character to character like it's a Greek circus. Put some Windex on it and enjoy.
GENOVIA. THE LAND I CALL MY HOME. We're in Genovia this week! And we're sorting pretty much everyone worth sorting, which of course includes her majesty Mia Minuette Thermapolis Rinaldi, QUEEN of Genovia. We're following her from San Fran all the way to that little country tucked between France and Spain as we continue with our best of the early 2000s movies. With so many characters we basically cover the whole sorting spectrum, and that still doesn't save us from having an incredibly common romantic couple (Hollywood loves these houses together and on a related note I love you Nicholas Devereaux). Anyway. We also talk about Lily. And obviously Queen Clarisse. And Joe, the best character of all with the best line of all. Anyway. Give us Princess Diaries 3 you cowards.
Boo, you whores. It's time to sort the mean girls! We've got a round up of Plastics and a girl from Africa (don't ask her why she's white) to sort this week, because, well, we just hit 2024, but to use it still feels like 2004. Plus, the musical Gen Z version of this movie comes out soon, and we're riding the coattails of this Renaissance like you wouldn't believe. So come join us in sorting, because we're not like regular podcasts, we're a cool podcast, and we know you're obsessed with us, and we've got four for you Glenn Coco, and even some crack....how many references can I throw into one podcast summary? I don't know, but she doesn't even go here. Just join us, we promise it'll be fun.
